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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2012 19:48:34 GMT -5
It would appear that the Wrestling Championship Federation has adopted a new color scheme during my convalescence. Where once everything was neon green I now only see yellow.
Yesterday on the company website, an online platform that for months I represented dutifully as its Virtual Ambassador, I announced my impending return to active competition. This decision was made despite the great personal risk to my well-being; as I am still suffering the effects of the vicious fourteen on one assault that put me on the injured list. But it was done anyway, because I am a man that thrives on adversity.
The rest of the WCF locker room does not share the same Weltanschauung as I. For instead of jumping to accept the "open challenge" I made to wrestle me at the Heckoween Pay Per View, they have deferred; scurrying to hide in the shadows like the rats Nathan Von Liebert associates with, and I do not mean the Church of Dark Saints.
I realize it is the season for it, but is my forthcoming presence on the active roster that terrifying? Surely there is someone who meets the simple criteria I set forward willing to face me. A good two-thirds of you are certifiably insane: making poor decisions should be right in your wheelhouse.
Time is running out, ladies and gentlemen. It will not be long before our leader, Seth Lerch, will be forced to "book" next week's "card". So in the moments we have left I beseech you to rise to the occasion and accept my challenge. Otherwise Mister Lerch may just pick you to fight me anyway, denying you even the pretext of appearing courageous, and accepting your drubbing with equanimity.
"The Stable Killer" Scoutmaster Stuart Slane
October 22, 2012
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Post by Deleted on Oct 29, 2012 15:45:25 GMT -5
@the Scoutmaster
For the record, let it be known that if the 8th Wonder had remained under my tutelage, they would have had the acumen to pin that bear.
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Post by The 8th Wonder on Oct 30, 2012 10:23:34 GMT -5
@wonderweekly
DID WE JUST GET A DEMERIT BADGE!?
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2012 19:01:34 GMT -5
After the 11/4 Slam
Once again, I win; and once again, people do not wish to give me my due.
Last night in a hard fought contest, I pinned my most frequent nemesis in the WCF, LA Johnny Stylez. It was the third time I have beaten the "Don of Disrespect", and while the previous contests involved the fate of a title, for me this victory was the most satisfying. The reasons are twofold.
First, smashing Mister Stylez's vertebrae like so much porcelain was an act of rough justice. I avenged the cowardly assault perpetrated upon me by him and the rest of the 'Gang of Fourteen' at "Shoot To Thrill". And while this retribution does not recover the time lost to injury, or my Internet Championship (which, not coincidentally, is in Mister Stylez's possession), it sends a message to the remaining members of that sinister cabal: come after me outside the ring and I will make sure you pay once I get you inside it.
Second, the victory moves me on the next round of the WCF Classic. This tournament that started with sixteen wrestlers is now down by half. Seven men and one woman, as elite an eight you will find in any wrestling promotion. Next week we will compete again, and the week after that and then finally at the "End of the World" Pay Per View, where the last person standing wins an aerial outing with our esteemed leader, Mister Seth Lerch.
I will have more to say on my upcoming match and opponent later in the week. For now, there is an unpleasant bit of old business to to discuss. Something that relates to my opening declaration that there are people in this sport who refuse to give me the respect I deserve.
The World Wide Web is abuzz with Doubting Thomases and Negative Nellies claiming that my victory over Johnny Stylez is tainted. I assume they feel that way because of the appearance of Mister Stylez's old stable mate, Hunter Valentyne. Here is my response to that: Bullfeathers.
I beat Johnny Stylez fair and square. Was Mister Valentyne wrong to inject himself in the match? Undoubtedly. But I did not receive any form of advantage from his presence that Mister Stylez himself did not give me. He was the one who allowed himself to be distracted by those midgets* in the burlap sacks the so-called "Cancer of the WCF" squirreled away under the ring. If Johnny Stylez was a true professional, he would have seen fit to BE PREPARED for such an eventuality. But he wasn't, and thus he lost.
Let me be clear: I do not condone what Hunter Valentyne did Sunday night at Slam. And in no way am I in cahoots with that vulgar little carbuncle. But, not for one nanosecond do I feel any remorse or sympathy for the target of his ire. Hosea 8:7, Mister Stylez; look it up.
"Scoutmaster" Stuart Slane, The "Gang" Buster
November 5, 2012
*or dwarves, or little people. Whatever the proper nomenclature is.
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Post by Terry Roberts on Nov 7, 2012 4:55:27 GMT -5
To: The WCF Universe
From: Synn
Subject: November 11th Slam
On October 26, 2012. after 3 and a half months of pursuing, chasing, asking for a rematch against Jeff Purse, i made a statement on WCF Inside Scoop. Go back, read what i said, apparently you all thought it nothing more than a joke.
