Post by Odin Balfore on Jan 31, 2018 14:29:02 GMT -5
RP 1
WCF – Slam
#1 Contenders Tournament – Finals
Odin Balfore
vs.
Bonnie Blue
wordcount:4423
_______________________________
Chapter I: 2 Paper Tigers
William the Behemoth. Champion: Scrub.
Mikey Extreme. Former champion: Scrub
Bonnie Blue: 5 foot 8. 138 pounds of twisted steel and sex appeal
LOL
Yah fuckin right.
Bonnie Blue, do yourself a favor. Roll over, play dead and wait for the beating to stop. I might stop. Spoilers: I won’t stop.
I spent the last two weeks mowing down champions, former champions and now – would be champions. It is getting disgraceful at this point. WCF throws low tier champions at me – they get wrekt. They throw real accomplished mid tier champions against me – they get wrekt. Now they want to throw accomplished world champions at me.
Steven Singh, take notes because this week is a same taste of what I’ll do to you next week at the Pay Per View. Trust me when I tell you – there is no clause in your contract that can save you or a provision in the WCF charter that will rescue it from Ragnarok. Steven Singh I’m a match away from giving you the biggest match in your career. Your greatest losing effort of all time. All I have to go is go through a Time Witch. This Sunday, not only am I going to tear through her like a discount condom- I am going to show paper champions like you- what I do to paper tigers like her. Because that is something you both have in common. Paper tigers in the storm with little bands of tin foil on. Good for nothing, except for attracting the lighting.
So as you both face down your impending doom against Ragnarok…
Good luck. May the God have mercy on your souls.
Spoilers: I won’t.
____________________________________
Chapter II: The Bonnie Blue Experience
WCF HQ.
There is a recording studio at WCF HQ where interviews can be conducted for various WCF projects. On this particular day, Vincent Buddy Roman was there, in the hot seat in all of his Jew glory. Black suit. Black tie. Buddy Roman is always in style. However, as he sits, sipping a bottle of water, he doesn’t know that the WCF cameras are rolling as a producer off screen can be heard talking to him.
“So.. yah. This is for the Bonnie Blue DVD.”
Romans eyes big out as he spit takes, wiping his mouth and screwing the cap back on the bottle. His brain nearly has a meltdown.
“Bonnie Blue? You guys are doing a DVD on Bonnie Blue? What is it, fifteen minutes long?”
Roman does a bad narration impression. “Bonnie Blue, she was kinda a thing. Maybe when she started but after that –“ Roman wobbles his hand. “ it gets a little dicey.”
Roman looks off screen and talks to the producer again. “ I mean, come on. I am a proud father, I love all my children but pah-lease. Bonnie Blue? Thee Bonnie Blue? The three time, back packed champion of the world in UCI? Lets just be honest, she’s carried men her whole life; so much she probably forgets what the ground looks like. But Champion?”
Buddy Shakes his head in the negative.
“What are we even celebrating; All of her close calls? All the times when ‘almost’ was one of her nick names? That time that Steve Harvey guest ring announced and goofed? If that’s supposed to be an accomplishment then get Night Rider on the phone because we got a deal for him.
Does Bonnie Blue have five good matches on her resume; I don’t think she does. I mean, I’m sure you guys are doing this because Bonnie Blue has some longevity compared to the majority of the roster but there’s nothing there. She’s just kinda sorta hung around. You’d think since 2015, she’d win something substantial.”
Roman shakes his him so vigorously in the negative that his neck fat jiggles.
“I would be remised to think of any match at any point in time that is even remotely considered to be any good of hers. Is Bonnie Blue good, sure - I mean – she’s alright – but she cant draw. Bonnie Blue cant draw the house.”
the index piggy went to market because Bonnie Blue is headlining some B Pay Per View and the deal on sliced roast beef was honestly, more engaging.
“She can’t sell tickets.”
The middle piggy stayed the fuck home and watched cinemax cuz Bonnie Blue cant draw so there goes 60 bucks.
“She can’t sell merch.”
The ring piggy ate that sucking roast beef because it’s a better way to spend his time rather than on WCF.shop.com because Bonnie Blue T-shirts only one 6XL because only sweaty fucking marks want to buy his shit on disco at 5.99 a whack, just so they can bust a nut in tribute to her . Oh, yah, that’ll spur this economy. Buddy Roman slowly kicks a box filled with 6XL T-shirts that he bought for later use off to the side.
“What good is he except for an enchantment talent and even then – the king Yung Adam will always be there.”
And the pinky little piggy went balls to the wall, shootin’ from the mother fuckin’ hip.
“You could remove Bonnie Blue from WCF history and no one cares. No one’s going to notice. There is no drastic change that’s going to take place. I could go back in time, step on a grain of sand on an uncharted island that no one’s ever heard of before or ever will and that would change entire throws of history. You could go back in time- remove Bonnie Blue from those tag team title matches with the Guardians or her matches with Beaver and I am absolutely certain that nothing changes.
