Post by "The Real Deal" Jason O'Neal on Jul 12, 2017 10:08:04 GMT -5
WCF Theatre, in conjunction with Jason O'Neal Productions, proudly presents:
Jason O'Neal and the 7 Panthevrest Dwarfs
Starring Jason O'Neal
as
Jason O'Neal the future Television Champion
Co- Starring:
These Chumps (The Panthevrest Establishment)
Jason O'Neal and the 7 Panthevrest Dwarfs
Starring Jason O'Neal
as
Jason O'Neal the future Television Champion
Co- Starring:
These Chumps (The Panthevrest Establishment)
John Rabid David Sanchez Ethan King Andre Aquarius Bale Pascal Steven Singh Taylor Wright
as as as as as as as
Doc Grumpy Happy Sleepy Bashful Sneezy Dopey
as as as as as as as
Doc Grumpy Happy Sleepy Bashful Sneezy Dopey
on
July 16, 2017
Live from the Santander Arena in Reading, Pennsylvania
:: What follows is a reasonable explanation for the casting of these roles as pertains by Theater Code Section 7G Paragraph 9:
John Rabid = Doc
Johnny Rabid is by far the leader of these merry men. He is the glue that holds them all together. I mean come on, do you think Jared Holmes is Sober enough to lead a group or Sanchez smart enough to come up with backstabby plans? He is the architect of this whole establishment. As he would say, "He is the Brass." Dumbass even got T-Shits. He is the leader of the Dwarf Posse.
David Sanchez = Grumpy
This one is probably the most obvious typecast. Has anyone ever had more than a two minute conversation with David Sanchez without him getting butthurt over something? He came in third place in a World Title Match, got laid out by O'Neal and was so angry he made a false claim that O'Neal took the pin. Anger further clouded his judgement when he thought O'Neal wanted to be friends with him. What is this guy thinking? Language barriers and a constant struggle to prove he is not homosexual and a shitty wrestler lead to this easy casting.
Ethan King = Happy
Ethan King is the most happy of all the Dwarfs. He is definitely the definition of a forgettable, but being part of this establishment for the time being until Doc and Grumpy crush his dreams, makes him HAPPY!! For his entire wrestling career he has been nothing more than an after thought, if a thought at all. Finally, he is somewhat relevant. You can almost hear it in his voice, "I got rid of Jared Holmes' dick in my ass and replaced it with David Sanchez's. I'm so happy!!" With these statements, Ethan King, cemented his legacy as Happy.
Andre Aquarius = Sleepy
By far the most unwoke minority in the Universe. This guy uses ebonics and sets African Americans back 400 years. Not only that, but he is in one of the top organizations and he is the only fucker besides Bale Pascal who doesn't have a title. Of course, he is superior because he is black, but shit the NAACP is hoping he wakes up and demands an equal billing. With lines like, "Man, that shit was like thirty niggas sweatin’ our asses off in a gym the size of a fuckin’ storage locker. Nigga, how you know BAW?" Wait, what the actual fuck? The entire Black community face palms. Get woke... please for the sake of African Americans everywhere!!
Bale Pascal = Bashful
This is the under the radar actor we all have kept our eyes on for a while. We look to him to kill the role of Bashful. Being the fourth wheel in Everest's tricycle or the eighth wheel in Panthevrest when it is all said and done, has prepared Pacal for humbleness. He practically thanked Jayson Price for taking the people's title from him. Can't get much more Bashful than that. Critics say this may be his breakout role.
Steven Singh = Sneezy
Loud, annoying, and probably has some sort of disease. Yes, this is Steven Singh in a nutshell. Taking a backseat as comedic relief to the big boys in the game. He, like his Ping Pong partner King, is just happy to be going along for the ride no matter how far back on the pecking order he is. We will see if the chump can step up and fulfill his not so glamorous role, but in the meantime he should shut up and get that shit checked out before we all come down with the Spanish Flu or something.
