Post by Deleted on Dec 21, 2007 11:33:42 GMT -5
Time: 5:36 in the morning
Place: Times Square, New York City
A vintage 1976 Cadillac Eldorado pulls into a parking space in front of the Hard Rock Cafe. WCF superstar Bobby Cairo and his attorney Dave Kartel exit the vehicle. Cairo sets the alarm and casually walks with Kartel toward the entrance of the Hard Rock. A cache of reporters flocks toward Cairo, impeding his and Kartel's progress to the entrance. Cairo plays down the media onslaught by calmly laughing and gesturing with his hands so as to suggest a fatherly presence. Cairo's stylish suede bowler hat and patent leather trenchcoat shield him from the icy chill in the air as he waits for the crowd to disperse. After a few moments Kartel is able to clear a path for his client. Cairo and Kartel brush past the reporters and enter the building.
The Hard Rock is a truly legendary compound; so many landmark announcements have been disseminated from its quarters. Today will be no different as the reporters clamor with baited breath awaiting Cairo's major announcement. Cairo and Kartel greet the owner of the Hard Rock, former Married With Children star David Faustino. After exchanging pleasantries Faustino shows Cairo and Kartel to the pressroom, where a mass of reporters have gathered. Cairo supporters and patrons of the Hard Rock look on from afar, desperately trying to catch a glimpse before the door closes as Cairo takes his place in front of the podium. Cairo clears his throat and begins to speak.
Bobby Cairo: "I want to thank everybody for coming out here this morning. As you're all aware this press conference was originally scheduled for Wednesday at 3PM, but of course Cairo is always stylishly late."
The reporters laugh.
Bobby Cairo: "The main reason why I'm here is to announce that I have signed a multi-year contract with Wrestling Championship Federation. As such I will be participating in the first ever WCF Classic. Due to a clause in the contract I cannot reveal the exact financial details, but rest assured that Cairo is being very well compensated for his services. If I had been a poor man before signing this contract then I would be a very rich man now. As such I was an exceedingly wealthy man before signing this contract and now I've got so much dough you might as well call me Poppin' Fresh. I want to thank WCF for giving me this wonderful opportunity. I also want to thank my brilliant Jewish attorney for getting me far more money than WCF could ever hope to recoup. Thank you, David. I don't know where I would be without you."
Cairo shakes hands with Kartel and embraces him as flashbulbs go off.
Bobby Cairo: "I want to apologize to everybody for the noticeable trace of McNugget grease on my breath. I stopped off at McDonalds for a quick breakfast shortly before arriving here and I didn't get a chance to refill my Binaca."
The reporters laugh.
Bobby Cairo: "You ever have one of those moments when you accidentally fall asleep on the couch in front of the TV? Then you wake up feeling so peaceful, but almost immediately panic races through your mind. You realize that you missed some important appointment. That's what happened to me."
The reporters laugh.
Bobby Cairo: "Though I am proud to announce my new agreement with WCF, that's not the only reason why I called this press conference. I want to address some additional issues that are near and dear to my heart. First of all, Marty Jannetty is a social deviant and it would probably be best if he were shot repeatedly until death. Even then we should shoot him a few more times just to make sure that he's really dead. Those drug addicts can have superhuman strength sometimes, just look at Margot Kidder in that episode of Family Guy. In fact I remember the guy who directed Showgirls regaling Howard Stern with tales of Margot Kidder taking a dump on somebody's front lawn. It might have been Johnny Carson's lawn, but I can't be sure. I'm not even sure if it was the Showgirls director who was telling the story, but I'm positive that Margot Kidder took a dump on somebody's front lawn.
Back to my point, Jannetty must be destroyed. Once I prove victorious in the WCF Classic, reasserting my dominance of the professional wrestling world, I will be seeking grave vengeance upon Jannetty inside the Punjabi Prison. Jannetty, your darkest day is upon the horizon. Will you come correctly or wither like diseased vermin?"
Cairo shuffles some papers on the podium, gazing down to read his scribbled notes.
Bobby Cairo: "My next issue that I want to discuss is these rumors that I will be running for President of the United States. Everybody who knows Cairo knows that I am a passionate social and political activist. My interest in politics was piqued in the year 2000 when my hero Mr. Bob Backlund ran for Congress in Connecticut's 1st congressional district. Mr. Backlund lost that election by a margin of 72%-28%, but the impact of his campaign was felt far and wide. Think about it - more than one-quarter of the electorate was fully prepared to send Bob Backlund to Washington. It really--it restored my faith in humanity.
