Post by Steve Orbit on Sept 26, 2013 19:14:39 GMT -5
WHY I LOVE YOU
[Scene opens outside Club Violet in Oakland, California. A sign outside reads "GRAND RE-OPENING -- OCTOBER 4TH". Inside the Club, we go into an office, where we find "The Mack" Steve Orbit. He's dressed casually-- a light blue Polo shirt, khaki pants and 'gator shoes, with his usual excessive amount of jewelry. He sits behind a desk, looking over some paperwork. After a few moments, his long time friend Tina walks into the office. She's a beautiful, shapely black girl in her late 20s-- her hair and nails are done up with style, and she's wearing a tight, white mini dress. Orbit invites her to take a seat-- she leans in and they exchange kisses on the cheek before she sits across from the desk.]
Steve Orbit: What's up, girl?
Tina: You tell me.
Steve Orbit: Ain't nothin', just tryin' to figure out what the fuck Joey was doin' with all this paperwork. I can't figure out these records for shit. I mean he's got receipts, bills... IOUs, I don't know how I'm ever gonna get this shit straightened out.
Tina: Don't you think you should have an accountant come and take a look at all this?
Steve Orbit: Hell nah, baby. I ain't payin' no pencil dick mother fucker to come in here and handle MY business. You know I don't get down like that.
Tina: Suit yourself...
[Tina notices a packet of papers on the desk with the WCF logo.]
Tina: By the way. You really goin' back to wrestling? Already?
[Orbit leans back in the chair, putting his hands behind his head. He swivels in the chair.]
Steve Orbit: I can't live like this, Tina. I ain't this mother fucker who sits behind the desk. It ain't me-- it don't feel right.
Tina: Yeah, but...
[Tina puts her head down.]
Steve Orbit: What is it?
Tina: I just thought you were gonna be around for the re-opening, and kinda, you know... help me out around here, at least until things get moving on their own.
Steve Orbit: You don't think you can handle it?
[Orbit grins.]
Tina: It's not that, it's just--
Steve Orbit: Don't worry about a thing. This Club is bigger than both of us. I got a whole team of mother fuckers comin' in to help you run this place, you ain't gonna have to do shit except point them in the direction you want them to go in. Everybody who I have lined up-- they understand that you have the final say on shit. When I ain't around, Tina is the top dog up in here. You're the general manager, you the boss. Listen-- you know the business, right?
Tina: Right, yeah.
Steve Orbit: Baby, you probably know more about how to run this place than I do. You the one who was really in there, workin' side by side with Joey while I was on the road with the WCF, you know what I'm sayin'? I'm confident that there is no one in this city that's more qualified to run this mother fucker than you are. Now, I understand you're nervous, that's to be expected. But you ain't gotta worry about shit, Tina. Besides, I'ma be here for the opening, and I'ma be here often. I'll have to travel on the weekends, but Monday through Friday, I plan on staying in Oakland at Joey's place-- beyond that, I'm a phone call away. You have my support, a hundred percent.
Tina: Ok.
Steve Orbit: Feel better?
Tina: A little, I guess.
Steve Orbit: Good, good.
[Tina motions towards the WCF packet on the desk, and looks at Orbit as if asking his permission.]
Steve Orbit: Go 'head, take a look.
[She picks up the packet and begins to flip through the pages.]
Tina: What's this all about? This everybody that you work with?
Steve Orbit: Yeah, it's basically the whole active roster.
Tina: You doin' your homework on these fools, huh?
Steve Orbit: I have to. I'm entering this match called WAR-- they have it once a year. It's basically everybody in the company fighting in one match for the World Title. Whoever wins the match is champion.
Tina: That sounds kinda... crazy.
[Orbit laughs.]
Steve Orbit: It is, it's crazy, it's fuckin' dangerous, it's... it's beautiful, and exciting. I can't wait. I couldn't sit on the sideline for this one, especially with the World title on the line. I have to do it.
Tina: I feel you.
Steve Orbit: You know what the funny thing is? Since I been gone, since I been takin' this break... I actually started to miss these mother fuckers. I love 'em. I love 'em all. We fight, we have our feuds, our disagreements-- but at the end of the day, these are my fam. I got nothin' but love for all of 'em.
[Tina looks a bit confused.]
Tina: Really? Isn't it like... competitive? Aren't you all supposed to hate each other?
Steve Orbit: Sure, it's competition, of course-- but you get to a point where you just doin' it for the love of the sport. That's where I'm at. I never have to wrestle another match in my life if I don't want to. I don't need the dough, you know that. I'm doin' this for the love, I'm doin' it to prove that I'm one of the best to ever grace a WCF ring. I want my spot in the Hall of Fame, and look-- winning WAR is like a golden ticket right in there. I'm goin' back there to take what's mine. I want the WCF World Title, and I want to beat the entire roster to get it. But I'm doin' it out of love-- not because I have a problem with nobody.
[Tina is still flipping through the packet.]
Tina: This is really interesting... tell me about some of these guys.
Steve Orbit: Well, who you lookin' at?
Tina: Right now I'm looking at the Internet Champion, Jordan Caliban.
Steve Orbit: Who? Let me see that.
[Tina passes the papers to Orbit.]
Steve Orbit: Internet Champion, huh? Wow. Good for him. I've seen this mother fucker, I watched all his podcasts and mother fuckin' blogs and vlogs and twits and whatever else they do on the Internet. He's got a big fuckin' mouth, that's for sure. I like that. He ain't afraid of nobody. Beatin' Eric Price in his third week-- not too shabby. Kinda reminds me of myself-- I made my bones by beating Nathan von Liebert in my first month for the Television title. A little more prestigious than the Internet title, but still, it's the same idea. I guess. Anyway, yeah, he found his niche in the Internet division, and that's cool. Matter of fact, I see a whole new generation of dudes that's gonna be in the WAR match-- guys that have been here a month or two.
[Orbit flips through the pages some more.]
Steve Orbit: Cormack MacNeill, Eli the Kid, Havok, Seifer Armstrong... here's another one, Lionheart... Jon Michaels, all this new blood. There's even three or four guys who are gonna make they big debut in the WAR match. I like that. Thing is, though, in the WCF, you gotta stick it out for a while before anyone pays attention to you. I see Caliban's name gettin' thrown around because he won a title, and he's on the right track because of that. That's how you make a name-- you beat somebody who's worth beating. But these other guys, we'll see how they turn out. Half of them will fade away within the next lil' bit. That's how it goes-- the WCF roster is like a revolving door sometimes. Once in a while, we get a rookie who sticks-- shit, everybody gotta be a mother fuckin' rookie at some point. Out of these guys, it looks like Caliban will be the one. Maybe Lionheart, it seems like he's gettin' courted by Sarah Twilight and Bravado, so he's gotta be worth somethin' in somebody's eyes.
Tina: You think any of 'em got a chance of winning the World title?
[Orbit laughs, before handing the papers back to Tina.]
Steve Orbit: Hell no. Rookie or not, none of those guys are good enough. Not with mother fuckers like me in there. I got love for 'em, though. I'll help out anyone whenever I can-- I'll give 'em pointers, I'll show 'em the ropes, you know what I'm sayin'? But as far as the WAR match, they ain't got a prayer. Zero chance. It's good experience, though, for real.
[Tina reads the papers some more.]
Tina: Matt Robinson-- he's a rookie too, yeah?
Steve Orbit: Yeah, this stupid mother fucker-- who brings they pregnant wife into the ring? Who fuckin' allows that to happen? I'll tell you what, Stacy, this goes out to you-- you seem like you need some direction, some guidance. How 'bout you leave that square who's puttin' your ass in the line of fire, how 'bout you ditch that sucker and come get some of this real shit. Come get down with some of this pimpin'. We'll take care of your kid, all that, I got plenty of babysitters in this mother fucker. Good girls. You need a real man, you need a real mother fucker.
[Tina tries not to laugh.]
Tina: You wrong for that, Steve.
Steve Orbit: It is what it is, girl. I call a spade a spade, it's just how I get down.
[Tina shakes her head, laughing, and continues looking through the papers.]
Tina: What about this guy-- John Barber? The "Florida Cracker"?
[Orbit laughs.]
Steve Orbit: The damn Florida Cracker. Ain't that some shit. The dude who said his name ain't got nothin' to do with race-- I get it, they say it with pride now. People who's family done lived in Florida since the founding, they call themselves crackers with pride. I get it. It's like you and me callin' each other nigga. Yeah, it don't mean shit now, but it's roots are racist all the way around. There ain't no way to deny that.
Tina: You think he's racist?
Steve Orbit: Hell no. I got love for him. He's a great example of a rookie who's really doin' his thing. He came in with humility, he's workin' his way up. He's got the Television title. That's a mother fucker who's on the right track, yo, for real. I ain't never been in the ring with him, but I've watched his ass. This is the type of dude who could win WAR... in 2015. Not now. Not yet. Not while mother fuckers like me are still around. Who else you got?
[Tina flips another page in the packet.]
Tina: Waylon Cash? He looks familiar.
Steve Orbit: Of course he looks familiar, you met him before. We was tag team partners-- Tag Team Champions, actually.
Tina: So y'all are cool?
[Orbit laughs.]
Steve Orbit: Nah, we ain't cool, not at all. This mother fucker lost his God damn mind. He turned on me, he jumped me about eleven times. He cost us the Tag titles. He cost me several opportunities after that with his interferin' ass. But I got him in the end, though-- it was a triple threat match for the World Title in July, and I won. I ain't pin his ass, but I won the match. And he's kept his mouth shut about me ever since. I think I put him in his mother fuckin' place when I won that match.
Tina: Why'd he turn on you?
Steve Orbit: He's a bitch, yo. For real. He went all soft and crybaby on a nigga. He wanted me to hold his hand throughout all of his personal issues. He wanted me to wipe the tears from his eyes and give him a fuckin' shoulder to cry on and some kleenex. I ain't about that shit. Men is men. I fight my own mother fuckin' battles, and I expected the same from him. Yeah, we was tag partners-- and we was friends, but I ain't about all that shit. I made the mistake of thinkin' he was a man, like myself, and thought he would be able to handle his own business. Turns out I was wrong, he ain't a man. He's a bitch, like I said. Since then, he been runnin' around with his master, Scott Savage, and his little group called Savage Political Action Committee, or S-PAC.
