Post by Andre Jenson on Sept 28, 2015 20:31:57 GMT -5
“Kem. The year is 2998 of the 3rd age and the era of the flatulent donkey. Empires have been and gone, huge monuments have been erected, huge ancient monuments that mean nothing to the common man any more stand there like Goliath in the bay, waiting for the world to be torn asunder.”
“Goliath?” Asked Amy, “What bay? You have a small inlet, wide enough for a narrow boat. You never mentioned Goliath before, Goliath also has nothing to do with bays, water or anything.”
“Well this Goliath was in the bay. If I want a bay, I'll bloody well have a bay.” Came the rather terse reply from Andre before continuing before Amy could respond “Besides, I asked the planner, he said it can be done and it'll only cost a few hundred million to do.”
Amy sat on the other side of the table, idly rolling the die between her thumb and forefinger. Pondering her next move, wondering whether she should attempt to argue the point of continuity or not. It was always like this, he forgets where he was in the story and then just makes it up as he goes along. It was his way after all, the annoying thing is his insistence that the island should be modelled on what happens around this table, just in case he decides he wants to LARP the next game or not.
Last time she questioned him he took it well. He only banished her from Kem, demolished her home and put a no fly zone around the island for any helicopters for 2 months. Much less of a punishment than she had the first time at least. She still doesn't know where her parents ended up. Maybe they got paid off somewhere, maybe she didn't really care about that. Maybe.
“So, Andre, what's this I hear about you returning to wrestling? Didn't you give that up like 10 years ago?” Came a shrill, annoying voice from the other side of the room. Amy rolled her eyes. Millicent, “fucking Millie is here, great” she thought to herself. “Just what we need, Andre's money grabbing bitch of a wife who really only cares about what she gets from Andre and turns up here every few weeks to just argue with him about whatever she fancies.
Andre, busy with trying to figure out his plan for the bay and his giant Goliath statue ignored her. Millie, unfortunately is one of those types of people who don't take ignoring as any sort of answer. She's the kind of person who, on being ignored actively seeks out the most annoying sound from the pit of her stomach and the most harshly delivered sentences she can muster. Constantly. Until you get so fed up of it that you either want to drown out the noise with a jack-hammer or stand next to the speakers at a death metal concert cranking out full volume just so you are permanently deaf and you don't have to hear it anymore. This is one of those moments.
“DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME YOU STUPID WIZARD BANGING FOOL?” Amy was impressed, Millie sounded more shrill than usual. Maybe she'd been practising.
This was going to be good though, AJ going back into wrestling? He kept this one quiet. Maybe there is an area of mystery about him after all, and he isn't just this daft rich guy who loves being in a fantasy land. Maybe she had him wrong all this time.
“What? I'm going back to wrestling? When did this happen?”
Ah, no. Forgot. Standard.
“I READ THE WEBSITE, I KNOW THE CARD! YOU ARE GOING TO BE IN THE WAR MATCH? THE FUCK ANDRE, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!”
Andre finally looked up from the plans of the bay he had been working on with a massive smile on his face. He held the plans up proudly.
“Look, I am going to call it Celebration Bay. In celebration of the mighty adventurers of Kem and the alliance of the 29th legion defeating Goliath once and for all. It's going to be spectacular. The statue is over 100ft high!”
A rueful smile hit Amy's face at approximately the same time that a massive scowl hit Millie's. It was almost as if she fed off of Millie's anger and it gave her great joy. Actually, scratch that. It wasn't almost. Whenever Millie got angry, Amy loved it. Bitch.
“NEVER MIND THAT CRAP! WHY ARE YOU GOING TO” Millie checks the paper she's frantically waving in the air, “WCF? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?”
Andre shrugs off her verbal assault and generally looks nonplussed.
“No idea, let me check with Kyle, he might know.”
Millicent let out a massively over exaggerated sigh and sat down on a nearby chair, burning holes into Andre's head as he picks up the his phone.
