Post by Lawnmower Jones on Sept 2, 2006 10:27:17 GMT -5
(The scene opens with LJ being drug through the hall of the county jail by two police officers. One is an older, black man unknown to the viewing audience. The other is the same red head rookie cop who seems to be making a name for himself by messing with Jones. The kid has a malicious, creepy grin on his face.)
(Jones is somewhat trying to resist, although it's weak. He's still crying over the incidents earlier in the night. He passes an oak desk with an old computer on it, reaches his foot up, and kicks it. The two cops look back.)
Rookie Cop: That'll cost you, palooka.
(The room is musty, definately over 40 years old. The light's make it bright, and the dirty white tile on the floor lets the room a bit chilly. We see one cell, where a homeless man, dirty, is slouching on a wooden bench in the cell. His head is sideways, like he is passed out.)
(Jones passes a telephone, and scrambles to use it. He manages to break free and dial some buttons, unknown, and get the earpiece to his ear. The cops grab his legs and try to pull him away, but can't. Jones pry's onto the phone with all his might.)
LJ: I get one phone call! I get one phone call! I'm Jose Canseco!
(Jones' hold is finally relinqueshed, and the scene slowly fades to black as Jones screams.)
(The scene opens up with a shot of Jones in the cell with the homeless man. His head is down, buried in his hands. The homeless man is still in the same position.)
(Suddenly, we hear an opening of a cell door, and the older black cop is standing in the cell's doorway.)
BC: Alright Jones, make your damn phone call.
(The scene cuts to Jones at the phone. He begins to dial one number, but stops.)
LJ: If I call Lonnie, she won't talk to me. I'd better call Logan.
(Jones has a reassuring look on his face.)
Autamated Lady Voice: We're sorry, the number you are calling can not be completed. Please hang up. Beeeeeeeeeeeeep!
LJ: Hey Logan, it's Jones. I'm currently in jail and I was wondering if you had any of those get out of jail free cards from when we played Monopoly. If you could bring one, that would be nice. Thanks.
(Jones hangs up and is placed back in his cage. In the cell is a little tiny window, probably providing hope for all of whom who lay in this desolate island of solitude.)
(Jones looks out the window, gazing into the night. The night is filled with tiny little stars clustered together throughout the constalation. We see little lights from the street lights and nighlife going on. Jones sighs.)
LJ: Oh my lovely little kitten,
Why do you make me feel so smitten?
My pride is high,
Ego tough.
But with all the shit we go through,
I feel like it's enough
You're my one true love,
The dove, of my sky.
But sometimes I feel,
I'm not the only guy.
Your opinions, strong but radical.
Your thoughts, put me in a Sabbatical.
Your fiery engine gets me going.
Yet, I feel your omniscient-all knowing
Our love is strong,
Bond as hard as an erection.
I may hurt you,
But know it's my affection.
Not the whiskey,
Not the drinks.
Shit, you've made me forget
All of Devastation Inc!
(Jones sighs and looks down to the ground. Clappings are heard, and we see the homeless man is in full force.)
Homeless Man: That was touching. And trust me, I know touching.
LJ: (Not caring) Thanks.
Homeless Man: Who's Devastation Inc.?
LJ: (Looking down) My versers on Sunday.
(The Homeless Man pulls something out of his coat pocket. It's a sharp piece of wood, duct taped to a handle. He hands it to Jones, who examines it and puts it in his boot.)
Homeless Man: This should help. I always carry a shank to my big fights.
(Jones nods, agreeing. The Homeless Man pulls out a Harmonica and begins playing. Jones turns and gasps.)
Homeless Man: What?
LJ: I thought you looked familiar!
(The Homeless Man has a quizzical look on his face.)
LJ: You're Jon Bon Jovi!
(The Homeless Man gasps.)
Homeless Man: How did you know?
LJ: You're a musical genius. Are you in hiding?
(The man nods.)
LJ: (Whispering) Don't worry, I won't tell anyone!