My faith was later shaken when that Crazy Frog nonsense sold millions of copies around the world, but that's neither here nor there. The point is, and this is really the bottom line if you will, that I have decided against running for the presidency of the United States. Although I am perfectly qualified for the job in every way, I feel that there is one candidate who is also perfect. I will be announcing my endorsement of that candidate in the near future.
In the mean time I encourage all of you to study each of the candidates from an unbiased point of view. I want you to really take a good, honest look at each candidate whether big or small, male or female, black or white, gay or straight, Christian or pagan. Examine the candidates and if my upcoming endorsement matches your choice then you are an intelligent and informed voter. If not, then I fully encourage you to emigrate to Canada."
Cairo's most ardent supporters have now gathered outside of the pressroom. They begin chanting Cairo's name as security attempts to reason with them.
Bobby Cairo: "I also want to talk about the love of my life, Ms. Amy Winehouse. Amy is a wonderful, beautiful and talented woman, but as usual that doesn't matter to you thieving media scoundrels. You seek to portray Ms. Winehouse as a hopeless drug addict teetering on the verge of suicide. Have you no shame? Leave the poor woman be! She's under enough stress with her musical career. She doesn't need you merciless goons invading every aspect of her personal life, spreading these vicious, deceptive and evil rumors. Amy is a snuggly kind of woman, the kind of woman you would be proud to take home to mother. Sure she enjoys the fruits of narcotics, but she is a famous musician. You think the Beatles never dabbled in heroin or crack cocaine? Don't make me laugh!
For all these people who say that it's wrong for me to date a married woman, let me clue you fools into some reality. Amy's husband doesn't care that I plow his wife. He's not into chicks anyway. That guy splooges dudes for nickels and dimes outside Westminster Abbey. And unlike the unwashed masses, I don't need to fall in love with celebrities on the TV. I don't need any imaginary romance. I wouldn't jerk it to Sarah Jessica Parker or Jennifer Aniston if they paid me off. I'm living my dreams with Ms. Winehouse and I don't have to explain myself to anyone."
Cairo vigorously pounds the podium with his fist to emphasize his point.
Bobby Cairo: "Since we're here in New York, I want to say some things about the Knicks. I look at Isiah Thomas and I see the epitome of failed leadership. I see reckless spending. I see a complete lack of values. I see an administration devoid of any accountability. I see complacency in the face of overwhelming underachievement. The problem is that the New York Knicks are not a democracy. The fans can't "vote for change" as the liberals like to say. James Dolan is the proverbial benevolent dictator in command of this floundering abomination. Dolan is the only one with the authority to axe Isiah.
That's why I am joining Knicks fans the world over in imploring Mr. Dolan to "do the right thing", as legendary filmmaker and noted Knicks fan Spike Lee might say. Tangible progress cannot be achieved under the current leadership. Mr. Thomas' disgraceful performance as both GM and coach of this team has tarnished a proud franchise. Thomas' recent sexual harassment lawsuit was yet another shameful chapter in this seemingly never-ending New York Knicks horror tale. There will be no easy solution for the Knicks. A return to prominence remains a distant dream, regardless of who runs the team in the immediate future. However one factor is crucial and cannot be overlooked - Isiah must go!"
The entire room erupts in cheers.
Bobby Cairo: "I have finished reading my prepared statement. I will now take questions from the media."
The reporters clamor.
Bob Ryan: "Bob Ryan, Boston Globe. We can all agree with your anti-Isiah sentiment, but let's get back to your big announcement of your return to WCF. Tell me, what exactly is your main reason for returning to WCF and what are your goals in WCF, both immediate and long-term?"
Bobby Cairo: "My reason for returning to WCF is simple. A fire burns inside of me; a passion reigns supreme. I strive for total professional wrestling dominance. After the closure of WCF several months ago I signed with Global Wrestling Coalition. I had a very successful run with GWC, capturing the Television Title and literally redefining it. Ultimately I realized that GWC could never succeed WCF as the preeminent force in professional wrestling. That's why I forfeited my title. I knew that my appetite would not be satisfied by anything that Danny Vice's promotion could offer.