Taylor Wright = Dopey
You honestly, have to be some sort of fucked up on something to work for Sanchez as a flunky. There are 9 billion other people to choose from and his dumbass chooses Sanchez to work for? Tucked away in a corner, mumbling to himself, and not quite sure what the hell is going on. He obviously fits the bill for this character and the fans can't wait to see Mr. Wright play his version of Can't Get Wright.
Jason O'Neal = Protagonist
Regarded as a hell of an athlete, O'Neal stands out for more than one reason in this production. The first reason is because he is outside of the establishment and does not look to leech off of it like King and Singh. He creates his own wind in his sail and does not need to be carried by supporting characters. Secondly, Jason O'Neal has earned the top prize in the business while none of the other cast members have. Sanchez has come close, but he came up short which made him, you guessed it: Grumpy. Finally, Jason O'Neal is not going to toe the line in the business. He is going to take the role to new heights and bounds beyond what the establishment has placed on the table time in and time out. Critics are looking for a strong performance from Jason O'Neal as he steps into the spot light as the lead role in this film.
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July 16, 2017
Live from the Santander Arena in Reading, Pennsylvania
:: What follows is a reasonable explanation for the casting of these roles as pertains by Theater Code Section 7G Paragraph 9:
John Rabid = Doc
Johnny Rabid is by far the leader of these merry men. He is the glue that holds them all together. I mean come on, do you think Jared Holmes is Sober enough to lead a group or Sanchez smart enough to come up with backstabby plans? He is the architect of this whole establishment. As he would say, "He is the Brass." Dumbass even got T-Shits. He is the leader of the Dwarf Posse.
David Sanchez = Grumpy
This one is probably the most obvious typecast. Has anyone ever had more than a two minute conversation with David Sanchez without him getting butthurt over something? He came in third place in a World Title Match, got laid out by O'Neal and was so angry he made a false claim that O'Neal took the pin. Anger further clouded his judgement when he thought O'Neal wanted to be friends with him. What is this guy thinking? Language barriers and a constant struggle to prove he is not homosexual and a shitty wrestler lead to this easy casting.
Ethan King = Happy
Ethan King is the most happy of all the Dwarfs. He is definitely the definition of a forgettable, but being part of this establishment for the time being until Doc and Grumpy crush his dreams, makes him HAPPY!! For his entire wrestling career he has been nothing more than an after thought, if a thought at all. Finally, he is somewhat relevant. You can almost hear it in his voice, "I got rid of Jared Holmes' dick in my ass and replaced it with David Sanchez's. I'm so happy!!" With these statements, Ethan King, cemented his legacy as Happy.
Andre Aquarius = Sleepy
By far the most unwoke minority in the Universe. This guy uses ebonics and sets African Americans back 400 years. Not only that, but he is in one of the top organizations and he is the only fucker besides Bale Pascal who doesn't have a title. Of course, he is superior because he is black, but shit the NAACP is hoping he wakes up and demands an equal billing. With lines like, "Man, that shit was like thirty niggas sweatin’ our asses off in a gym the size of a fuckin’ storage locker. Nigga, how you know BAW?" Wait, what the actual fuck? The entire Black community face palms. Get woke... please for the sake of African Americans everywhere!!
Bale Pascal = Bashful
This is the under the radar actor we all have kept our eyes on for a while. We look to him to kill the role of Bashful. Being the fourth wheel in Everest's tricycle or the eighth wheel in Panthevrest when it is all said and done, has prepared Pacal for humbleness. He practically thanked Jayson Price for taking the people's title from him. Can't get much more Bashful than that. Critics say this may be his breakout role.
Steven Singh = Sneezy
Loud, annoying, and probably has some sort of disease. Yes, this is Steven Singh in a nutshell. Taking a backseat as comedic relief to the big boys in the game. He, like his Ping Pong partner King, is just happy to be going along for the ride no matter how far back on the pecking order he is. We will see if the chump can step up and fulfill his not so glamorous role, but in the meantime he should shut up and get that shit checked out before we all come down with the Spanish Flu or something.
