Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2014 17:51:03 GMT -5
Tuesday
(Our favourite antipodean grappler, Mr. Brent Alpine, sits nervously on the aisle seat of a commercial airplane. The plane is grounded and take off is neigh. Far from flying in the luxury of first class, he is tightly packed into his seat and is nearly on top of a young boy and his mother. His height and muscular frame make him look downright conspicuous. As The Shine fidgets and looks around anxiously, the boy unashamedly stares on in suspicion. His mother tries to correct him for breaking social conventions but the child can't help but stare.)
Brent Alpine (twitchy): G'day.
(The mother smiles and nods but the boy continues to cast a stone face towards the TV Champion's direction. Suddenly, a voice is audible from seemingly out of nowhere.)
Voice: I can't see anything!
(Alpine begins to perspire and tremble. He coughs repeatedly; either to cover up the noise or signal to a certain someone that now is surely not the right time. The boy inspects around the seats but Alpine grabs his arms. Instinctively, the mother's eyes bulge out of her head and she immediately grabs Brent's wrists to restrain him.)
Brent Alpine: Sorry sheila. I thought he was going for my bags.
Mother: Why would he? Keep your hands off my kid.
Voice: Brent, where are you?!
(Both the mother and her son's eyes immediately dart to Alpine's black rucksack at his feet. He is mortified.)
Brent Alpine: Look out there - a spaceship!
(As the mother and the little boy gaze out of the window, Alpine unzips his hand luggage. From the rucksack, a piggy head pops out. It wheezes and oinks. Other passengers peer over. Alpine quickly zips Percy Micro back into the bag.)
Brent Alpine: SHHH!
(The mother and the son gaze back at Alpine in confusion and disappointment.)
Little Boy: Where's the spaceship?
Brent Alpine: My mistake, must've been a bird.
(A middle aged air stewardess comes over. Alpine kicks his rucksack further under the seat in front. He is a quivering mess for once.)
Air Stewardess: Sir, is everything OK?
Brent Alpine: Fine, fine.
Air Stewardess: It's just... well, we've had complaints of suspicious behaviour.
Brent Alpine (unconvincing): No worries here, all bonza.
Percy Micro: Brent! It's dark in here!
(Alarmed at the noise, the air stewardess goes straight for the bag. Alpine puts his body in the way and she ends up touching him in an intimate place. They are both flustered.)
Air Stewardess: I'm going to have to see the bag. Please.
Brent Alpine: What bag?
(He continues to obstruct her.)
Air Stewardess: WHAT IS IN THE BAG?!
Brent Alpine: Err... drugs! I mean, err, knives. No, I mean, err, porn. Books. That's it - a book. On err, origami if you must know. It's called 'The advantage of easy origami is twofold'.
(Cut. We reopen in an airport security office. Alpine is sat on a chair in handcuffs, being questioned by a burly enforcer of the law. Percy Micro eats an unknown substance from a cat bowl on the floor.)
Airport Cop: So you're telling me that this here pig talks and it's imperative that, as your manager, he travels with you to Colorado Springs?
Brent Alpine: Yeah mate. Tell him, Percy.
(They both turn their heads towards the micro pig. Silence. The cop strikes through a hand written note that says 'Terrorist?' and instead writes 'Insane?' on his assessment form.)
Airport Cop: How do you normally travel to shows?
Brent Alpine: I have a private jet but it's in repair. This is the first time in years I've had to travel with you common folk. How was I supposed to know that I needed special dispensation for Percy?
Airport Cop: I'm finding this hard to buy. You say you are part of the WCF?
(Alpine points to his belt which, along with his other possessions, is sprawled out on a table.)
Brent Alpine: TV Champion, mate.
Airport Cop: I've never heard of you.
Brent Alpine: Look drongo, I need to get to Colorado Springs. I'm wrestling on Slam this Sunday and my new mates in Sequitus will be waiting for me.
Airport Cop: Never heard of them, neither. Who will you be wrestling?
Brent Alpine: I don't know. No one's said yet.
(Another cop walks in to the office. He immediately lights up when he sees Brent and Percy.)
Airport Cop 2: BRENT ALPINE! PERCY MICRO! What are you doing here?
Airport Cop: You know this guy?
Airport Cop 2: Of course. He's one of the top new guys in wrestling. He and Cormack MacNeill are facing Steve Orbit and Jayson Price this Sunday!
Airport Cop: Now they I've heard of. Ok, let's let him go.
