Posted to WCF.com

[Deleted]

After the 7/22 Slam


Sunday night many things happened. Joel Hall put on a mask and turned WCF’s latest hire into spin art. Harvey Dodson was quite literally thrown out of the company. And there were run-ins. Lots of run-ins. So many run-ins Mister Lerch may want to consider investing in a moat around the ring.


But the most crucial event that occurred during Slam was ONCE AGAIN I proved myself to be the better man than my most frequent nemesis: Kale Windsor. Three times “The Platinum Spoon” has faced me in the ring now, and all three times he has failed to pin me. Even when backed up by the current Tag Team Champions, Eric Price and Jonathan Jakobs, Mister Windsor came up short. Meanwhile, my leadership was central in allowing my partners, the well-meaning but quite frankly overmatched tandem of Tek and Steeltoe Joe to, if I may use some insider lingo, “pick up the deuce.”


The Prophecy and I are going into Ultimate Showdown strong. In fact, I am undefeated for July. Meanwhile, the man who is Number One Contender for the Internet Title has piled up loss upon loss. Why does Kale Windsor deserve to face me for my belt? Is it politics? Are the rumors true, that there are some in the WCF front office so scared of the radical changes my Seven Point Plan will bring to the company’s web site they will back anyone who supports the status quo?


I’m not normally one to cry conspiracy; but it’s a conspiracy. A virtual assassination attempt against the Wrestling Championship Federation’s Virtual Ambassador. The weapon of choice: Kale Windsor.


Let it be known that I oppose this treachery with every fiber of my being. If Mister Windsor chooses to be a patsy for the true enemy of me and right-minded Slaneiacs everywhere, then so be it. It’s his career. Next week, at Ultimate Showdown, I will face Kale Windsor for the fourth and final time. Whether or not he wants it to be the last time he ever enters a wrestling ring again without the aid of prosthetics is entirely up to him.


“The Scoutmaster” Stuart Slane
July 23, 2012

[Kale Windsor]

To: "The Scoutmaster" Stuart Slane

From: "The Rising Star" Kale Windsor


You are nothing more than an overstuffed walking dictionary that hasn't been updated since the early 1900's. You toss big words around in an attempt to scare your opponent off. I, Mr. Slane do not scare easy. You seem to think that having a functioning brain is all that it takes to be top dog in the world of wrestling, but that would be DEAD wrong. It's more than just brain power that keeps titles around one's waist. It's fifty percent brains and it's fifty percent brawn. You, Scouty have only shown that you possess half of what it takes to be a real champion. I have on the other hand proven time and time again that I have it all. I am The Rising Star, and I am coming for my belt this Sunday. I've enclosed a video message for you as well as all the Kalenites world wide. See you Sunday Stewie!

[Deleted]

To: Mister Kale Windsor

From: "The Scoutmaster" Stuart Slane

Subject: "Brawn"



Your latest post to WCF.com insinuated that I lack the physical prowess to hold a title here in the Wrestling Championship Federation. Then, in a attempt to prove you do, you violate Rule Five of my soon to be implemented Seven Point Plan and embed a YouTube clip of yourself exercising in some chichi urban apartment.


Are you mad, Mister Windsor?


That is the only possible explanation for you to engage in such obtuse tomfoolery. For no sane, rational man would view that clip and think you are in any way my physical superior. Has your narcissism so blinded you that you are able to gaze at your sunken chest and pipe cleaner limbs and think you can match me in strength or stamina?

My body may not be suitable for a glossy vignette, Mister Windsor, but it is one of formidable power. It is forest hewn and mountain forged. And it is more than capable of taking hold of those drumsticks you call legs and bending your body in an angle Mother Nature never intended. This Sunday at Ultimate Showdown, that is what will finally happen. I am going to twist you into a "Windsor Knot" until you submit, leaving me still WCF Internet Champion. BE PREPARED for it.


"The Scoutmaster" Stuart Slane
July 24, 2012

[Deleted]

My weblog received an interesting post yesterday that I wanted to share with everyone. It was from Mister Carl Isherwood of Roanoke, Virginia, who asked if I was relieved that the Internet Title was not important enough to be contested in the multi-man Ultimate Showdown match this Sunday. While I am sure this was meant as a veiled insult, I have to at least give Mister Isherwood credit for following the first rule of my Seven Point Plan and taking credit for his slight against me and the belt I hold.

