Post by Damian Simmons on Aug 8, 2017 12:53:05 GMT -5
Tanner Tall, Derrick Tuff, and Nick Stuff are walking through an abandoned film lot in the dead of night. The only souls around for miles.
Tanner Tall. Are you sure this is a good idea? What if we get caught?
Derrick Tuff. Yep.
Nick Stuff. ... Yep what?
Derrick Tuff. Yep.
Nick Stuff. Cool. So, why are we here?
Derrick Tuff. Don't you know where this is? This was the sight of one of the best wrestling shows in history. Just take in the legacy.
Nick Stuff. Non-descriptive wrestling show, yeah I remember.
Tanner Tall. Oh, I 'member!
The trio walked for a long time until they finally came across a building that was especially decrepit. An old film set with a red 12 on the side.
Derrick Tuff. Ah... here we are. Can you feel the aura? The history behind this building is amazing...
Tanner Tall. Uh... yeah, I guess.
Nick Stuff. Are you sure this show had any sort of credibility? You tend to over inflate these things.
Derrick Tuff. Shut up, double stuf. Let's just go in.
Tall and Tuff walk in. Confused at the insult, Stuff follows.
The three men walked through the dark, rotting building, jumping at every sound they heard. Walking past sets of speakers, microphones, even a forgotten pair of shoes.
Nick Stuff. *on his cellphone* "three pro wrestlers found dead: building collapse". Imagine that headline.
Derrick Tuff. I'd rather not, you're the only one here who really cares about news head-
Tuff is interrupted by a loud gasp by Stuff.
Tanner Tall. Guys, let's just-
Nick Stuff. Shut your mouth, big body, small brain! Listen to this! Atomic Rockers and Johnny Alpha vs Tall, Tuff, & Stuff and Chris Cardell!
Derrick Tuff. Who?
Tanner Tall. I only know two of those names.
Nick Stuff. What-... three of those names are ours. How do you only know two? Look, it doesn't matter who our opponents are, we're booked!
Tanner Tall. Cool!
Derrick Tuff. Oh, and look at that. We're already in a studio, let's film some promos.
Nick Stuff. Decrepit studio, most likely gonna either get stabbed by squatters or have the roof cave in on us. But, fine. I'm just the manager, just the guy who makes important decisions for you.
Derrick Tuff. Great! Let's find the interview set.
The trio walked for a while, getting lost in the small studio. Somehow, the three men ended up in the basement.
Nick Stuff. Does this place even have a basement??
Tanner Tall. Obviously, or else we wouldn't be here.
Derrick Tuff. Well, there's some cans of food, cots, gas masks, I think it's a bomb shelter.
Nick Stuff. Of course it is. Let's get the hell out of here.
Derrick Tuff. To the interview area!
Nick Stuff. I kinda meant getting out of-
Derrick Tuff. Interview area!
Nick Stuff. Why are we friends?
Tuff led the team through the pitch black building, only illuminating the way with Stuff's phone flashlight. They managed to find their way back to the main floor, none of the three ever noticed a flight of stairs or even a slight incline. No one could think of a plausible reason why. Tanner suggested that it was the author being a lazy storyteller, but again, not plausible.
They eventually found their way through the curtain, leading to the main arena. On the other side, a rusted, metal guardrail, a stage and ramp with multiple holes in it, and a barely recognizable ring. No ropes, a ring post knocked over, the mat was torn to shreds, most of the planks taken out, and the skirts having been stolen.
Tuff stood mesmerized by the sight.
Derrick Tuff. Wow... the legendary arena... Who could possibly forget the great matches between Captain Insano and Supertramp that took place in this very building?
Nick Stuff. You mean the Supertramp, the guy who's entire 11 year career is so obviously fabricated and easily debunked?
Tanner Tall. Wasn't Captain Insano a wrestler from The Waterboy?
Derrick Tuff. JUST LET ME HAVE THIS, YOU CUCKS!
Tuff storms to the back, sulking.
Nick Stuff. ...This place looks like it'll barely hold hundred people.
Tanner Tall. Hey, it's more people than we've ever competed in front of.
Tuff runs through the curtain, interrupting the conversation.
Derrick Tuff. I found it! I found the interview area!
Tuff runs back through the curtain, the other two following suit. The three of the, ran to a small corner on the studio where a few stage lights were set up in front of a plain white background.
