Post by Corey Black on Jan 14, 2017 22:03:23 GMT -5
A full moon illuminates a scene of terror as fog rolls over Camp Crystal Lake. The legendary setting is now decrepit and broken down. A shell of it's former self. Cobwebs hanging like gleaming daggers from cracked, shattered windows. A wooden door creaks off it's hinges like a banshee as the wind whispers it's midnight song. Jason's playground lies now in ruins as a woman's voice (Nikki Venus?) mutters a sweet, familiar melody of evil.
"Corey, Corey Corey...
Kill, Kill, Kill..."
We have a sweeping tracking shot now over Pamela Voorhees Cabin; inside a birthday cake is laid out on a wooden table, again covered in cobwebs; it has thirteen lit candles that keep an army of creeping and scurrying cockroaches at bay; the orange flame revealing an apt message written in dried blood on the mouldy icing:
“Happy Death Day, Corey!”
THUD! A noise outside the cabin grabs our attention as the camera suddenly spins 180 degrees, a set of double doors fly open as we escape outside to see Jason (perhaps a foot or so smaller than usual, with strange, Nordic markings on his hockey mask) lifting up a zipped up sleeping bag with a free hand and smashing it's squirming, human contents against the twisted bark of a nearby knotted tree.
“You Stoopid Boudle! Why so Grrrrrrrr?!"
A sickening CRUNCH! As Lilith's neck snaps within the sleeping bag. “Jason” nonchalantly drops the bag as he goes to work with a rusting machete on the bleeding, crawling remains of Jayson Price who is now promptly decapitated. Meanwhile close by, we see a set of heads on steel pikes. It's the Finals Girls all in a row.
"Corey, Corey Corey...
Kill, Kill, Kill..."
Hank Brown runs past, his suit and tie ripped and dirty, a face caked in blood not his own, he high tails it to the jetty as Jason's machete whizzes past his head, missing the screaming interviewer by inches and embedding itself in a tree trunk.
Jason turns his attention now to a charging group of familiar faces. Kevin Bishop, Johnny Rabid, FPV, Jared Holmes, Joey Flash; they all surge forward as one from the shadows. An impassioned Jason brandishes a pitchfork now as necks are snapped. Throats slashed. Stomachs ripped violently open. Jason dispatches this army of Wrestling elite with a swift, brutal efficiency.
"Corey, Corey Corey...
Kill, Kill, Kill..."
Joey Flash: Fuccin...hell....
Jason curb stomps the remains of Joey and rips out his acid tongue as a familiar sound catches his attention.
A BELL IS TOLLING....
A nearby bell tower rises from the Earth like an impossible magic trick, a stone and bone edifice of evil, which now finds itself occupied by a second, taller, more powerful looking Jason. We call this creation: “Jason Prime.”
The first Jason throws Joey's tongue nonchalantly to the floor as he removes his hockey mask to reveal the famous face of –
CD retrieves the Machete as he motions towards the bell tower to meet his fate.
Back at the jetty, we see Hank Brown reach a small rowing boat, after catching his breath he flexes those journalistic muscles of his as he unties the boat's mournings and gets to work on those ores for all their worth.
-The Bell Tower-
Creeping Death has climbed to the apex of the tower, he faces off against the real Jason as they both leap into the air; each aiming a swinging, bloody machete at each other as lightening strikes the bell tower, the malevolent structure now EXPLODING!
"Everyone, Everyone, Everyone...
Kill, Kill, Kill..."
Meanwhile. Hank has reached the center of the lake. He's managed escape the tragedy. The boat drifts silently along as Brown takes stock of the nightmare, rubbing some of the blood away from his quaking features as -
- leaps from the water and drags Hank Brown beneath the surface! And so, the terror begins AGAIN!
Nikki Venus Voice Over: LIVE, FROM THE HISTORIC CONCERT VENUE FIRST AVENUE IN MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA....WELCOME - TO XIII!
“Friday the 13th” by the Misfits plays as we have a sweeping camera pan over the Minnesota arena. The crowd going insane!