Airport Cop 2 (plotting): Well... I think... I need to question him first. I can handle this, get yourself some lunch.
Airport Cop: K, man.
(As the first cop leaves, the second drops any semblance of professionalism and MARKS OUT. He stares at Alpine in adoration.)
Brent Alpine: Did you say that we're facing Orbit and Price?
Airport Cop 2: Yeah, main event.
Brent Alpine: World Title on the line?
Airport Cop 2: No, your TV Title!
Brent Alpine: DAMNIT!
(Alpine slams his fist onto a nearby table.)
Airport Cop 2: It's a real honour, Brent.
Brent Alpine (bleary eyed): Can I go now mate?
Airport Cop 2: Just before I process your release and book you onto the next available flight, I need to ask you some exit questions.
(Alpine sighs in fatigue. Cut.)
(We reopen back in the security office. This time, both the cop and Alpine hold microphones. Brent has changed into his ring gear and appears much more awake. The cop obviously has makeup on and is much better groomed than before. Percy Micro sits obediently at Alpine's legs.)
Airport Cop 2: Hello WCF! My name is Jake Scrivens. I am joined by your TV Champion and newest member of Sequitus, 'The Shine' Brent Alpine! Brent, the question on everyone's lips is... why did you choose to join Sequitus?
Brent Alpine: Well dingo, I like that cause that they stand for. You know, the cause. It's a great cause. Just as good of a cause as feeding the poor and animal conservation.
Jake Scrivens: What cause? It seems their only cause is to bitch and cry at how they are being held back in WCF!
Brent Alpine: No, no, it's all about the cause.
Jake Scrivens: But it's not a good fit. You won the TV Title within 3 weeks of debuting. After less than two months, you're facing the World Champion and former champion in the main event of Slam. It's not as though you are being starved of opportunities...
Brent Alpine: Don't forget the cause! The Shine knows what it's like to be marginalised. It's a little different for me because I have been alienated all my life because of my sheer preeminence. Despite this, Sequitus and I are on the same side of the fence. I represent the hope of nations. I am the bastion of the suppressed uprising against the bourgeoisie. I am the voice of the people, the savior of the downtrodden, the liberator of the captives, the brethren to the poor (he adjusts his Rolex watch), the emissary of the victimised. Caliban, Ciserano and MacNeill have been cast away because they are kinda weird looking and are essentially the runts of the litter. I can't relate to that because I'm, frankly, breathtaking. However, the ruling elite of Pantheon are jealous of The Shine and will do everything in their measly power to blot out my light. In fact, I heard they banded together originally because they heard rumours that I would be heading to the WCF and were petrified.
Jake Scrivens: I don't get it. You said at the start of Timebomb that you would not be joining any stable. What changed your mind?
Brent Alpine: My tender heart just couldn't stop bleeding for Sequitus. They're lovable little blokes who were crying out for leadership and a ray of hope to truly burst through the glass ceiling.
Jake Scrivens: I thought Jordan Caliban had adopted the role of leader? He says he's the voice of Sequitus.
Brent Alpine: I'll let him have that. In my infinite mercy. Just like a dad might call his son 'chief', I'll humour him by calling him boss. He's alright is my mate Caliban. The good thing about all these guys is that they're moldable. They ain't too proud or rigid and I can train them up real quick.
Jake Scrivens: Percy Micro, what do you think about Brent joining Sequitus?
Brent Alpine: Don't say it, Percy.
Percy Micro: I'm afraid I must, sir. I would like to publicly go on record to express my disapproval at my cherished commodity joining Sequitus. Not only do I believe they will hold him back, I believe that Sequitus are heading into areas they shouldn't be trespassing.
Brent Alpine: So, in other words, Percy loves the idea! He'll come round. My ways are above earthy ways. I can see into the unseen realms. A lot of people might look at the rest of Sequitus and see a dirty Scotsman, a scabby Irishman and an uncooth New Yorker... but I see coals that I can render into diamonds!
Jake Scrivens: Sounds like a bad joke. A Scotsman, Irishman, New Yorker and an Australian walk into a ring...
(Silence.)
Jake Scrivens: Moving swiftly along, how do you feel about your upcoming tag match with Cormack MacNeill against new World Champion Steve Orbit and Jayson Price?
Brent Alpine: Who?
Jake Scrivens: You know who they are.
Brent Alpine: Might've vaguely heard of them.
Jake Scrivens: Is it nice to be in the main event with them?