Derrick Tuff. Stuff, get the lights!
Nick Stuff. Do you really think these lights will- *Stuff plugs in the lights, bringing them to life*
Derrick Tuff. You were saying?
Tanner Tall. Plot convenience. I'm telling you, this writer is so lazy.
Derrick Tuff. Oh my god, what are you talking about? You know, it doesn't matter. Get our opponents' profiles on your phone. We'll get this started.
Nick Stuff. *types something into his phone* Done.
Derrick Tuff. Okay, cool. I'm thinking Road Warriors today.
Tanner Tall. Okay, cool. Welcome to the Wasteland!
Derrick Tuff. I said Road Warriors, not Road Warriors wannabes.
Tanner Tall. Ohhh okay! People power!
Nick Stuff. Wrong Laurinaitis, Tall.
Tanner Tall. My voice box is not inflamed, Stuff.
Nick Stuff. That's laryngitis, you stupid bastich! God, I was in college once! I-I had an aspiring future ahead of me! Then I met you guys and now I'm a freaking wrestling manager, managing two guys with a combined IQ of negative eight! I swear to god I can feel my brain cells dying with every word out of your idiotic mouths! Every time we're driving to the next town I just wanna jerk the wheel into a god dang bridge abutment!
A long silence falls upon the room, everyone soaking in what just happened.
Derrick Tuff. So... You get it all out of your system?
Nick Stuff. Yeah... I'm good...
Derrick Tuff. Good, now can we get to our promos?
Tanner Tall. Let's do it!
Derrick Tuff. Okay, gimme the phone. I'll start us off.
Nick hands the phone off to Derrick, Tuff clears his throat.
Derrick Tuff. Hey, let me tell you something! If our opponents had any sort of common sense, they would head for the hills! But they don't! So we're gonna have to teach you a lesson the hard way! Tell 'em, Tanner!
Tanner Tall. Listen here... *looks closely at screen* Jukebox... Rocker... what the hell is this?
Derrick Tuff. Don't break character!
Tanner Tall. You read this shit and tell me if it makes sense to you.
Tuff takes the phone from Tall. Tuff begins to read the names of their opponents, a look of pure confusion becomes immediately evident.
Derrick Tuff. Jukebox Rocker Rock and Roll and Too Dope for VH1 Boom Box Empson...
Nick Stuff. Are you sure you're not reading one of those annoying popups?
Derrick Tuff. No! These guys actually call themselves those names!
Nick Stuff. No way. That's ridiculous.
Derrick Tuff shows his manager the phone, causing a wave of laughter from the three men.
Tanner Tall. Did they use one of those stupid name generators or something??
Nick Stuff. *in between fits of laughter* I don't know!!
Derrick Tuff. *trying to calm down* okay, guys.. seriously, I like their names... in fact, I wanna change mine to a similar style. From now on, I will now be called NFL Falcons Packers Chiefs Gridiron Sunday!
The three erupt into laughter again.
Nick Stuff. I can't breathe!
Derrick Tuff. Wait, wait, wait. They have a manager, too.
Tanner Tall. Oh my god...
Derrick Tuff. Simply Delicious Cherry Kisses.
Tanner Tall. Is that the name of the manager or their favorite flavor of soda?
Nick Stuff. It sounds like a scent of a candle from Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
Derrick Tuff. It says here that they're good at guitar and singing.
Nick Stuff. Clearly not, or else they'd be doing that instead of wrestling.
Derrick Tuff. Okay, let's be serious for a sec. it seems like the only thing they have going for them is the attractiveness of their manager. If we can avoid that, we should have no problem with them.
Nick Stuff. Well, guys. I guess I'll take one for the team and keep her distracted.
Tanner Tall. My hero.
Nick Stuff. Our teammate, Chris Cardell just posted on twitter saying they're just ripping off the Rockers.
Derrick Tuff. *laughing* that's so true.
Tanner Tall. Hey, that's our gimmick! We steal the gimmicks!
Derrick Tuff. They're worse than we are.
Suddenly, the building's walls begin to shake slowly, probably caused by the loud commotion going on, like an avalanche.
Nick Stuff. See?? This place is gonna cave any second. Can we please leave now?
Derrick Tuff. Wait! Don't those two gimmick thieves have a partner, too?