FINAL GIRL BATTLE ROYAL
The song drops and lights go out in the arena and a average height man steps out from behind the black curtain with a backward fitted black ball cap on, a movie replica of Jason Voorhees’s hockey mask on, a black t-shirt with Camp Crystal Lake in white lettering on the front of it, a pair of black jeans, and black chuck taylors. The man walks out to the ring and he grabs a microphone just before he climbs to the apron. He looks out to the crowd and he finishes his climb, before standing in the middle of the ring. He lifts the microphone to his mouth, as he feels the electricity of the fans before him.
Jason Slasher: “Hello WCF FAITHFUL!!!”
Joey Flash: “Who the hell is this tool?”
Nikki Venus: “I have not a single idea… Where the hell is T-Swift at?”
The fans start to boo the man.
Jason Slasher: “I am your special, special ring announcer, my name is Jason Slasher and I am the host with the most when it comes to horror movies… I run the Hollywood Horror Talk Podcast and I was brought in thanks to Karma Bishop who is looking to win this first ever, Final Girl Battle Royal!”
Joey Flash: “I can’t believe I’m going to say this… Can we get to the ladies already?”
Nikki Venus: “I think you mean lady, right? Diavolo is the only one that matters here in this match tonight…”
Everyone’s attention goes to the curtain as “Man, I feel like a woman” by Shania Twain blares throughout the arena. An awkward looking tall lanky woman walks out wearing a beige Japanese school girl outfit with a silver collar on her neck.
Jason Slasher: “Introducing first… Standing at 6’5” and weighing in at 150 lbs… Seriously, this is a woman? Looks like he’s going for a Battle Royale theme… I guess that’s pretty funny… Everyone, give it up for Smartina!!!”
Joey Flash: “Am I the only one confused by the Japanese school girl thing mixed with the Shania Twain song???”
Nikki Venus: “That’s what you’re hung up on? It’s not the fact that it’s a 6’5” MAN wearing a school girl outfit???”
Smartina stumbles down the ramp after trying to look like an innocent Japanese school girl, throwing up peace signs, and giggling… Jason stands in the middle of the ring scratching the back of his head as Smartina dances around the ring and gyrating at the fans. Thankfully the fans’ attention is taken by the song “Dust” by Cypress Hill playing and Juanita stepping out of the curtain. She’s normally followed out by Gravedigger, but she walks out solo, wearing a tight red and green striped top, with one brown glove on her left hand, a brown skirt with brown tights under them, and a pair of black boots with white stripes shoe strings. JJ walks out with a pissed off look on her face, as if it wasn’t her idea to wear the wrestling attire she showed up in.
Jason Slasher: “Making her way to the ring standing at 5’9” and weighting in at 130 lbs… Wearing what looks to be a Nightmare on Elm Street inspired ring gear, give it up for Juanita Juarez!”
Joey Flash: “I bet Digger is just as pissed right now, that JJ has to be apart of this spectacle…”
Nikki Venus: “I have no idea what she’s being offered to wear such an outfit, but that look on her face is priceless…”
Juanita stands on the opposite side of the ring from Smartina and she stares daggers through him, as the lights flicker. Fans look to the curtain and the theme from The Ring starts to play. Out of the curtain crawls Cheyenne in a tattered black and moss colored floor length Overcoat with a brown satchel hanging from her mouth. Cheyenne crawls down the ramp and Jason stands in the middle of the ring taking back a bit.
Jason Slasher: “Making her way to the ring… Standing at 5’6” and it literally says on here, that say anything about her weight and I’d be a dead sexist pig….. So… Let’s give it up for Cheyenne in her Ring inspired attire…”
Nikki Venus: “You do realize, that bitch brings a bag of roaches with her to the ring… Right?”
Joey Flash: “What the fuck is wrong with the girls in WCF? Jesus…”
Nikki Venus: “Hey, I resent that, you ass…”
Cheyenne reaches the ring and she backbends over the toprope flipping into the ring. She holds the bag high above her head and she drops the coat revealing underneath a tightly fitted dark green and black top, tight green pants, and knee high black boots. The lights go out and a remix of “What You Want” by Evanescence starts to play. Out of the curtain steps Sara Twilight dressed in a blue mechanic jump suit with her face painted pale white and her hair a mess. She walks out to a mix reaction and a lot of the fans aren’t sure what to think.