Brent Alpine: I'm always in the main event. The only difference is that it's going on last in the show this time. Everyone knows that the Television Title is currently the most prestigious in the company. I haven't been pinned since coming to WCF. I haven't submitted. I haven't been disqualified or counted out. An absolutely flawless record.
Jake Scrivens: Except for Michael Lassiter on your debut.
Brent Alpine: He didn't defeat me, he defeated The Ultimate Destroyer. I was too busy being amazing to stop him. Anyway, where is Lassiter now? I heard the flamin' galah ended up having a nervous breakdown because he was worried I'd come to avenge him. As if I'd bother with small fries like that.
Jake Scrivens: But your pseudo undefeated streak looks in major jeopardy against two legends of the WCF including new World Champion Steve Orbit.
Brent Alpine: HAHAHAHAHA! I will be keeping my TV Title, pinning the World Champion and that's final. Everyone will go home happy. Cormack will taste victory and Orbit and Price will have a much higher profile, having stepped in the ring with The Shine. Win, win.
Jake Scrivens: You do realise that Price has been the WCF Grand Slam and Triple Crown Winner? He is the most decorated man in the company. Steve Orbit has been dominant for the last few years. He's had six title reigns including two World Titles. Do you know who you are dealing with?
Brent Alpine: All I know is that they are essentially John The Baptists. Their sole mission in the WCF is to prepare the way for 'The Shine' Brent Alpine. All the gold and accomplishments are meaningless and have been a meandering exercise in time filling until my appointed reign as cornerstone of the WCF. Anyway, who with any smidgen of logic can be impressed by so many title reigns? By implication, to be a two time champion means that they had to have lost it in the first place. Before my arrival in January, the quality of the WCF roster was markedly inferior. AND STILL they kept swapping titles like Johnny Deep swaps body fluids. All their accolades are simply Emperor's New Clothes.
Jake Scrivens: Forgive me but I don't get the impression you know Orbit or Price very well at all. That's crazy considering their stardom and legendary status.
Brent Alpine: I have no need to have those jobber drongos on my radar. I don't even have a radar, everything orbits - no pun intended - around me. They are only legends in their own lunchtimes and in the developmentally stunted minds of the WCF fans who are used to accepting pig slop on their plate and learning to enjoy the taste. No offence Percy.
Percy Micro: None taken, sir. Allow me to interject as I probably have more knowledge of Price and Orbit than you do. 'The Mack' Steve Orbit is a dangerous competitor who has used the shards of his broken past to propel him to success. The son of a prostitute whose murder was arranged by the pimp who raised him as his own. What I find curious, from a psychiatric perspective, is why he continues to gravitate to the world of prostitution and the seedy underworld. He clearly has a propensity to repeat the suffering of his past. Once bitten, never shy. While you, Mr. Alpine, are continuously renewing and growing, Orbit appears to be in a perpetual loop of ups and downs. This is why I am confident that The Shine has the edge. You are not burdened by the tentacles of the past, nor are you attracted to them. Considering your past is considerably more glorious than Orbit's, you have every right to linger there too often. However, you continually surge from success to success and it is as natural to you as breathing. Consistent perfection. At his best, Steve Orbit is clearly a talented individual but I deduce that he is far too unstable and mentally frail to maintain a level anywhere near as lofty as Brent Alpine.
Jake Scrivens: Tell me your assessment of Jayson Price, Percy.
Percy Micro: He relies on vulgarity and anger to cover up an intense self loathing and inadequacy complex. Just observe the filthy tattoos on his arm. He exposed himself to needles to punish and blemish his skin. I draw your attention to his frequent use of a four letter word beginning with F and the mysterious F-word movement which he keeps promoting but never explaining. The reliance on said word indicates an alarming deficiency in vocabulary and creativity. I detect severe stagnancy of his brain's Attentional Flexibility Network which has likely ensued from a traumatic experience of deep shame in his youth. In addition, his and Orbit's flaunting of their sexual conquests would seem to be symptomatic of a latent unexplored homosexuality. Although Price projects his anger and violent self hatred outwards to devastating effect, eventually it will corrode him from the inside. I have witnessed effects of this recently such as during his loss on Wednesday to Stacy Robinson and in recent matches against Benjamin Atreyu and your friend Cormack MacNeil.
Brent Alpine: Hey, did you hear that Price recently received an indecent proposal from a sixteen year old WCF groupie?
Jake Scrivens: No...