Tina: Yeah? Political Action, they runnin' for office or somethin'?
Steve Orbit: Who the fuck knows, he probably thinks it's clever-- I dunno. All I know is, Waylon always needs someone to look up to. He wants a man to stand beside him and make him feel good about himself, just like a bitch. He wants a mother fuckin' strong man like Scott Savage or his other master, Updegraff, to tell him "come here, beeyotch" and tell him exactly what the fuck to think and what to do. Just like a bitch. Honestly, the nigga can wrestle-- he can scrap, for real. And he's coked up half the time so you know he ain't feelin' shit, it's hard to keep him down. But I don't know how I ever got along with the mother fucker on a personal level. He's a sucker, through and through-- a squizzare. Hangin' around people like that is bad for my health.
Tina: What about the rest of his group? John Gable... aka John Gobble? And Benjamin Atreyu?
Steve Orbit: Truthfully, those are two mother fuckers who have unlimited potential, but they too stupid or up they own ass to use it properly. John Gable is one of the toughest guys I've ever faced-- he's a real talent in the ring. Atreyu, same thing-- I've lost several times to Benjamin Atreyu. I mean, these are two of the most talented mother fuckers in the company, but what are they doing with their lives? Hangin' around with Waylon Cash and Scott Savage, tryin' to make a stable out of a three man tag team? It's foolish, girl, for real. Either one of these guys could be on they own, breaking into the title scene. I would even say that Gable or Atreyu could be in the World Title scene if they would break away from the S-PAC, you know what I'm sayin'? I don't understand it. Look, people used to say the same shit about me-- they said Waylon was holdin' me back, they said Genesis held me back-- but I was always involved in a title scene. I always had a mother fuckin' direction that I was goin' in. These guys can't decide if they comin' or goin', and it's like... a waste, a waste of talent, a waste of time. It's sad. But I still got love for 'em-- even Waylon's hillbilly ass. He's just like one of those lil' kids who threw a fit on me. I love him like that, because I know he don't know no better. Atreyu and Gable, they both done had wins over me at one point or another-- I gotta love 'em for that. They taught me somethin' and they earned my mother fuckin' respect for that. But I know I can come back and beat either one of 'em whenever I want, so don't get it twisted though.
Tina: Sounds like you got some history with a lot of these people.
Steve Orbit: You God damn right-- you don't go a year and a half without crossin' paths with mother fuckers. It's the nature of the business.
[Tina continues to look through the packet of WCF papers.]
Tina: I see that list includes Odin Balfore, you noted it right here.
Steve Orbit: Oh yeah, my oldest rival in the WCF. The big, old dummy who think he some kinda idol, or some kinda legend. This nigga played me for a fool when I first came to the company-- I love him for that. He gets mad love for that. I thought he was interested in my talent-- the mother fucker just wanted a run with my Television title, that's why he was fuckin' with me. That's the only reason why he jumped me after I won, and that's the reason why he took me under his wing. I had what he wanted-- I was fresh, I was original, I was the mother fucker that people was talkin' about. I was the hot shit back in the summer of 2012, and he wanted a peice of that. You know why? Because his ass was played out, his career was on the down side, and mine was just comin' up. Everybody looked at it like, this dude Odin, who's established, is takin' this newcomer and breakin' him in-- nah, baby, it wasn't like that. It was like this. I was the newcomer who was givin' this played out mother fucker some relevance, I was keepin' him in the spotlight. What's he done since he was fuckin' with me? Zip zero, ain't done a damn thing. Atreyu carried his ass through a Tag title run. I mean, this is a former World champion, used to be the baddest mother fucker on the block, and he done sunk so low to the depths of mediocrity, that it was considered an UPSET when he came in second place at Ultimate Showdown this year. It was a shocker. And this used to be the top dude around here? Come on. That shows you exactly what's become of this fool, the big Bad Motha Fucka. I love him, though, I ain't got a hatin' bone in my body, y'all know that. But I eliminated his ass from WAR last year-- twice-- and I ain't got no problem doin' it again this year.
Tina: Wow. Hindsight is a mother fucker, ain't it? So what about this one. Odin's current tag partner, it says right here, Bobby Cairo.
Steve Orbit: THIS nigga. The thickness! That shit cracks me up every time. I got mad love for this mother fucker, Tina. It ain't nothin' but love. He's got a great story-- dude comes back from outta nowhere, and he's gonna beat everybody and win WAR... with the thickness. Let me tell you somethin', this baby nuts mother fucker with that little pecker that he's so proud of, he gonna get a wake up call like a mother fucker when he tries slangin' that thang around the ring and he bumps into me with it. I will SHAME that fool all the way back to Poo Guinea or wherever the fuck he stay at. Just another mother fucker who shoulda stayed where he was at, but he just gotta come back and bump his gums with his proper vocabulary and verbs, and nouns and all that shit. He can kiss my ass with all that shit, for real. Around here we real mother fuckers, we talk like real mother fuckers. We don't know that Harvard, Oxford shit. That's some real faggot shit. Got love for him, though, I got love for the thickness. Not like... you know, the actual thickness that he's talkin' about, but the idea? The joke? I can dig that. I'm proud of my shit too, I can relate. So I got love for him. Next.
Tina: The next one is another man who you noted as just coming back. Another one who you have some history with apparently, Jonny Fly? I think even I have heard of him before, and as you know I don't know shit about wrestling.
Steve Orbit: Oh man... save that one for later. I ain't ready for that yet. Skip that one. Who I got after that?
[Tina turns the page.]
Tina: Umm... Doc Henry? The Cock?
Steve Orbit: Yeah, naturally, that should be next after Cairo. Another old ass mother fucker talkin' about dick.
[Tina laughs.]
Steve Orbit: So, Doc Henry has been in the WCF since God knows when. He's probably been here longer, and done LESS, than anyone else in the company today. Doc Henry is a WCF staple, like clusterfuck matches and Seth losing ownership of the company. He's just there, and he ain't goin' nowhere. You see him on the card, sometimes he wins, sometimes he loses, but he never makes a splash. He collects his paycheck and keeps it movin'. I love him for that. Plus he got the best nickname out of all these mother fuckers. The Cock. Shit, I'ma ask him if I can adopt it when he dies-- "The Cock" Steve Orbit, it's got a ring to it. [laughs] I can't hate on that. He'll get lost in the mix of the WAR match, same as everything else he do. No doubt.
Tina: Looks like there's a bunch of these people who are just returning in time for WAR... Mr. Jack Happy?
[Orbit looks disgusted.]
Steve Orbit: Ugh. This man fed me the worst mother fuckin' burrito, or some kinda weird type of food I never seen before. It tasted like vomit-- and then it turnt into vomit. I get queasy every time I hear this dude's name, not to mention he's a fat fuckin' greaseball who look like he ain't shower since the third grade. With this scary ass. Gotta admit I got love for him, though-- he likes to fuck with people, and I dig that. I'm into it. He's a prankster, but he ain't no wrestler, he ain't no athlete. He's a sideshow freak, on the real.
Tina: Lookin' at his photo, I see what you sayin'-- how 'bout this other returning guy, Lilith?
Steve Orbit: Oh no baby, Lilith is a woman.
[Tina looks shocked. She brings the paper closer to her face.]
Tina: Damn. That's one ugly-ass ho.
Steve Orbit: Look, Lilith was cool when she first came to the WCF-- she was swingin' off of Phantasm's nutsack, she was suckin' on Ana Valentine's titty, in other words, she was aligning herself with the right people, and I love her for that. She positioned herself for success-- but she up and left, and who knows why? She ain't never really gave no proper explaination. Maybe we'll get it now, all this time later. I doubt it. My prediction? She'll come through for WAR, not really do shit in WAR, and then she'll be on her fuckin' way back to her job at Hot Topic 7/11 or wherever the fuck she came from. Y'all heard it here first.
Tina: No doubt. How 'bout these two boys right here-- looks like they a tag team or somethin'? "The Beast" Tyler Walker, and biohazard?
[Orbit laughs.]
Steve Orbit: Yeah, I love those guys. Not the same way they love each other-- but they entertaining. Every company needs a couple mother fuckers like that. They got the comic relief, they basically here to make everyone else look good. And a lot of these other guys, they need Walker and biohazard to make them look good, because they can't do that shit on they own. Not everybody can be a pimp like your boy, you know what I'm sayin'? I'm stayin' away from that ooze, though-- I dunno where that shit comes from, I dunno where that mother fucker's been, and some things are better left unknown. Next.
Tina: Speaking of tag teams, we got this other team called Angels of Destruction, right? Denise D'Evil and Night Rider?
Steve Orbit: Oh, sure. D'Evil, she's some kinda fraud ass Xena the Warrior Princess or somethin'. That show was cool, so it's all love. And speaking of shows, Night Rider? Hasselhoff? That nigga is pimpified if I ever seen one. You ever seen the mother fucker sing? You can hear the girls, you can hear the splash in they panties every time he sings, you know what I'm sayin'? I hear he's real big in Germany or Austria or one of them fuckin' Nazi ass countries, but the dude can pull bitches. So I love him for that, for sure, game recognize game. All day.
Tina: Wait... are you talking about David Hasselhoff or Night Rider?
Steve Orbit: Yeah, the show with the car... what?
[Orbit starts humming the Night Rider TV show theme.]
Steve Orbit: That shit's hot. I can't hate on that.
[Tina shakes her head, but moves along.]
Tina: And then Oblivion, he's an Angel of Destruction, right?
Steve Orbit: Nah, he ditched those fools. Oblivion is a beast. A real beast, not like Tyler Walker's juiced up ass. He's the Hardcore Champion, and that's where the fuck he belongs. Seven time Hardcore Champion. I ain't really the hardcore type of dude, you know what I'm sayin'? I can get down and dirty, don't get me wrong-- but I'm more into this shit for the competition, I ain't really in it because I'm thirsty for blood. I ain't tryin' to maim nobody, I just to pin a mother fucker and win me another World title. I got love for Oblivion, though, because he's into that shit. He's a hard mother fucker, I can respect that.