Joey Flash: “Holy shit, she showed up…”
Nikki Venus: “Surprised the bitch is alive…”
Jason Slasher: “Coming to the ring standing at 5’8” and weighing in at 148 lbs… Non other than, Sarah Twilight!”
Sarah makes her way into the ring as The lights cut with the opening strains of Heavens Have Fallen begin to filter through the arena and a single beam of light falls onto the top of the staging. Out walks Allesandra wearing a bejeweled phantom of the opera mask and a black cloak and she makes her way to the ring staring directly at JJ.
Nikki Venus: “I’m not surprised Allesandra isn’t changing much to her attire for this match up…”
Jason Slasher: “Coming to the ring standing at 5’10” and weighing in at 147 lbs. Diavolo!!!!”
Allesandra climbs into the ring and stands across from JJ, still not taking her gaze off of her. Suddenly “Mz. Hyde” by Halestorm kicks up and all the women look straight to the stage. The curtain is pulled open and out walks Karma Bishop in an all white prom dress, very reminiscent of Carrie’s from the movie Carrie. Karma does a prom queen like wave as she slowly struts down the aisle, with all eyes on her.
Jason Slasher: “The woman that we have all been waiting for, standing at 5’8” and weighing in at 130 lbs, The Queen Bitch- KARMA BISHOP!!!”
Joey Flash: “Who the hell invited this guy again? He’s just pandering to the one woman and she’s not even that good!”
Nikki Venus: “He’s her side hoe or some shit… Who knows?”
Karma reaches the end of the aisle and she rips away the dress to reveal a white corset with tight white bottoms and white wrestling boots. Karma climbs into the ring and she stands directly in the middle with the rest of the girls circle around her. Jason looks her up and down and leaves the ring before the rest of the girls throw him out.
The bell sounds and all the girls go from looking at Karma to looking over to Smartina who points to himself and then looks around.
Nikki Venus: “That didn’t take long for the girls to want to work together to eliminate that loser.”
Joey Flash: “Are you sure that’s a guy?”
Nikki rolls her eyes at Flash as the girls all jump Smartina in the corner. Smartina shoves them all away with his 6’5” lanky build and he grabs at his collar as it starts to light up. The girls all back away cautiously and Smartina smiles a dumb smile and waves. The collective of women shake their heads and approach him, just before he throws himself up and over to the outside of the ring.
Joey Flash: “Well there goes Smartina… That pains me to say his name like that…”
Nikki Venus: “With that goof gone, let’s see what these women really have in store for one another.”
Diavolo finds herself grabbing JJ by the neck and dragging her to the opposite corner from the all girl pile up. Karma escapes the pile up and grabs up Sarah Twilight, leaving Cheyenne sitting in the corner rocking back and forth.
Joey Flash: “The girl makes me feel a bit uneasy…”
Nikki Venus: “You and me both… She’s one sick chick…”
Karma and Sarah exchange elbows back and forth, as Diavolo and JJ share chops in the corner. Finally Cheyenne lifts herself by the ropes and she approaches the battling Diavolo and JJ. Cheyenne launches herself off the ropes with a springboard enziguri off Diavolo’s head. Diavolo backs away and Cheyenne now unloads a flurry of chops and punches into the larger Juanita. Finally JJ has enough and face pushes Cheyenne to the mat. Diavolo was lying in wait and she locks on the Goodnight Princess rare naked choke on Cheyenne who laughs out in pain.
Joey Flash: “Is that crazy bitch, laughing right now?”
Nikki Venus: “You can’t out crazy, crazy Flash…”
Diavolo tightens the hold and Cheyenne still laughs. JJ looks down shakes her head and looks over to Karma and Sarah who are now locked up in the corner with a tug of war to see who is going to get thrown over the top rope. JJ approaches the two very methodically looking for her in…
Nikki Venus: “Did I just see that right? Jumping over the guardrail?”
Joey Flash: “You’re not seeing things, that’s Thursday Kerrigan! What’s she doing here?”