Brent Alpine: He had to disappoint her... they had sex!
Percy Micro: Indeed, all Price does is disappoint. He gets all fired up and always shoots his proverbial load too quickly. He lacks poise and runs on emotion. Emotion can take a man part of the journey but soon he will break down and burn out. That's what happened to Price last year when he retired. I conclude that he should've stayed in retirement and Mr. Alpine will give him the final prod he needs so he can put his feet up for good. A man with such a psychological profile is always vulnerable to depression and the inevitable blind spots that come from erratic, impulse driven focus.
Jake Scrivens: And how would you psychologically profile Brent's partner this Sunday, Cormack MacNeill?
Brent Alpine: Let me handle this, mate. Cormack is a genuine fighting machine with an unflinching will to win and the humility to never rest on his laurels. He can only get better with me at his side. I can bring him refinement and teach him some mat savvy. For instance, he absolutely decimated Jayson Price a month ago but his naivety cost him and Price used the ropes effectively. That ring nous is all Price has over Cormack right now. However, I know that my big bloody ripper has hundreds of superior qualities that Price can't even dream of.
Jake Scrivens: And what are your views on Pantheon?
Brent Alpine: A bunch of scared little drongo boys. They are like a group of inbred brothers who each want to snap up their sister because they enjoy dipping from the same honeypot and keeping it in the family. They are terrified that some jock will come from the outside and give that wench the supernova of thrills that they can't even imagine, never mind produce. If you didn't get the analogy mate, the wench is the upper echelons of the WCF, I am the jock and the supernova of thrills is this, right here, that you are blessed to be witness to.
Percy Micro: OK, we need to go now and get our new flight. Could you arrange that for us, Jake?
Jake Scrivens: Absolutely. You will of course be assigned first class seating. Both of you. I will also arrange transportation of your luggage to the plane. Come this way.
(Jake the Airport Cop leads Brent Alpine out of the security office and back into the main terminal building. Alpine is walking Percy Micro by lead with one hand and texting with the other. We see a close up of his phone.)
(Alpine shows Percy his phone.)
Brent Alpine: Aww, look at the affection between Cormack and I. Bless his tartan socks.
Percy Micro: What is with all the kisses at the end of your texts?
Brent Alpine: Hey, don't mock mate. Have you heard of Malcolm X? I heard he chose that name rather than admit he'd accidentally put a kiss at the end of a text message to another man. If it's good enough for him, it's good enough for me. Well, maybe not because I'm The Shine and I'm outrageously more influential than he was. Not to mention my outstanding work in race relations. Did you know I even had a black mate once? You know, I'm just a uber modern man with an open, progressive mind. Sometimes I utterly wow myself with my level of tolerance.
(They are guided to the boarding queue. Cut.)
(We reopen in a plush hotel lobby. Cormack MacNeill is sitting impatiently on a chair and shakes his head in disapproval as 'The Shine' Brent Alpine walks in with Percy Micro in tow. Alpine runs up to him and hugs him like a small child would hug a parent. Cormack moves away from him in discomfort.)
Brent Alpine: Forgive me for being late, Cormy Mac. Horrendous journey. No drama though. Stoked to see you mate. Love you man. I've missed you since Sunday.
Cormack MacNeil: Shall we get to business?
Brent Alpine: Hold up, dingo. Let's catch up a bit. How's it goin?
Cormack MacNeil: Didn't sleep a wink last night. I had some loud and obnoxious neighbours.
Brent Alpine: You should be used to that as a Scot-cum-Canadian.
(Completely oblivious to Alpine's sense of humour, Cormack focuses on Percy Micro.)
Cormack MacNeil: I see you brought the wee pig.
Brent Alpine: Of course! He's my manager. Our manager.
Cormack MacNeil: Did you not see your promo last week on TV? There's a whole team of people controlling Percy Micro from some lab place and they're reporting on you to an unknown boss. Did you know that your pet pig is being used as a proxy to spy on and influence you? He already tried to tell you not to join Sequitus. You have to ditch him, Brent. He doesn't have good intentions for us.
Brent Alpine: No worries. Percy Micro is a friend, not a foe. I know he isn't a real talking pig. I'm sure that whoever is controlling him are massive fans of The Shine who just want to get up close and personal. There's no malicious intent and Percy makes an exquisite manager, mate.
Cormack MacNeill: Alright. Let's keep vigilant. Speaking of which, let's get rolling.