Tina: What about his chances of winning WAR?
Steve Orbit: I ain't feelin' it for Oblivion, girl. He's too much of a monster. He gonna go hard in the match, he'll wreck some havoc, but that's where it ends. I don't think he's really cut out to take all the different styles, all the different types of mother fuckers that's gonna be in the WAR match. He's more of a one trick dude. The Hardcore Title is his steez, that's his niche. So he oughta stay there and be happy with that.
[Tina turns another page.]
Tina: Damn... there's still a lot of pages in this thing. All these people are in the match?
Steve Orbit: Hell yeah, it's around forty. And only one can win. This is a big one right here. Let's keep it movin', what else you got?
[Tina is reading off of one of the pages.]
Tina: Wow... three-time WAR winner? This guy has gotta be great. Logan?
[Orbit sinks in his chair, and bangs his head on his desk. He groans.]
Steve Orbit: Ugh.
Tina: Feelings between y'all?
Steve Orbit: What you mean feelings? Why you sayin' it like that, what you tryin' to say girl?
[Tina looks confused.]
Steve Orbit: We got history, aight? Actually... you actually know this nigga. Remember that transvestite fuckin' pervert who showed up at Golden Spa? Caused all that ruckus?
[Tina looks closer at the paper, inspecting his picture.]
Tina: Daaaaamn, this boy looked better with the wig on.
[It's funny, but Orbit doesn't laugh.]
Steve Orbit: Yeah, there's a whole story about what happened after that incident... it's nothin' really, it's boring, y'all don't wanna hear it again.
Tina: I ain't never heard it.
Steve Orbit: Aight, here goes-- the dude thought he was a bitch, then he acted like a bitch and tried to get himself some of this dick, chased me around the mother fucker for a while, he smashed my Lamborghini with a baseball bat, then I whooped his ass in a half-naked match and he went to the mental institute. Done.
Tina: Ok...
Steve Orbit: Look, you wanna talk about Logan? I can't forgive that whole episode. I just can't. To me, he's always gonna be a transsexual who's tryin' to grab my shit-- I ain't never gonna be able to see him no other way. He's after my dick and I just can't give it to him like that, the Mack don't get down like that. On paper, in the history books, this mother fucker done accomplished more in the WCF than anyone else, period. He's the king, he deserves to call himself Mister WCF. He earned that shit, for real. So I love him for that, but I can't excuse him tryin' to put the rape down on me, you know what I'm sayin'? I can't get past it, girl.
Tina: That's weird. Here's another guy that's been in the WCF for a long time, Adam Young?
Steve Orbit: Yeah, that's a good follow up-- from the one who accomplished the most, to the one who accomplished the least. But he keep showin' up every week, and I respect that. I got love for him because he gets knocked the fuck out week after week, and he gets back up every time. Never once has it occured to him that maybe, just maybe he ain't cut out for this shit. He still think he's the best one out here, I like that. I dig that attitude. Fake it 'til you make it, right? But he gon' get got in the WAR match. At least his boys had the TV title for a hot minute. That's incredible for a guy like him.
[Tina continues looking through the packet.]
Tina: I'm back to Jonny Fly.
Steve Orbit: Tina, put him at the bottom of the pile. Do him last.
[Tina rearranges the papers.]
Steve Orbit: This ain't boring to you?
Tina: Nah, this is interesting. I thought these girls at the Club can talk-- but you got all the gossip on all these mother fuckers.
Steve Orbit: It's a workplace thing, you know. Everybody talk about everybody, except we do it in front of a camera instead of next to a water cooler-- anyway.
Tina: Alright... this next one-- actually, all these pages are clipped together with a note that says "Bravado". They a group or something?
Steve Orbit: Oh yeah. Bravo, Bravado. Bravely led by the queen bitch herself, Sarah Twilight.
Tina: Weren't y'all friends? Ain't she been here, to the Club before?
Steve Orbit: Friends? Nah. Sarah Twilight don't have friends. She might fooled a few people here and there, but I saw this sociopathic mother fucker comin' from a mile away. Sarah's the type of person who will do whatever it takes to get what she wants, and I respect that mentality-- I got love for that. I mean, she just played Eric Price like a damn ukulele, made him look like a fool. He IS a fool, but he ain't deserve all that. Fuckin' with Sarah is like fuckin' with a snake. She gon' bite yo' ass, it's just the way she is. I don't see why it was so shocking to everyone when she turned on Purse, when she supposedly turned on the fans and all that. She was never with the fans. She played a trick on everyone, that's all-- she put a spell on 'em, if we wanna get metaphorical and shit. But here's the thing about Sarah, yeah, she's cold-hearted. Yeah, she's brutal in the ring. But underneath... she is vulnerable. She's obviously afraid of what people think about her-- that's why she gotta control everything, that's why she can't get close to nobody, that's why she's so God damn scary. She don't wanna let nobody in, you know what I'm sayin'? That's why it freaked her out when I looked her in the eye and told her I ain't buyin' the act. She tried to destroy me for that, but can't nobody hold the Mack down.
Tina: Do you think she could win WAR?
Steve Orbit: Right now, she owns the company. She can do whatever the fuck she wants, she don't have to play by nobody's rules. She makes the rules... nah, scratch that, she done threw out all the rules. That's her style, it compliments her style. She'll do anything to win-- and yeah, she could win. But if she do, it'll be dirty. It'll be dirty as hell. She might murder somebody to win this match, she would go that far to get what she wants. I believe that.
Tina: Damn.
Steve Orbit: Yeah. And speaking of murdering people, she got Nathan von Liebert in her corner-- I think. He's... the mother fucker who beat me for the World title. He's going into WAR with the title. I'd love to sit here and say that he's guaranteed to lose it at WAR, but that shit ain't the truth. I never thought he could be me, but he did, and he did it with skill. He did it by out wrestling me-- he didn't stab me, he didn't snap my neck. He pinned me in the middle of the fuckin' ring. And I'ma tell you like this, that mother fucker earned my respect and love that night. I didn't even consider him a threat, I took him at face value-- a fuckin' scrub, a little dirty mother fucker who ain't never seen a bar of soap or some cologne, some mouthwash. A dude who ain't mentally stable enough to beat a clear-headed, focused nigga like me. But he proved me wrong, he proved that his talent is much more stable than his personality.
Tina: Sounds like you a little worried about him.
Steve Orbit: Do it sound like that? Look here, I need to get in the ring with him again. I NEED it. I'ma see him at WAR, and I'ma take his ass out. I'ma take from him that which he took from me, yo. I'm goin' back to the WCF, I'm goin' to WAR to be called the best once again. I ain't worried about Nathan, I ain't worried about nobody. I'ma see him there, let's leave it at that.
[Tina continues to look through the Bravado pages.]
Tina: What about Steeltoe Joe?
Steve Orbit: Man... Steeltoe Joe. This man went from one of the favorites, one of the most beloved wrestlers on the planet, to one of the most hated. He sold out, simple and plain. I used to look up to this mother fucker-- he was righteous. I said it before, but it's worth repeating. He reminded me of myself. He came out with a message that maybe ain't the most popular thing in the world to some people, but he said fuck that, I am who I am. He was who he was, and he ain't gonna change for nobody. But then... he did change. He changed for the worst, and I still don't see why. He had it so good when he was on the right side of things. He was so grounded, so focused. He was the greatest People's Champ of all time. And now? He's a fuckin' Bravado lackey. He went from being a shining light, to being a goon, sneakin' around behind Sarah Twilight's ass.
Tina: Wait... so, you ain't got no love for him?
Steve Orbit: It ain't like that. The boy can scrap, and he's hard headed-- maybe he stills reminds me of myself a little. He's still doin' whatever the fuck he wants to do. I gotta love him for that, I can't hate a man for doin' what he feels is the right thing, even if I don't agree with it. And straight up, I don't agree with the direction he's taken his career-- but he don't need my approval. Only God can judge his ass, and he knows that. I just hope he snaps out of it before it's too late, that's all.
Tina: I feel you. Next one is Gravedigger.
Steve Orbit: Digger is a legend, girl. A lot of mother fuckers walk around talkin' about they this and they that, but Gravedigger is for real. He's a real legend, and I love him for that. I don't know what he's doin' in the WAR match. He already won a damn WAR like thirty years ago, I think it was before I was born-- anyway. He's just a bad, cold dude. And he's talented, obviously... experienced, definitely. And this might sound cliche, but he's too God damn old to be in there with forty other guys. He's doin' big things outside the ring. He's runnin' WCF's developmental fed. Ain't nothin' wrong with that, he's still in the business. He belongs in the business. But he don't belong in no WAR match at sixty-five years old. The fuck outta here, man. Next.
Tina: Jonathan Jakobs?
Steve Orbit: Oh yeah, Jakobs. You know, on paper, he's a lot like me. We both had rough lives, we both from the 'hood-- and we both had the talent to get ourselves up out of poverty. I gotta love him for that. Any time I see a young black man like myself who makes somethin' out of himself, I'm proud of his ass, for real. But that's where the similarity ends between me and him. He done spent his whole damn career tryin' to, you know, use other people to propel himself into the main event scene. That's all he do, that's his MO, and he can't seem to shake it, you know what I'm sayin'? I had hopes for him when he came back this time around-- I actually helped bring him back to the WCF. But he ain't done shit but disappoint me, for real. He came back to be a forgettable member of Bravado? Come on, man. The mother fucker has mad potential, too. He's real talented-- a natural, gifted athlete. But he just can't get on the right track. I mean, shit, if he could pull of the WAR win, that would do it for him... but it seems like he don't really have the mind for it. He don't have the mental faculties to really reach out on his own and grab that shit and take it. Not like, you know, somebody like me, where I made my name off winning titles and beating the best competition out there. Ain't nobody holdin' that boy back but himself. I still got love for him though. One day he'll shine, maybe he just needs to mature a little bit.