On November 11th, at the Bob Devaney Center in Lincoln, Nebraska, the main event booked was a WCF World title match, a triple threat that will see Adam Young vs Synn vs Jeff Purse.
NO IT WON'T!!!
Just yesterday, i personally went to the WCF headquarters in Philadelpia, and had a nice long chat with Mister Lerch, and the championship committee.
After explaining to Mister lerch the seriousness of my stance on the issue, he agreed to honor my request to be taken out of that match, you see, Jeff Purse is not good enough to step in the ring with Synn, I swore that Synn vs Jeff Purse would NEVER happen, and i ment it. but I've never missed one single WCF event since my return June 16th, and i'm not going to start now. It just won't be in an active capacity. So i wish Adam Young all the luck in the world at Slam, as he goes head to head one on one against Purse for the world title.
Don't worry, you'll hear from me, when does Synn not have something to say? See you all at Slam.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2012 6:58:39 GMT -5
To: Mister Terry Roberts
From: "The Scoutmaster" Stuart Slane
Subject: See above
Good Lord, you are as fickle as a woman. Just change your name to "Dyva" and be done with it.
Scoutmaster Stuart Slane, "The 'Gang' Buster"
November 7, 2012
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2012 11:39:35 GMT -5
@ericprice
So the supposed "Main Event" is now Jeff Purse vs Adam Young for the World Title? What a joke. #JeffPurseIsAPaperChampion
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Post by Jeff Purse on Nov 7, 2012 12:03:55 GMT -5
@thefuturejeffp
Wow. Thats pretty damn ridiculous. #SynnContinuesToCry
@ericprice
Why don't you throw your name in the hat then Price? Go to Lerch, make it a three way again. Would love to kick your ass. You are as ignorant as they come. #SuckItEricPrice
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Post by Tim on Nov 7, 2012 12:12:38 GMT -5
@theiowanmassacre
All those in favor of placing @ericprice as the world's biggest douche bag, say aye.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2012 15:02:09 GMT -5
@ericprice
Kick my ass? Purse, you really do have a wit about yourself, don't you? Oh no, I wouldn't want to interrupt the ratings vacuum that your match will be this week.
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Post by Jeff Purse on Nov 7, 2012 15:23:18 GMT -5
@thefuturejeffp
Psh, people love seeing Adam Young get killed.
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RVN
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Post by RVN on Nov 9, 2012 4:23:27 GMT -5
@thegooddoctor
It pleases me greatly to find someone of sanity within the ranks of this abomination. Bravo Mr. Slane Bravo!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2012 9:50:41 GMT -5
@thescoutmaster
@thegooddoctor what would a psychiatrist know about sanity? Go practice your voodoo elsewhere, you glorified snake oil salesman.
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Post by huntervalentyne on Nov 9, 2012 13:36:35 GMT -5
@verbalviolation
wasn't he the one that was crying for a match with purse on whatever social media he could find from his mom's computer?
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2012 14:20:48 GMT -5
@ericprice
I wouldn't waste my time complimenting The Scoutmaster @thegooddoctor, he loves and appreciates no one but himself like the selfish egotistical hypocrite that he is. He refuses to learn from his better, yours truly Mr. Eric Price. #ScoutmasterHasLowIQ
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Post by Tim on Nov 9, 2012 14:26:27 GMT -5
@theiowanmassacre
@ericprice And you thought that trying to pick up women just to get past the next round of a huge tournament would work? #Irony
Let's not forget that you aren't in your place after @thefuturejeffp kicked your ass last at War XI and won the World title. It's seems that YOU haven't learned YOUR lesson.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2012 14:59:50 GMT -5
@ericprice
@theiowanmassacre, you fail to mention the cheating Sarah Twilight used to actually win. Additionally, @thefuturejeffp did not kick my ass at War XI, he got lucky and it was a fluke victory. Now he's defending his title against a great talent in Adam Young, what a great champion he is. #PurseIsAPaperChampion
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2012 16:16:58 GMT -5
@thescoutmaster
@ericprice That quack's evaluation of my psyche means as much to me as your opinion of my ethics. #Psychiatryisbunkum.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2012 17:16:34 GMT -5
@ericprice
It's not "my opinion", it's simply a statement of fact.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2012 17:52:50 GMT -5
@gravedigger
@verbalviolation how about you go back to jerking the curtain where you belong? How many title shots and Slam main events have you been a part of?
@verbalviolation I mean really, you spent almost half your WCF career here winning against Adam Young and you're the one with nothing to show.
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