Taylor Wright = Dopey
You honestly, have to be some sort of fucked up on something to work for Sanchez as a flunky. There are 9 billion other people to choose from and his dumbass chooses Sanchez to work for? Tucked away in a corner, mumbling to himself, and not quite sure what the hell is going on. He obviously fits the bill for this character and the fans can't wait to see Mr. Wright play his version of Can't Get Wright.
Jason O'Neal = Protagonist
Regarded as a hell of an athlete, O'Neal stands out for more than one reason in this production. The first reason is because he is outside of the establishment and does not look to leech off of it like King and Singh. He creates his own wind in his sail and does not need to be carried by supporting characters. Secondly, Jason O'Neal has earned the top prize in the business while none of the other cast members have. Sanchez has come close, but he came up short which made him, you guessed it: Grumpy. Finally, Jason O'Neal is not going to toe the line in the business. He is going to take the role to new heights and bounds beyond what the establishment has placed on the table time in and time out. Critics are looking for a strong performance from Jason O'Neal as he steps into the spot light as the lead role in this film.
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DATELINE: 7/12/17 8:02 a.m. -- Jason O'Neal's Back Patio -- New Orleans, LA
:: Jason and Stephanie have just finished breakfast prepared by Raul, the personal chef. Stephanie has an issue with Jason signing up for the Deathmatch Tournament...
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O'NEAL: Nothing is set in stone. I just signed up. Who knows, Seth might have different plans.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: I am two weeks out until this baby comes and you want to get yourself killed?
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O'NEAL: No one actually dies. It's just five hardcore matches.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Have you ever done hardcore?
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O'NEAL: Wrestling? (He shoots her a wink and a smile) No.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: What the hell were you thinking?
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O'NEAL: I couldn't beat fucking Dion Necurat for the World Championship. I have to prove I'm better than that.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: You have the TV Title Match this week at Slam. How did the Snow White thing go?
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O'NEAL: I hate gimmicky shit. But that's the shit everyone wants to see. Fucking slapstick comedy.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: I saw the mock up. You said some real stuff on there it is going to cut hard.
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O'NEAL: If they can get past the clowns and circus music. What the fuck has this business come to?
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Yeah Dion produced a product so far outside the norms to gain fan support. How's the competition committee review going on that one?
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O'NEAL: Moser, Brown, and Bates...
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Ouch...
:: She stands and begins to clear the table...
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O"NEAL: I really wish you would let Consella do her job.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Dr. Wellstone said I have to stay active. Just trying to insure a safe delivery. You'll be happy to know he is not pressing charges...
:: Four million dollars worth of endowments in Wellstone's name better fucking get the charges dropped. Stephanie carried the dishes away. Jason is framed in the shot and begins his shoot...
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O'NEAL: Seth has really outdone himself in this one. Really, How does he do it? How does he manage to just create the perfect clusterfuck? Four members of Everest versus two members of Pantheon, myself, and a member of Everest. If that is not bad enough to wrap your mind around, the television title is on the line as well. If Rabid is pinned, he loses the belt to the person who pinned him. Therefore, in order to win the match, I must lose the championship and to win the match for my team, I must give up the television title. That's a tough decision. (Jason chuckles a bit) If my name was Dion, and I gave a shit about integrity, it would be. Fuck that shit, Rabid better watch his back. I'm going for the gold. Gold, any gold, guarantees a spot in the Ultimate Showdown match and from there I can spring board into a second World Title reign. So I could give two shits about Wright, Aquarius, and Rabid... The title is mine.
With that said, the Establishment have a key advantage in this match. It is no secret that Everest and Pantheon have a majority if not all the titles. They call this shit dominance, when in fact it is a strategic plan to keep the shit moving in a fashion suitable to them. What's that? You want examples? Well...