Then what? She pins Kemp? The common cold could pin Kyle Kemp to the mat like this was 50 shades Darker. Don’t even stand here and tell me that defeating Kemp in 2018 is an accomplishment that anyone should be proud of. It took Kemp two years – a whole two years to get two more tag belts and he needed Teo Del Sol to do it- a man that Kemp clearly cannot defeat. That’s the measuring stick. Teo Del Sol is Kyle Kemps golden watch. That’s it. That’s as far as Kemps ever going to make it. S am I supposed to stand and applaud with tears in my eye that Bonnie Blue beat Kyle Kemp only to get aced and eighty-sixed out of the tournament by Odin Balfore? So while you sit there Mr. Producer and scratch your noggin and rack your brain over who to stretch fifteen minutes of fame into a highlight reel of Bonnie Blue – all you have to do is look to his opponent this week at Slam in the Bad Mother Fucker himself, Odin Balfore.
You want the best fifteen minutes of Bonnies career; just loop that match. Odin Balfore is going to drag her kicking and screaming into the best match she’s ever had. Period. End of story. One of the most lack luster athletes in WCF history beats Kyle kemp and Kyle Kemp wants to go from getting pinned by the Chili pepper pizza party – or whatever the hell the name is of Teos finish. Pah-lease. BUT! Bonnie Blue thinks that suddenlys he can stand face to face with the best big man in all of wrestling and KICK OUT of RAGNAROK? I’m sorry but what the fuck are you smokin’ cuz that just don’t make any sense to me. Kyle Kemp stalls out on the low card trash tier and suddenly we’re suppose to think that Bonnie beating him merits a match against the All Father? She thinks has what it takes to defeat the upper stratosphere? It’s like sending a paper airplane into space – it just cannot be done.
If you wana make a DVD, make one about Odin Balfore. The first ever Ultimate Showdown winner, the Gawd of WAR. The man who in 2011 beat this company down into its dying breath. Its no gimmick when Odin said last week that he culled the weak from the company. Sometimes you gotta rip out the daisy’s and the pansies if you want to get to the roses. Truth be told, Bonnie Blue is in for the surprise of her life. All her life he wanted to be a top contender. She went to UCI and got it. She should have stayed there.”
Buddy puts his hand to his mouth as if he made a gaff.
“Opp. She cant. It closed. Maybe she should go JOIN ACTION WRESTLING. Maybe then, she’ll get what she’s after.
That’s all she wants to be. A top guy, main eventer- hold that WCF championship up high. Make her dead gay clone daddy proud – whatever. But you see, at Slam, that was all fantasy. We can all score the game winning touchdown in the Super Bowl in overtime when you just came from behind 28 – 3..
in fantasy. Until its actually time to do that. Then what? I don’t know about you but I’d be on the sidelines, sharing my Tuna on Rye with the ground. And that’s exactly what Bonnie Blue going to do. You see, she worked himself up into a shoot. She said: ‘ yah I can be a top contender.’ “
Roman slaps his knee.
“Well, heres your chance. You want to try your hand at being a top guy, look, go see how glamourous it is when Odin Balfore collapses your lungs in front of three million people. WCF is back to pulling in record numbers because Odin Balfore is a daily feature. It wasn’t like that when Bonnie Blue was being featured because she isn’t a top talent. This match on Sunday will only solidify that fact.
Bonnie Blue isn’t a top talent.
Bonnie Blue isn’t a top talent.
Bonnie Blue isn’t a top talent.
Sunday night, she will finally realize that about herself and that everyone else was right all along when she gets thrown to WAR BALFORE and gets every bone in her body broken. When she gets hit with Ragnarok in the middle of the ring and that 3 count happens, so goes her very brief stint in the upper card. The main event only looks nice when you don’t have the cold grey eyes of the seven foot three hundred sixty pound Norse God staring back at you. A lesson that Steven Singh will find out all too soon himself. But as for that Bonnie Blue DVD, just use this. This is the most anyones ever talked about her. It’s the most praise that she’s ever gotten outside of a bathroom mirror and a gloryhole. She’s not likely to have that happen again.
Bonnie Blue is trash but she’s useful trash. Like a coffee can you use for a change jar or the cool whip bowl you use for salad. Or those popcorn tins you get at Christmas that you use for bathroom garbage.
She’s useful. She looks passable and no one is going to say anything to you otherwise if they see her around because they too understand that we’re still recovering from a Barry Oak presidency. Times are tough. The Bonnie Blue brand kitchen ware can be put away. It’s 2018. Trumps president. Break out the Odin Balfore fine china. Eat your off brand Hot Pockets in style.
Cuz next week, after Odin Balfore obliterates Bonnie Blue – it WAS SJW getting beaten like a Saigon whore with a garden hose. And that, my friend is when any of those three, William The Behemoth, Mikey Extreme, Bonnie Blue and then finally Steven Singh will have any kind of meaningful match in their entire life.
And WCF will never be the same.
Conquer. The. Hate.
___________________________________
Chapter III: The Z Kast
____________________________________
Chapter IV: Knock You Back Down
The Poon-cific Shore. Poonguinea
The All Father as a front row seat watching the setting sun that’s haunted in the pink and purple kush hues of all the slain on his island nation and the horizon is smoky. The All Father is lounging on a chair, dressed in white and gold board short. He has sunglasses perched on top of his brow as he sips at a Poon-a-coolatta from a skull ( that’s a pina-coolatta with some Poonguinea Barrel rum 900 proof. Kill a man dead. But for the All Father, it was a refreshing mixture. )
“Hey Bonnie. SJ-Dub – wanted you guys to see what a real world champion looks like on a beach.