To answer his question; no, I am not relieved. But I do understand why the Internet Championship is perceived by some as an afterthought in the WCF Title picture. It was created as motivation for online bickering among the wrestlers competing for it, and to drum up traffic for the company’s website. And in the past that has been what’s happened. Challengers and champions to the belt declared themselves ‘King Trash Talker’ while trading sophomoric insults with their opponents, until the day came to actually back up their words in the ring. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

As Internet Champion, I will not follow that pattern. Unlike Zombie McMorris, unlike Odin Balfore, unlike Johnny Stylez, I am going to do something with this title. Something more than their limited imaginations ever dreamed possible. The Internet Championship is going to become important because “I” hold it. And as I use it as a means to bring integrity and civil discourse to the WCF’s online presence, every foul-mouthed reprobate in the company will be praying that someone will be able to take it from me. Right now, I’m sure the WCF locker room is full of Kale Windsor fans, for just that very reason.

It won’t happen. My reign started by ‘harshing the buzz’ of that degenerate Johnny Stylez. It will continue after Ultimate Showdown, where I finally put Mister Windsor in his place. And it will endure, and thrive, long after that, until my name will be forever linked with the Internet Championship, and NO ONE will dare imply it is a secondary title ever again.

I hope that answers your question, Mister Isherwood.

“The Scoutmaster” Stuart Slane
July 26, 2012

[Johnny Stylez]

@donofdi$Re$PeCT419

Let's get something straight right quick Mr. Slane. One thing that is blatanly obvious is that you have a very vivid imagination and lots of hopefuly ambition and for that I commend you! But make no mistake about it. You caught me napping last week and this situation involving you and MY INTERNET Championship is far from over. Kale Windsor the former Mouseketeer I assure you is the very least of your worries!

Because make no mistake about it, as soon as this pay per view has concluded I will be coming back after MY CHAMPIONSHIP. A title I made prestegious enough to make you want to compete for it. And rest assured by the time all this is said and done it will continue to be THE DON OF DISRESPECT, LA Johnny Stylez who will be considered the greatest INTERNET CHAMPION of ALL TIME! So enjoy your week as CHAMPION, but your fifteen minutes of fame are rapdily approaching an end. You can call that a threat, you can call it a promise, you can call it whatever the phuck you 'd like MoRoN, but the one thing you are going to have to call it more so than anything else is the truth my friend, as I shove that along with your ambition and vivd imagination back down your BITCH ASS THROAT!

!!!!SoaK!!!!
!!!!SoMe!!!
!!!!!UP!!!!!
...And Just You Wait Till The Day Comes When I Wipe My Ass With All Your MERIT BADGES HOMO!

[Deleted]

To: Mister Johnny Stylez

From: "The Scoutmaster" Stuart Slane

Subject: Finding missing time



This nap I supposedly caught you in, are you sure it wasn't a long term drug induced blackout?

You lost the Internet Title to me two weeks ago at Night of Champions.

Last week was when you lost your tag team match against Synn and FPV.

As for you reclaiming the Internet Championship; there is only one person less deserving of a title match against me, and I am facing him this Sunday at Ultimate Showdown. Thus, anything is possible.

Additionally, I didn't seek out this belt because of the prestige you brought to it. I fought for the title to save it, and all of WCF, from you and your grimy kind.

So, go ahead, Mister Stylez. Make your case for a rematch. Just don't expect the outcome of that contest to be any different than the last time we fought.

"The Scoutmaster" Stuart Slane
July 27, 2012

[Johnny Stylez]

@donofdi$Re$PeCT419

Well coming from you Mr. Slane I don't think someone being deserving of a title match is anything you should be flapping your cock sucker about. Considering you couldn't even win a number one conterndership match against Kale Windsor in the first place to get your title match. But yeah nap, deug induced coma, call it what you want because whatever the phuck it was it won't happen again and sooner rather than later the mistake that is your WcF Internet Championship reign will be just like your existence in this life in the sense that it will be very shortly

!!!!OVeR and FoRGoTTeN ABoUT!!!!!
...and rightfully phucking so I MeaN LOOK AT YOU!!!

But just you wait, because being a former champion I am entitled to a rematch and when that day comes I will gladly stomp your silly ass into the ground faster than you can tie a knot, start a fire, sell a box of cookiez or any of those other handy dandy things they teach you to do in the girlscouts!