Thursday slides into the ring and clothesline JJ to the mat from behind, not skipping a beat as she launches herself into Karma and Sarah Twilight. Thursday grabs Sarah by the hair and pulls her into the center of the ring. Thursday backs away and lands a Cliché Kick to Sarah’s stomach, causing her to double over. Thursday launches herself over Sarah and connects with The Dolphin Driver, leaving Sarah limp on the mat. Thursday looks around to the girls who are all now on their feet, just before Thursday drops down and does pushups on the unconscious Sarah Twilight.
Joey Flash: “SWOLE PUSHUPS!!!!”
Nikki Venus: “That bitch got what she deserved there…”
Thursday rolls off of Sarah and back out of the ring. She stands as Diavolo nods to her from inside the ring. Diavolo grabs up Sarah and tosses her up and over the top rope to the outside. JJ, sees the distraction as her opportunity to take advantage, she runs in after Diavolo, but Karma makes the save with a spinning elbow attack to the side of JJ’s temple. JJ stumbles and Diavolo looks shocked as JJ was only inches from trying to eliminate Diavolo. The shock wears off quickly, because Cheyenne leaps onto Diavolo with a leg scissors with a guillotine locked in. Cheyenne takes Diavolo to the mat and Karma shoves JJ back toward the ropes. JJ fires back with a well placed elbow to the brow of Karma, which splits open her eye brow.
Joey Flash: “WE HAVE BLOOD!”
Nikki Venus: “What that little nick? I’ve done more damage shaving my legs…”
Karma taps her brow with her left hand and she looks at the fresh blood. Karma smiles and stares daggers into JJ. JJ smirks and delivers another elbow to Karma’s brow. Karma shakes it off and returns the favor, which in turn splits open JJ’s forehead. The two go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, until both of their faces are covered.
Joey Flash: “And now, you were saying Nikki?”
Nikki Venus: “Flash, we bleed every month… This is nothing…”
Cheyenne still has Diavolo on the mat looks up at the two bloody women elbowing each other and now she’s starts adding elbow strikes into her submission, while laughing hysterically in the process. Karma and JJ both stop attacking each other, to take a breather, to assess their blood loss situation.
Nikki Venus: “Pussies…”
Diavolo finds some strength down deep and she lifts Cheyenne up off the mat with her, just enough to slam Cheyenne head first against the mat, but Cheyenne holds on. Diavolo lifts her again and back DOWN, this time is the charm, because Cheyenne falls off of Diavolo. Cheyenne scurries away to the opposite ring corner and Diavolo finds her feet. Now the four women look at one another, Karma and JJ bloody, while Diavolo and Cheyenne are holding their heads.
Joey Flash: “These dikes can fight.”
Nikki Venus: “You’re an idiot…”
Karma turns her attention to Cheyenne and Diavolo turns her sights to JJ. The four women go at it, JJ takes a stomach kick from Diavolo followed up with a DDT, as Karma starts to land back elbows to Cheyenne’s face in the corner. Diavolo locks on Goodnight Princess on JJ now and JJ’s arms start to flail about. Karma hoists Cheyenne up to the top rope and sits her there with a few knife edge chops. Cheyenne sits there holding her chest as Karma backs away, she measures her up, then springboards off the second rope, grabbing Cheyenne by the head and dropping her back to the mat with The Black Death. Cheyenne hit’s the mat hard and rolls her way to the ropes.
Joey Flash: “How original using her husband’s move, how many of these women do that? We saw Thursday do Jared’s Dolphin Driver, now we see a rendition of The Plague’s Black Death?”
Nikki Venus: “Originality is dead…”
Diavolo releases the hold as she sees Karma resting up against the ropes with her back to Diavolo. JJ rolls away holding her throat and Diavolo stalks Karma very slowly.
Nikki Venus: “Looks like Allesandra is going to separate the women from the girls here…”
Diavolo is just about on top of Karma, but she gets tripped up by Cheyenne who clings to her legs, wrapping her up and taking her to the mat with her own rear naked choke.