( LOL when you shoulda been going to the fucking gym, you chewed gum left ovah. Done got got by Steven Singh. )
One that I own. In a nation that I own. One that carries a national identity that I started. And I’m here on this beach because this week much like last week – is a vacation. I couldn’t help, Bonnie but over hear and it struck odd with me that you went to such great lengths to shit talk some jobber fodder just to try and get yourself over. The what – three time tag team champion? Kyle Kemp? Please”
Scoffs The All Father as Images of The All Father and the Godfather with tag team gold shown in the reflection of the All Fathers sun glasses.
“ That’s cute. I think you said it yourself. All you did was mention that you wanted back and in two heart beats poof. There you are. Who do you think put that word in for you? Who do you think willed it so – I did. And you honestly think that, that, makes you great. Like I’m supposed to write home to my island nation that Bonnie Blue beat a couple of S.K-Rubs and some walk out - middle of the road champion. Now- I aint gonna knock on that because I know that the world needs chicks like you.
Solid hands. Good for baking.
that’s all you are. That’s about just as good as I can say about you. Your place is truthfully, in the midcard. Holding down mediocre tag teams like those crumb bum Guardians for a couple of months of hell- and I know that it was for you. You like to shine. Its not a matter of a spot light attention but you got to spread those golden wings. I understand that. I can respect that. So I know how much it killed you inside to have to carry guys from LOLMEGA to the Polar WHAA -antasm to Alex Richards and whoever else flocked you’re tits for a suckle. So this is where you come back too because at least you know the tag scene sucks here and you can get a quick boost out of a shit roster.
Truthfully though,The World isn’t for you. The WCF needs you in that midcard scene – like the Alpha Championship. It needs talent like you so that big men like me can dominate. But speaking of Alpha Champions.. “
The All Father looks around and sees no one else on the beach. Because he killed them all in fire and the soul crushing weight of a black hole.
“ I must be talking about me. The Alpha of Champions. You must be talking about the Bad Mother Fucker because whatever title I hold – I elevate it. You just keep shit stagnant. So what are you going to add if you were to fight Steven Singh and beat him; nothing? That’s exactly what I fucking thought. Nothing. You gone hold it and do the same. Damn. Thing. This. Mother. Fucker. Did.
Bitch and fuckin’ moan.
In that order.
Now don’t get it twisted. You are a fighting champion but unlike the shithole you been in or the New Blood you bathe in, there be real champions here. Scratch that. There be a real champion here – singular. The uncrowned world champion. The Bad Mother Fucker. However, I’ll hear it the same I heard it from everyone else. The way story you told it a few months ago. You bitched and moaned about Spencer Adams ( My boi and a Straight Up Savage ) ‘holding you down.’ But I know you Bonnie. You like to be held down. You like getting fucked. Its in your nature. You’re used to it. As strong and capable as you are and trust me when I tell you that you are – you get looped into your old routine. So do not worry about Slam, I’ll keep you in that routine. I’ll hold you down and fuck you till you don’t know why way is up. Just the natural order of things. The Strong doing what they can and the weak enduring what they must.
But you see, The All Father, the Bad Mother Fucker – The True Alpha of WCF can and will always rise above each and every one of you. That’s why Singh got to where he is. Ain’t none of you Bad Mother Fuckers who can go in that ring and start killin’ fools dead. He took advantage of the weakness in WCF and Bonnie, as good as you are – you are not that good.
Now I know SJ-Dub WAS runnin his jibbah-jabbah –johnny-sucker about the All Daddy and his showing at WAR but that is because SJ-Dub is a short term mental fucking defective who cannot be bothered to go back and look at the monumental history that comes with my name. Now look at where he is. I know that you are different and that you’ll claim total victory in this match and against singh but as long as The All Father keeps hisshit E-wrekt there ain’t no such thing such as total victory when the Bad Mother Fucker walks this Earth.
So Allow me, Bonnie, to re-introduce myself.
Names Odin Balfore.
That’s all you need to know. If you ignorant to my accomplishments in this industry then you are not worth the golden prize that you are seeking and I will be more than happy to end that quest right here in these sands.
Bonnie, you have big match experience but no experience against big names. You’ve never seen Odin Balfore up close and yet I’ve seen a million Bonnie Blues who’ve all claimed they were better than me but my first three months in WCF over shadow your near three years. So truthfully, go peddle your shitty gimmick elsewhere like ACTION WRESTLING. I’m sure they’d appreciate your bullshit because you eventually do the same thing you’re doing here- stalling out in the mid card against guys should be more than equip to defeat. Then you go up against the real men in this industry like myself – your battered and beaten like a Saigon Whore in a church bathroom with a cat-o-ninetails.