[Tina flips to the next page and looks confused.]
Tina: Eric Price... you have him under Bravado, but it's crossed out, what's up with that?
[Orbit laughs.]
Steve Orbit: Yeah, it took me a while to put all that information together, and in this business... shit can flip upside down and rightside up again from week to week, you know what I'm sayin'? Eric Price, though... you know, I've always had mixed feelings about this mother fucker. On one hand, you have the hustler Eric Price, the man who built his own financial empire. The man who went from a mid-card staple in the WCF, to the longest World Title reign of the modern era, to owning the whole mother fucker, you know what I'm sayin'? MAD love for that. I respect that Eric Price, respect him to death. But the OTHER hand, you got the slimy, grimy Eric Price. The one who killed a hooker last year-- I ain't forget about that shit, and it still hurts me to think about it. The one who screwed over anyone and everyone at one time or another, and in the end, got screwed himself by his bride to be. I mean, what goes around comes around, and I hope he learned his fuckin' lesson right there. But at the end of the day, me and Eric Price have never really had no issue-- we been cool more than we be, you know, at odds. He's one to watch this year. He was runner up last year, and, I mean, he got the tools to win this year. I'ma be watchin' for his ass, and if I get the opportunity, I'ma make sure I take his ass out. Nothing personal, Eric, just business-- I know that's a concept that he understands well.
[Tina examines the packet, getting close to the bottom of the pile.]
Tina: Here's one with a funny name-- Deuce Maximus?
Steve Orbit: Deuce, hah. I don't really know nothin' about the mother fucker, but his name remind me of Deuce Bigalow. I love him for that. You seen that flick? The part with the fat bitch, and he's all like, "I think there's been a mistake" and the bitch says "did you say STEAK?" That shit gets me every time, man. I'ma go watch that again when we done here-- we almost done here, right?
Tina: Yeah. Let's keep it movin'. Tek?
Steve Orbit: Oh, mister Cold Blooded. The man behind the mask-- not to be confused with the Masked Man. I dunno what to say about Tek, really. I seen him breakdance, and I like that. My man's a b-boy, bringin' back my days in the 90s when we used to put the cardboard down and get busy with the boombox, so I got love for him for that. I wanna see the robot, to the headspin, to the boogaloo.
[Tina laughs.]
Steve Orbit: Really though, he ain't gonna win shit. Next?
Tina: Two guys right here... seems like they the only ones who you really marked down as being "allies". First one is Roy Speede.
Steve Orbit: Speedie... man, I dunno where to go with that. He been gone too long. I mean, they all come out the woodwork for WAR, that's what's up. He was my homeboy in Genesis-- one of the only mother fuckers who didn't stab me in the back, at least not yet. I got love for him for that. The dude's a competitor, he's a serious talent. I know one thing about Roy Speede-- he ain't never held that World Title, and he's due. Is now the time? With the way this WAR match is lookin', I doubt it. He'll get his shot-- he'll do nice in WAR, he'll make a great, cool comeback, he'll leave his mark, but I don't see him takin' it. I know who's next.
Tina: Frank Patrick Venable.
Steve Orbit: Yeah, he's the only other one who I still consider a friend out of Genesis. He was even in that last little group we tried out, and we still made it through that mess together. Frank is a former World Champion. Frank is a loyal dude, he's a good dude. He's like a brother to me-- we been cool for a long ass time. Frank, if you listenin', I got your back, homie, you know what I'm sayin'? I got mad love for FPV. When he wants to, he can be one of the best in the whole fuckin' world. Besides myself, he's one of the few that I would be happy with as a winner. I'd be proud of his ass, for real. Franky is my homeboy. Regardless, we'll be hookin' up in the future for sure.
Tina: Three left-- Jay Price, go.
Steve Orbit: Jay Price took a knockout punch for me at last year's WAR. Yo, I love him for that. I still don't know why he did it-- the nigga's crazy as hell. I found out just how crazy he was when we was workin' together in that last little experiment group we was in with FPV and them other boys. Now, he's coolin' out with some aliens-- I think he been eatin' that popcorn again, if you know what I'm sayin'. Jay Price is back, he might have extraterrestrial powers, and we should all be scared as hell. Shoulda left him locked up in that box, Freddy. He's on some X-Files shit right now, you know what I'm sayin'? But I got love for him, whether he lost his damn mind or not.
Tina: Ok... this one is confusing me. "The Masked Man", and then there's this long list of people he's attacked, or otherwise harassed over the past... year, almost? The fuck is up with that?
Steve Orbit: Look... I love the element of surprise, aight? I love him for that, whoever he turns out to be. I mean, it ain't exactly original-- people been puttin' on masks to try and make an impact, try to shock the world, people been doin' that. And this mother fucker, man, he just been hidin' behind the God damn mask for too long. He's drawed it out for too long. He's drawed it out to the point where there's no way he can possibly live up to his own hype. The nigga would have to be Jesus Christ himself, for real. Anyone less would be a disappointment in my book. In everyone's book. Jesus or... John Cena. Or Hulk Hogan, I guess. What if it's Ric Flair? WHOOOOO!
Tina: I doubt it's any of those people.
Steve Orbit: Me too, I'm just tryin' to make a point.
Tina: That leaves one...
[Orbit smiles.]
Steve Orbit: Jonny Fly. My man.
Tina: Yeah, what's the deal? Why save him for last?
Steve Orbit: Let me tell you why I love Jonny Fly more than anyone else in the company. It's not because of his talent as a wrestler, although he is undisputably one of the best wrestlers in history, period. It ain't because he dominated this company for almost the entire year of 2012. I respect him for all that, but look-- Jonny Fly is, besides Joey, the only mother fucker who ever really looked out for me, man. I don't mean we was hangin' out and good buddies and all that, that's not what I'm talkin' about. I've been in stables, I've had friends and acquaintances, people who I fuck with-- but earlier this year, Jonny Fly went out on a limb for my ass. He was the boss for a few months, and when he was, he challenged me to a match. Our first, and only, one-on-one match, and the deal was if I lost... I had to GET lost. I was fired if I couldn't beat him.
Tina: That's kind of a dick move--
Steve Orbit: Let me finish. He knew exactly what I needed. I don't know exactly why he did it-- but he knew I was better than how I was performing at the time. He knew I was coasting, he knew I wasn't giving a hundred percent every week. Even I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back, Fly was right. He was right about everything, and if he didn't push me to dig down into that place where I had to go, that place where I been ever since? I wouldn't have a World title to my name. This wouldn't be the stellar year that I'm having. I'd be doing fine, sure-- but I wouldn't be EXCELLING every single week. And I have Jonny Fly to partially thank for that. Another time, we ran into each other in Vegas, and we did a pimping competition-- through that, I met Havana, who became one of my good friends, someone who is very special to me. So in a way, I have to thank Fly for that as well.
Tina: Aight, but... do you think he's gonna win?
Steve Orbit: Shit... I dunno, Tina. I'm going in there to win-- I know I can win, but Fly is gonna be the hardest mother fucker to get rid of, let me put it to you like that. But if I comes down to it, and it's me and him-- I'll beat him again. I have to, yo. I ain't goin' back to lose... I can't lose. I want that WAR win, I want that World title.
[Tina puts the papers back in order and tosses the packet onto the desk.]
Steve Orbit: That's it?
Tina: That's the whole thing.
[Orbit looks at his watch.]
Steve Orbit: Aight, break's over. Back to work.
[Tina glares at Steve.]
Steve Orbit: What? I'm just playin'. But God damn, we been sittin' here for like an hour. We supposed to be going over plans for the grand re-opening.
Tina: I know.
[Orbit twirls a pencil between his fingers and looks deep in thought for a few moments. Tina checks her make-up in a pocket mirror.]
Steve Orbit: You wanna get some lunch?
Tina: Yeah, aight.
[Orbit and Tina get up and leave the office. Fade out.]
This week, people are gonna talk a lotta shit. That's a given, it's guaranteed. Everybody gonna be talkin' about everybody. That's what we do, every week we talk about our opponents. We try to imagine their weaknesses, we try to mentally prepare to compete-- and at the same time, we tryin' to get inside each other's mind. We tryin' to break each other's confidence. This week, we tryin' to psych ourselves up for... THE match. Some are calling it the biggest WAR ever. Look at some of the names I just talked about-- shit, look at ALL the names I just talked about. This is gonna be an incredible night for professional wrestling, no doubt.
So yeah, the locker room's gonna be talkin'. And they just might talk about me. I mean, I was the World Champ before Nathan. I'm a guy who's accomplished a lot in this company-- I don't need to tell you, y'all know. The fans know, I'm Steve Orbit. I been hot since my debut and I only got better. I only got smarter, and stronger. And more hungry to succeed. But despite all that, they gonna talk about me. They gonna say I was a lame World Champion, I lost it in my first defense. They gonna do some stereotype shit about pimps, thinkin' that shit had anything to do with me-- shit, maybe they'll throw in some borderline racist stuff. Wouldn't surprise me-- and it wouldn't upset me. One of the first things I learned about this business is that you can't let these words bother you. Most of the time, I don't even listen to what my opponent says about me before I get in the ring. What's the point? If anything, it's just gonna piss me off and make me wanna beat that ass even more.
Me? I talk my share of shit, I can't lie. I'm not the type of mother fucker to keep my mouth shut, but I'm not the type to talk shit for no reason, either. I don't have to talk a tough game. I have a record, a reputation that speaks for itself.
The point is this. Whether you like me, or you love me, or you hate me... I'm back for WAR, and I'm a serious contender. I'm a potential winner by anyone's estimation. So talk all you want about me. Pretend I ain't one of the best God damn wrestlers that's ever been employed by the WCF. Shit is gonna get real Sunday night-- and the reality is, I'm coming to WAR to win. I'm coming to beat everyone, and win my second World Title. I belong at the top of this company. Sunday, I'll show and prove. But remember this-- I love y'all. At the end of the day, y'all my people, man, y'all my family. And I'm comin' home.