As far as my long-term goals are concerned, I wish to regain the WCF World Championship that I once held. I don't know the exact details of this WCF Classic. I don't know if the World Title will be on the line. I don't know if the winner will get a title shot, but my immediate goal is to win the Classic. If win the Classic that puts me in a great position regardless of stipulations. Next question, please."
Mike Lupica: "Mike Lupica, New York Daily News. What is your relationship with WCF management, specifically WCF owner Seth Lerch? Your departure from WCF over the summer was acrimonious to say the least, and WCF closed its doors shortly thereafter. Are you concerned that there will be lingering animosity between yourself and WCF management?"
Cairo chuckles then takes a sip of water.
Bobby Cairo: "Always busting my balls with the tough questions, eh Mike? Listen the relationship between myself and WCF management has never been stronger. It's true that I've been critical of Lerch's leadership style many times through the years. It's also true that I departed from WCF under very bizarre circumstances. But let me ask you this - if everybody who had a falling out with WCF management were blackballed from ever returning, who exactly would fill out the roster?"
The reporters laugh.
George Will: "George Will, Washington Post. It's well known that you're a close friend and loyal supporter of Congressman Tom Tancredo. Without distracting from the issue of your much-anticipated return to WCF, I would like to get your thoughts on Congressman Tancredo's announcement that he's dropping out of the race for the Republican presidential nomination? Also, what is your reaction to his subsequent endorsement of former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney?"
Bobby Cairo: "That's a good question, George. I'm glad you mentioned Congressman Tancredo. Tom and I are good friends; I've been a longtime supporter of his agenda. He's a man of integrity and principle. I'm not surprised by his decision to drop out of the race, though I am disappointed that his campaign was never able to pick up much steam. I do think Tom succeeded in making illegal immigration a cornerstone issue of this election cycle. I applaud Tom for not hesitating to criticize fellow Republicans, especially President Bush, for taking very weak positions on illegal immigration. As far as his endorsement of Governor Romney, I'll hold comment on any remaining candidates from any party until I make my own endorsement in the near future.
One more thing that I want to say is that we need more people like Tom Tancredo in Washington. I was watching C-SPAN yesterday and I saw that Congress was holding a hearing regarding the recent events in Pakistan. So I'm watching the hearing and in the background, a few feet behind the man who was testifying, I see something very unusual. I see an ugly middle-aged blonde woman - who, by the looks of it, could very well be related to Cindy Shee-Man - wearing an obnoxious pink, feathered hat with the words "Musharraf = Dictator" written in black marker.
This type of unbridled hooliganism should be outlawed from Capitol Hill. These are divisive, ignorant, partisan political tactics that seek only to further ravage an already divided nation. I am instructing Congress to pass legislature that would ban such conduct in the future. Slogans printed on hats and t-shirts or any other article of clothing do not constitute intelligent or substantive socio-political commentary. Such nonsense only trivializes and undermines important issues that affect our nation. Let's save the rhetoric for the dinner table and get back to the business of fixing America. Next question, please."
Jon Heyman: "Jon Heyman, Sports Illustrated. In the past you've spoken of the so-called pecking order in WCF. You've leveled allegations of bias at WCF management. Do you stand by those comments, and if so how does that impact your return to WCF?"
Bobby Cairo: "The sad truth is that every business organization in America and around the world faces these issues of corruption. During my contract negotiations I made it perfectly clear to WCF management that I would not tolerate shenanigans. I am a man of virtue and candor. I am splendid like the salt of the Earth. I believe that WCF has changed for the better because of my outspoken nature. I have highlighted various issues that are important to me. I believe that WCF management has addressed those issues to my satisfaction. There is a protocol that I have established and it's a protocol which has benefited every member of the WCF roster."
Dave Kartel: "Ok that's all, guys. We appreciate everybody coming out here this morning."
Flashbulbs go off as Cairo and Kartel exit the pressroom. Cairo greets his fans who are waiting for him outside. Cairo signs autographs and makes small talk for a few minutes before Kartel ushers him outside to the car.
Bobby Cairo: "I think that went pretty well."
Dave Kartel: "You're the man, Bobby. Cool as a cucumber."
Cairo and Kartel get into the Caddy. Cairo sorts through his CD changer and stops on Led Zeppelin's new Mothership greatest hits collection. "Good Times, Bad Times" cranks through the speakers. Cairo bangs his a few times then drives away, leaving a throng of screaming fans and reporters in his wake.