The way I look at it- I’m steam rolling this entire tournament. Which one of you is to stand in my way? William the Behemoth tried and look where that got him. The King of Darkness thought he could fell a Gawd an now he’s gotta go peddle the extreme twelve speed to the next fucking arena. Now you want to be next and you’re supposed to be smarter than that, Bonnie. I thought you were smarter than that but I guess not. At least know when you’re in over you damn head before you get it knocked clear of your shoulder pads. But whatever you do- do not let this serene and tranquil setting fool you. Do not let these board shorts and frozen drink fool you. I am here and I am all about this business and on Sunday night I will be all up in your business when I crack open your noggin. You thought you had a clear and clean shot at the Finals until you found out who your opponent was. But you hide behind that bravado. I like the taste of Bravado. I pour that shit on my pancakes like it was syrup. Just like I’m going to drain the blood from you on Sunday night.
Remember, you may think that you are better but I know that I am. Here’s the difference between you and I. I told Kemp that I dusted The WEEBOO-Hemoth on a Monday. Then I busted Extreme on a Tuesday. Bonnie, you’ll be on Wednesday.
Wodens-day. ODINS-DAY.
I beat them down like the midcard chumps that they are. Now I’m going to do the same to you. Because Champions. Strike. First.
Then we keep striking. We do not stop. I do not stop.
I’m the one advancing to Till Death Do Us Part. And you Bonnie know a little something about immortals. So you know that there is no stopping this.
I know you had your ticket punched and your bags packed. Had that Tardis packed tighter than your cunt but plans change. I’m the one going to Till Death Do Us Part and I’m going to be the one to slap Steven Singh, that worthless halfman off that ant hill of a mountain that he thinks he is on. Because this Bad Mother Fucker right here is the real Alpha – the real World Champion of WCF.
Last week you thought you had it all figured out - That’s how fucking fast plans change here in the DUB. The real Dub. The Dub that I created nearly ten years ago. Bonnie, this is not a place that you want to be in. You see. I didn’t want SJ-Dub as champion and I willed it so. You might have had a chance against SJ-Dub not certainly not against me or Steven Singh. At Till Death Do Us Part- if I have to run through and throw Steven Singh into the fucking Sun – I’ll do that. I’ll go through whoever I have to, to get that WCF Championship around my waist.
If you or anyone else has a problem with that, you can meet me in the middle of the ring and get the shit beaten out of you like the low tier scrub that you are getting fucking salty at the god damn truth that I speak from my lips.
And the truth of it is that in a few short weeks I. WILL. CHANGE. THE. WORLD. AGAIN.
Because Ragnarok… It just getting started.
So I have spoken.. so it shall… come to pass. “
The All Father puts his shades on and turns towards the horizon as a volcano can be seen exploding in the distance as a fire plum rains down around him. No matter what anyone thinks or says about the Bad Mother Fucker; destruction ALWAYS follows in his wake.
_____________________________________
Chapter V: The Creeping Feeling
Sweeping, choking miasmas flow like wine through the streets in various towns and cities across the world. This volatile, rage inducing sickness has left the weak dead or defenseless and the strong in a state of undeniable vengeance. This purple fog did its duty as a precursor to the Ragnarok event in places where The All Father was not, even though he can occupy all fixed locations and points in time but that was not his thing. He didn’t wear a scarf; he wasn’t a bitch. He was not about to fall down dead and come back somewhere as someone new- that would be most unthick. Instead the All Father caused more natural catastrophe, bigger and grander events that cause destruction and disarray. He was not some local dumpster fire that WCF was and still is- under the ‘leadership’ of Steven Singh. Fucking Cuck-ass lightweight. This is Ragnarok and Odin Balfore is the source of Ragnarok, not just its deliver. People are dying. Where is Steven Singh? Being a faggot somewhere. Probably river dancing. LOL Yah, that’s it. – Riverdancing – belly up. He’s about to go belly up, too. Its that creeping feeling in the back of his skull cap that tell him that Odin Balfore is one step away. One Bonnie Blue sized step from marching up to Steven Singh and showing him what greatness truly is. Steven Singh is known to steal. Cowards steal. They don’t lead. Odin Balfore conquers. He destroys. He’s burned this kingdom down once before and he has in the cusp of doing it again. And who is put in his path? The chrono-mancer and the fool. Those two paper tigers.
Maybe WCF, you should all think to yourself – was this the plan from the start? Yes. It was. Johnny Rabid knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing when he signed his name away in the blood of you innocent little fucbois. BAH! Ain’t none of you innocent; not no more. You all collectively brought this upon yourself. From the Everest to the Risen to everyone inbetween. If you all could do it better that Odin Balfore would not need to be here. I would not have needed to bring him here and I would not have to help kill what Seth Lerch built just to save it.
That’s the thing about Seth Lerch. He’s a small minded little ‘boudle’ with small minded little goals and schemes. That’s why he gets his company taken from him every two years. He gets drunk and bad, bad, BAADD, things happen. Well I just brought in the BAD MOTHER FUCKER and watch all the good that he does for WCF. Well, the talent but WCF as a whole. When WCF gets put into record profits. When WCF gets put into record TV and promotional deals. It’ll be because Johnny Rabid had the balls to kill WCF and resurrect it in his image.
And Ragnarok in his wake.
Johnny Rabid smiles from his penthouse office in WCF HQ which now is decorated in a traditional Japanese motif, overlooking the panic stricken and chaos laden streets of Reading, PA – Surveying all the damage he has brought on WCF and the world. In the name of capitalism.