"Even though y'all hate, I love y'all muh fuckas
Friend or foe, you're all my muh fuckas" - Jay-Z, "Hola Hovito"
[Scene opens outside Club Violet in Oakland, California. A sign outside reads "GRAND RE-OPENING -- OCTOBER 4TH". Inside the Club, we go into an office, where we find "The Mack" Steve Orbit. He's dressed casually-- a light blue Polo shirt, khaki pants and 'gator shoes, with his usual excessive amount of jewelry. He sits behind a desk, looking over some paperwork. After a few moments, his long time friend Tina walks into the office. She's a beautiful, shapely black girl in her late 20s-- her hair and nails are done up with style, and she's wearing a tight, white mini dress. Orbit invites her to take a seat-- she leans in and they exchange kisses on the cheek before she sits across from the desk.]
Steve Orbit: What's up, girl?
Tina: You tell me.
Steve Orbit: Ain't nothin', just tryin' to figure out what the fuck Joey was doin' with all this paperwork. I can't figure out these records for shit. I mean he's got receipts, bills... IOUs, I don't know how I'm ever gonna get this shit straightened out.
Tina: Don't you think you should have an accountant come and take a look at all this?
Steve Orbit: Hell nah, baby. I ain't payin' no pencil dick mother fucker to come in here and handle MY business. You know I don't get down like that.
Tina: Suit yourself...
[Tina notices a packet of papers on the desk with the WCF logo.]
Tina: By the way. You really goin' back to wrestling? Already?
[Orbit leans back in the chair, putting his hands behind his head. He swivels in the chair.]
Steve Orbit: I can't live like this, Tina. I ain't this mother fucker who sits behind the desk. It ain't me-- it don't feel right.
Tina: Yeah, but...
[Tina puts her head down.]
Steve Orbit: What is it?
Tina: I just thought you were gonna be around for the re-opening, and kinda, you know... help me out around here, at least until things get moving on their own.
Steve Orbit: You don't think you can handle it?
[Orbit grins.]
Tina: It's not that, it's just--
Steve Orbit: Don't worry about a thing. This Club is bigger than both of us. I got a whole team of mother fuckers comin' in to help you run this place, you ain't gonna have to do shit except point them in the direction you want them to go in. Everybody who I have lined up-- they understand that you have the final say on shit. When I ain't around, Tina is the top dog up in here. You're the general manager, you the boss. Listen-- you know the business, right?
Tina: Right, yeah.
Steve Orbit: Baby, you probably know more about how to run this place than I do. You the one who was really in there, workin' side by side with Joey while I was on the road with the WCF, you know what I'm sayin'? I'm confident that there is no one in this city that's more qualified to run this mother fucker than you are. Now, I understand you're nervous, that's to be expected. But you ain't gotta worry about shit, Tina. Besides, I'ma be here for the opening, and I'ma be here often. I'll have to travel on the weekends, but Monday through Friday, I plan on staying in Oakland at Joey's place-- beyond that, I'm a phone call away. You have my support, a hundred percent.
Tina: Ok.
Steve Orbit: Feel better?
Tina: A little, I guess.
Steve Orbit: Good, good.
[Tina motions towards the WCF packet on the desk, and looks at Orbit as if asking his permission.]
Steve Orbit: Go 'head, take a look.
[She picks up the packet and begins to flip through the pages.]
Tina: What's this all about? This everybody that you work with?
Steve Orbit: Yeah, it's basically the whole active roster.
Tina: You doin' your homework on these fools, huh?
Steve Orbit: I have to. I'm entering this match called WAR-- they have it once a year. It's basically everybody in the company fighting in one match for the World Title. Whoever wins the match is champion.
Tina: That sounds kinda... crazy.
[Orbit laughs.]
Steve Orbit: It is, it's crazy, it's fuckin' dangerous, it's... it's beautiful, and exciting. I can't wait. I couldn't sit on the sideline for this one, especially with the World title on the line. I have to do it.
Tina: I feel you.
Steve Orbit: You know what the funny thing is? Since I been gone, since I been takin' this break... I actually started to miss these mother fuckers. I love 'em. I love 'em all. We fight, we have our feuds, our disagreements-- but at the end of the day, these are my fam. I got nothin' but love for all of 'em.
[Tina looks a bit confused.]
Tina: Really? Isn't it like... competitive? Aren't you all supposed to hate each other?
Steve Orbit: Sure, it's competition, of course-- but you get to a point where you just doin' it for the love of the sport. That's where I'm at. I never have to wrestle another match in my life if I don't want to. I don't need the dough, you know that. I'm doin' this for the love, I'm doin' it to prove that I'm one of the best to ever grace a WCF ring. I want my spot in the Hall of Fame, and look-- winning WAR is like a golden ticket right in there. I'm goin' back there to take what's mine. I want the WCF World Title, and I want to beat the entire roster to get it. But I'm doin' it out of love-- not because I have a problem with nobody.
[Tina is still flipping through the packet.]
Tina: This is really interesting... tell me about some of these guys.
Steve Orbit: Well, who you lookin' at?
Tina: Right now I'm looking at the Internet Champion, Jordan Caliban.
Steve Orbit: Who? Let me see that.
[Tina passes the papers to Orbit.]
Steve Orbit: Internet Champion, huh? Wow. Good for him. I've seen this mother fucker, I watched all his podcasts and mother fuckin' blogs and vlogs and twits and whatever else they do on the Internet. He's got a big fuckin' mouth, that's for sure. I like that. He ain't afraid of nobody. Beatin' Eric Price in his third week-- not too shabby. Kinda reminds me of myself-- I made my bones by beating Nathan von Liebert in my first month for the Television title. A little more prestigious than the Internet title, but still, it's the same idea. I guess. Anyway, yeah, he found his niche in the Internet division, and that's cool. Matter of fact, I see a whole new generation of dudes that's gonna be in the WAR match-- guys that have been here a month or two.
[Orbit flips through the pages some more.]
Steve Orbit: Cormack MacNeill, Eli the Kid, Havok, Seifer Armstrong... here's another one, Lionheart... Jon Michaels, all this new blood. There's even three or four guys who are gonna make they big debut in the WAR match. I like that. Thing is, though, in the WCF, you gotta stick it out for a while before anyone pays attention to you. I see Caliban's name gettin' thrown around because he won a title, and he's on the right track because of that. That's how you make a name-- you beat somebody who's worth beating. But these other guys, we'll see how they turn out. Half of them will fade away within the next lil' bit. That's how it goes-- the WCF roster is like a revolving door sometimes. Once in a while, we get a rookie who sticks-- shit, everybody gotta be a mother fuckin' rookie at some point. Out of these guys, it looks like Caliban will be the one. Maybe Lionheart, it seems like he's gettin' courted by Sarah Twilight and Bravado, so he's gotta be worth somethin' in somebody's eyes.
Tina: You think any of 'em got a chance of winning the World title?
[Orbit laughs, before handing the papers back to Tina.]
Steve Orbit: Hell no. Rookie or not, none of those guys are good enough. Not with mother fuckers like me in there. I got love for 'em, though. I'll help out anyone whenever I can-- I'll give 'em pointers, I'll show 'em the ropes, you know what I'm sayin'? But as far as the WAR match, they ain't got a prayer. Zero chance. It's good experience, though, for real.
[Tina reads the papers some more.]
Tina: Matt Robinson-- he's a rookie too, yeah?
Steve Orbit: Yeah, this stupid mother fucker-- who brings they pregnant wife into the ring? Who fuckin' allows that to happen? I'll tell you what, Stacy, this goes out to you-- you seem like you need some direction, some guidance. How 'bout you leave that square who's puttin' your ass in the line of fire, how 'bout you ditch that sucker and come get some of this real shit. Come get down with some of this pimpin'. We'll take care of your kid, all that, I got plenty of babysitters in this mother fucker. Good girls. You need a real man, you need a real mother fucker.
[Tina tries not to laugh.]
Tina: You wrong for that, Steve.
Steve Orbit: It is what it is, girl. I call a spade a spade, it's just how I get down.
[Tina shakes her head, laughing, and continues looking through the papers.]
Tina: What about this guy-- John Barber? The "Florida Cracker"?
[Orbit laughs.]
Steve Orbit: The damn Florida Cracker. Ain't that some shit. The dude who said his name ain't got nothin' to do with race-- I get it, they say it with pride now. People who's family done lived in Florida since the founding, they call themselves crackers with pride. I get it. It's like you and me callin' each other nigga. Yeah, it don't mean shit now, but it's roots are racist all the way around. There ain't no way to deny that.
Tina: You think he's racist?
Steve Orbit: Hell no. I got love for him. He's a great example of a rookie who's really doin' his thing. He came in with humility, he's workin' his way up. He's got the Television title. That's a mother fucker who's on the right track, yo, for real. I ain't never been in the ring with him, but I've watched his ass. This is the type of dude who could win WAR... in 2015. Not now. Not yet. Not while mother fuckers like me are still around. Who else you got?
[Tina flips another page in the packet.]
Tina: Waylon Cash? He looks familiar.
Steve Orbit: Of course he looks familiar, you met him before. We was tag team partners-- Tag Team Champions, actually.
Tina: So y'all are cool?
[Orbit laughs.]
Steve Orbit: Nah, we ain't cool, not at all. This mother fucker lost his God damn mind. He turned on me, he jumped me about eleven times. He cost us the Tag titles. He cost me several opportunities after that with his interferin' ass. But I got him in the end, though-- it was a triple threat match for the World Title in July, and I won. I ain't pin his ass, but I won the match. And he's kept his mouth shut about me ever since. I think I put him in his mother fuckin' place when I won that match.
Tina: Why'd he turn on you?
Steve Orbit: He's a bitch, yo. For real. He went all soft and crybaby on a nigga. He wanted me to hold his hand throughout all of his personal issues. He wanted me to wipe the tears from his eyes and give him a fuckin' shoulder to cry on and some kleenex. I ain't about that shit. Men is men. I fight my own mother fuckin' battles, and I expected the same from him. Yeah, we was tag partners-- and we was friends, but I ain't about all that shit. I made the mistake of thinkin' he was a man, like myself, and thought he would be able to handle his own business. Turns out I was wrong, he ain't a man. He's a bitch, like I said. Since then, he been runnin' around with his master, Scott Savage, and his little group called Savage Political Action Committee, or S-PAC.