Example one. Dion Necurat is fucking Champion. Regardless of how he won it, when he won, who he beat for it or any other factor. Where the fuck is his match this week? This is a guy who promised David Sanchez a title shot because he, quote, deserved it. This is a guy who didn't take advantage of a weak Jared Holmes and capitalize to win the title one on one he had to wait until the other competitors had like six other people to contend with. So why keep the belt on Dion? Why give Dion the rest? Well, if anyone pins him they get catapulted into the World Title picture. The, quote, brass, want to keep this a Panteverest thing. Therefore, Dion strolls into Ultimate Showdown untouched and will gladly hand the belt over to Sanchez or another flunky because they deserve.
Not enough? Need more evidence? Example two. Rabid has faced shit for the past three weeks for his Television Title. Granted, no one wants it because it is a shit title, but now that I have motivation to get title from Rabid, I'm on his team and I have to contend with six other moving parts who are more loyal to Rabid than me. Add in Moser, and his Pantheverest lean, and shit I may be the best person in the ring, but it is going to be hell getting out of that match legitimately. Rabid has talked all the shit he could on Twitter and when it comes down to me versus him he has more back up than Sanchez at a '95 Dodge truck bed convention.
Example three for those who still need more light. The fact that I am the best competitor in the match is clear. As evidenced by the fact that I am the only on in the match to ever have won a World Title. I know, I know... I'm fucking delusional. I did nothing. I beat nobody. I held onto the Alpha Title against Jaice Wilds and was protected from the big dogs. I capitalized on Everest and Pantheon's interference. Inquiring minds want to know, when I pin Rabid in this match and take the television title from him, who is going to take credit for it. Will it be Singh, King, Pasca...fuck it Ping, or David Sanchez who will probably be laid out again and not remember the end of the match. Will it be Wright who stakes the claim? Either way, the establishment will need some way to keep O'Neal down to make themselves look good.
Eight man clusterfuck match. Check that... seven bitch and one man demolition. My cards are laid on the table, I want the television title to get my shot at the World Title. Sanchez can claim he wants it. So can Ping, Singh, and King... hell Rabid and Aquarius can throw their name in it too, but when we ten we wanted a girl. When we finally go it... Pussy drove us and the decision we make. The World Title is the only reason I am here and you fucks... all seven of you... can't understand that... you're virgins talking about what you would do. I know what it is like and will do anything to get it back. Try as you may, at Slam... I'll be the Television Champ and come Ultimate Showdown, I'll do the same as I did my Alpha Title, trade that shit in for a World Title.
:: Jason sips his glass of orange juice, puts his feet up and gets ready to enjoy the rest of a lazy Wednesday. The camera fades...
:: Jason and Stephanie have just finished breakfast prepared by Raul, the personal chef. Stephanie has an issue with Jason signing up for the Deathmatch Tournament...
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O'NEAL: Nothing is set in stone. I just signed up. Who knows, Seth might have different plans.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: I am two weeks out until this baby comes and you want to get yourself killed?
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O'NEAL: No one actually dies. It's just five hardcore matches.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Have you ever done hardcore?
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O'NEAL: Wrestling? (He shoots her a wink and a smile) No.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: What the hell were you thinking?
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O'NEAL: I couldn't beat fucking Dion Necurat for the World Championship. I have to prove I'm better than that.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: You have the TV Title Match this week at Slam. How did the Snow White thing go?
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O'NEAL: I hate gimmicky shit. But that's the shit everyone wants to see. Fucking slapstick comedy.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: I saw the mock up. You said some real stuff on there it is going to cut hard.
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O'NEAL: If they can get past the clowns and circus music. What the fuck has this business come to?
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Yeah Dion produced a product so far outside the norms to gain fan support. How's the competition committee review going on that one?
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O'NEAL: Moser, Brown, and Bates...
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Ouch...
:: She stands and begins to clear the table...
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O"NEAL: I really wish you would let Consella do her job.
STEPHANIE DANIELS: Dr. Wellstone said I have to stay active. Just trying to insure a safe delivery. You'll be happy to know he is not pressing charges...