WCF – Slam
#1 Contenders Tournament – Finals
Odin Balfore
vs.
Bonnie Blue
wordcount:4423
_______________________________
Chapter I: 2 Paper Tigers
William the Behemoth. Champion: Scrub.
Mikey Extreme. Former champion: Scrub
Bonnie Blue: 5 foot 8. 138 pounds of twisted steel and sex appeal
LOL
Yah fuckin right.
Bonnie Blue, do yourself a favor. Roll over, play dead and wait for the beating to stop. I might stop. Spoilers: I won’t stop.
I spent the last two weeks mowing down champions, former champions and now – would be champions. It is getting disgraceful at this point. WCF throws low tier champions at me – they get wrekt. They throw real accomplished mid tier champions against me – they get wrekt. Now they want to throw accomplished world champions at me.
Steven Singh, take notes because this week is a same taste of what I’ll do to you next week at the Pay Per View. Trust me when I tell you – there is no clause in your contract that can save you or a provision in the WCF charter that will rescue it from Ragnarok. Steven Singh I’m a match away from giving you the biggest match in your career. Your greatest losing effort of all time. All I have to go is go through a Time Witch. This Sunday, not only am I going to tear through her like a discount condom- I am going to show paper champions like you- what I do to paper tigers like her. Because that is something you both have in common. Paper tigers in the storm with little bands of tin foil on. Good for nothing, except for attracting the lighting.
So as you both face down your impending doom against Ragnarok…
Good luck. May the God have mercy on your souls.
Spoilers: I won’t.
____________________________________
Chapter II: The Bonnie Blue Experience
WCF HQ.
There is a recording studio at WCF HQ where interviews can be conducted for various WCF projects. On this particular day, Vincent Buddy Roman was there, in the hot seat in all of his Jew glory. Black suit. Black tie. Buddy Roman is always in style. However, as he sits, sipping a bottle of water, he doesn’t know that the WCF cameras are rolling as a producer off screen can be heard talking to him.
“So.. yah. This is for the Bonnie Blue DVD.”
Romans eyes big out as he spit takes, wiping his mouth and screwing the cap back on the bottle. His brain nearly has a meltdown.
“Bonnie Blue? You guys are doing a DVD on Bonnie Blue? What is it, fifteen minutes long?”
Roman does a bad narration impression. “Bonnie Blue, she was kinda a thing. Maybe when she started but after that –“ Roman wobbles his hand. “ it gets a little dicey.”
Roman looks off screen and talks to the producer again. “ I mean, come on. I am a proud father, I love all my children but pah-lease. Bonnie Blue? Thee Bonnie Blue? The three time, back packed champion of the world in UCI? Lets just be honest, she’s carried men her whole life; so much she probably forgets what the ground looks like. But Champion?”
Buddy Shakes his head in the negative.
“What are we even celebrating; All of her close calls? All the times when ‘almost’ was one of her nick names? That time that Steve Harvey guest ring announced and goofed? If that’s supposed to be an accomplishment then get Night Rider on the phone because we got a deal for him.
Does Bonnie Blue have five good matches on her resume; I don’t think she does. I mean, I’m sure you guys are doing this because Bonnie Blue has some longevity compared to the majority of the roster but there’s nothing there. She’s just kinda sorta hung around. You’d think since 2015, she’d win something substantial.”
Roman shakes his him so vigorously in the negative that his neck fat jiggles.
“I would be remised to think of any match at any point in time that is even remotely considered to be any good of hers. Is Bonnie Blue good, sure - I mean – she’s alright – but she cant draw. Bonnie Blue cant draw the house.”
the index piggy went to market because Bonnie Blue is headlining some B Pay Per View and the deal on sliced roast beef was honestly, more engaging.
“She can’t sell tickets.”
The middle piggy stayed the fuck home and watched cinemax cuz Bonnie Blue cant draw so there goes 60 bucks.
“She can’t sell merch.”
The ring piggy ate that sucking roast beef because it’s a better way to spend his time rather than on WCF.shop.com because Bonnie Blue T-shirts only one 6XL because only sweaty fucking marks want to buy his shit on disco at 5.99 a whack, just so they can bust a nut in tribute to her . Oh, yah, that’ll spur this economy. Buddy Roman slowly kicks a box filled with 6XL T-shirts that he bought for later use off to the side.
“What good is he except for an enchantment talent and even then – the king Yung Adam will always be there.”
And the pinky little piggy went balls to the wall, shootin’ from the mother fuckin’ hip.
“You could remove Bonnie Blue from WCF history and no one cares. No one’s going to notice. There is no drastic change that’s going to take place. I could go back in time, step on a grain of sand on an uncharted island that no one’s ever heard of before or ever will and that would change entire throws of history. You could go back in time- remove Bonnie Blue from those tag team title matches with the Guardians or her matches with Beaver and I am absolutely certain that nothing changes.