Tina: Yeah? Political Action, they runnin' for office or somethin'?
Steve Orbit: Who the fuck knows, he probably thinks it's clever-- I dunno. All I know is, Waylon always needs someone to look up to. He wants a man to stand beside him and make him feel good about himself, just like a bitch. He wants a mother fuckin' strong man like Scott Savage or his other master, Updegraff, to tell him "come here, beeyotch" and tell him exactly what the fuck to think and what to do. Just like a bitch. Honestly, the nigga can wrestle-- he can scrap, for real. And he's coked up half the time so you know he ain't feelin' shit, it's hard to keep him down. But I don't know how I ever got along with the mother fucker on a personal level. He's a sucker, through and through-- a squizzare. Hangin' around people like that is bad for my health.
Tina: What about the rest of his group? John Gable... aka John Gobble? And Benjamin Atreyu?
Steve Orbit: Truthfully, those are two mother fuckers who have unlimited potential, but they too stupid or up they own ass to use it properly. John Gable is one of the toughest guys I've ever faced-- he's a real talent in the ring. Atreyu, same thing-- I've lost several times to Benjamin Atreyu. I mean, these are two of the most talented mother fuckers in the company, but what are they doing with their lives? Hangin' around with Waylon Cash and Scott Savage, tryin' to make a stable out of a three man tag team? It's foolish, girl, for real. Either one of these guys could be on they own, breaking into the title scene. I would even say that Gable or Atreyu could be in the World Title scene if they would break away from the S-PAC, you know what I'm sayin'? I don't understand it. Look, people used to say the same shit about me-- they said Waylon was holdin' me back, they said Genesis held me back-- but I was always involved in a title scene. I always had a mother fuckin' direction that I was goin' in. These guys can't decide if they comin' or goin', and it's like... a waste, a waste of talent, a waste of time. It's sad. But I still got love for 'em-- even Waylon's hillbilly ass. He's just like one of those lil' kids who threw a fit on me. I love him like that, because I know he don't know no better. Atreyu and Gable, they both done had wins over me at one point or another-- I gotta love 'em for that. They taught me somethin' and they earned my mother fuckin' respect for that. But I know I can come back and beat either one of 'em whenever I want, so don't get it twisted though.
Tina: Sounds like you got some history with a lot of these people.
Steve Orbit: You God damn right-- you don't go a year and a half without crossin' paths with mother fuckers. It's the nature of the business.
[Tina continues to look through the packet of WCF papers.]
Tina: I see that list includes Odin Balfore, you noted it right here.
Steve Orbit: Oh yeah, my oldest rival in the WCF. The big, old dummy who think he some kinda idol, or some kinda legend. This nigga played me for a fool when I first came to the company-- I love him for that. He gets mad love for that. I thought he was interested in my talent-- the mother fucker just wanted a run with my Television title, that's why he was fuckin' with me. That's the only reason why he jumped me after I won, and that's the reason why he took me under his wing. I had what he wanted-- I was fresh, I was original, I was the mother fucker that people was talkin' about. I was the hot shit back in the summer of 2012, and he wanted a peice of that. You know why? Because his ass was played out, his career was on the down side, and mine was just comin' up. Everybody looked at it like, this dude Odin, who's established, is takin' this newcomer and breakin' him in-- nah, baby, it wasn't like that. It was like this. I was the newcomer who was givin' this played out mother fucker some relevance, I was keepin' him in the spotlight. What's he done since he was fuckin' with me? Zip zero, ain't done a damn thing. Atreyu carried his ass through a Tag title run. I mean, this is a former World champion, used to be the baddest mother fucker on the block, and he done sunk so low to the depths of mediocrity, that it was considered an UPSET when he came in second place at Ultimate Showdown this year. It was a shocker. And this used to be the top dude around here? Come on. That shows you exactly what's become of this fool, the big Bad Motha Fucka. I love him, though, I ain't got a hatin' bone in my body, y'all know that. But I eliminated his ass from WAR last year-- twice-- and I ain't got no problem doin' it again this year.
Tina: Wow. Hindsight is a mother fucker, ain't it? So what about this one. Odin's current tag partner, it says right here, Bobby Cairo.
Steve Orbit: THIS nigga. The thickness! That shit cracks me up every time. I got mad love for this mother fucker, Tina. It ain't nothin' but love. He's got a great story-- dude comes back from outta nowhere, and he's gonna beat everybody and win WAR... with the thickness. Let me tell you somethin', this baby nuts mother fucker with that little pecker that he's so proud of, he gonna get a wake up call like a mother fucker when he tries slangin' that thang around the ring and he bumps into me with it. I will SHAME that fool all the way back to Poo Guinea or wherever the fuck he stay at. Just another mother fucker who shoulda stayed where he was at, but he just gotta come back and bump his gums with his proper vocabulary and verbs, and nouns and all that shit. He can kiss my ass with all that shit, for real. Around here we real mother fuckers, we talk like real mother fuckers. We don't know that Harvard, Oxford shit. That's some real faggot shit. Got love for him, though, I got love for the thickness. Not like... you know, the actual thickness that he's talkin' about, but the idea? The joke? I can dig that. I'm proud of my shit too, I can relate. So I got love for him. Next.
Tina: The next one is another man who you noted as just coming back. Another one who you have some history with apparently, Jonny Fly? I think even I have heard of him before, and as you know I don't know shit about wrestling.
Steve Orbit: Oh man... save that one for later. I ain't ready for that yet. Skip that one. Who I got after that?
[Tina turns the page.]
Tina: Umm... Doc Henry? The Cock?
Steve Orbit: Yeah, naturally, that should be next after Cairo. Another old ass mother fucker talkin' about dick.
[Tina laughs.]
Steve Orbit: So, Doc Henry has been in the WCF since God knows when. He's probably been here longer, and done LESS, than anyone else in the company today. Doc Henry is a WCF staple, like clusterfuck matches and Seth losing ownership of the company. He's just there, and he ain't goin' nowhere. You see him on the card, sometimes he wins, sometimes he loses, but he never makes a splash. He collects his paycheck and keeps it movin'. I love him for that. Plus he got the best nickname out of all these mother fuckers. The Cock. Shit, I'ma ask him if I can adopt it when he dies-- "The Cock" Steve Orbit, it's got a ring to it. [laughs] I can't hate on that. He'll get lost in the mix of the WAR match, same as everything else he do. No doubt.
Tina: Looks like there's a bunch of these people who are just returning in time for WAR... Mr. Jack Happy?
[Orbit looks disgusted.]
Steve Orbit: Ugh. This man fed me the worst mother fuckin' burrito, or some kinda weird type of food I never seen before. It tasted like vomit-- and then it turnt into vomit. I get queasy every time I hear this dude's name, not to mention he's a fat fuckin' greaseball who look like he ain't shower since the third grade. With this scary ass. Gotta admit I got love for him, though-- he likes to fuck with people, and I dig that. I'm into it. He's a prankster, but he ain't no wrestler, he ain't no athlete. He's a sideshow freak, on the real.
Tina: Lookin' at his photo, I see what you sayin'-- how 'bout this other returning guy, Lilith?
Steve Orbit: Oh no baby, Lilith is a woman.
[Tina looks shocked. She brings the paper closer to her face.]
Tina: Damn. That's one ugly-ass ho.
Steve Orbit: Look, Lilith was cool when she first came to the WCF-- she was swingin' off of Phantasm's nutsack, she was suckin' on Ana Valentine's titty, in other words, she was aligning herself with the right people, and I love her for that. She positioned herself for success-- but she up and left, and who knows why? She ain't never really gave no proper explaination. Maybe we'll get it now, all this time later. I doubt it. My prediction? She'll come through for WAR, not really do shit in WAR, and then she'll be on her fuckin' way back to her job at Hot Topic 7/11 or wherever the fuck she came from. Y'all heard it here first.
Tina: No doubt. How 'bout these two boys right here-- looks like they a tag team or somethin'? "The Beast" Tyler Walker, and biohazard?
[Orbit laughs.]
Steve Orbit: Yeah, I love those guys. Not the same way they love each other-- but they entertaining. Every company needs a couple mother fuckers like that. They got the comic relief, they basically here to make everyone else look good. And a lot of these other guys, they need Walker and biohazard to make them look good, because they can't do that shit on they own. Not everybody can be a pimp like your boy, you know what I'm sayin'? I'm stayin' away from that ooze, though-- I dunno where that shit comes from, I dunno where that mother fucker's been, and some things are better left unknown. Next.
Tina: Speaking of tag teams, we got this other team called Angels of Destruction, right? Denise D'Evil and Night Rider?
Steve Orbit: Oh, sure. D'Evil, she's some kinda fraud ass Xena the Warrior Princess or somethin'. That show was cool, so it's all love. And speaking of shows, Night Rider? Hasselhoff? That nigga is pimpified if I ever seen one. You ever seen the mother fucker sing? You can hear the girls, you can hear the splash in they panties every time he sings, you know what I'm sayin'? I hear he's real big in Germany or Austria or one of them fuckin' Nazi ass countries, but the dude can pull bitches. So I love him for that, for sure, game recognize game. All day.
Tina: Wait... are you talking about David Hasselhoff or Night Rider?
Steve Orbit: Yeah, the show with the car... what?
[Orbit starts humming the Night Rider TV show theme.]
Steve Orbit: That shit's hot. I can't hate on that.
[Tina shakes her head, but moves along.]
Tina: And then Oblivion, he's an Angel of Destruction, right?
Steve Orbit: Nah, he ditched those fools. Oblivion is a beast. A real beast, not like Tyler Walker's juiced up ass. He's the Hardcore Champion, and that's where the fuck he belongs. Seven time Hardcore Champion. I ain't really the hardcore type of dude, you know what I'm sayin'? I can get down and dirty, don't get me wrong-- but I'm more into this shit for the competition, I ain't really in it because I'm thirsty for blood. I ain't tryin' to maim nobody, I just to pin a mother fucker and win me another World title. I got love for Oblivion, though, because he's into that shit. He's a hard mother fucker, I can respect that.