(Cormack leads the way and they walk out the hotel together.)
(Our favourite antipodean grappler, Mr. Brent Alpine, sits nervously on the aisle seat of a commercial airplane. The plane is grounded and take off is neigh. Far from flying in the luxury of first class, he is tightly packed into his seat and is nearly on top of a young boy and his mother. His height and muscular frame make him look downright conspicuous. As The Shine fidgets and looks around anxiously, the boy unashamedly stares on in suspicion. His mother tries to correct him for breaking social conventions but the child can't help but stare.)
Brent Alpine (twitchy): G'day.
(The mother smiles and nods but the boy continues to cast a stone face towards the TV Champion's direction. Suddenly, a voice is audible from seemingly out of nowhere.)
Voice: I can't see anything!
(Alpine begins to perspire and tremble. He coughs repeatedly; either to cover up the noise or signal to a certain someone that now is surely not the right time. The boy inspects around the seats but Alpine grabs his arms. Instinctively, the mother's eyes bulge out of her head and she immediately grabs Brent's wrists to restrain him.)
Brent Alpine: Sorry sheila. I thought he was going for my bags.
Mother: Why would he? Keep your hands off my kid.
Voice: Brent, where are you?!
(Both the mother and her son's eyes immediately dart to Alpine's black rucksack at his feet. He is mortified.)
Brent Alpine: Look out there - a spaceship!
(As the mother and the little boy gaze out of the window, Alpine unzips his hand luggage. From the rucksack, a piggy head pops out. It wheezes and oinks. Other passengers peer over. Alpine quickly zips Percy Micro back into the bag.)
Brent Alpine: SHHH!
(The mother and the son gaze back at Alpine in confusion and disappointment.)
Little Boy: Where's the spaceship?
Brent Alpine: My mistake, must've been a bird.
(A middle aged air stewardess comes over. Alpine kicks his rucksack further under the seat in front. He is a quivering mess for once.)
Air Stewardess: Sir, is everything OK?
Brent Alpine: Fine, fine.
Air Stewardess: It's just... well, we've had complaints of suspicious behaviour.
Brent Alpine (unconvincing): No worries here, all bonza.
Percy Micro: Brent! It's dark in here!
(Alarmed at the noise, the air stewardess goes straight for the bag. Alpine puts his body in the way and she ends up touching him in an intimate place. They are both flustered.)
Air Stewardess: I'm going to have to see the bag. Please.
Brent Alpine: What bag?
(He continues to obstruct her.)
Air Stewardess: WHAT IS IN THE BAG?!
Brent Alpine: Err... drugs! I mean, err, knives. No, I mean, err, porn. Books. That's it - a book. On err, origami if you must know. It's called 'The advantage of easy origami is twofold'.
(Cut. We reopen in an airport security office. Alpine is sat on a chair in handcuffs, being questioned by a burly enforcer of the law. Percy Micro eats an unknown substance from a cat bowl on the floor.)
Airport Cop: So you're telling me that this here pig talks and it's imperative that, as your manager, he travels with you to Colorado Springs?
Brent Alpine: Yeah mate. Tell him, Percy.
(They both turn their heads towards the micro pig. Silence. The cop strikes through a hand written note that says 'Terrorist?' and instead writes 'Insane?' on his assessment form.)
Airport Cop: How do you normally travel to shows?
Brent Alpine: I have a private jet but it's in repair. This is the first time in years I've had to travel with you common folk. How was I supposed to know that I needed special dispensation for Percy?
Airport Cop: I'm finding this hard to buy. You say you are part of the WCF?
(Alpine points to his belt which, along with his other possessions, is sprawled out on a table.)
Brent Alpine: TV Champion, mate.
Airport Cop: I've never heard of you.
Brent Alpine: Look drongo, I need to get to Colorado Springs. I'm wrestling on Slam this Sunday and my new mates in Sequitus will be waiting for me.
Airport Cop: Never heard of them, neither. Who will you be wrestling?
Brent Alpine: I don't know. No one's said yet.
(Another cop walks in to the office. He immediately lights up when he sees Brent and Percy.)
Airport Cop 2: BRENT ALPINE! PERCY MICRO! What are you doing here?
Airport Cop: You know this guy?
Airport Cop 2: Of course. He's one of the top new guys in wrestling. He and Cormack MacNeill are facing Steve Orbit and Jayson Price this Sunday!
Airport Cop: Now they I've heard of. Ok, let's let him go.
