Post by WCF Results Account on May 14, 2019 20:21:08 GMT -5
Live From New York City, New York
Saturday May 11th, 2019
??: You had one job!
??: It was the hardest part!
??: No, it was simple. Your job was to Shawshank Redemption us out of here. My job was to distract the guards while you do so with anecdotes and highlight clips from my wrestling days.
We begin in the jail cell of Jonny Fly. In jail since October of 2017, we appear to have intruded on a conversation regarding an escape. Fly sits on the top bunk the bed with his head in his hands. To the right of the bed is a huge Jonny Fly poster. To the right of the poster is Fly’s cell mate, Marty Logan. In jail for being the getaway driver – and considering he’s in prison, obviously a bad one – for a group accused of bank robberies in the Philadelphia area, Logan is mostly a harmless character. He’s so innocuous, in fact, that Fly has manipulated him into two items that are important to note for the rest of this story. First, for the last eighteen months he’s slowly been digging a tunnel through the cell wall ala Shawshank Redemption. Second, Fly has convinced him to rename himself ‘Seth Lerch’ – just for the LOL’s.
Fly: What the hell am I supposed to do now, Seth!?
Fly pops down from the top bunk and walks toward Seth and looms over him. Marty Logan aka Seth Lerch is no taller than 5’10 and has a slight build. Fly’s domineering presence causes him to look toward the ground, refusing to make eye contact with his larger antagonist.
Seth: Look, it’s not my fault the timeline got moved up. It’s also not my fault that the tunnel needs be so big for you fit through it. I’ve been working at it every day for years.
Fly: Oh, fuck off Seth. You think this has been easy for me? I’ve had to hang out in the guard’s quarters and share exploits from my wrestling career. I’ve had to sign autographs and take pictures. I’ve had to teach them wrestling moves and watch them practice them on you. Hell, I’ve even had to suffer through extra conjugal visits with your wife…
Seth: WAIT, WHAT!?
Fly: …it makes me sick. All these sacrifices I’ve made just for you not the finish the GOD. DAMN. TUNNEL.
Fly looks upward and sighs heavily.
Fly: I just pray that god gives me the strength not to snap your neck before you have a chance to fix this.
Seth: Wait, I didn’t know you were religious?
Fly: I’m in prison. Everyone finds God in prison. I’m just blending. Stay focused on how you are going to fix our problem.
Seth: I guess…I could keep digging. Maybe if you were able to get me a bigger spoon I could make faster progress?
Fly shakes his head 'no' vigorously.
Fly: Come on, Seth. How many girls must tell you that it’s not the size of your instrument but how you use it for you to understand the concept? The problem isn’t the spoon. The problem is you. I have given you a year and half to dig me a tunnel and you have failed miserably. I MUST get out of this week. Do you hear me? Preferably today. They say the ceremony is imminent and I'm GOING to be there. If you don’t have plan to finish that tunnel tonight, I guess I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands.
Seth cocks his head slightly to the right.
Seth: What do you mean? Do you have a plan?
Fly: I’m Jonny Fly. I always have a plan.
Seth: Well, are you going to tell...
BOOM! Fly cocks back and absolutely demolishes Seth with a vicious punch to the temple. Seth crumbles to the ground in a heap. Fly reaches down, picks him up, and lifts the poster on the wall to reveal the large opening in the wall. He shoves Seth into the tunnel and maneuvers him back as far as he can reach. He then closes off the hole from view by putting the poster back in place.
Fly: Ah. I’ve missed beating the shit out of a Seth Lerch. Good times.
Fly then walks to the front of his cell and yells out for everyone to hear…
Fly: GUARDS! GUARDS! COME QUICK! SETH LERCH IS TRYING TO ESCAPE! HE DUG A TUNNEL OR SOME SHIT LIKE HE'S ANDY FUCKIN' DUFRENSE AND HE’S HEADING THROUGH IT RIGHT NOW!
An alarm immediately goes off. The guards on duty immediately respond to Fly’s cell. They open the door and Fly points toward the poster. A group of five guards immediately tear down the poster and reveal the tunnel. They see a pair of legs about 10-12 feet away and begin furiously reaching in to grab them when…
The guards in the back of the group turn to see that Jonny Fly has just closed the cell door. Holding a pair of keys he pulled from the unsuspecting guards, he locks the cell door.
Fly winks, says nothing, and walks out of view. A few seconds later the lights in the prison go out and purple lights take their place. From somewhere unknown, “All Out Life” by Slipknot begins to play. Then, three words are projected in light across the back of Fly’s cell.
Slam: Endgame Night One Opening Segment
"Kids" by MGMT hits the arena speakers as the first of the two final episodes of WCF Slam is live from the famous arena in the world, Madison Square Garden in New York City, New York. It's a somber night but you wouldn't know it by the reaction of the WCF faithful, as the arena is shaking from the cheers and the applause and the foot stomping.
Crowd: DUB SEE EFF! DUB SEE EFF! DUB SEE EFF!
Zach Davis: Was...was that Jonny Fly?!
Freddy Whoa: It was! Whoa!
Zach Davis: Well as we try to process his daring escape from prison, we need to welcome all of you to the first night of Slam: Endgame, the two part mega event that sees the conclusion of nearly twenty years of the Wrestling Championship Federation. It's been a long, strange ride but I wouldn't have wanted to work anywhere else.
Freddy Whoa: Hear hear! But this isn't a night for tears or weeping, it's about putting on a show for the fans that have always supported us. We have some of WCF's finest along with some old faces returning to pay their respects to the place they called home. And boy do we have some great matches for you!
Zach Davis: Well said, Freddy. Now let's get to it!