Then what? She pins Kemp? The common cold could pin Kyle Kemp to the mat like this was 50 shades Darker. Don’t even stand here and tell me that defeating Kemp in 2018 is an accomplishment that anyone should be proud of. It took Kemp two years – a whole two years to get two more tag belts and he needed Teo Del Sol to do it- a man that Kemp clearly cannot defeat. That’s the measuring stick. Teo Del Sol is Kyle Kemps golden watch. That’s it. That’s as far as Kemps ever going to make it. S am I supposed to stand and applaud with tears in my eye that Bonnie Blue beat Kyle Kemp only to get aced and eighty-sixed out of the tournament by Odin Balfore? So while you sit there Mr. Producer and scratch your noggin and rack your brain over who to stretch fifteen minutes of fame into a highlight reel of Bonnie Blue – all you have to do is look to his opponent this week at Slam in the Bad Mother Fucker himself, Odin Balfore.
You want the best fifteen minutes of Bonnies career; just loop that match. Odin Balfore is going to drag her kicking and screaming into the best match she’s ever had. Period. End of story. One of the most lack luster athletes in WCF history beats Kyle kemp and Kyle Kemp wants to go from getting pinned by the Chili pepper pizza party – or whatever the hell the name is of Teos finish. Pah-lease. BUT! Bonnie Blue thinks that suddenlys he can stand face to face with the best big man in all of wrestling and KICK OUT of RAGNAROK? I’m sorry but what the fuck are you smokin’ cuz that just don’t make any sense to me. Kyle Kemp stalls out on the low card trash tier and suddenly we’re suppose to think that Bonnie beating him merits a match against the All Father? She thinks has what it takes to defeat the upper stratosphere? It’s like sending a paper airplane into space – it just cannot be done.
If you wana make a DVD, make one about Odin Balfore. The first ever Ultimate Showdown winner, the Gawd of WAR. The man who in 2011 beat this company down into its dying breath. Its no gimmick when Odin said last week that he culled the weak from the company. Sometimes you gotta rip out the daisy’s and the pansies if you want to get to the roses. Truth be told, Bonnie Blue is in for the surprise of her life. All her life he wanted to be a top contender. She went to UCI and got it. She should have stayed there.”
Buddy puts his hand to his mouth as if he made a gaff.
“Opp. She cant. It closed. Maybe she should go JOIN ACTION WRESTLING. Maybe then, she’ll get what she’s after.
That’s all she wants to be. A top guy, main eventer- hold that WCF championship up high. Make her dead gay clone daddy proud – whatever. But you see, at Slam, that was all fantasy. We can all score the game winning touchdown in the Super Bowl in overtime when you just came from behind 28 – 3..
in fantasy. Until its actually time to do that. Then what? I don’t know about you but I’d be on the sidelines, sharing my Tuna on Rye with the ground. And that’s exactly what Bonnie Blue going to do. You see, she worked himself up into a shoot. She said: ‘ yah I can be a top contender.’ “
Roman slaps his knee.
“Well, heres your chance. You want to try your hand at being a top guy, look, go see how glamourous it is when Odin Balfore collapses your lungs in front of three million people. WCF is back to pulling in record numbers because Odin Balfore is a daily feature. It wasn’t like that when Bonnie Blue was being featured because she isn’t a top talent. This match on Sunday will only solidify that fact.
Bonnie Blue isn’t a top talent.
Bonnie Blue isn’t a top talent.
Bonnie Blue isn’t a top talent.
Sunday night, she will finally realize that about herself and that everyone else was right all along when she gets thrown to WAR BALFORE and gets every bone in her body broken. When she gets hit with Ragnarok in the middle of the ring and that 3 count happens, so goes her very brief stint in the upper card. The main event only looks nice when you don’t have the cold grey eyes of the seven foot three hundred sixty pound Norse God staring back at you. A lesson that Steven Singh will find out all too soon himself. But as for that Bonnie Blue DVD, just use this. This is the most anyones ever talked about her. It’s the most praise that she’s ever gotten outside of a bathroom mirror and a gloryhole. She’s not likely to have that happen again.
Bonnie Blue is trash but she’s useful trash. Like a coffee can you use for a change jar or the cool whip bowl you use for salad. Or those popcorn tins you get at Christmas that you use for bathroom garbage.
She’s useful. She looks passable and no one is going to say anything to you otherwise if they see her around because they too understand that we’re still recovering from a Barry Oak presidency. Times are tough. The Bonnie Blue brand kitchen ware can be put away. It’s 2018. Trumps president. Break out the Odin Balfore fine china. Eat your off brand Hot Pockets in style.
Cuz next week, after Odin Balfore obliterates Bonnie Blue – it WAS SJW getting beaten like a Saigon whore with a garden hose. And that, my friend is when any of those three, William The Behemoth, Mikey Extreme, Bonnie Blue and then finally Steven Singh will have any kind of meaningful match in their entire life.
And WCF will never be the same.
Conquer. The. Hate.
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Chapter III: The Z Kast
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Chapter IV: Knock You Back Down
The Poon-cific Shore. Poonguinea
The All Father as a front row seat watching the setting sun that’s haunted in the pink and purple kush hues of all the slain on his island nation and the horizon is smoky. The All Father is lounging on a chair, dressed in white and gold board short. He has sunglasses perched on top of his brow as he sips at a Poon-a-coolatta from a skull ( that’s a pina-coolatta with some Poonguinea Barrel rum 900 proof. Kill a man dead. But for the All Father, it was a refreshing mixture. )
“Hey Bonnie. SJ-Dub – wanted you guys to see what a real world champion looks like on a beach.
