Post by Tim on Feb 21, 2014 2:24:06 GMT -5
We are in front of the American Airlines Center, where no one has arrived yet. Staff are getting the arena prepared for the pay-per view, Timebomb. It's daytime and it's only Wednesday. Suddenly, epic music begins to play. The staff don't know what is going on and are curious to who's playing the music. They hear a loud voice. And an energetic voice that is.
?: YOUR HERO HAS ARRIVED!!!
The staff look in the right direction, to their awe as their jaws drop. A masked man in full black riding a white horse. With a party hat strapped to its head, it looks like a unicorn. To be honest, it looks badass because there was epic music playing in the background and it was a (not really) fuckin' unicorn. And in the middle, the unicorn-like horse stopped to let the masked man get off.
?: NOW OFF YOU GO!
He slapped the horse's ass.
Fake Unicorn: NEEEEEEEIIIGH!!!
With that, it bucked its legs and kicked him like Superman's punch, ending the epic music with a disc scratch. We all finally know that the unicron was a mare. He rolled on the ground like a rolling cheese puff. And landed safely into the middle.
?: Dat pony.
The masked man did a kip up that no other Bruce Lee could do. Then, he began to walk to the arena. One of the staff members were about to approach him.
Staff Member: Excuse me, sir. You can't just enter the arena without authorization.
60's Batman theme music played and the masked man began to walk towards the staff member. And...
BAM!
A haymaker to the face had left the pitiful staff to the ground, putting him in his place. The masked man looked down on him and pointed at him.
?: BITCH! I AUTHORIZED YOUR MOM LIKE THE WHORE SHE IS!
He took out a sheet of paper and faceplanted it on the staff member. The paper has a huge word that says 'ENDORPHIN'.
Endorphin: WCF contract! Not the real deal, but at least a copy of it. READ IT AND WEEP, MOTHERFUCKA!
He began to crumple it into a ball and shove it down his throat.
Endorphin: WHY DON'T YOU EAT ON THAT?!
He began to strut a boss because he is one.
He enters the arena with style, as people look at him with awe (or disgust. either works.). He looks at the match card for Timebomb.
Endorphin: Yeeeaaaahhhh....gonna check out this amazing match card. Hmmm....WOOOOH! I'M IN THE OPENER! THAT MEANS THAT I'M GONNA SET THIS BOMB OFF WITH THE CLOCK TICKING! YEAH! CHICKS ARE GONNA BE SUCKIN' MAH CLOCK AFTER I WIN THIS SHIT!
He takes out a huge chain clock from out of nowhere because logic is for pussies. Suddenly, he looks closer and begins to burst out laughing like a jackalass hyena.
Endorphin: WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE LOSERS?! HAH! THEIR NAMES MUST BE MADE BY A KINDERGARTEN STUDENT! I MEAN, LOOK!
He points at the name 'Khaos'.
Endorphin: Whoever uses 'K' to look cool must be a Mortal Kombat fanboy! I mean, it makes blue waffles look scarier! It makes the Bunnyman look like a badass! Look at it!
Endorphin: Character packaging like this should be outlawed. And what? He's unpredictable in the ring AND in day to day life. All I have to say is this. People watching this, hide your kids and hide your wives. He's gonna manhandle ya, if you know what I mean.
Long silence.
Endorphin: He's gonna beat you up! What were you thinking, you. Sick. FREAKS!
He points at another name.
Endorphin: Roscoe Shame. Yeah. He definitely lives up to his own name. This guy, is a shame to the entire earth. Sure...anyone who drops out of college can become a successful millionaire. Like Bill Gates! He invented Microsoft Windows or some shit like that. I don't give a fuck, I use a Mac. But this guy! He never finished school! Does he think he's too cool for skool?! Please! He can't even compare himself to these guys!
Endorphin: And he's probably offered to be the backup boy for XFL in general. And so who's next?
'Bryan Worthy'.
Endorphin: Fuck it. This guy isn't worthy to talk about at all.
He looks up.
Endorphin: IS THERE ANYONE HERE THAT CAN PROVIDE ME WITH A BETTER CHALLENGE?! WHY AM I STUCK WITH A BUNCH OF ASSCLOWNS?!
He kicks the trash can.
Endorphin: THIS ONE IS A MOUNTAIN FONDUE LANDSLIDE! AND I'M GONNA WIN IT!