(Jones extends his hand. The Homeless Man hesitantly accepts, and the scene fades to black.)
(The scene opens up with the two men talking.)
HM: So that's when I got crabs the second time. You should be aware kid, hookers aint nuns. They'll sleep with anyone.
(Jones nods his head approvingly.)
HM: So tell me about your Lonnie. She hot?
LJ: (Gazing forward) A babe. Curves in all the right places. I tell ya, she makes me blow my engine!
(Homeless Man shakes his head.)
HM: No no no! You're doing it all wrong!
LJ: What?
HM: You need to find yourself a fat slut. That way she's more submissive. You let a girl know she is beautiful, she'll start to walk all over you. It's classic man knowledge. I learned it while on tour with Ozzy in Aussie.
(LJ nods approvingly. He seems to be getting the bigger picture from Jon Bon Jovi, or the homeless man. The man pulls out a harmonica, and he begins playing.)
HM: I got a friend named Jones.
No, his name ain't Jenny.
But he did make a big mistake.
He spent a pretty penny!
On his girl, he thought she was the best,
Even better than the rest!
I don't need to tell that he was wrong!
Because now we're in jail, singing blues songs!
LJ: I got a big math this week!
With a couple of stupid geeks!
The new girl, who belongs in the kitchen,
After this match, she'll be wishing,
That's where she was
Because I'm going to make her feel like
Satan's Apprentice did when Kencedro
Was pounding him in the ass!
And who is this, Terry Cross?
Add another loss
For the dumb. For the weak.
For the stupid Devastation Inc!
HM: Sing it brotha!
LJ: Step inside, you're too late! You give love, a bad name!
(Jones and Bon Jovi begin rocking out. Suddenly, the cell door opens and Logan with the police officer stands in the doorway. Jones stops and smiles. Logan doesn't, he is obviously disappointed in Jones.)
LJ: Hey, Logan!
Logan: Jones, I had to use my last get out of jail free card. Couldn't you just wait three turns?
LJ: (Bowing head) Sorry.
Logan: Let's go.
LJ: What about my friend? Can he join the Team of Treachery?
Logan: No.
LJ: OK.
(The scene fades to black.)
(Jones is somewhat trying to resist, although it's weak. He's still crying over the incidents earlier in the night. He passes an oak desk with an old computer on it, reaches his foot up, and kicks it. The two cops look back.)
Rookie Cop: That'll cost you, palooka.
(The room is musty, definately over 40 years old. The light's make it bright, and the dirty white tile on the floor lets the room a bit chilly. We see one cell, where a homeless man, dirty, is slouching on a wooden bench in the cell. His head is sideways, like he is passed out.)
(Jones passes a telephone, and scrambles to use it. He manages to break free and dial some buttons, unknown, and get the earpiece to his ear. The cops grab his legs and try to pull him away, but can't. Jones pry's onto the phone with all his might.)
LJ: I get one phone call! I get one phone call! I'm Jose Canseco!
(Jones' hold is finally relinqueshed, and the scene slowly fades to black as Jones screams.)
(The scene opens up with a shot of Jones in the cell with the homeless man. His head is down, buried in his hands. The homeless man is still in the same position.)
(Suddenly, we hear an opening of a cell door, and the older black cop is standing in the cell's doorway.)
BC: Alright Jones, make your damn phone call.
(The scene cuts to Jones at the phone. He begins to dial one number, but stops.)
LJ: If I call Lonnie, she won't talk to me. I'd better call Logan.
(Jones has a reassuring look on his face.)
Autamated Lady Voice: We're sorry, the number you are calling can not be completed. Please hang up. Beeeeeeeeeeeeep!
LJ: Hey Logan, it's Jones. I'm currently in jail and I was wondering if you had any of those get out of jail free cards from when we played Monopoly. If you could bring one, that would be nice. Thanks.
(Jones hangs up and is placed back in his cage. In the cell is a little tiny window, probably providing hope for all of whom who lay in this desolate island of solitude.)