Place: Times Square, New York City
A vintage 1976 Cadillac Eldorado pulls into a parking space in front of the Hard Rock Cafe. WCF superstar Bobby Cairo and his attorney Dave Kartel exit the vehicle. Cairo sets the alarm and casually walks with Kartel toward the entrance of the Hard Rock. A cache of reporters flocks toward Cairo, impeding his and Kartel's progress to the entrance. Cairo plays down the media onslaught by calmly laughing and gesturing with his hands so as to suggest a fatherly presence. Cairo's stylish suede bowler hat and patent leather trenchcoat shield him from the icy chill in the air as he waits for the crowd to disperse. After a few moments Kartel is able to clear a path for his client. Cairo and Kartel brush past the reporters and enter the building.
The Hard Rock is a truly legendary compound; so many landmark announcements have been disseminated from its quarters. Today will be no different as the reporters clamor with baited breath awaiting Cairo's major announcement. Cairo and Kartel greet the owner of the Hard Rock, former Married With Children star David Faustino. After exchanging pleasantries Faustino shows Cairo and Kartel to the pressroom, where a mass of reporters have gathered. Cairo supporters and patrons of the Hard Rock look on from afar, desperately trying to catch a glimpse before the door closes as Cairo takes his place in front of the podium. Cairo clears his throat and begins to speak.
Bobby Cairo: "I want to thank everybody for coming out here this morning. As you're all aware this press conference was originally scheduled for Wednesday at 3PM, but of course Cairo is always stylishly late."
The reporters laugh.
Bobby Cairo: "The main reason why I'm here is to announce that I have signed a multi-year contract with Wrestling Championship Federation. As such I will be participating in the first ever WCF Classic. Due to a clause in the contract I cannot reveal the exact financial details, but rest assured that Cairo is being very well compensated for his services. If I had been a poor man before signing this contract then I would be a very rich man now. As such I was an exceedingly wealthy man before signing this contract and now I've got so much dough you might as well call me Poppin' Fresh. I want to thank WCF for giving me this wonderful opportunity. I also want to thank my brilliant Jewish attorney for getting me far more money than WCF could ever hope to recoup. Thank you, David. I don't know where I would be without you."
Cairo shakes hands with Kartel and embraces him as flashbulbs go off.
Bobby Cairo: "I want to apologize to everybody for the noticeable trace of McNugget grease on my breath. I stopped off at McDonalds for a quick breakfast shortly before arriving here and I didn't get a chance to refill my Binaca."
The reporters laugh.
Bobby Cairo: "You ever have one of those moments when you accidentally fall asleep on the couch in front of the TV? Then you wake up feeling so peaceful, but almost immediately panic races through your mind. You realize that you missed some important appointment. That's what happened to me."
The reporters laugh.
Bobby Cairo: "Though I am proud to announce my new agreement with WCF, that's not the only reason why I called this press conference. I want to address some additional issues that are near and dear to my heart. First of all, Marty Jannetty is a social deviant and it would probably be best if he were shot repeatedly until death. Even then we should shoot him a few more times just to make sure that he's really dead. Those drug addicts can have superhuman strength sometimes, just look at Margot Kidder in that episode of Family Guy. In fact I remember the guy who directed Showgirls regaling Howard Stern with tales of Margot Kidder taking a dump on somebody's front lawn. It might have been Johnny Carson's lawn, but I can't be sure. I'm not even sure if it was the Showgirls director who was telling the story, but I'm positive that Margot Kidder took a dump on somebody's front lawn.
Back to my point, Jannetty must be destroyed. Once I prove victorious in the WCF Classic, reasserting my dominance of the professional wrestling world, I will be seeking grave vengeance upon Jannetty inside the Punjabi Prison. Jannetty, your darkest day is upon the horizon. Will you come correctly or wither like diseased vermin?"
Cairo shuffles some papers on the podium, gazing down to read his scribbled notes.
Bobby Cairo: "My next issue that I want to discuss is these rumors that I will be running for President of the United States. Everybody who knows Cairo knows that I am a passionate social and political activist. My interest in politics was piqued in the year 2000 when my hero Mr. Bob Backlund ran for Congress in Connecticut's 1st congressional district. Mr. Backlund lost that election by a margin of 72%-28%, but the impact of his campaign was felt far and wide. Think about it - more than one-quarter of the electorate was fully prepared to send Bob Backlund to Washington. It really--it restored my faith in humanity.