Joey Flash: “Cheyenne looks like she’s not done with Diavolo…”
Karma shakes her head and notices JJ getting up in the corner. Karma approaches her and JJ doesn’t waste time going after her as well. JJ grabs Karma by the throat and turns her toward the ropes, trying to over power her. JJ holds Karma against the ropes and she tries to shove Karma over, Karma thumbs her in the right eye. JJ falls backward clinging to her face, but Karma doesn’t let her rest too much. Karma spins and lands a roaring elbow to JJ’s face. Without missing a beat, Karma drops JJ with a twist of fate.
Nikki Venus: “Maybe she has a few different moves to choose from…”
After hitting the K.A.B., Karma hoists JJ up and starts to push her over the top rope. JJ elbows back, causing Karma to step away from her. JJ and Karma both stand, faces covered in blood. Cheyenne still has Diavolo fighting to break the hold on the mat and finally JJ starts throwing chops to Karma’s chest. Karma is backed away into the ropes and JJ smirks as she measures her up. JJ lands the Gravemaker, a sickening clothesline that sends Karma and herself up and over the top rope. The two lands on the ring apron and they both pull themselves up slowly to their feet, assisted by the ropes.
Joey Flash: “Both are on the apron… This is not a good place to be…”
Nikki Venus: “Thank you captain obvious…”
Cheyenne looks over at the two exposed women and she releases her hold on Diavolo who rolls away holding onto her throat. Cheyenne scurries to her feet and she runs at JJ, but JJ sees her coming in, so she elbows her in the face making her back away. JJ looks back to Karma and Karma sends a kick to JJ’s stomach. Cheyenne watches as Karma grabs JJ in a front face lock and in one swift motion, picks JJ up and drops her onto the ring apron with a lifted sit out DDT. JJ crumples to the floor below and Karma lays on the ring apron, trying to catch her breath.
Joey Flash: “The Skankshift, eh?”
Nikki Venus: “That’s what she calls that DDT, it says here…”
Joey Flash: “Looks to be effective…”
Cheyenne stands up and walks over to the ropes where Karma is lying on the apron, but she is met by a roundhouse kick from Diavolo that rocks her. Cheyenne stumbles forward and Diavolo simply shoves Cheyenne up and over the top rope to the outside. Karma looks down at Cheyenne and she pulls herself back into the ring, to the awaiting hands of Diavolo.
Joey Flash: “Another bites the dust…”
Nikki Venus: “Really Flash?”
Diavolo pulls Karma up to her feet and Karma shoves Diavolo away. Diavolo spin kicks Karma in the stomach and Karma doubles over. Diavolo spins Karma around and locks on The Goodnight Princess, taking her to the mat.
Joey Flash: “She does realize, submissions isn’t going to give her this win, right?”
Nikki Venus: “She’s working the body, leave her alone…”
Karma’s arms start to flail, looking for a way to get out of this hold, but Diavolo just squeezes the move in tighter. Diavolo starts to rock Karma’s body to really make the move effective, before she releases her mostly unconscious body.
Joey Flash: “I think this one is done…”
Diavolo shoves Karma off of her and she stands to her feet. Diavolo grabs Karma by the hair and she hoists her up to drag her to the ring ropes. Just as she arrives at the ropes, Karma’s body springs back to life and she starts swinging her arms frantically to create separation. Karma clings to the top rope to keep herself standing and Diavolo smiles from ear to ear.
Nikki Venus: “That look though…”
Diavolo moves in to grab Karma but she is met with a straight forward head butt from Karma, which pushes her back a bit and rocks Karma back to the ropes. Diavolo feels her face and wipes Karma’s blood off as quickly as a possible. Diavolo grabs Karma by the back of the head and pulls her bloody face towards her.
Joey Flash: “Not a smart move there…”
Diavolo tosses Karma up and over the top rope, but Karma catches herself on the other side. Diavolo walks away with her arms held out to the ceiling, celebrating an early victory. She turns around when the bell isn’t sounded and she notices Karma telling her to bring it with her face a bloodied mess. Diavolo obliges by walking toward her, she goes for a punch but Karma pushes her arm away and elbows her in the face. Diavolo moves backward, but she comes back with an elbow of her own, causing Karma to sway a bit on the apron. Diavolo backs off and she measures the swaying Karma, before attempting a spinning roundhouse kick. Karma dodges it and she grabs Diavolo in a front face lock. With it locked on, Karma pulls her to the outside apron and she knees a few times in the stomach. Karma takes a deep breath before lifting Diavolo up and dropping her on the ring apron with a sitout DDT. Diavolo crumples to the floor below as Karma rests on the apron, looking down at the unconscious Diavolo.