[Kale Windsor]

To : Stuart Slane

From: "The Rising Star" Kale Windsor

Subject: Citius, altius, fortius

Mad? I am far from mad. I find your statements about me laughable, just as laughable as the set of rules you wish to set into place in hopes of saving the WCF from itself and the likes of me. You have probably thought that my silence this week was a sign of what to expect come Sunday night at Ultimate Showdown and you are both right and wrong in that assumption. You see I have been back home, not the sunny state of California but the home of my birth London, England. I have been helping the masses with the final preparations for the Olympics. I am sure that you with the billions world wide watched the Opening Ceremonies last evening. I was there among the real people, the real heroes, the real athletes. I seen in each of their eyes the spirit of what it is to be a competitor, a hopeful and a future champion. As they are heading into their meets in the coming days, I will do the same by stepping into the ring with you one more time for the Internet Championship Belt. I like many of Olympic hopefuls will walk out with the gold.

You claim that you will finally put an end this by twisting me into a "Windsor Knot". Just the mere thought of this makes me laugh. It's funny how you think that you will finally do something that you have yet to do. You think that you can finally beat me? You have had how many tries at me and you have yet to pin me, make me tap, hell or even get me counted out for a victory over me. You should have realized by now that You can NOT beat me. Once I hit you with the 90210 and the Rodeo Dive, I will get the three count on you and become the Internet Champion.

Now with that said I will add that I agree with you that Stylez does not deserve a rematch, he was pinned by you fair and square, again something that NO ONE has yet to do to me. I have yet truly been beaten in the ring. But Stylez, let me say this to you, once I win the belt from Scouty on Sunday, you can work your way up to a match with me if you please although you will never hold this title again. You do not deserve a title not until you know what it truly takes to be a champion.
I already know what it takes and it's not what Scouty has to offer. People don't want to be told what they can not do because one man feels he knows what's best for the masses. The Internet Champion is just another way of saying A People's Champion since after all the Internet belongs to the people, it belongs to everyone. I am a People's Champion as even you yourself Scouty have admitted that there a many people backing me this Sunday. Are you ready to be shown what a true athlete is all about? You told me to be prepared, I say to you, Make sure your insurance is up to date. I don't plan on letting you walk out on your own accord.


"The Rising Star"
Kale Windsor

[Deleted]

After Ultimate Showdown


Sunday night I accomplished two significant, interlocking goals.

I retained the Internet Title after a brutal, “There Must Be a Winner” Match.

I removed a proverbial and over-groomed monkey from my back when I finally pinned “The Rising Star” Kale Windsor.

While I congratulate Mister Windsor on a battle hard fought, the reality is the result of our struggle never was in any question. My superior physical prowess and tactical aptitude created odds too great for him to overcome. Mister Windsor should not feel shame in this; he simply lost to the better man. Still, after last night, it cannot be said he doesn’t possess talent. “Bright” is too strong a descriptor to ascribe to it, but I am at least willing to predict a future for “The Rising Star” that is at least dimly fulgid.

As for my prospects; the path moving forward for me cannot be more well-illuminated. My victory last night demonstrated the rightness of my reign, and my cause. Despite the machinations of others, I am still Internet Champion, the Virtual Ambassador of the WCF, and the Architect of The Seven Point Plan that will transform this company’s website into the ideal online social network.

I will do my part to expound on the merits of my Seven Point Plan, using all the clout being the longest reigning champion currently in WCF* affords, but I cannot do this alone. You people, you Slaneiacs, must add your voices to the chorus. Contact the Vice President of Online Digitial Media Content Miss Lisl Anne at WCF.com and let her know that the decent, right thinking fans of the Wrestling Champion Federation will not sit idly by as their needs are ignored. Margaret Mead may have been a crass secular humanist with a tendency to stick her nose where it didn’t belong, but she was right on the money when she said “never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.”