“What number is Kyle again?” He asked
“Speed dial 1.” Came the answer, through a clenched jaw with all the malice Millie could muster.
“Right you are!” AJ said as he held the phone to his ear. After a brief pause, one that only lasted 10 seconds or so, but for all the comforts of the room Amy felt like it lasted at least 29 years. She hated tension like this. It was such a drag to her mood.
“Hi Ky. Ha! That rhymes! It's your imperial lord of Kem here, AJ....What do you mean you know?....What's caller ID?.....Fascinating.....Is that some sort of magic?......It does exist, at least in Kem......OK OK shut up for a second, what's this Millie is asking about Wrestling?....Oh....I see....Nope.....I did?.....In my safe?.......OK, thanks.......Yes, hot chocolate, thanks”
AJ put the phone down (which is weird because it's an iPhone and you don't really need to put them down, just press a button. AJ never really figured that out though. His ending the call with someone on the iPhone is putting the phone on a custom built unit that looks like an old corded telephone with a slot on the receiver that the iPhone fits in. Most of the time, the person on the other end stops the call, so he never figured out that he had to press the big red button. One time though some poor salesman was sitting there on the other end waiting for AJ to come back for 18 hours. He really needed his commission, either way, I digress.) The tension was unbearable as Millie burned metaphorical holes into AJ's skull with her eyes. Amy figured that she was figuring out just how best to kill him and hide the body. Amy had a feeling she wouldn't put him on a boat and set fire to it and send it over a waterfall, just how he'd want. Bitch.
“Right, so I apparently left a note to myself in my safe. That'll explain everything!”
AJ's safe security is state of the art. Lasers, deadlocks, Decryption that even the best cryptographers in the world can't get through and a bio-scanner so advanced that if Mystique from the x-men managed to get to it as AJ she still wouldn't be passing the scan.
It's a shame then, that he doesn't use it at all and the safe is always unlocked.
Inside, there was a stuffed brown envelope which AJ took and emptied on the table. The first thing you would notice is the thick file titled WCF. The second thing you would notice is a USB drive. The third thing you would notice, if you were the observant type was a bee. The bee is not relevant. It was just there. However, it does sting AJ at a later date and cause a few problems with itchy rashes and was most unpleasant.
AJ took the USB drive and attempted to insert it into his kindle, before Amy pointed out it should be his laptop that he needs to use. After a time he had sorted everything out and his own face appeared on the laptop screen.
“It's me! I wonder what I'm about to say!”
This time it was for Millie to roll her eyes, Amy smirked. Bitch. AJ for his part sat in rapt attention as if he was a child watching his favourite cartoon.
“Hi!” Said the AJ on the laptop, while waving. AJ waved back because, why not? “It's me, AJ. Well, should I say you, but from the past. You'll be wondering why I made this video. This video is probably being played because Millie has turned up and is causing a scene after she found out about your return to wrestling in which case you need to get her to watch this too.”
“You need to watch this Millie, that guy seems to know what's up.” Shouted up AJ
“THAT GUY IS YOU! YOU....”
“Shhh, there might be a plot twist” Amy chipped in, earning a laser style stare from Millie.
AJ (The one on film) continued. “So yeah, she's now watching. I guess. Simply put, I decided a few months ago that I should go broaden my horizons a little. Leave the island every now and then and generally get out and about. Well, I say I decided, it was more a joint decision with my therapist but let's not split hairs. So I instructed Kyle to go and contact a few organisations out there and facilitate this. Then, I ordered him to help me tape this video because he reminded me I'd forget about it.”
The AJ in the room nodded in agreement and pointed to the TV. “I did as well, I'm glad Kyle has the foresight for such things.”
“In the envelope you will find a dossier containing all the information you need about the organisation. With the wrestlers, management staff and shows all there with full scout reports on everyone and what has been happening. Kyle was very helpful. Your mission, should you choose to accept it is to read the dossier and get ready for WAR! This message will self destruct in 20 seconds”
AJ had picked up the dossier at this point and began to look through the photos and information Kyle had collected for him on WCF. Smoke began to belch out from the laptop.