He punches the camera as it lands on the floor, tilted. Then what's left of the angle shown is Endorphin attacking random staff members as the camera buzzes to static.
?: YOUR HERO HAS ARRIVED!!!
The staff look in the right direction, to their awe as their jaws drop. A masked man in full black riding a white horse. With a party hat strapped to its head, it looks like a unicorn. To be honest, it looks badass because there was epic music playing in the background and it was a (not really) fuckin' unicorn. And in the middle, the unicorn-like horse stopped to let the masked man get off.
?: NOW OFF YOU GO!
He slapped the horse's ass.
Fake Unicorn: NEEEEEEEIIIGH!!!
With that, it bucked its legs and kicked him like Superman's punch, ending the epic music with a disc scratch. We all finally know that the unicron was a mare. He rolled on the ground like a rolling cheese puff. And landed safely into the middle.
?: Dat pony.
The masked man did a kip up that no other Bruce Lee could do. Then, he began to walk to the arena. One of the staff members were about to approach him.
Staff Member: Excuse me, sir. You can't just enter the arena without authorization.
60's Batman theme music played and the masked man began to walk towards the staff member. And...
BAM!
A haymaker to the face had left the pitiful staff to the ground, putting him in his place. The masked man looked down on him and pointed at him.
?: BITCH! I AUTHORIZED YOUR MOM LIKE THE WHORE SHE IS!
He took out a sheet of paper and faceplanted it on the staff member. The paper has a huge word that says 'ENDORPHIN'.
Endorphin: WCF contract! Not the real deal, but at least a copy of it. READ IT AND WEEP, MOTHERFUCKA!
He began to crumple it into a ball and shove it down his throat.
Endorphin: WHY DON'T YOU EAT ON THAT?!
He began to strut a boss because he is one.
He enters the arena with style, as people look at him with awe (or disgust. either works.). He looks at the match card for Timebomb.
Endorphin: Yeeeaaaahhhh....gonna check out this amazing match card. Hmmm....WOOOOH! I'M IN THE OPENER! THAT MEANS THAT I'M GONNA SET THIS BOMB OFF WITH THE CLOCK TICKING! YEAH! CHICKS ARE GONNA BE SUCKIN' MAH CLOCK AFTER I WIN THIS SHIT!
He takes out a huge chain clock from out of nowhere because logic is for pussies. Suddenly, he looks closer and begins to burst out laughing like a jackalass hyena.
Endorphin: WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE LOSERS?! HAH! THEIR NAMES MUST BE MADE BY A KINDERGARTEN STUDENT! I MEAN, LOOK!
He points at the name 'Khaos'.
Endorphin: Whoever uses 'K' to look cool must be a Mortal Kombat fanboy! I mean, it makes blue waffles look scarier! It makes the Bunnyman look like a badass! Look at it!
Endorphin: Character packaging like this should be outlawed. And what? He's unpredictable in the ring AND in day to day life. All I have to say is this. People watching this, hide your kids and hide your wives. He's gonna manhandle ya, if you know what I mean.
Long silence.
Endorphin: He's gonna beat you up! What were you thinking, you. Sick. FREAKS!
He points at another name.
Endorphin: Roscoe Shame. Yeah. He definitely lives up to his own name. This guy, is a shame to the entire earth. Sure...anyone who drops out of college can become a successful millionaire. Like Bill Gates! He invented Microsoft Windows or some shit like that. I don't give a fuck, I use a Mac. But this guy! He never finished school! Does he think he's too cool for skool?! Please! He can't even compare himself to these guys!
Endorphin: And he's probably offered to be the backup boy for XFL in general. And so who's next?
'Bryan Worthy'.
Endorphin: Fuck it. This guy isn't worthy to talk about at all.
He looks up.
Endorphin: IS THERE ANYONE HERE THAT CAN PROVIDE ME WITH A BETTER CHALLENGE?! WHY AM I STUCK WITH A BUNCH OF ASSCLOWNS?!
He kicks the trash can.
Endorphin: THIS ONE IS A MOUNTAIN FONDUE LANDSLIDE! AND I'M GONNA WIN IT!
He punches the camera as it lands on the floor, tilted. Then what's left of the angle shown is Endorphin attacking random staff members as the camera buzzes to static.