Tina: What about his chances of winning WAR?
Steve Orbit: I ain't feelin' it for Oblivion, girl. He's too much of a monster. He gonna go hard in the match, he'll wreck some havoc, but that's where it ends. I don't think he's really cut out to take all the different styles, all the different types of mother fuckers that's gonna be in the WAR match. He's more of a one trick dude. The Hardcore Title is his steez, that's his niche. So he oughta stay there and be happy with that.
[Tina turns another page.]
Tina: Damn... there's still a lot of pages in this thing. All these people are in the match?
Steve Orbit: Hell yeah, it's around forty. And only one can win. This is a big one right here. Let's keep it movin', what else you got?
[Tina is reading off of one of the pages.]
Tina: Wow... three-time WAR winner? This guy has gotta be great. Logan?
[Orbit sinks in his chair, and bangs his head on his desk. He groans.]
Steve Orbit: Ugh.
Tina: Feelings between y'all?
Steve Orbit: What you mean feelings? Why you sayin' it like that, what you tryin' to say girl?
[Tina looks confused.]
Steve Orbit: We got history, aight? Actually... you actually know this nigga. Remember that transvestite fuckin' pervert who showed up at Golden Spa? Caused all that ruckus?
[Tina looks closer at the paper, inspecting his picture.]
Tina: Daaaaamn, this boy looked better with the wig on.
[It's funny, but Orbit doesn't laugh.]
Steve Orbit: Yeah, there's a whole story about what happened after that incident... it's nothin' really, it's boring, y'all don't wanna hear it again.
Tina: I ain't never heard it.
Steve Orbit: Aight, here goes-- the dude thought he was a bitch, then he acted like a bitch and tried to get himself some of this dick, chased me around the mother fucker for a while, he smashed my Lamborghini with a baseball bat, then I whooped his ass in a half-naked match and he went to the mental institute. Done.
Tina: Ok...
Steve Orbit: Look, you wanna talk about Logan? I can't forgive that whole episode. I just can't. To me, he's always gonna be a transsexual who's tryin' to grab my shit-- I ain't never gonna be able to see him no other way. He's after my dick and I just can't give it to him like that, the Mack don't get down like that. On paper, in the history books, this mother fucker done accomplished more in the WCF than anyone else, period. He's the king, he deserves to call himself Mister WCF. He earned that shit, for real. So I love him for that, but I can't excuse him tryin' to put the rape down on me, you know what I'm sayin'? I can't get past it, girl.
Tina: That's weird. Here's another guy that's been in the WCF for a long time, Adam Young?
Steve Orbit: Yeah, that's a good follow up-- from the one who accomplished the most, to the one who accomplished the least. But he keep showin' up every week, and I respect that. I got love for him because he gets knocked the fuck out week after week, and he gets back up every time. Never once has it occured to him that maybe, just maybe he ain't cut out for this shit. He still think he's the best one out here, I like that. I dig that attitude. Fake it 'til you make it, right? But he gon' get got in the WAR match. At least his boys had the TV title for a hot minute. That's incredible for a guy like him.
[Tina continues looking through the packet.]
Tina: I'm back to Jonny Fly.
Steve Orbit: Tina, put him at the bottom of the pile. Do him last.
[Tina rearranges the papers.]
Steve Orbit: This ain't boring to you?
Tina: Nah, this is interesting. I thought these girls at the Club can talk-- but you got all the gossip on all these mother fuckers.
Steve Orbit: It's a workplace thing, you know. Everybody talk about everybody, except we do it in front of a camera instead of next to a water cooler-- anyway.
Tina: Alright... this next one-- actually, all these pages are clipped together with a note that says "Bravado". They a group or something?
Steve Orbit: Oh yeah. Bravo, Bravado. Bravely led by the queen bitch herself, Sarah Twilight.
Tina: Weren't y'all friends? Ain't she been here, to the Club before?
Steve Orbit: Friends? Nah. Sarah Twilight don't have friends. She might fooled a few people here and there, but I saw this sociopathic mother fucker comin' from a mile away. Sarah's the type of person who will do whatever it takes to get what she wants, and I respect that mentality-- I got love for that. I mean, she just played Eric Price like a damn ukulele, made him look like a fool. He IS a fool, but he ain't deserve all that. Fuckin' with Sarah is like fuckin' with a snake. She gon' bite yo' ass, it's just the way she is. I don't see why it was so shocking to everyone when she turned on Purse, when she supposedly turned on the fans and all that. She was never with the fans. She played a trick on everyone, that's all-- she put a spell on 'em, if we wanna get metaphorical and shit. But here's the thing about Sarah, yeah, she's cold-hearted. Yeah, she's brutal in the ring. But underneath... she is vulnerable. She's obviously afraid of what people think about her-- that's why she gotta control everything, that's why she can't get close to nobody, that's why she's so God damn scary. She don't wanna let nobody in, you know what I'm sayin'? That's why it freaked her out when I looked her in the eye and told her I ain't buyin' the act. She tried to destroy me for that, but can't nobody hold the Mack down.
Tina: Do you think she could win WAR?
Steve Orbit: Right now, she owns the company. She can do whatever the fuck she wants, she don't have to play by nobody's rules. She makes the rules... nah, scratch that, she done threw out all the rules. That's her style, it compliments her style. She'll do anything to win-- and yeah, she could win. But if she do, it'll be dirty. It'll be dirty as hell. She might murder somebody to win this match, she would go that far to get what she wants. I believe that.
Tina: Damn.
Steve Orbit: Yeah. And speaking of murdering people, she got Nathan von Liebert in her corner-- I think. He's... the mother fucker who beat me for the World title. He's going into WAR with the title. I'd love to sit here and say that he's guaranteed to lose it at WAR, but that shit ain't the truth. I never thought he could be me, but he did, and he did it with skill. He did it by out wrestling me-- he didn't stab me, he didn't snap my neck. He pinned me in the middle of the fuckin' ring. And I'ma tell you like this, that mother fucker earned my respect and love that night. I didn't even consider him a threat, I took him at face value-- a fuckin' scrub, a little dirty mother fucker who ain't never seen a bar of soap or some cologne, some mouthwash. A dude who ain't mentally stable enough to beat a clear-headed, focused nigga like me. But he proved me wrong, he proved that his talent is much more stable than his personality.
Tina: Sounds like you a little worried about him.
Steve Orbit: Do it sound like that? Look here, I need to get in the ring with him again. I NEED it. I'ma see him at WAR, and I'ma take his ass out. I'ma take from him that which he took from me, yo. I'm goin' back to the WCF, I'm goin' to WAR to be called the best once again. I ain't worried about Nathan, I ain't worried about nobody. I'ma see him there, let's leave it at that.
[Tina continues to look through the Bravado pages.]
Tina: What about Steeltoe Joe?
Steve Orbit: Man... Steeltoe Joe. This man went from one of the favorites, one of the most beloved wrestlers on the planet, to one of the most hated. He sold out, simple and plain. I used to look up to this mother fucker-- he was righteous. I said it before, but it's worth repeating. He reminded me of myself. He came out with a message that maybe ain't the most popular thing in the world to some people, but he said fuck that, I am who I am. He was who he was, and he ain't gonna change for nobody. But then... he did change. He changed for the worst, and I still don't see why. He had it so good when he was on the right side of things. He was so grounded, so focused. He was the greatest People's Champ of all time. And now? He's a fuckin' Bravado lackey. He went from being a shining light, to being a goon, sneakin' around behind Sarah Twilight's ass.
Tina: Wait... so, you ain't got no love for him?
Steve Orbit: It ain't like that. The boy can scrap, and he's hard headed-- maybe he stills reminds me of myself a little. He's still doin' whatever the fuck he wants to do. I gotta love him for that, I can't hate a man for doin' what he feels is the right thing, even if I don't agree with it. And straight up, I don't agree with the direction he's taken his career-- but he don't need my approval. Only God can judge his ass, and he knows that. I just hope he snaps out of it before it's too late, that's all.
Tina: I feel you. Next one is Gravedigger.
Steve Orbit: Digger is a legend, girl. A lot of mother fuckers walk around talkin' about they this and they that, but Gravedigger is for real. He's a real legend, and I love him for that. I don't know what he's doin' in the WAR match. He already won a damn WAR like thirty years ago, I think it was before I was born-- anyway. He's just a bad, cold dude. And he's talented, obviously... experienced, definitely. And this might sound cliche, but he's too God damn old to be in there with forty other guys. He's doin' big things outside the ring. He's runnin' WCF's developmental fed. Ain't nothin' wrong with that, he's still in the business. He belongs in the business. But he don't belong in no WAR match at sixty-five years old. The fuck outta here, man. Next.
Tina: Jonathan Jakobs?
Steve Orbit: Oh yeah, Jakobs. You know, on paper, he's a lot like me. We both had rough lives, we both from the 'hood-- and we both had the talent to get ourselves up out of poverty. I gotta love him for that. Any time I see a young black man like myself who makes somethin' out of himself, I'm proud of his ass, for real. But that's where the similarity ends between me and him. He done spent his whole damn career tryin' to, you know, use other people to propel himself into the main event scene. That's all he do, that's his MO, and he can't seem to shake it, you know what I'm sayin'? I had hopes for him when he came back this time around-- I actually helped bring him back to the WCF. But he ain't done shit but disappoint me, for real. He came back to be a forgettable member of Bravado? Come on, man. The mother fucker has mad potential, too. He's real talented-- a natural, gifted athlete. But he just can't get on the right track. I mean, shit, if he could pull of the WAR win, that would do it for him... but it seems like he don't really have the mind for it. He don't have the mental faculties to really reach out on his own and grab that shit and take it. Not like, you know, somebody like me, where I made my name off winning titles and beating the best competition out there. Ain't nobody holdin' that boy back but himself. I still got love for him though. One day he'll shine, maybe he just needs to mature a little bit.
[Tina flips to the next page and looks confused.]