Airport Cop 2 (plotting): Well... I think... I need to question him first. I can handle this, get yourself some lunch.
Airport Cop: K, man.
(As the first cop leaves, the second drops any semblance of professionalism and MARKS OUT. He stares at Alpine in adoration.)
Brent Alpine: Did you say that we're facing Orbit and Price?
Airport Cop 2: Yeah, main event.
Brent Alpine: World Title on the line?
Airport Cop 2: No, your TV Title!
Brent Alpine: DAMNIT!
(Alpine slams his fist onto a nearby table.)
Airport Cop 2: It's a real honour, Brent.
Brent Alpine (bleary eyed): Can I go now mate?
Airport Cop 2: Just before I process your release and book you onto the next available flight, I need to ask you some exit questions.
(Alpine sighs in fatigue. Cut.)
(We reopen back in the security office. This time, both the cop and Alpine hold microphones. Brent has changed into his ring gear and appears much more awake. The cop obviously has makeup on and is much better groomed than before. Percy Micro sits obediently at Alpine's legs.)
Airport Cop 2: Hello WCF! My name is Jake Scrivens. I am joined by your TV Champion and newest member of Sequitus, 'The Shine' Brent Alpine! Brent, the question on everyone's lips is... why did you choose to join Sequitus?
Brent Alpine: Well dingo, I like that cause that they stand for. You know, the cause. It's a great cause. Just as good of a cause as feeding the poor and animal conservation.
Jake Scrivens: What cause? It seems their only cause is to bitch and cry at how they are being held back in WCF!
Brent Alpine: No, no, it's all about the cause.
Jake Scrivens: But it's not a good fit. You won the TV Title within 3 weeks of debuting. After less than two months, you're facing the World Champion and former champion in the main event of Slam. It's not as though you are being starved of opportunities...
Brent Alpine: Don't forget the cause! The Shine knows what it's like to be marginalised. It's a little different for me because I have been alienated all my life because of my sheer preeminence. Despite this, Sequitus and I are on the same side of the fence. I represent the hope of nations. I am the bastion of the suppressed uprising against the bourgeoisie. I am the voice of the people, the savior of the downtrodden, the liberator of the captives, the brethren to the poor (he adjusts his Rolex watch), the emissary of the victimised. Caliban, Ciserano and MacNeill have been cast away because they are kinda weird looking and are essentially the runts of the litter. I can't relate to that because I'm, frankly, breathtaking. However, the ruling elite of Pantheon are jealous of The Shine and will do everything in their measly power to blot out my light. In fact, I heard they banded together originally because they heard rumours that I would be heading to the WCF and were petrified.
Jake Scrivens: I don't get it. You said at the start of Timebomb that you would not be joining any stable. What changed your mind?
Brent Alpine: My tender heart just couldn't stop bleeding for Sequitus. They're lovable little blokes who were crying out for leadership and a ray of hope to truly burst through the glass ceiling.
Jake Scrivens: I thought Jordan Caliban had adopted the role of leader? He says he's the voice of Sequitus.
Brent Alpine: I'll let him have that. In my infinite mercy. Just like a dad might call his son 'chief', I'll humour him by calling him boss. He's alright is my mate Caliban. The good thing about all these guys is that they're moldable. They ain't too proud or rigid and I can train them up real quick.
Jake Scrivens: Percy Micro, what do you think about Brent joining Sequitus?
Brent Alpine: Don't say it, Percy.
Percy Micro: I'm afraid I must, sir. I would like to publicly go on record to express my disapproval at my cherished commodity joining Sequitus. Not only do I believe they will hold him back, I believe that Sequitus are heading into areas they shouldn't be trespassing.
Brent Alpine: So, in other words, Percy loves the idea! He'll come round. My ways are above earthy ways. I can see into the unseen realms. A lot of people might look at the rest of Sequitus and see a dirty Scotsman, a scabby Irishman and an uncooth New Yorker... but I see coals that I can render into diamonds!
Jake Scrivens: Sounds like a bad joke. A Scotsman, Irishman, New Yorker and an Australian walk into a ring...
(Silence.)
Jake Scrivens: Moving swiftly along, how do you feel about your upcoming tag match with Cormack MacNeill against new World Champion Steve Orbit and Jayson Price?
Brent Alpine: Who?
Jake Scrivens: You know who they are.
Brent Alpine: Might've vaguely heard of them.
Jake Scrivens: Is it nice to be in the main event with them?