My faith was later shaken when that Crazy Frog nonsense sold millions of copies around the world, but that's neither here nor there. The point is, and this is really the bottom line if you will, that I have decided against running for the presidency of the United States. Although I am perfectly qualified for the job in every way, I feel that there is one candidate who is also perfect. I will be announcing my endorsement of that candidate in the near future.
In the mean time I encourage all of you to study each of the candidates from an unbiased point of view. I want you to really take a good, honest look at each candidate whether big or small, male or female, black or white, gay or straight, Christian or pagan. Examine the candidates and if my upcoming endorsement matches your choice then you are an intelligent and informed voter. If not, then I fully encourage you to emigrate to Canada."
Cairo's most ardent supporters have now gathered outside of the pressroom. They begin chanting Cairo's name as security attempts to reason with them.
Bobby Cairo: "I also want to talk about the love of my life, Ms. Amy Winehouse. Amy is a wonderful, beautiful and talented woman, but as usual that doesn't matter to you thieving media scoundrels. You seek to portray Ms. Winehouse as a hopeless drug addict teetering on the verge of suicide. Have you no shame? Leave the poor woman be! She's under enough stress with her musical career. She doesn't need you merciless goons invading every aspect of her personal life, spreading these vicious, deceptive and evil rumors. Amy is a snuggly kind of woman, the kind of woman you would be proud to take home to mother. Sure she enjoys the fruits of narcotics, but she is a famous musician. You think the Beatles never dabbled in heroin or crack cocaine? Don't make me laugh!
For all these people who say that it's wrong for me to date a married woman, let me clue you fools into some reality. Amy's husband doesn't care that I plow his wife. He's not into chicks anyway. That guy splooges dudes for nickels and dimes outside Westminster Abbey. And unlike the unwashed masses, I don't need to fall in love with celebrities on the TV. I don't need any imaginary romance. I wouldn't jerk it to Sarah Jessica Parker or Jennifer Aniston if they paid me off. I'm living my dreams with Ms. Winehouse and I don't have to explain myself to anyone."
Cairo vigorously pounds the podium with his fist to emphasize his point.
Bobby Cairo: "Since we're here in New York, I want to say some things about the Knicks. I look at Isiah Thomas and I see the epitome of failed leadership. I see reckless spending. I see a complete lack of values. I see an administration devoid of any accountability. I see complacency in the face of overwhelming underachievement. The problem is that the New York Knicks are not a democracy. The fans can't "vote for change" as the liberals like to say. James Dolan is the proverbial benevolent dictator in command of this floundering abomination. Dolan is the only one with the authority to axe Isiah.
That's why I am joining Knicks fans the world over in imploring Mr. Dolan to "do the right thing", as legendary filmmaker and noted Knicks fan Spike Lee might say. Tangible progress cannot be achieved under the current leadership. Mr. Thomas' disgraceful performance as both GM and coach of this team has tarnished a proud franchise. Thomas' recent sexual harassment lawsuit was yet another shameful chapter in this seemingly never-ending New York Knicks horror tale. There will be no easy solution for the Knicks. A return to prominence remains a distant dream, regardless of who runs the team in the immediate future. However one factor is crucial and cannot be overlooked - Isiah must go!"
The entire room erupts in cheers.
Bobby Cairo: "I have finished reading my prepared statement. I will now take questions from the media."
The reporters clamor.
Bob Ryan: "Bob Ryan, Boston Globe. We can all agree with your anti-Isiah sentiment, but let's get back to your big announcement of your return to WCF. Tell me, what exactly is your main reason for returning to WCF and what are your goals in WCF, both immediate and long-term?"
Bobby Cairo: "My reason for returning to WCF is simple. A fire burns inside of me; a passion reigns supreme. I strive for total professional wrestling dominance. After the closure of WCF several months ago I signed with Global Wrestling Coalition. I had a very successful run with GWC, capturing the Television Title and literally redefining it. Ultimately I realized that GWC could never succeed WCF as the preeminent force in professional wrestling. That's why I forfeited my title. I knew that my appetite would not be satisfied by anything that Danny Vice's promotion could offer.