Nick Stuff. Yeah, some guy, Johnny Ace or whatever, let's go!
Tanner Tall. So he's stealing a gimmick too!
Nick Stuff. Ugh... I'm not getting out of here until we do something to him too, am I?
Derrick Tuff. Right! Pull him up!
Begrudgingly, Stuff typed something into his phone and brought up the profile of Johnny Alpha. The three gathered around the small screen, expectantly.
Tanner Tall. Is that it?
Nick Stuff. That's it.
Derrick Tuff. There's like, nothing to him. Which Atlanta is he from? Georgia? Arkansas? California? Idaho? Nova Scotia? Nicaragua???
Nick Stuff. Why do you know so many different Atlantas???
Derrick Tuff. A boy needs a hobby, all right? Get off my back! I got more! You want more?! There's an Atlanta in Wisconsin! It's worse than Springfield for gods sake! The Simpsons should've been based in a god forsaken Atlanta!
Tanner Tall. Tuffy boy, breathe! It's okay! Breathe... breathe.
Tuff inhales deeply, holds it, then exhales. He repeats the process until he's calmed down.
Tanner Tall. Tall good?
Derrick Tuff. Tall good..
Nick Stuff. Anyway, back to Alpha.
Derrick Tuff. Yeah, I was gonna say, he just calls himself "the alpha". What does that mean? The alpha male? Leader of the pack, sorta thing?
Tanner Tall. Certainly doesn't look like it. He looks like the kind of guy who dresses in a bear suit, teams with a guy with a cool goatee and hangs around an A-list celebrity in his entourage.
Nick Stuff. Oddly specific, yet it oddly makes sense.
Tanner Tall. And look at this, everything is bland except for his moveset, which is polar opposite.
Derrick Tuff. Yeah, this guy has a ton of finishing moves as his regular repertoire. Talk about overkill.
Nick Stuff. Probably doesn't even preform them correctly. Like a backyarder doing moves on a trampoline with a wrestle buddy.
Tanner Tall. Oh I love wrestle buddies!
Derrick Tuff. Me too! I have all of them, even the rare Hulk Hogan!
Nick Stuff. Off topic, again.
Derrick Tuff. Y'know, we said he didn't copy Johnny Ace, but the names of his signature moves are on par with ol' People Power himself.
Tanner Tall. Alpha Crusher?
Derrick Tuff. Ace Crusher.
Tanner Tall. Alpha Driver?
Derrick Tuff. Ace Crusher II. So, it's a bit more creative, but not by much.
The building shakes a little harder.
Nick Stuff. So are we done yet?
Derrick Tuff. I mean, we should talk a bit more about Johnny No Charisma, but there's really not much else to say. We've already gone through pretty much of note about him.
Tanner Tall. Which isn't much.
Nick Stuff. Okay, great. Then let's get out of here!
Derrick Tuff. Come on, Nick. We're just fine. Nothing's gonna-
A chunk of the ceiling comes crashing to the floor, within inches from Tuff.
Derrick Tuff. Yeah, okay, let's go.
The three men begin to book it towards the exit. Barely avoiding the falling debris. A piece of the hard ceiling dropped and fell square on Tanner's head, however he didn't seem to feel it.
The trio pushed themselves through the narrow door, all three at once. Dropping to the ground to catch their breath, Tuff turns to face the building he, for some reason, had immense respect for.
Derrick Tuff. See? It's fine! The building is perfectly-
The entire building collapses, sending rubble and dust flying in all directions.
Derrick Tuff. ...
Nick Stuff. Derrick, you okay?
Derrick Tuff. ...
Tanner Tall. He's fine. Look at those eyes, he's good.
Derrick Tuff. NOOOO!!! Not Studio Twelve! NOOO!!!!
Nick Stuff. He's not okay! Repeat, not okay!
Tanner Tall. I know, Stuff, I can see!
Derrick Tuff. It's gone! Oh my god it's all gone! What the fuck!!
Tuff continues to freak out, so much so that Tanner and Nick had to physically grab him and carry him off. Once they got to their truck, Tall put Tuff in a sleeper hold, applying pressure until he eventually passed out.
Tanner Tall. Sleep well, sweet prince..
Nick Stuff. Weird. That was weird, what you just said. Get in, let's get out of here.