Brent Alpine: I'm always in the main event. The only difference is that it's going on last in the show this time. Everyone knows that the Television Title is currently the most prestigious in the company. I haven't been pinned since coming to WCF. I haven't submitted. I haven't been disqualified or counted out. An absolutely flawless record.
Jake Scrivens: Except for Michael Lassiter on your debut.
Brent Alpine: He didn't defeat me, he defeated The Ultimate Destroyer. I was too busy being amazing to stop him. Anyway, where is Lassiter now? I heard the flamin' galah ended up having a nervous breakdown because he was worried I'd come to avenge him. As if I'd bother with small fries like that.
Jake Scrivens: But your pseudo undefeated streak looks in major jeopardy against two legends of the WCF including new World Champion Steve Orbit.
Brent Alpine: HAHAHAHAHA! I will be keeping my TV Title, pinning the World Champion and that's final. Everyone will go home happy. Cormack will taste victory and Orbit and Price will have a much higher profile, having stepped in the ring with The Shine. Win, win.
Jake Scrivens: You do realise that Price has been the WCF Grand Slam and Triple Crown Winner? He is the most decorated man in the company. Steve Orbit has been dominant for the last few years. He's had six title reigns including two World Titles. Do you know who you are dealing with?
Brent Alpine: All I know is that they are essentially John The Baptists. Their sole mission in the WCF is to prepare the way for 'The Shine' Brent Alpine. All the gold and accomplishments are meaningless and have been a meandering exercise in time filling until my appointed reign as cornerstone of the WCF. Anyway, who with any smidgen of logic can be impressed by so many title reigns? By implication, to be a two time champion means that they had to have lost it in the first place. Before my arrival in January, the quality of the WCF roster was markedly inferior. AND STILL they kept swapping titles like Johnny Deep swaps body fluids. All their accolades are simply Emperor's New Clothes.
Jake Scrivens: Forgive me but I don't get the impression you know Orbit or Price very well at all. That's crazy considering their stardom and legendary status.
Brent Alpine: I have no need to have those jobber drongos on my radar. I don't even have a radar, everything orbits - no pun intended - around me. They are only legends in their own lunchtimes and in the developmentally stunted minds of the WCF fans who are used to accepting pig slop on their plate and learning to enjoy the taste. No offence Percy.
Percy Micro: None taken, sir. Allow me to interject as I probably have more knowledge of Price and Orbit than you do. 'The Mack' Steve Orbit is a dangerous competitor who has used the shards of his broken past to propel him to success. The son of a prostitute whose murder was arranged by the pimp who raised him as his own. What I find curious, from a psychiatric perspective, is why he continues to gravitate to the world of prostitution and the seedy underworld. He clearly has a propensity to repeat the suffering of his past. Once bitten, never shy. While you, Mr. Alpine, are continuously renewing and growing, Orbit appears to be in a perpetual loop of ups and downs. This is why I am confident that The Shine has the edge. You are not burdened by the tentacles of the past, nor are you attracted to them. Considering your past is considerably more glorious than Orbit's, you have every right to linger there too often. However, you continually surge from success to success and it is as natural to you as breathing. Consistent perfection. At his best, Steve Orbit is clearly a talented individual but I deduce that he is far too unstable and mentally frail to maintain a level anywhere near as lofty as Brent Alpine.
Jake Scrivens: Tell me your assessment of Jayson Price, Percy.
Percy Micro: He relies on vulgarity and anger to cover up an intense self loathing and inadequacy complex. Just observe the filthy tattoos on his arm. He exposed himself to needles to punish and blemish his skin. I draw your attention to his frequent use of a four letter word beginning with F and the mysterious F-word movement which he keeps promoting but never explaining. The reliance on said word indicates an alarming deficiency in vocabulary and creativity. I detect severe stagnancy of his brain's Attentional Flexibility Network which has likely ensued from a traumatic experience of deep shame in his youth. In addition, his and Orbit's flaunting of their sexual conquests would seem to be symptomatic of a latent unexplored homosexuality. Although Price projects his anger and violent self hatred outwards to devastating effect, eventually it will corrode him from the inside. I have witnessed effects of this recently such as during his loss on Wednesday to Stacy Robinson and in recent matches against Benjamin Atreyu and your friend Cormack MacNeil.
Brent Alpine: Hey, did you hear that Price recently received an indecent proposal from a sixteen year old WCF groupie?
Jake Scrivens: No...
