Post by WCF Results Account on Nov 27, 2018 23:56:15 GMT -5
11/26/18
Live From The Cross Insurance Center in Bangor, Maine
Ladder Match
If Jayson Price Wins, Papa Stache Has To Sign The Marriage Annulment Papers
Jayson Price vs Roid Rogers
We see a clipboard being raised above the ring, accompanied by an unnecessary dropping of the lights and dramatic music.
Zach Davis: Welcome to Slam! As you can see there is a clipboard being raised, which means that we are indeed going to be forced to see Jayson Price versus Roid Rogers for a second time. God I really thought management was joking about this.
Freddy Whoa: Well look at it this way Zach, at least we don't have to see Mama Mustache masturbating herself with a nightstick tonight.
Zach Davis: Can you guarantee me that? CAN YOU?!
"Explosia" by Gojira hits the arena speakers as the crowd lets out a very mixed reaction. Time passes and then the jumbotron flickers to life. Backstage we see Mama Mustache laying on a large piece of tarp, her lower half covered by a sheet. As the music continues playing, we see the sheet begin to shake as an object appears to be moving under it. Mama Stache begins wailing in orgasm as the shaking intensifies, culminating in an ear splitting shriek as Jayson Price crawls from out of the sheet, coated in juices.
Zach Davis: MY GOD THIS IS WORSE THAN THE NIGHTSTICK!
Price gets to his feet and walks toward the curtain, finally stepping out onto the stage. A very disoriented crowd remains silent as Price walks down the ramp toward the ring. He stops and eyes up a ladder before folding it up and sliding it into the ring.
Freddy Whoa: You can get up from the fetal position Zach, the worst is over.
Zach Davis: Actually I'll be doing commentary from down here for a bit, if you don't mind. It's just not safe up there.
Price goes to climb up onto the apron when he's suddenly attacked from behind.
Freddy Whoa: ROID ROGERS!
Rogers with a steel chair, which he uses to smash into Price's back a second time. Rogers a man possessed as he takes Price to the ground with chair shots to the back and then continues until the chair is bent into an L.
Freddy Whoa: You really should be up here Zach, this is the kind of action you like!
Zach Davis: Never! I'm safe down here with my puke bucket!
Freddy Whoa: Puke buck- HEY THAT'S MY DUFFEL BAG!
Roid tosses the destroyed chair aside and gets into the ring, where he demands the referee start the match. The referee refusing as Price hasn't made it to the ring yet, but Roid threatens him with some very disturbing things and the referee decides it's best to listen.
DING! DING! DING!
Freddy Whoa: And there's the start of the match....finally.
Roid grabs the ladder from the mat and lifts it, setting it up under the clipboard. Roid now flexing for the crowd as Price is still down at ringside, clutching his back in pain. Rogers making a big show of climbing the ladder, going one rung at a time, stopping to flex with each bit of progress. He's finally halfway up and Price is still down. Roid looks up at the clipboard that contains the paperwork that could annul his marriage and he starts climbing faster, intent to save his marriage.
Zach Davis: What's happening out there, Whoa? I can't see anything except you're weird shoes.
Freddy Whoa: They're orthopedic! And Roid Rogers is nearly up the ladder!
Rogers nearing the top when suddenly "Turbo Lover" hits the speakers. Mama Mustache comes charging out from the back and down the ramp. Roid still on the ladder, yelling for Mama to get out of here. Mama stops at ringside to check on Price, drawing the ire of Roid. Rogers now back down the ladder and to the mat, going to the ropes and out of the ring. Roid trying to talk some sense into Mama but all it gets him is a slap.
Crowd: Ooooo!
Mama now trying to help Price to his feet but Roid hits in the back of the head with an elbow. Roid again in Mama's face, telling her to get away. Mama with a second slap and then she goes to check on Price. Roid stares her down, looks at Price as he's holding his back, then back at the clipboard. Roid up onto the apron and Mama realizes he's going to win. Mama runs and grabs hold of his boot. Roid trying to break free and inadvertently catches Mama in the face with his foot. Mama has taken plenty of big things to the face but this one too much and she stumbles back and falls over. Roid looking back with regret and pain as Mama is laid out. Price crawls over to check on her as Roid, again filled with rage, turns and enters the ring.
Freddy Whoa: He's going for the clipboard!
Roid up the ladder as Price is too concerned about Mama to realize what's happening in the ring. Rogers grabs hold of the clipboard and the annulment papers as the referee calls for the bell.
Zach Davis: It's over? Who won?!
Freddy Whoa: Roid won! The marriage of Jayson Price and Mama Mustache isn't going to happen!
Rogers back down the ladder and out of the ring, papers in hand. He stops to take a look at Mama Mustache, a twinge of regret in his eyes, but he continues up the ramp and to the stage. Suddenly Papa Stache appears and stops Roid on the stage.
Freddy Whoa: And there's Papa Stache out to congra- wait. What's this!?
Papa Stache has a pen in hand and he pulls the clipboard from Roid's hands. Papa takes a look down the ramp at Price and Mama and then scribbles his name on the papers.
Freddy Whoa: PAPA MUSTACHE SIGNED THE ANNULMENT PAPERS ANYWAY! HIS MARRIAGE TO MAMA MUSTACHE IS OVER! WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?!
Papa Stache throws the clipboard to the ground and then walks off as a confused Roid follows him backstage. Slam goes to commercial as we get a shot of Mama Stache being helped up.