“The Scoutmaster” Stuart Slane
July 31, 2012






*Excluding the People’s Title

[Deleted]

To: The Slaneiacs of the WCF

From: “The Scoutmaster” Stuart Slane

Subject: Recent online shenanigans


As those of you who follow me on my Twitter Account no doubt noticed, earlier today I was involved in a brief discourse with Terry “Synn” Roberts over the issue of him coveting more of the Demerit Badges I have already issued to him during my segment on “The 8th Wonder’s Weekly Report.” It is not important why those previous pair of badges were awarded to him, but suffice it to say it was for reasons other than positive. Mister Roberts failed to grasp the point of this, and a brief row ensued, which ended with a flippant comment from him that implied it may be necessary to question his masculinity. Puzzling, to say the least. Even more so was the addendum posted by my one time nemesis “The Rising Star” Kale Windsor, who stated that Mister Roberts’s fuzzy gender was officially verified by a third party.

It became clear what was transpiring. Both men, and yes, they are men, no matter what their “tweets” hinted towards, were making a mockery of the Demerit Badge system I have put in place. To say I found this insulting was an understatement. Hours are spent by me putting together the “Weekly Report” segments. Valuable time spent on research, drafting, editing, and taping. And for what? A small stipend from WCF and the satisfaction of knowing I am making an effort to help my fellow wrestlers improve. Meanwhile, Misters Roberts and Windsor treat the entire exercise as a larf.

After the back and forth between myself and the aforementioned parties had ceased, my Twitter account was inundated with scores of fans who felt the same way as I. A significant portion even demanded I remove both Mister Roberts and Mister Windsor from future Demerit Badge consideration. I deliberated on this briefly. But in the end, as galling is it may be, this is a course I cannot take. As an American, as a Republican, one of my strongest held convictions is that a man is entitled to what he earns. And just as I earned my Internet Title by pinning Johnny Stylez, and earned the right to keep it by beating Kale Windsor like a mudroom rug, both Mister Windsor and Mister Roberts are entitled to any future Demerit Badges if their actions warrant it.

Gentlemen, you are welcome.

“The Scoutmaster”Stuart Slane
August 2, 2012

[Deleted]

@thescoutmaster


The Internet Champion is offline for the week and pornography runs rampant at WCF. This is no coincidence. #BringingSacksofSaltpetertoSlam

[Deleted]

After the 8/12 Slam


Sunday night at Slam I did what I said I would: defeat two recent former WCF champions. Tommy Kain and Jonathan Jakobs are both talented wrestlers who were in desperate need of a win to remain relevant. Unfortunately for them, they were fighting me, and thus failed to achieve their objective. This should not be a surprise. Mister Jakobs’s performance in the ring has been lackluster since he captured the Tag Team Titles with Eric Price; a classic case of a man achieving too much too soon. As for Tommy Kain, the newly christened “Awesome Man” proved himself to be less than that. It is clear outside factors are distracting Mister Kain, about which I will go into greater detail during my “Demerit Badge” segment.

For now, I want to focus on what the outcome of Sunday’s match means for me and my reign as Internet Champion. I believe that by beating two ex-champions I have done more than enough to exempt me from having to defend my title at the Revenge Pay Per View, or any time before that. Some may accuse me of trying to shirk my responsibilities, but this is pure, undiluted poppycock. As Virtual Ambassador of the Wrestling Championship Federation, I have duties that far outstrip any other title holder. It is simply not fair to expect me to represent the company to the online community while following the standard schedule of defending my belt.

Therefore, I am making this proposal: at Revenge, I will hand pick sixteen men to participate in an Over The Top Rope Elimination Battle Royale. The last man standing will IMMEDIATELY face me afterwards for the OPPORTUNITY to become Number One Contender for the Internet Championship. If he wins the match, the wrestler in question will get his shot at War XI. If I win, he loses his shot, and the qualifying process is repeated at monthly intervals ad infinitum.

This compromise is more than fair. My time will be freed up to fulfill my many, many obligations as Internet Champion, but the altered format still compels me to defend the title. In addition, this plan will benefit those wrestlers who make up what insiders call “the undercard” of the WCF; giving those on the roster who normally are denied the opportunity to earn gold a chance to do so.

I have already sent my idea to Seth Lerch, the WCF Championship Committee, and my immediate superior, the Vice President of Digital Media Content, Ms. Lisl Anne. It is my hope that they will see it is in the company’s best interest to adopt it. Slaneiacs, if you feel the same way, please contact the aforementioned parties by electronic mail and let them know how passionately you feel about this revolutionary proposal. Your support is invaluable in this crusade to restore order and virtue to WCF.com, and I cannot thank you enough for it.