Tall throws Tuff's body into the back seat and he himself gets into the passenger seat. The three drove off, heading towards the sun, which was just breaching the horizon.
-FIN-
Tanner Tall. Are you sure this is a good idea? What if we get caught?
Derrick Tuff. Yep.
Nick Stuff. ... Yep what?
Derrick Tuff. Yep.
Nick Stuff. Cool. So, why are we here?
Derrick Tuff. Don't you know where this is? This was the sight of one of the best wrestling shows in history. Just take in the legacy.
Nick Stuff. Non-descriptive wrestling show, yeah I remember.
Tanner Tall. Oh, I 'member!
The trio walked for a long time until they finally came across a building that was especially decrepit. An old film set with a red 12 on the side.
Derrick Tuff. Ah... here we are. Can you feel the aura? The history behind this building is amazing...
Tanner Tall. Uh... yeah, I guess.
Nick Stuff. Are you sure this show had any sort of credibility? You tend to over inflate these things.
Derrick Tuff. Shut up, double stuf. Let's just go in.
Tall and Tuff walk in. Confused at the insult, Stuff follows.
The three men walked through the dark, rotting building, jumping at every sound they heard. Walking past sets of speakers, microphones, even a forgotten pair of shoes.
Nick Stuff. *on his cellphone* "three pro wrestlers found dead: building collapse". Imagine that headline.
Derrick Tuff. I'd rather not, you're the only one here who really cares about news head-
Tuff is interrupted by a loud gasp by Stuff.
Tanner Tall. Guys, let's just-
Nick Stuff. Shut your mouth, big body, small brain! Listen to this! Atomic Rockers and Johnny Alpha vs Tall, Tuff, & Stuff and Chris Cardell!
Derrick Tuff. Who?
Tanner Tall. I only know two of those names.
Nick Stuff. What-... three of those names are ours. How do you only know two? Look, it doesn't matter who our opponents are, we're booked!
Tanner Tall. Cool!
Derrick Tuff. Oh, and look at that. We're already in a studio, let's film some promos.
Nick Stuff. Decrepit studio, most likely gonna either get stabbed by squatters or have the roof cave in on us. But, fine. I'm just the manager, just the guy who makes important decisions for you.
Derrick Tuff. Great! Let's find the interview set.
The trio walked for a while, getting lost in the small studio. Somehow, the three men ended up in the basement.
Nick Stuff. Does this place even have a basement??
Tanner Tall. Obviously, or else we wouldn't be here.
Derrick Tuff. Well, there's some cans of food, cots, gas masks, I think it's a bomb shelter.
Nick Stuff. Of course it is. Let's get the hell out of here.
Derrick Tuff. To the interview area!
Nick Stuff. I kinda meant getting out of-
Derrick Tuff. Interview area!
Nick Stuff. Why are we friends?
Tuff led the team through the pitch black building, only illuminating the way with Stuff's phone flashlight. They managed to find their way back to the main floor, none of the three ever noticed a flight of stairs or even a slight incline. No one could think of a plausible reason why. Tanner suggested that it was the author being a lazy storyteller, but again, not plausible.
They eventually found their way through the curtain, leading to the main arena. On the other side, a rusted, metal guardrail, a stage and ramp with multiple holes in it, and a barely recognizable ring. No ropes, a ring post knocked over, the mat was torn to shreds, most of the planks taken out, and the skirts having been stolen.
Tuff stood mesmerized by the sight.
Derrick Tuff. Wow... the legendary arena... Who could possibly forget the great matches between Captain Insano and Supertramp that took place in this very building?
Nick Stuff. You mean the Supertramp, the guy who's entire 11 year career is so obviously fabricated and easily debunked?
Tanner Tall. Wasn't Captain Insano a wrestler from The Waterboy?
Derrick Tuff. JUST LET ME HAVE THIS, YOU CUCKS!
Tuff storms to the back, sulking.
Nick Stuff. ...This place looks like it'll barely hold hundred people.
Tanner Tall. Hey, it's more people than we've ever competed in front of.
Tuff runs through the curtain, interrupting the conversation.
Derrick Tuff. I found it! I found the interview area!
Tuff runs back through the curtain, the other two following suit. The three of the, ran to a small corner on the studio where a few stage lights were set up in front of a plain white background.
Derrick Tuff. Stuff, get the lights!