:: Four million dollars worth of endowments in Wellstone's name better fucking get the charges dropped. Stephanie carried the dishes away. Jason is framed in the shot and begins his shoot...
"THE REAL DEAL" JASON O'NEAL: Seth has really outdone himself in this one. Really, How does he do it? How does he manage to just create the perfect clusterfuck? Four members of Everest versus two members of Pantheon, myself, and a member of Everest. If that is not bad enough to wrap your mind around, the television title is on the line as well. If Rabid is pinned, he loses the belt to the person who pinned him. Therefore, in order to win the match, I must lose the championship and to win the match for my team, I must give up the television title. That's a tough decision. (Jason chuckles a bit) If my name was Dion, and I gave a shit about integrity, it would be. Fuck that shit, Rabid better watch his back. I'm going for the gold. Gold, any gold, guarantees a spot in the Ultimate Showdown match and from there I can spring board into a second World Title reign. So I could give two shits about Wright, Aquarius, and Rabid... The title is mine.
With that said, the Establishment have a key advantage in this match. It is no secret that Everest and Pantheon have a majority if not all the titles. They call this shit dominance, when in fact it is a strategic plan to keep the shit moving in a fashion suitable to them. What's that? You want examples? Well...
Example one. Dion Necurat is fucking Champion. Regardless of how he won it, when he won, who he beat for it or any other factor. Where the fuck is his match this week? This is a guy who promised David Sanchez a title shot because he, quote, deserved it. This is a guy who didn't take advantage of a weak Jared Holmes and capitalize to win the title one on one he had to wait until the other competitors had like six other people to contend with. So why keep the belt on Dion? Why give Dion the rest? Well, if anyone pins him they get catapulted into the World Title picture. The, quote, brass, want to keep this a Panteverest thing. Therefore, Dion strolls into Ultimate Showdown untouched and will gladly hand the belt over to Sanchez or another flunky because they deserve.
Not enough? Need more evidence? Example two. Rabid has faced shit for the past three weeks for his Television Title. Granted, no one wants it because it is a shit title, but now that I have motivation to get title from Rabid, I'm on his team and I have to contend with six other moving parts who are more loyal to Rabid than me. Add in Moser, and his Pantheverest lean, and shit I may be the best person in the ring, but it is going to be hell getting out of that match legitimately. Rabid has talked all the shit he could on Twitter and when it comes down to me versus him he has more back up than Sanchez at a '95 Dodge truck bed convention.
Example three for those who still need more light. The fact that I am the best competitor in the match is clear. As evidenced by the fact that I am the only on in the match to ever have won a World Title. I know, I know... I'm fucking delusional. I did nothing. I beat nobody. I held onto the Alpha Title against Jaice Wilds and was protected from the big dogs. I capitalized on Everest and Pantheon's interference. Inquiring minds want to know, when I pin Rabid in this match and take the television title from him, who is going to take credit for it. Will it be Singh, King, Pasca...fuck it Ping, or David Sanchez who will probably be laid out again and not remember the end of the match. Will it be Wright who stakes the claim? Either way, the establishment will need some way to keep O'Neal down to make themselves look good.
Eight man clusterfuck match. Check that... seven bitch and one man demolition. My cards are laid on the table, I want the television title to get my shot at the World Title. Sanchez can claim he wants it. So can Ping, Singh, and King... hell Rabid and Aquarius can throw their name in it too, but when we ten we wanted a girl. When we finally go it... Pussy drove us and the decision we make. The World Title is the only reason I am here and you fucks... all seven of you... can't understand that... you're virgins talking about what you would do. I know what it is like and will do anything to get it back. Try as you may, at Slam... I'll be the Television Champ and come Ultimate Showdown, I'll do the same as I did my Alpha Title, trade that shit in for a World Title.
:: Jason sips his glass of orange juice, puts his feet up and gets ready to enjoy the rest of a lazy Wednesday. The camera fades...