“Ah, shame I put that self destruct in, listening to that again would have been helpful I think. I really didn't want to buy another laptop either.”
Millie's high pitched screech started up again, like a crescendo of cats on hot coals. Amy felt that it was getting to the point where Millie would crank it up and now do the whining thing until she felt satisfied. Bitch.
“THIS DOESN'T ANSWER ANYTHING, YOU CAN'T DO THIS, YOU PROMISED TO US THAT YOU WOULDN'T DO IT AGAIN AFTER YOU GOT RICH, YOU SAID THAT IT'D BE ME AND YOU FROM NOW ON, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO US”. Waaa waaaa waaa waaa and so on thought Amy. She really needed to get out of this environment as this argument was going to continue for a while. She quietly got up and picked up the dossier that AJ had put back on the table while he was listening to the verbal tirade and quietly left the room and made her way toward the second living room. Amy was quite impressed, she hadn't heard of a number of the terms that Millie was using. The woman could have such a filthy mouth when she got going. Bitch.
Looking through the dossier Amy had to admit that Kyle had done a good job. She had heard of none of the talent in the roster before, she wasn't really interested in wrestling, but Kyle clearly knew everything there was to know about everything.
From detailed reports about the new guys recruited at the same time as AJ to the mainstays of the organisation they were all there. From Patrilli to Adam Young to Bad News Benson all of them, their strengths, weaknesses and skills matched up against AJ's strengths, weaknesses and skills. AJ had his own profile, from when he used to wrestle. Somewhat surprisingly, AJ matched up well against most of them, at least according to Kyle.
“Hmm, he's going to be a dark horse it seems.” thought Amy as she was reading an excerpt from AJ's profile by Kyle.
“With a bit of luck and some application he might just pull this off. He's already been written off by some of the locker room as a joke, but maybe his skittish behaviour and unpredictability is an ace up his sleeve.” It said.
“Never say never” thought Amy. “Weirder things have happened. He has a chance at least and that's all he normally needs. Wonder if he has a manager”
“Goliath?” Asked Amy, “What bay? You have a small inlet, wide enough for a narrow boat. You never mentioned Goliath before, Goliath also has nothing to do with bays, water or anything.”
“Well this Goliath was in the bay. If I want a bay, I'll bloody well have a bay.” Came the rather terse reply from Andre before continuing before Amy could respond “Besides, I asked the planner, he said it can be done and it'll only cost a few hundred million to do.”
Amy sat on the other side of the table, idly rolling the die between her thumb and forefinger. Pondering her next move, wondering whether she should attempt to argue the point of continuity or not. It was always like this, he forgets where he was in the story and then just makes it up as he goes along. It was his way after all, the annoying thing is his insistence that the island should be modelled on what happens around this table, just in case he decides he wants to LARP the next game or not.
Last time she questioned him he took it well. He only banished her from Kem, demolished her home and put a no fly zone around the island for any helicopters for 2 months. Much less of a punishment than she had the first time at least. She still doesn't know where her parents ended up. Maybe they got paid off somewhere, maybe she didn't really care about that. Maybe.
“So, Andre, what's this I hear about you returning to wrestling? Didn't you give that up like 10 years ago?” Came a shrill, annoying voice from the other side of the room. Amy rolled her eyes. Millicent, “fucking Millie is here, great” she thought to herself. “Just what we need, Andre's money grabbing bitch of a wife who really only cares about what she gets from Andre and turns up here every few weeks to just argue with him about whatever she fancies.
Andre, busy with trying to figure out his plan for the bay and his giant Goliath statue ignored her. Millie, unfortunately is one of those types of people who don't take ignoring as any sort of answer. She's the kind of person who, on being ignored actively seeks out the most annoying sound from the pit of her stomach and the most harshly delivered sentences she can muster. Constantly. Until you get so fed up of it that you either want to drown out the noise with a jack-hammer or stand next to the speakers at a death metal concert cranking out full volume just so you are permanently deaf and you don't have to hear it anymore. This is one of those moments.
“DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME YOU STUPID WIZARD BANGING FOOL?” Amy was impressed, Millie sounded more shrill than usual. Maybe she'd been practising.
This was going to be good though, AJ going back into wrestling? He kept this one quiet. Maybe there is an area of mystery about him after all, and he isn't just this daft rich guy who loves being in a fantasy land. Maybe she had him wrong all this time.
“What? I'm going back to wrestling? When did this happen?”
Ah, no. Forgot. Standard.
“I READ THE WEBSITE, I KNOW THE CARD! YOU ARE GOING TO BE IN THE WAR MATCH? THE FUCK ANDRE, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!”
Andre finally looked up from the plans of the bay he had been working on with a massive smile on his face. He held the plans up proudly.
“Look, I am going to call it Celebration Bay. In celebration of the mighty adventurers of Kem and the alliance of the 29th legion defeating Goliath once and for all. It's going to be spectacular. The statue is over 100ft high!”
A rueful smile hit Amy's face at approximately the same time that a massive scowl hit Millie's. It was almost as if she fed off of Millie's anger and it gave her great joy. Actually, scratch that. It wasn't almost. Whenever Millie got angry, Amy loved it. Bitch.
“NEVER MIND THAT CRAP! WHY ARE YOU GOING TO” Millie checks the paper she's frantically waving in the air, “WCF? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?”
Andre shrugs off her verbal assault and generally looks nonplussed.
“No idea, let me check with Kyle, he might know.”
Millicent let out a massively over exaggerated sigh and sat down on a nearby chair, burning holes into Andre's head as he picks up the his phone.
“What number is Kyle again?” He asked
“Speed dial 1.” Came the answer, through a clenched jaw with all the malice Millie could muster.
“Right you are!” AJ said as he held the phone to his ear. After a brief pause, one that only lasted 10 seconds or so, but for all the comforts of the room Amy felt like it lasted at least 29 years. She hated tension like this. It was such a drag to her mood.
“Hi Ky. Ha! That rhymes! It's your imperial lord of Kem here, AJ....What do you mean you know?....What's caller ID?.....Fascinating.....Is that some sort of magic?......It does exist, at least in Kem......OK OK shut up for a second, what's this Millie is asking about Wrestling?....Oh....I see....Nope.....I did?.....In my safe?.......OK, thanks.......Yes, hot chocolate, thanks”
AJ put the phone down (which is weird because it's an iPhone and you don't really need to put them down, just press a button. AJ never really figured that out though. His ending the call with someone on the iPhone is putting the phone on a custom built unit that looks like an old corded telephone with a slot on the receiver that the iPhone fits in. Most of the time, the person on the other end stops the call, so he never figured out that he had to press the big red button. One time though some poor salesman was sitting there on the other end waiting for AJ to come back for 18 hours. He really needed his commission, either way, I digress.) The tension was unbearable as Millie burned metaphorical holes into AJ's skull with her eyes. Amy figured that she was figuring out just how best to kill him and hide the body. Amy had a feeling she wouldn't put him on a boat and set fire to it and send it over a waterfall, just how he'd want. Bitch.
“Right, so I apparently left a note to myself in my safe. That'll explain everything!”
AJ's safe security is state of the art. Lasers, deadlocks, Decryption that even the best cryptographers in the world can't get through and a bio-scanner so advanced that if Mystique from the x-men managed to get to it as AJ she still wouldn't be passing the scan.
It's a shame then, that he doesn't use it at all and the safe is always unlocked.
Inside, there was a stuffed brown envelope which AJ took and emptied on the table. The first thing you would notice is the thick file titled WCF. The second thing you would notice is a USB drive. The third thing you would notice, if you were the observant type was a bee. The bee is not relevant. It was just there. However, it does sting AJ at a later date and cause a few problems with itchy rashes and was most unpleasant.