Nick Stuff. Do you really think these lights will- *Stuff plugs in the lights, bringing them to life*
Derrick Tuff. You were saying?
Tanner Tall. Plot convenience. I'm telling you, this writer is so lazy.
Derrick Tuff. Oh my god, what are you talking about? You know, it doesn't matter. Get our opponents' profiles on your phone. We'll get this started.
Nick Stuff. *types something into his phone* Done.
Derrick Tuff. Okay, cool. I'm thinking Road Warriors today.
Tanner Tall. Okay, cool. Welcome to the Wasteland!
Derrick Tuff. I said Road Warriors, not Road Warriors wannabes.
Tanner Tall. Ohhh okay! People power!
Nick Stuff. Wrong Laurinaitis, Tall.
Tanner Tall. My voice box is not inflamed, Stuff.
Nick Stuff. That's laryngitis, you stupid bastich! God, I was in college once! I-I had an aspiring future ahead of me! Then I met you guys and now I'm a freaking wrestling manager, managing two guys with a combined IQ of negative eight! I swear to god I can feel my brain cells dying with every word out of your idiotic mouths! Every time we're driving to the next town I just wanna jerk the wheel into a god dang bridge abutment!
A long silence falls upon the room, everyone soaking in what just happened.
Derrick Tuff. So... You get it all out of your system?
Nick Stuff. Yeah... I'm good...
Derrick Tuff. Good, now can we get to our promos?
Tanner Tall. Let's do it!
Derrick Tuff. Okay, gimme the phone. I'll start us off.
Nick hands the phone off to Derrick, Tuff clears his throat.
Derrick Tuff. Hey, let me tell you something! If our opponents had any sort of common sense, they would head for the hills! But they don't! So we're gonna have to teach you a lesson the hard way! Tell 'em, Tanner!
Tanner Tall. Listen here... *looks closely at screen* Jukebox... Rocker... what the hell is this?
Derrick Tuff. Don't break character!
Tanner Tall. You read this shit and tell me if it makes sense to you.
Tuff takes the phone from Tall. Tuff begins to read the names of their opponents, a look of pure confusion becomes immediately evident.
Derrick Tuff. Jukebox Rocker Rock and Roll and Too Dope for VH1 Boom Box Empson...
Nick Stuff. Are you sure you're not reading one of those annoying popups?
Derrick Tuff. No! These guys actually call themselves those names!
Nick Stuff. No way. That's ridiculous.
Derrick Tuff shows his manager the phone, causing a wave of laughter from the three men.
Tanner Tall. Did they use one of those stupid name generators or something??
Nick Stuff. *in between fits of laughter* I don't know!!
Derrick Tuff. *trying to calm down* okay, guys.. seriously, I like their names... in fact, I wanna change mine to a similar style. From now on, I will now be called NFL Falcons Packers Chiefs Gridiron Sunday!
The three erupt into laughter again.
Nick Stuff. I can't breathe!
Derrick Tuff. Wait, wait, wait. They have a manager, too.
Tanner Tall. Oh my god...
Derrick Tuff. Simply Delicious Cherry Kisses.
Tanner Tall. Is that the name of the manager or their favorite flavor of soda?
Nick Stuff. It sounds like a scent of a candle from Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
Derrick Tuff. It says here that they're good at guitar and singing.
Nick Stuff. Clearly not, or else they'd be doing that instead of wrestling.
Derrick Tuff. Okay, let's be serious for a sec. it seems like the only thing they have going for them is the attractiveness of their manager. If we can avoid that, we should have no problem with them.
Nick Stuff. Well, guys. I guess I'll take one for the team and keep her distracted.
Tanner Tall. My hero.
Nick Stuff. Our teammate, Chris Cardell just posted on twitter saying they're just ripping off the Rockers.
Derrick Tuff. *laughing* that's so true.
Tanner Tall. Hey, that's our gimmick! We steal the gimmicks!
Derrick Tuff. They're worse than we are.
Suddenly, the building's walls begin to shake slowly, probably caused by the loud commotion going on, like an avalanche.
Nick Stuff. See?? This place is gonna cave any second. Can we please leave now?
Derrick Tuff. Wait! Don't those two gimmick thieves have a partner, too?
Nick Stuff. Yeah, some guy, Johnny Ace or whatever, let's go!
Tanner Tall. So he's stealing a gimmick too!