“The Scoutmaster” Stuart Slane
August 13, 2012

[Deleted]

After the 8/19 Slam


In his “promo” last week Michael Santiago asked me who I thought I was. Though the question was meant to be rhetorical, I am choosing to answer it.

Mister Santiago, I know who I am. I’m the wrestler who, despite the machinations of a crooked umpire, was still able to pin your shoulders to the mat Sunday night at Slam. I am also someone who does not take slurs directed towards my character lightly, even when such scurrilous accusations are coming from a man who gambols to the ring wearing chaps and a haircut twenty years too young for him. Despite your growing inconsequence here in the Wrestling Championship Federation, I will not hesitate to respond severely if you continue your slander. Or, to put it another way: call me a pedophile again and I will beat you so badly your new nickname will be “Black AND BLUE Charisma”.

Now, on to the aforementioned referee. Johnny Stylez, the man I am supposed to face at Revenge for the Internet Title, did his best to cost me my match against Mister Santiago. Surprising no one who has paid the slightest bit of attention to Mister Stylez’s tenure in this promotion, he failed. Enraged by his cat’s-paw’s inability to end my winning ways (I am undefeated since June 24 and after last night the longest current reigning champion in the WCF), he chose to attack me with my own belt.

Such brazen thuggishness should not go unpunished. I have sent Mister Lerch and the WCF Championship Committee a certified letter demanding that Johnny Stylez be stripped of his Number One Contender’s ranking. I feel this strong reprimand will demonstrate to Mister Stylez, and the rest of the WCF roster, that these post-match assaults will not be tolerated.

In closing, I would like to thank the multitude of fans that inundated my electronic mailbox with posts, texts, tweets, and “Touts” with their words of encouragement and sympathy. My Slaneiacs, I may be bloodied, I may be bruised, but I am not broken. I will continue to represent this company, and you, as its Virtual Ambassador to the World Wide Web, for as long as I wear this belt. Which will be forever. Scout’s Honor.


“The Scoutmaster” Stuart Slane
August 20, 2012

[Deleted]

A WCF.com Exclusive


The Scoutmaster stands in his usual spot for his “Demerit Badge” segment. He is in his uniform, the Internet Title draped across his shoulder where his sash would normally be. His eyes are blackened, and a bandage is adhered to the bridge of his nose.

“Something unprecedented is taking place on this Web Exclusive episode of “Demerit Badges with Scoutmaster Stuart Slane”. This week’s show is dedicated to a single wrestler, a man whose actions at Slam were so heinous, so beyond the pale, he should be suspended if not terminated outright by the Wrestling Championship Federation. As the company has not seen fit to do so, I will instead pursue the only avenue open to me. Ladies and gentlemen, without further delay, I present to you The Three Demerit Badges of Johnny Stylez.

“The first badge to be awarded to this addle-pated miscreant is the ‘Lord Acton’s Lament.’ Those of you with a miniscule of cultural awareness are aware that Lord Acton, a British nobleman, has attributed to him the famous quote ‘Power Corrupts, and Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely’. And while some of us in positions of authority are able to resist the siren song of total control, weaker wills cannot. And there is no psyche more anemic than the one possessed by Mister Stylez. The ‘Paragona of Americana’ is nothing of the sort. He is a disgusting, vindictive wretch who used the cover of his referee uniform to enact cruel revenge on me. Despicable. Who thinks this thug deserves another chance to be Internet Champion? Cyber-bullying is already a serious issue in society. With this in mind, do we dare trust Mister Stylez to represent WCF to the digital medium? I shudder to think the number of lawsuits the company will be vulnerable to if this foul-mouthed reprobate becomes our online point man.”

“Johnny Stylez also earned the ‘Umpire With Your Eyes, Not With Your Hands’ Demerit Badge for his vicious and unprovoked assault on my person during my match with Mister Santiago. This contest could have been decided by Mister Stylez’s manhandling. So much so I almost considered petitioning the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission to have an asterisk added to the recorded result. However, given the level of in-fighting going on in this troubled promotion, I abstained from adding to the atmosphere of acrimony. Mister Stylez, Mister Lerch: you are welcome.”

“This final Demerit Badge is unique among all the others I have issued. That is because it is the first to be awarded prior to the event having taken place. ‘The Two Time Loser’ Demerit Badge is going to Johnny Stylez for his inevitable defeat at Revenge. Call it arrogant, call it rash, but I am one hundred percent confident that this accolade is justified. Johnny Stylez is not my equal, in the ring or out. It was proven at Slam’s Night of Champions. And it will be proven again at the Revenge Pay Per View.”