Tina: Eric Price... you have him under Bravado, but it's crossed out, what's up with that?
[Orbit laughs.]
Steve Orbit: Yeah, it took me a while to put all that information together, and in this business... shit can flip upside down and rightside up again from week to week, you know what I'm sayin'? Eric Price, though... you know, I've always had mixed feelings about this mother fucker. On one hand, you have the hustler Eric Price, the man who built his own financial empire. The man who went from a mid-card staple in the WCF, to the longest World Title reign of the modern era, to owning the whole mother fucker, you know what I'm sayin'? MAD love for that. I respect that Eric Price, respect him to death. But the OTHER hand, you got the slimy, grimy Eric Price. The one who killed a hooker last year-- I ain't forget about that shit, and it still hurts me to think about it. The one who screwed over anyone and everyone at one time or another, and in the end, got screwed himself by his bride to be. I mean, what goes around comes around, and I hope he learned his fuckin' lesson right there. But at the end of the day, me and Eric Price have never really had no issue-- we been cool more than we be, you know, at odds. He's one to watch this year. He was runner up last year, and, I mean, he got the tools to win this year. I'ma be watchin' for his ass, and if I get the opportunity, I'ma make sure I take his ass out. Nothing personal, Eric, just business-- I know that's a concept that he understands well.
[Tina examines the packet, getting close to the bottom of the pile.]
Tina: Here's one with a funny name-- Deuce Maximus?
Steve Orbit: Deuce, hah. I don't really know nothin' about the mother fucker, but his name remind me of Deuce Bigalow. I love him for that. You seen that flick? The part with the fat bitch, and he's all like, "I think there's been a mistake" and the bitch says "did you say STEAK?" That shit gets me every time, man. I'ma go watch that again when we done here-- we almost done here, right?
Tina: Yeah. Let's keep it movin'. Tek?
Steve Orbit: Oh, mister Cold Blooded. The man behind the mask-- not to be confused with the Masked Man. I dunno what to say about Tek, really. I seen him breakdance, and I like that. My man's a b-boy, bringin' back my days in the 90s when we used to put the cardboard down and get busy with the boombox, so I got love for him for that. I wanna see the robot, to the headspin, to the boogaloo.
[Tina laughs.]
Steve Orbit: Really though, he ain't gonna win shit. Next?
Tina: Two guys right here... seems like they the only ones who you really marked down as being "allies". First one is Roy Speede.
Steve Orbit: Speedie... man, I dunno where to go with that. He been gone too long. I mean, they all come out the woodwork for WAR, that's what's up. He was my homeboy in Genesis-- one of the only mother fuckers who didn't stab me in the back, at least not yet. I got love for him for that. The dude's a competitor, he's a serious talent. I know one thing about Roy Speede-- he ain't never held that World Title, and he's due. Is now the time? With the way this WAR match is lookin', I doubt it. He'll get his shot-- he'll do nice in WAR, he'll make a great, cool comeback, he'll leave his mark, but I don't see him takin' it. I know who's next.
Tina: Frank Patrick Venable.
Steve Orbit: Yeah, he's the only other one who I still consider a friend out of Genesis. He was even in that last little group we tried out, and we still made it through that mess together. Frank is a former World Champion. Frank is a loyal dude, he's a good dude. He's like a brother to me-- we been cool for a long ass time. Frank, if you listenin', I got your back, homie, you know what I'm sayin'? I got mad love for FPV. When he wants to, he can be one of the best in the whole fuckin' world. Besides myself, he's one of the few that I would be happy with as a winner. I'd be proud of his ass, for real. Franky is my homeboy. Regardless, we'll be hookin' up in the future for sure.
Tina: Three left-- Jay Price, go.
Steve Orbit: Jay Price took a knockout punch for me at last year's WAR. Yo, I love him for that. I still don't know why he did it-- the nigga's crazy as hell. I found out just how crazy he was when we was workin' together in that last little experiment group we was in with FPV and them other boys. Now, he's coolin' out with some aliens-- I think he been eatin' that popcorn again, if you know what I'm sayin'. Jay Price is back, he might have extraterrestrial powers, and we should all be scared as hell. Shoulda left him locked up in that box, Freddy. He's on some X-Files shit right now, you know what I'm sayin'? But I got love for him, whether he lost his damn mind or not.
Tina: Ok... this one is confusing me. "The Masked Man", and then there's this long list of people he's attacked, or otherwise harassed over the past... year, almost? The fuck is up with that?
Steve Orbit: Look... I love the element of surprise, aight? I love him for that, whoever he turns out to be. I mean, it ain't exactly original-- people been puttin' on masks to try and make an impact, try to shock the world, people been doin' that. And this mother fucker, man, he just been hidin' behind the God damn mask for too long. He's drawed it out for too long. He's drawed it out to the point where there's no way he can possibly live up to his own hype. The nigga would have to be Jesus Christ himself, for real. Anyone less would be a disappointment in my book. In everyone's book. Jesus or... John Cena. Or Hulk Hogan, I guess. What if it's Ric Flair? WHOOOOO!
Tina: I doubt it's any of those people.
Steve Orbit: Me too, I'm just tryin' to make a point.
Tina: That leaves one...
[Orbit smiles.]
Steve Orbit: Jonny Fly. My man.
Tina: Yeah, what's the deal? Why save him for last?
Steve Orbit: Let me tell you why I love Jonny Fly more than anyone else in the company. It's not because of his talent as a wrestler, although he is undisputably one of the best wrestlers in history, period. It ain't because he dominated this company for almost the entire year of 2012. I respect him for all that, but look-- Jonny Fly is, besides Joey, the only mother fucker who ever really looked out for me, man. I don't mean we was hangin' out and good buddies and all that, that's not what I'm talkin' about. I've been in stables, I've had friends and acquaintances, people who I fuck with-- but earlier this year, Jonny Fly went out on a limb for my ass. He was the boss for a few months, and when he was, he challenged me to a match. Our first, and only, one-on-one match, and the deal was if I lost... I had to GET lost. I was fired if I couldn't beat him.
Tina: That's kind of a dick move--
Steve Orbit: Let me finish. He knew exactly what I needed. I don't know exactly why he did it-- but he knew I was better than how I was performing at the time. He knew I was coasting, he knew I wasn't giving a hundred percent every week. Even I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back, Fly was right. He was right about everything, and if he didn't push me to dig down into that place where I had to go, that place where I been ever since? I wouldn't have a World title to my name. This wouldn't be the stellar year that I'm having. I'd be doing fine, sure-- but I wouldn't be EXCELLING every single week. And I have Jonny Fly to partially thank for that. Another time, we ran into each other in Vegas, and we did a pimping competition-- through that, I met Havana, who became one of my good friends, someone who is very special to me. So in a way, I have to thank Fly for that as well.
Tina: Aight, but... do you think he's gonna win?
Steve Orbit: Shit... I dunno, Tina. I'm going in there to win-- I know I can win, but Fly is gonna be the hardest mother fucker to get rid of, let me put it to you like that. But if I comes down to it, and it's me and him-- I'll beat him again. I have to, yo. I ain't goin' back to lose... I can't lose. I want that WAR win, I want that World title.
[Tina puts the papers back in order and tosses the packet onto the desk.]
Steve Orbit: That's it?
Tina: That's the whole thing.
[Orbit looks at his watch.]
Steve Orbit: Aight, break's over. Back to work.
[Tina glares at Steve.]
Steve Orbit: What? I'm just playin'. But God damn, we been sittin' here for like an hour. We supposed to be going over plans for the grand re-opening.
Tina: I know.
[Orbit twirls a pencil between his fingers and looks deep in thought for a few moments. Tina checks her make-up in a pocket mirror.]
Steve Orbit: You wanna get some lunch?
Tina: Yeah, aight.
[Orbit and Tina get up and leave the office. Fade out.]
This week, people are gonna talk a lotta shit. That's a given, it's guaranteed. Everybody gonna be talkin' about everybody. That's what we do, every week we talk about our opponents. We try to imagine their weaknesses, we try to mentally prepare to compete-- and at the same time, we tryin' to get inside each other's mind. We tryin' to break each other's confidence. This week, we tryin' to psych ourselves up for... THE match. Some are calling it the biggest WAR ever. Look at some of the names I just talked about-- shit, look at ALL the names I just talked about. This is gonna be an incredible night for professional wrestling, no doubt.
So yeah, the locker room's gonna be talkin'. And they just might talk about me. I mean, I was the World Champ before Nathan. I'm a guy who's accomplished a lot in this company-- I don't need to tell you, y'all know. The fans know, I'm Steve Orbit. I been hot since my debut and I only got better. I only got smarter, and stronger. And more hungry to succeed. But despite all that, they gonna talk about me. They gonna say I was a lame World Champion, I lost it in my first defense. They gonna do some stereotype shit about pimps, thinkin' that shit had anything to do with me-- shit, maybe they'll throw in some borderline racist stuff. Wouldn't surprise me-- and it wouldn't upset me. One of the first things I learned about this business is that you can't let these words bother you. Most of the time, I don't even listen to what my opponent says about me before I get in the ring. What's the point? If anything, it's just gonna piss me off and make me wanna beat that ass even more.
Me? I talk my share of shit, I can't lie. I'm not the type of mother fucker to keep my mouth shut, but I'm not the type to talk shit for no reason, either. I don't have to talk a tough game. I have a record, a reputation that speaks for itself.
The point is this. Whether you like me, or you love me, or you hate me... I'm back for WAR, and I'm a serious contender. I'm a potential winner by anyone's estimation. So talk all you want about me. Pretend I ain't one of the best God damn wrestlers that's ever been employed by the WCF. Shit is gonna get real Sunday night-- and the reality is, I'm coming to WAR to win. I'm coming to beat everyone, and win my second World Title. I belong at the top of this company. Sunday, I'll show and prove. But remember this-- I love y'all. At the end of the day, y'all my people, man, y'all my family. And I'm comin' home.
"Even though y'all hate, I love y'all muh fuckas
Friend or foe, you're all my muh fuckas" - Jay-Z, "Hola Hovito"