Nikki Venus: “There you have it folks, your Final Girl Battle Royal winner, is Karma Bishop!”
Jason Slasher gets into the ring with a prom queen crown in hand and he awaits Karma to meet him in the middle of the mat. Karma walks up and Jason has a giant smile on his face.
Joey Flash: “Looks like the horse he betted on, won…”
Nikki Venus: “Did you just call Karma, a horse?”
Jason pulls out a microphone from his back pocket and he holds the crown high above his head.
Jason Slasher: “Ladies and Gentlemen, I’d like to thank Mr. Corey Black for allowing me to announce the winner of THE FIRST EVER FINAL GIRL BATTLE ROYAL! Thank you sir, now I am standing here with the crown to present to Karma Bishop our winner and our true FINAL GIRL… Congratulations darlin’.”
Karma rolls her eyes as she takes a deep breath, trying to recover from the fight. She stands up straight as Jason Slasher places the crown on her head and he quickly backs away. A bucket of pigs blood releases above Karma and she gets covered from head to toe. Jason quickly scurries away out of the ring and laughter soon follows as he makes his way up the ramp.
AGE OF ULTRON MATCHMinneapolis, Minnesota is proud to host the legendary XIII PPV of Corey Black’s creation. Where better to host it than inside the famous First Avenue location? The bars have been filled by wrestling fanatics, attendants on the upstairs have all been seated drinking like animals, leaning against the railings to get a better view while the people sat down around the entire ring on the dance floor and normal level are enjoying the show. A sold out out show of 1500 people but the cameras cut to Joey Flash and Nikki Venus seated behind the commentary table on the stage.
Joey Flash: Hello all and welcome back to Corey Black’s XIII. This is a night of Pantheon and jobbers gettin’ killed by Pantheon but now we’re here to some faggot match called Age of Ultron. Fuccin’ nerd Andre Holmes, that guy can be a total faggot smrite?!
Nikki Venus: He made the match for a reason and he’s an alright guy. I don’t really care about the others, never heard of their names. John Gable and Andre Holmes are the two that stand out. We’re in Dion’s hometown so expect a major pop for when he comes out.
Joey Flash: Fuccin’ Dion. This Brotherhood shit is complete waste of my time. Are we getting paid to even watch this match? I need to take a piss!
Nikki Venus: Let’s just do our jobs. We have Taylor Swift to announce.
Joey Flash: How the fuck did he even get Taylor Swift to XIII?
Nikki Venus: Corey has connections.
A camera on the balcony catches the frame of Taylor Swift dressed for the occasion. There’s a mixed reaction of a lot of cheers with a few boos but Taylor keeps her composure. At least Kanye West isn’t in the building to ruin her moment. She gets a thumbs up from the cameraman to begin with the introductions for the Age of Ultron match. Raising the microphone, all are silenced.
Taylor Swift: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is an Age of Ultron match. The rules are four men will compete under Falls Count Anywhere rules where a cage suspended above the contains items and weapons to be used. After five minutes, the cage will release these items and weapons into the ring and no submission or pinfall can be made before then.
Joey Flash: THIS FAGGOT ANDRE DOIN’ THE MOST!
Nikki Venus: How the fuck did Corey Black even allow this? Andre is a cool but this guy can go 0-100 Real Quick.
“Nexus” by Scuare is the first out of four entrance music to start playing around First Avenue. John Gable is seen walking up the stairs from the right locker room to make his way onto the stage. All fans are on their feet on the first floor and balcony raising their drinks, cheering him or whatever positive reaction they can think off. He stands center stage nodding his head then takes a deep breath.