( LOL when you shoulda been going to the fucking gym, you chewed gum left ovah. Done got got by Steven Singh. )
One that I own. In a nation that I own. One that carries a national identity that I started. And I’m here on this beach because this week much like last week – is a vacation. I couldn’t help, Bonnie but over hear and it struck odd with me that you went to such great lengths to shit talk some jobber fodder just to try and get yourself over. The what – three time tag team champion? Kyle Kemp? Please”
Scoffs The All Father as Images of The All Father and the Godfather with tag team gold shown in the reflection of the All Fathers sun glasses.
“ That’s cute. I think you said it yourself. All you did was mention that you wanted back and in two heart beats poof. There you are. Who do you think put that word in for you? Who do you think willed it so – I did. And you honestly think that, that, makes you great. Like I’m supposed to write home to my island nation that Bonnie Blue beat a couple of S.K-Rubs and some walk out - middle of the road champion. Now- I aint gonna knock on that because I know that the world needs chicks like you.
Solid hands. Good for baking.
that’s all you are. That’s about just as good as I can say about you. Your place is truthfully, in the midcard. Holding down mediocre tag teams like those crumb bum Guardians for a couple of months of hell- and I know that it was for you. You like to shine. Its not a matter of a spot light attention but you got to spread those golden wings. I understand that. I can respect that. So I know how much it killed you inside to have to carry guys from LOLMEGA to the Polar WHAA -antasm to Alex Richards and whoever else flocked you’re tits for a suckle. So this is where you come back too because at least you know the tag scene sucks here and you can get a quick boost out of a shit roster.
Truthfully though,The World isn’t for you. The WCF needs you in that midcard scene – like the Alpha Championship. It needs talent like you so that big men like me can dominate. But speaking of Alpha Champions.. “
The All Father looks around and sees no one else on the beach. Because he killed them all in fire and the soul crushing weight of a black hole.
“ I must be talking about me. The Alpha of Champions. You must be talking about the Bad Mother Fucker because whatever title I hold – I elevate it. You just keep shit stagnant. So what are you going to add if you were to fight Steven Singh and beat him; nothing? That’s exactly what I fucking thought. Nothing. You gone hold it and do the same. Damn. Thing. This. Mother. Fucker. Did.
Bitch and fuckin’ moan.
In that order.
Now don’t get it twisted. You are a fighting champion but unlike the shithole you been in or the New Blood you bathe in, there be real champions here. Scratch that. There be a real champion here – singular. The uncrowned world champion. The Bad Mother Fucker. However, I’ll hear it the same I heard it from everyone else. The way story you told it a few months ago. You bitched and moaned about Spencer Adams ( My boi and a Straight Up Savage ) ‘holding you down.’ But I know you Bonnie. You like to be held down. You like getting fucked. Its in your nature. You’re used to it. As strong and capable as you are and trust me when I tell you that you are – you get looped into your old routine. So do not worry about Slam, I’ll keep you in that routine. I’ll hold you down and fuck you till you don’t know why way is up. Just the natural order of things. The Strong doing what they can and the weak enduring what they must.
But you see, The All Father, the Bad Mother Fucker – The True Alpha of WCF can and will always rise above each and every one of you. That’s why Singh got to where he is. Ain’t none of you Bad Mother Fuckers who can go in that ring and start killin’ fools dead. He took advantage of the weakness in WCF and Bonnie, as good as you are – you are not that good.
Now I know SJ-Dub WAS runnin his jibbah-jabbah –johnny-sucker about the All Daddy and his showing at WAR but that is because SJ-Dub is a short term mental fucking defective who cannot be bothered to go back and look at the monumental history that comes with my name. Now look at where he is. I know that you are different and that you’ll claim total victory in this match and against singh but as long as The All Father keeps hisshit E-wrekt there ain’t no such thing such as total victory when the Bad Mother Fucker walks this Earth.
So Allow me, Bonnie, to re-introduce myself.
Names Odin Balfore.
That’s all you need to know. If you ignorant to my accomplishments in this industry then you are not worth the golden prize that you are seeking and I will be more than happy to end that quest right here in these sands.
Bonnie, you have big match experience but no experience against big names. You’ve never seen Odin Balfore up close and yet I’ve seen a million Bonnie Blues who’ve all claimed they were better than me but my first three months in WCF over shadow your near three years. So truthfully, go peddle your shitty gimmick elsewhere like ACTION WRESTLING. I’m sure they’d appreciate your bullshit because you eventually do the same thing you’re doing here- stalling out in the mid card against guys should be more than equip to defeat. Then you go up against the real men in this industry like myself – your battered and beaten like a Saigon Whore in a church bathroom with a cat-o-ninetails.