“Before I sign off I have one request for the members of the WCF Universe watching this webcast. In the confusion that took place at the end of my Slam match Sunday, the sash I wear to the ring was misplaced. It has stitched on it every merit badge I have earned in my thirty years as a member of the Boy Scouts of America, and as such has great personal value to me. If you have seen it, or have any information on its whereabouts, please contact me through my electronic mailbox at WCF.com. A reward of $20 is waiting to the person who can help lead to its return. Thank you.”

[Deleted]

To: The Slaneiacs

From: “The Scoutmaster” Stuart Slane

Topic: Giving thanks


I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of support I have received in regards to the loss of my merit badges. Scores have sent condolences. Even more uplifting than your words of sympathy is the fact some of you, at your own initiative and expense, donated patches to replace the ones destroyed. What nobility. Truly, being handed the stack of envelopes containing those gifts ranks as one of my happiest moments as a professional wrestler. Becoming your Internet Champion is first, of course. And the time I caught Kale Windsor in a snare and beat him like a mudroom rug has to go second, but receiving your largess is an easy choice for third.

Slaneiacs, you have shown me the WCF Universe is made up of more than amoral voyeurs who watch the sport out of a sense of bloodlust. You are compassionate individuals. Please, keep the badges coming. With any luck I will be able to walk into Revenge in full uniform, with all my achievements represented proudly. This would demonstrate to Johnny Stylez that his actions served no true purpose other than to put a larger target on his back (quite literally).

While on the subject of the “Don of Disrespect”; he has again written another screed on his weblog. Shameful. The man is quite fortunate that my Seven Point Plan for WCF.com has not been officially approved. If it had been, that atrocity of linguistics would not be published. Never have I seen so many liberties taken with the English language.

My fellow Slaneiacs, I implore you: DO NOT click on Mister Stylez’s blog. Doing so increases his “hit count”, which will in turn encourage him to post more nonsense. If we cannot stop such intellectual flotsam and jetsam from washing up on the pristine shore of our collective mindscape through the establishment of stricter standards, we must use the only other weapon at our disposal: a BOYCOTT.

That said, amidst the usual spastic syntax and vulgarity of Mister Stylez’s latest polemic, there is only one semi-salient point that was new or even worth discussing. And that is where he claims to have “already won” because he “got [me] to stoop to our level.” By “our”, I can only assume Mister Stylez is referring to his newest alliance of sad-sacks, the Misfits.

I was flummoxed when I read this assertion. It confused me so much I went through the entire post again to make sure I hadn’t misinterpreted it. As I should have expected, a second viewing of Mister Stylez’s taxing, tedious prose did not help matters. In fact, it gave me a headache. Now, after a home remedy of a cold moss compress and some feverfew, my faculties have sufficiently recovered so that I might craft a response to this perplexing claim. For the sake of simplicity I will reproduce my thoughts in list form.

1. It is a good sign that Mister Stylez can admit that I am naturally of a higher station than him and the rest of the foul-mouthed iconoclasts with whom he associates. It proves he is not wholly deluded.

2. Successes must come few and far between for him if he is willing to chalk this up as a triumph. I suppose by stoner logic this puts us on equal footing, when nothing could be further from the truth. A win in wrestling occurs when you defeat your opponent in the ring, like I did against Mister Stylez nearly six weeks ago, becoming Internet Champion as a consequence. Driving a man to the point of rage through the theft and destruction of a prized family heirloom is not a victory. “The Paragona of Americana” should know that, given his supposed experience.


3. Yes, Mister Stylez got me angry when he fed my sash of merit badges, the sum of a lifetime of personal achievement, to his tin can eating pet. Congratulations to him. But to revel in his actions as he does, it makes one wonder if he always over-celebrates after accomplishing tasks with similar low levels of difficulty. In the morning, does Mister Stylez run a victory lap after tying his shoes on the first try? Does not burning the toast warrant a high five from one of his Misfit brethren? I'm being facetious, of course. Johnny Stylez deserves nothing except scorn.