AJ took the USB drive and attempted to insert it into his kindle, before Amy pointed out it should be his laptop that he needs to use. After a time he had sorted everything out and his own face appeared on the laptop screen.
“It's me! I wonder what I'm about to say!”
This time it was for Millie to roll her eyes, Amy smirked. Bitch. AJ for his part sat in rapt attention as if he was a child watching his favourite cartoon.
“Hi!” Said the AJ on the laptop, while waving. AJ waved back because, why not? “It's me, AJ. Well, should I say you, but from the past. You'll be wondering why I made this video. This video is probably being played because Millie has turned up and is causing a scene after she found out about your return to wrestling in which case you need to get her to watch this too.”
“You need to watch this Millie, that guy seems to know what's up.” Shouted up AJ
“THAT GUY IS YOU! YOU....”
“Shhh, there might be a plot twist” Amy chipped in, earning a laser style stare from Millie.
AJ (The one on film) continued. “So yeah, she's now watching. I guess. Simply put, I decided a few months ago that I should go broaden my horizons a little. Leave the island every now and then and generally get out and about. Well, I say I decided, it was more a joint decision with my therapist but let's not split hairs. So I instructed Kyle to go and contact a few organisations out there and facilitate this. Then, I ordered him to help me tape this video because he reminded me I'd forget about it.”
The AJ in the room nodded in agreement and pointed to the TV. “I did as well, I'm glad Kyle has the foresight for such things.”
“In the envelope you will find a dossier containing all the information you need about the organisation. With the wrestlers, management staff and shows all there with full scout reports on everyone and what has been happening. Kyle was very helpful. Your mission, should you choose to accept it is to read the dossier and get ready for WAR! This message will self destruct in 20 seconds”
AJ had picked up the dossier at this point and began to look through the photos and information Kyle had collected for him on WCF. Smoke began to belch out from the laptop.
“Ah, shame I put that self destruct in, listening to that again would have been helpful I think. I really didn't want to buy another laptop either.”
Millie's high pitched screech started up again, like a crescendo of cats on hot coals. Amy felt that it was getting to the point where Millie would crank it up and now do the whining thing until she felt satisfied. Bitch.
“THIS DOESN'T ANSWER ANYTHING, YOU CAN'T DO THIS, YOU PROMISED TO US THAT YOU WOULDN'T DO IT AGAIN AFTER YOU GOT RICH, YOU SAID THAT IT'D BE ME AND YOU FROM NOW ON, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO US”. Waaa waaaa waaa waaa and so on thought Amy. She really needed to get out of this environment as this argument was going to continue for a while. She quietly got up and picked up the dossier that AJ had put back on the table while he was listening to the verbal tirade and quietly left the room and made her way toward the second living room. Amy was quite impressed, she hadn't heard of a number of the terms that Millie was using. The woman could have such a filthy mouth when she got going. Bitch.
Looking through the dossier Amy had to admit that Kyle had done a good job. She had heard of none of the talent in the roster before, she wasn't really interested in wrestling, but Kyle clearly knew everything there was to know about everything.
From detailed reports about the new guys recruited at the same time as AJ to the mainstays of the organisation they were all there. From Patrilli to Adam Young to Bad News Benson all of them, their strengths, weaknesses and skills matched up against AJ's strengths, weaknesses and skills. AJ had his own profile, from when he used to wrestle. Somewhat surprisingly, AJ matched up well against most of them, at least according to Kyle.
“Hmm, he's going to be a dark horse it seems.” thought Amy as she was reading an excerpt from AJ's profile by Kyle.
“With a bit of luck and some application he might just pull this off. He's already been written off by some of the locker room as a joke, but maybe his skittish behaviour and unpredictability is an ace up his sleeve.” It said.
“Never say never” thought Amy. “Weirder things have happened. He has a chance at least and that's all he normally needs. Wonder if he has a manager”