Brent Alpine: He had to disappoint her... they had sex!
Percy Micro: Indeed, all Price does is disappoint. He gets all fired up and always shoots his proverbial load too quickly. He lacks poise and runs on emotion. Emotion can take a man part of the journey but soon he will break down and burn out. That's what happened to Price last year when he retired. I conclude that he should've stayed in retirement and Mr. Alpine will give him the final prod he needs so he can put his feet up for good. A man with such a psychological profile is always vulnerable to depression and the inevitable blind spots that come from erratic, impulse driven focus.
Jake Scrivens: And how would you psychologically profile Brent's partner this Sunday, Cormack MacNeill?
Brent Alpine: Let me handle this, mate. Cormack is a genuine fighting machine with an unflinching will to win and the humility to never rest on his laurels. He can only get better with me at his side. I can bring him refinement and teach him some mat savvy. For instance, he absolutely decimated Jayson Price a month ago but his naivety cost him and Price used the ropes effectively. That ring nous is all Price has over Cormack right now. However, I know that my big bloody ripper has hundreds of superior qualities that Price can't even dream of.
Jake Scrivens: And what are your views on Pantheon?
Brent Alpine: A bunch of scared little drongo boys. They are like a group of inbred brothers who each want to snap up their sister because they enjoy dipping from the same honeypot and keeping it in the family. They are terrified that some jock will come from the outside and give that wench the supernova of thrills that they can't even imagine, never mind produce. If you didn't get the analogy mate, the wench is the upper echelons of the WCF, I am the jock and the supernova of thrills is this, right here, that you are blessed to be witness to.
Percy Micro: OK, we need to go now and get our new flight. Could you arrange that for us, Jake?
Jake Scrivens: Absolutely. You will of course be assigned first class seating. Both of you. I will also arrange transportation of your luggage to the plane. Come this way.
(Jake the Airport Cop leads Brent Alpine out of the security office and back into the main terminal building. Alpine is walking Percy Micro by lead with one hand and texting with the other. We see a close up of his phone.)
(Alpine shows Percy his phone.)
Brent Alpine: Aww, look at the affection between Cormack and I. Bless his tartan socks.
Percy Micro: What is with all the kisses at the end of your texts?
Brent Alpine: Hey, don't mock mate. Have you heard of Malcolm X? I heard he chose that name rather than admit he'd accidentally put a kiss at the end of a text message to another man. If it's good enough for him, it's good enough for me. Well, maybe not because I'm The Shine and I'm outrageously more influential than he was. Not to mention my outstanding work in race relations. Did you know I even had a black mate once? You know, I'm just a uber modern man with an open, progressive mind. Sometimes I utterly wow myself with my level of tolerance.
(They are guided to the boarding queue. Cut.)
(We reopen in a plush hotel lobby. Cormack MacNeill is sitting impatiently on a chair and shakes his head in disapproval as 'The Shine' Brent Alpine walks in with Percy Micro in tow. Alpine runs up to him and hugs him like a small child would hug a parent. Cormack moves away from him in discomfort.)
Brent Alpine: Forgive me for being late, Cormy Mac. Horrendous journey. No drama though. Stoked to see you mate. Love you man. I've missed you since Sunday.
Cormack MacNeil: Shall we get to business?
Brent Alpine: Hold up, dingo. Let's catch up a bit. How's it goin?
Cormack MacNeil: Didn't sleep a wink last night. I had some loud and obnoxious neighbours.
Brent Alpine: You should be used to that as a Scot-cum-Canadian.
(Completely oblivious to Alpine's sense of humour, Cormack focuses on Percy Micro.)
Cormack MacNeil: I see you brought the wee pig.
Brent Alpine: Of course! He's my manager. Our manager.
Cormack MacNeil: Did you not see your promo last week on TV? There's a whole team of people controlling Percy Micro from some lab place and they're reporting on you to an unknown boss. Did you know that your pet pig is being used as a proxy to spy on and influence you? He already tried to tell you not to join Sequitus. You have to ditch him, Brent. He doesn't have good intentions for us.
Brent Alpine: No worries. Percy Micro is a friend, not a foe. I know he isn't a real talking pig. I'm sure that whoever is controlling him are massive fans of The Shine who just want to get up close and personal. There's no malicious intent and Percy makes an exquisite manager, mate.
Cormack MacNeill: Alright. Let's keep vigilant. Speaking of which, let's get rolling.
(Cormack leads the way and they walk out the hotel together.)