Nick Stuff. Ugh... I'm not getting out of here until we do something to him too, am I?
Derrick Tuff. Right! Pull him up!
Begrudgingly, Stuff typed something into his phone and brought up the profile of Johnny Alpha. The three gathered around the small screen, expectantly.
Tanner Tall. Is that it?
Nick Stuff. That's it.
Derrick Tuff. There's like, nothing to him. Which Atlanta is he from? Georgia? Arkansas? California? Idaho? Nova Scotia? Nicaragua???
Nick Stuff. Why do you know so many different Atlantas???
Derrick Tuff. A boy needs a hobby, all right? Get off my back! I got more! You want more?! There's an Atlanta in Wisconsin! It's worse than Springfield for gods sake! The Simpsons should've been based in a god forsaken Atlanta!
Tanner Tall. Tuffy boy, breathe! It's okay! Breathe... breathe.
Tuff inhales deeply, holds it, then exhales. He repeats the process until he's calmed down.
Tanner Tall. Tall good?
Derrick Tuff. Tall good..
Nick Stuff. Anyway, back to Alpha.
Derrick Tuff. Yeah, I was gonna say, he just calls himself "the alpha". What does that mean? The alpha male? Leader of the pack, sorta thing?
Tanner Tall. Certainly doesn't look like it. He looks like the kind of guy who dresses in a bear suit, teams with a guy with a cool goatee and hangs around an A-list celebrity in his entourage.
Nick Stuff. Oddly specific, yet it oddly makes sense.
Tanner Tall. And look at this, everything is bland except for his moveset, which is polar opposite.
Derrick Tuff. Yeah, this guy has a ton of finishing moves as his regular repertoire. Talk about overkill.
Nick Stuff. Probably doesn't even preform them correctly. Like a backyarder doing moves on a trampoline with a wrestle buddy.
Tanner Tall. Oh I love wrestle buddies!
Derrick Tuff. Me too! I have all of them, even the rare Hulk Hogan!
Nick Stuff. Off topic, again.
Derrick Tuff. Y'know, we said he didn't copy Johnny Ace, but the names of his signature moves are on par with ol' People Power himself.
Tanner Tall. Alpha Crusher?
Derrick Tuff. Ace Crusher.
Tanner Tall. Alpha Driver?
Derrick Tuff. Ace Crusher II. So, it's a bit more creative, but not by much.
The building shakes a little harder.
Nick Stuff. So are we done yet?
Derrick Tuff. I mean, we should talk a bit more about Johnny No Charisma, but there's really not much else to say. We've already gone through pretty much of note about him.
Tanner Tall. Which isn't much.
Nick Stuff. Okay, great. Then let's get out of here!
Derrick Tuff. Come on, Nick. We're just fine. Nothing's gonna-
A chunk of the ceiling comes crashing to the floor, within inches from Tuff.
Derrick Tuff. Yeah, okay, let's go.
The three men begin to book it towards the exit. Barely avoiding the falling debris. A piece of the hard ceiling dropped and fell square on Tanner's head, however he didn't seem to feel it.
The trio pushed themselves through the narrow door, all three at once. Dropping to the ground to catch their breath, Tuff turns to face the building he, for some reason, had immense respect for.
Derrick Tuff. See? It's fine! The building is perfectly-
The entire building collapses, sending rubble and dust flying in all directions.
Derrick Tuff. ...
Nick Stuff. Derrick, you okay?
Derrick Tuff. ...
Tanner Tall. He's fine. Look at those eyes, he's good.
Derrick Tuff. NOOOO!!! Not Studio Twelve! NOOO!!!!
Nick Stuff. He's not okay! Repeat, not okay!
Tanner Tall. I know, Stuff, I can see!
Derrick Tuff. It's gone! Oh my god it's all gone! What the fuck!!
Tuff continues to freak out, so much so that Tanner and Nick had to physically grab him and carry him off. Once they got to their truck, Tall put Tuff in a sleeper hold, applying pressure until he eventually passed out.
Tanner Tall. Sleep well, sweet prince..
Nick Stuff. Weird. That was weird, what you just said. Get in, let's get out of here.
Tall throws Tuff's body into the back seat and he himself gets into the passenger seat. The three drove off, heading towards the sun, which was just breaching the horizon.
-FIN-