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Post by Scott Slayer on Dec 16, 2018 20:42:26 GMT -5
New RP. Let me know what you think.
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Post by Alex Richards on Dec 16, 2018 20:59:05 GMT -5
You continue to improve Scott. I'm interested to see what you do with the shadows
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Post by Scott Slayer on Dec 16, 2018 21:04:32 GMT -5
Thank you Alex
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Post by Vincent Augustine on Dec 16, 2018 23:46:40 GMT -5
I like the opening of the RP, dug the shoot and was feeling the CD. I feel you have a great idea here and the angle you want to run with your character is good. Don't be afraid though to dive in deep, really explore it. Your back and forth dialogue was short and choppy back and forth between Carlisle and Scott. Don't be afraid to really expand and have the back and forth be more than a sentence and response, let it play out, feel natural. I like to write in the dark, no noise, and sometimes close my eyes, it allows me to picture the scene in my brain, almost visualize what you are writing, make it real, and then put it on paper.
You are growing my friend, and your RP's are becoming must read material for sure. Keep up the good work.
7.5/10
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