As far as my long-term goals are concerned, I wish to regain the WCF World Championship that I once held. I don't know the exact details of this WCF Classic. I don't know if the World Title will be on the line. I don't know if the winner will get a title shot, but my immediate goal is to win the Classic. If win the Classic that puts me in a great position regardless of stipulations. Next question, please."
Mike Lupica: "Mike Lupica, New York Daily News. What is your relationship with WCF management, specifically WCF owner Seth Lerch? Your departure from WCF over the summer was acrimonious to say the least, and WCF closed its doors shortly thereafter. Are you concerned that there will be lingering animosity between yourself and WCF management?"
Cairo chuckles then takes a sip of water.
Bobby Cairo: "Always busting my balls with the tough questions, eh Mike? Listen the relationship between myself and WCF management has never been stronger. It's true that I've been critical of Lerch's leadership style many times through the years. It's also true that I departed from WCF under very bizarre circumstances. But let me ask you this - if everybody who had a falling out with WCF management were blackballed from ever returning, who exactly would fill out the roster?"
The reporters laugh.
George Will: "George Will, Washington Post. It's well known that you're a close friend and loyal supporter of Congressman Tom Tancredo. Without distracting from the issue of your much-anticipated return to WCF, I would like to get your thoughts on Congressman Tancredo's announcement that he's dropping out of the race for the Republican presidential nomination? Also, what is your reaction to his subsequent endorsement of former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney?"
Bobby Cairo: "That's a good question, George. I'm glad you mentioned Congressman Tancredo. Tom and I are good friends; I've been a longtime supporter of his agenda. He's a man of integrity and principle. I'm not surprised by his decision to drop out of the race, though I am disappointed that his campaign was never able to pick up much steam. I do think Tom succeeded in making illegal immigration a cornerstone issue of this election cycle. I applaud Tom for not hesitating to criticize fellow Republicans, especially President Bush, for taking very weak positions on illegal immigration. As far as his endorsement of Governor Romney, I'll hold comment on any remaining candidates from any party until I make my own endorsement in the near future.
One more thing that I want to say is that we need more people like Tom Tancredo in Washington. I was watching C-SPAN yesterday and I saw that Congress was holding a hearing regarding the recent events in Pakistan. So I'm watching the hearing and in the background, a few feet behind the man who was testifying, I see something very unusual. I see an ugly middle-aged blonde woman - who, by the looks of it, could very well be related to Cindy Shee-Man - wearing an obnoxious pink, feathered hat with the words "Musharraf = Dictator" written in black marker.
This type of unbridled hooliganism should be outlawed from Capitol Hill. These are divisive, ignorant, partisan political tactics that seek only to further ravage an already divided nation. I am instructing Congress to pass legislature that would ban such conduct in the future. Slogans printed on hats and t-shirts or any other article of clothing do not constitute intelligent or substantive socio-political commentary. Such nonsense only trivializes and undermines important issues that affect our nation. Let's save the rhetoric for the dinner table and get back to the business of fixing America. Next question, please."
Jon Heyman: "Jon Heyman, Sports Illustrated. In the past you've spoken of the so-called pecking order in WCF. You've leveled allegations of bias at WCF management. Do you stand by those comments, and if so how does that impact your return to WCF?"
Bobby Cairo: "The sad truth is that every business organization in America and around the world faces these issues of corruption. During my contract negotiations I made it perfectly clear to WCF management that I would not tolerate shenanigans. I am a man of virtue and candor. I am splendid like the salt of the Earth. I believe that WCF has changed for the better because of my outspoken nature. I have highlighted various issues that are important to me. I believe that WCF management has addressed those issues to my satisfaction. There is a protocol that I have established and it's a protocol which has benefited every member of the WCF roster."
Dave Kartel: "Ok that's all, guys. We appreciate everybody coming out here this morning."
Flashbulbs go off as Cairo and Kartel exit the pressroom. Cairo greets his fans who are waiting for him outside. Cairo signs autographs and makes small talk for a few minutes before Kartel ushers him outside to the car.
Bobby Cairo: "I think that went pretty well."
Dave Kartel: "You're the man, Bobby. Cool as a cucumber."
Cairo and Kartel get into the Caddy. Cairo sorts through his CD changer and stops on Led Zeppelin's new Mothership greatest hits collection. "Good Times, Bad Times" cranks through the speakers. Cairo bangs his a few times then drives away, leaving a throng of screaming fans and reporters in his wake.