(Jones looks out the window, gazing into the night. The night is filled with tiny little stars clustered together throughout the constalation. We see little lights from the street lights and nighlife going on. Jones sighs.)
LJ: Oh my lovely little kitten,
Why do you make me feel so smitten?
My pride is high,
Ego tough.
But with all the shit we go through,
I feel like it's enough
You're my one true love,
The dove, of my sky.
But sometimes I feel,
I'm not the only guy.
Your opinions, strong but radical.
Your thoughts, put me in a Sabbatical.
Your fiery engine gets me going.
Yet, I feel your omniscient-all knowing
Our love is strong,
Bond as hard as an erection.
I may hurt you,
But know it's my affection.
Not the whiskey,
Not the drinks.
Shit, you've made me forget
All of Devastation Inc!
(Jones sighs and looks down to the ground. Clappings are heard, and we see the homeless man is in full force.)
Homeless Man: That was touching. And trust me, I know touching.
LJ: (Not caring) Thanks.
Homeless Man: Who's Devastation Inc.?
LJ: (Looking down) My versers on Sunday.
(The Homeless Man pulls something out of his coat pocket. It's a sharp piece of wood, duct taped to a handle. He hands it to Jones, who examines it and puts it in his boot.)
Homeless Man: This should help. I always carry a shank to my big fights.
(Jones nods, agreeing. The Homeless Man pulls out a Harmonica and begins playing. Jones turns and gasps.)
Homeless Man: What?
LJ: I thought you looked familiar!
(The Homeless Man has a quizzical look on his face.)
LJ: You're Jon Bon Jovi!
(The Homeless Man gasps.)
Homeless Man: How did you know?
LJ: You're a musical genius. Are you in hiding?
(The man nods.)
LJ: (Whispering) Don't worry, I won't tell anyone!
(Jones extends his hand. The Homeless Man hesitantly accepts, and the scene fades to black.)
(The scene opens up with the two men talking.)
HM: So that's when I got crabs the second time. You should be aware kid, hookers aint nuns. They'll sleep with anyone.
(Jones nods his head approvingly.)
HM: So tell me about your Lonnie. She hot?
LJ: (Gazing forward) A babe. Curves in all the right places. I tell ya, she makes me blow my engine!
(Homeless Man shakes his head.)
HM: No no no! You're doing it all wrong!
LJ: What?
HM: You need to find yourself a fat slut. That way she's more submissive. You let a girl know she is beautiful, she'll start to walk all over you. It's classic man knowledge. I learned it while on tour with Ozzy in Aussie.
(LJ nods approvingly. He seems to be getting the bigger picture from Jon Bon Jovi, or the homeless man. The man pulls out a harmonica, and he begins playing.)
HM: I got a friend named Jones.
No, his name ain't Jenny.
But he did make a big mistake.
He spent a pretty penny!
On his girl, he thought she was the best,
Even better than the rest!
I don't need to tell that he was wrong!
Because now we're in jail, singing blues songs!
LJ: I got a big math this week!
With a couple of stupid geeks!
The new girl, who belongs in the kitchen,
After this match, she'll be wishing,
That's where she was
Because I'm going to make her feel like
Satan's Apprentice did when Kencedro
Was pounding him in the ass!
And who is this, Terry Cross?
Add another loss
For the dumb. For the weak.
For the stupid Devastation Inc!
HM: Sing it brotha!
LJ: Step inside, you're too late! You give love, a bad name!
(Jones and Bon Jovi begin rocking out. Suddenly, the cell door opens and Logan with the police officer stands in the doorway. Jones stops and smiles. Logan doesn't, he is obviously disappointed in Jones.)
LJ: Hey, Logan!
Logan: Jones, I had to use my last get out of jail free card. Couldn't you just wait three turns?
LJ: (Bowing head) Sorry.
Logan: Let's go.
LJ: What about my friend? Can he join the Team of Treachery?
Logan: No.
LJ: OK.
(The scene fades to black.)