4. Getting my dander up doesn’t elevate Johnny Stylez. He isn’t any more of a threat to my reign now than he was before. A competent wrestler, yes, but if Mister Stylez thinks his actions have given him some kind of edge against me Sunday, he has miscalculated. This is what is going to happen at Revenge. There will be a match for my Internet Championship. Mister Stylez will lose. I will punish him for taking my sash. He will attempt resistance, but ultimately be forced to take his medicine. Afterwards, I will continue on as the longest current reigning title holder in the Wrestling Championship Federation, and soon the longest reigning Internet Champion ever. Mister Stylez, his spine willing, will crawl back to the tag division where he belongs.


Scout’s honor.



“The Scoutmaster” Stuart Slane
August 25, 2012

[Deleted]

After Revenge


I have said in the past that it is the Champion that makes the Championship matter. Last night my assertion was again proved correct. I successfully defended my Internet Title against a determined and skilled foe: the man who held the belt before me, Johnny Stylez. He brought everything he had into our match (as well as everything others had, but more on that in a moment) and fought with a zeal quite frankly I didn’t think he possessed. I’m sure others were equally surprised with his efforts. All week Mister Stylez crowed about getting me to “stoop to” his “level” through his base actions, when it appears the reverse is true. My holding the Internet Title motivated Johnny Stylez to perform as he never has before in the attempt to topple me. Instead of him lowering me, I elevated him. That is the hallmark of a true champion.

But my match Sunday night was more important than just providing evidence of Mister Stylez’s nascent ability as a wrestler. By winning, I continue to be the current longest reigning title holder in the WCF. I also move closer to becoming the longest reigning Internet Champion period. On top of these achievements is something just as significant. At Revenge, not only did I manage to fend off johnny Stylez, but also a coordinated attack by his entire faction.*

The Misfits, that collective of dysfunctional ne’er-do-wells, made their presence known near the end of my match. To secure a victory for their leader, the group attempted what insiders in this sport call a “run-in”. These are done in hopes of distracting either the referee or the opponent enough so that the allied wrestler can pick up the win. Or sometimes, it is done just to cause chaos. The Misfits were unsuccessful in accomplishing any of these goals, as I was able to counter their incursion and defeat Mister Stylez. With one Scoutmaster Slam, I have made an entire stable irrelevant.

Last night I did what former WCF talent Jay Price only talked about: strike a decisive blow against the growing number of cliques in the company. It is an achievement as important as Sparta’s stand at Thermopylae. For by holding back the heathen invasion of the most holy site in wrestling, I have single-handedly disproved the notion that there is strength in numbers in the Wrestling Championship Federation. I showed that one man can make a difference, if that man chooses to BE PREPARED.

This is a principle I have always followed. Since coming to WCF I have been ridiculed for many things, but first among them are my beliefs. People here have outright told me that my Seven Point Plan to set strict guidelines for our website is foolish, because no single person can control the Internet. To them I say: ‘take a look at what I did at Revenge, and then tell me what goals are beyond my reach.’


“The Stable Killer” “Scoutmaster” Stuart Slane
August 27, 2012




*Excluding Kief, who was no doubt backstage gorging himself at the Craft service table.

[tommykain]

Hold the phone short shorts.

You need to understand that at revenge you did nothing but win one, ONE. Match. You see the MISITS is not some stable. We are not another in along line of douchebag super groups out to take over the wrasslin world.

No we are the collective fun and entertainment that has disappeared from this business. And we are from from done. Honestly thin mints, we ain't even warmed up yet.

[Deleted]

@ericprice

Despite the fact that we may not see eye to eye on everything, I would like to once again congratulate Mr. Stuart Slane on his victory that allowed to continue as our Internet Champion. With a man of class and integrity like him at the helm of our digital media forefront, I know and can be assured that WCF and its online outlets will remain pure and cleansed of any filth that might attempt to take them over and that ruffians such as The Misfitz will always be put in their place. To Mr. Slane, I say thank you for your services and your commitment to keeping the presence of WCF on the internet clean and honorable.

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@thescoutmaster


The difference between myself and the Misfits is that they seek to entertain the WCF while I choose to enlighten it.


@the Scoutmaster

@ericprice Forgive me for not placing any value to compliments from you, WCF's Bluebeard. I worry for Misses Kendall and Pain.

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@ericprice

I may have to start bankrolling some raunchy ad campaigns for WCF.com. Money talks. That's what you get for disrespecting me Mr. Slane. #DontCrossEricPrice