The way I look at it- I’m steam rolling this entire tournament. Which one of you is to stand in my way? William the Behemoth tried and look where that got him. The King of Darkness thought he could fell a Gawd an now he’s gotta go peddle the extreme twelve speed to the next fucking arena. Now you want to be next and you’re supposed to be smarter than that, Bonnie. I thought you were smarter than that but I guess not. At least know when you’re in over you damn head before you get it knocked clear of your shoulder pads. But whatever you do- do not let this serene and tranquil setting fool you. Do not let these board shorts and frozen drink fool you. I am here and I am all about this business and on Sunday night I will be all up in your business when I crack open your noggin. You thought you had a clear and clean shot at the Finals until you found out who your opponent was. But you hide behind that bravado. I like the taste of Bravado. I pour that shit on my pancakes like it was syrup. Just like I’m going to drain the blood from you on Sunday night.
Remember, you may think that you are better but I know that I am. Here’s the difference between you and I. I told Kemp that I dusted The WEEBOO-Hemoth on a Monday. Then I busted Extreme on a Tuesday. Bonnie, you’ll be on Wednesday.
Wodens-day. ODINS-DAY.
I beat them down like the midcard chumps that they are. Now I’m going to do the same to you. Because Champions. Strike. First.
Then we keep striking. We do not stop. I do not stop.
I’m the one advancing to Till Death Do Us Part. And you Bonnie know a little something about immortals. So you know that there is no stopping this.
I know you had your ticket punched and your bags packed. Had that Tardis packed tighter than your cunt but plans change. I’m the one going to Till Death Do Us Part and I’m going to be the one to slap Steven Singh, that worthless halfman off that ant hill of a mountain that he thinks he is on. Because this Bad Mother Fucker right here is the real Alpha – the real World Champion of WCF.
Last week you thought you had it all figured out - That’s how fucking fast plans change here in the DUB. The real Dub. The Dub that I created nearly ten years ago. Bonnie, this is not a place that you want to be in. You see. I didn’t want SJ-Dub as champion and I willed it so. You might have had a chance against SJ-Dub not certainly not against me or Steven Singh. At Till Death Do Us Part- if I have to run through and throw Steven Singh into the fucking Sun – I’ll do that. I’ll go through whoever I have to, to get that WCF Championship around my waist.
If you or anyone else has a problem with that, you can meet me in the middle of the ring and get the shit beaten out of you like the low tier scrub that you are getting fucking salty at the god damn truth that I speak from my lips.
And the truth of it is that in a few short weeks I. WILL. CHANGE. THE. WORLD. AGAIN.
Because Ragnarok… It just getting started.
So I have spoken.. so it shall… come to pass. “
The All Father puts his shades on and turns towards the horizon as a volcano can be seen exploding in the distance as a fire plum rains down around him. No matter what anyone thinks or says about the Bad Mother Fucker; destruction ALWAYS follows in his wake.
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Chapter V: The Creeping Feeling
Sweeping, choking miasmas flow like wine through the streets in various towns and cities across the world. This volatile, rage inducing sickness has left the weak dead or defenseless and the strong in a state of undeniable vengeance. This purple fog did its duty as a precursor to the Ragnarok event in places where The All Father was not, even though he can occupy all fixed locations and points in time but that was not his thing. He didn’t wear a scarf; he wasn’t a bitch. He was not about to fall down dead and come back somewhere as someone new- that would be most unthick. Instead the All Father caused more natural catastrophe, bigger and grander events that cause destruction and disarray. He was not some local dumpster fire that WCF was and still is- under the ‘leadership’ of Steven Singh. Fucking Cuck-ass lightweight. This is Ragnarok and Odin Balfore is the source of Ragnarok, not just its deliver. People are dying. Where is Steven Singh? Being a faggot somewhere. Probably river dancing. LOL Yah, that’s it. – Riverdancing – belly up. He’s about to go belly up, too. Its that creeping feeling in the back of his skull cap that tell him that Odin Balfore is one step away. One Bonnie Blue sized step from marching up to Steven Singh and showing him what greatness truly is. Steven Singh is known to steal. Cowards steal. They don’t lead. Odin Balfore conquers. He destroys. He’s burned this kingdom down once before and he has in the cusp of doing it again. And who is put in his path? The chrono-mancer and the fool. Those two paper tigers.
Maybe WCF, you should all think to yourself – was this the plan from the start? Yes. It was. Johnny Rabid knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing when he signed his name away in the blood of you innocent little fucbois. BAH! Ain’t none of you innocent; not no more. You all collectively brought this upon yourself. From the Everest to the Risen to everyone inbetween. If you all could do it better that Odin Balfore would not need to be here. I would not have needed to bring him here and I would not have to help kill what Seth Lerch built just to save it.
That’s the thing about Seth Lerch. He’s a small minded little ‘boudle’ with small minded little goals and schemes. That’s why he gets his company taken from him every two years. He gets drunk and bad, bad, BAADD, things happen. Well I just brought in the BAD MOTHER FUCKER and watch all the good that he does for WCF. Well, the talent but WCF as a whole. When WCF gets put into record profits. When WCF gets put into record TV and promotional deals. It’ll be because Johnny Rabid had the balls to kill WCF and resurrect it in his image.
And Ragnarok in his wake.
Johnny Rabid smiles from his penthouse office in WCF HQ which now is decorated in a traditional Japanese motif, overlooking the panic stricken and chaos laden streets of Reading, PA – Surveying all the damage he has brought on WCF and the world. In the name of capitalism.