Wearing red trunks with film strips going down the sides and black boots. John steps from the stage to the apron on the ring before moving through the ropes to the inside. He waves at Taylor Swift, not everyday you’re in the midst of a global celebrity. John is already in his corner standing on the top turnbuckle, pounding his chest with his fists, pointing to fans sitting down around the ring and up on the balcony.
Taylor Swift: Introducing the first participant! Hailing from Cleveland, Ohio! At five feet, eleven inches tall, weighing in at 211 pounds. He is John Gable!
John remains in his corner with the music fading away. Fans around the ring are slamming their hands, chanting his name to the beat of the mantra. This really helped John; Never have we seen him welcome like this ever since his return to the WCF. First Avenue, now the fans in WCF understand why they call it so. Taylor Swift remains in her posture waiting for the next entrant to come out.
Nikki Venus: The longest reigning WCF Television Champion, John Gable. Glad he’s back, the guy is pretty dope. Surprised he wasn’t at Golden Globes.
Joey Flash: I thought his movies all went to DVD or Digital. Fuccin’ hell.
“Re-Education Through Labor” by Rise Against plays around the interior of the First Avenue leaving all cameras at ringside and on the balcony to scan around the building. CJ Phoenix runs up the stairs and jumps into the center of the stage as soon as the beat drops. He stands there with a big smirk on his face, arms outspread only to see the audience staring back at him drinking or wondering why he’s even here.
Joey Flash: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! THIS FAGGOT IS NOT EVEN GETTING A REACTION!
Nikki Venus: BFFFFFFJNIGFNNRFHJNGBREJHABB!
CJ sighs and drops his arms. Okay, maybe there’s just warming up to him so he tries the pose again but they’re really are a lot of mixed signals. Some fans clap, others cheer, some boo but mostly stay quiet or go back to their conversations. CJ steps off the stage into the apron where he hops over the top rope to inside the ring. No need for going on the middle turnbuckle to showboat if half the population aren’t paying attention.
Taylor Swift: Introducing the second participant! Hailing from Baton Rouge, Louisiana! At six feet, one inch tall, weighing in at 205 pounds. He is CJ Phoenix!
Wearing a Black T-shirt with a golden cross on the front with the word "FOR" written inside the cross horizontally and "GOD" written vertically with the "O" in the middle of the cross to connect both words as well as golden angel wings on the back. Black pants with gold flames at the bottom. Black shoes with gold stripes. CJ’s music fades and stays in his corner giving nasty gestures to Gable who isn’t intimidated.
Nikki Venus: That’s two so far right?
Joey Flash: Aye! Got any ale around here? I need some alcohol, ALL OF THEM! Put it on Nikki’s card.
Nikki Venus: What the fuck?!
“Relentless” by New Years Day is the third music to play from the surround system. The entire interior is shut down by boos and massive expletives. Andre Holmes walks up the steps from the side of the stage with the hoodie over his head flipping off the crowd. Some empty cups are thrown at him and Andre responds by flipping him off the fans. A shouting war between one man and many.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOO! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!
He takes off his leather jacket and throws it into the crowd until it gets thrown back into his face. Andre takes that same jacket and throws it into the face of a lady sat up on the balcony. He steps onto the apron then leans against the ropes looking at CJ and Gable who want a piece of him. Andre would never give his opponent’s any satisfaction so he walks over to the other side of the ring and stays there. With the cameras pointed at him, he throws a fan out of his seat to sit down and enjoy the show.
Taylor Swift: Introducing the third participant! Hailing from Houston, Texas! At five feet, nine inches tall, weighing in at 201 pounds. He is “Relentless” Andre Holmes!
Wearing a simple black, and red design underwear with a long sleeve black arm wear covering his right forearm with "Holmes" engraved in red across it. His MMA gloves sponsored by tap-out representing his striking background. Along with that, "Relentless" is tattooed down his spine, and his black knee pads are custom-made with his insignia of his graphically designed initials on each pad. Finally, his leg padding covers the lower part of his legs, and his boots are striped in red, and black together.
Joey Flash: Dat’ beatdown last week on Slam was alright. I could have done way betta’. Fuckin’ Andre Holmes finally changing from beatin’ women to jobbers now.
Nikki Venus: He beats women? Yuck.
CJ and John are inside the ring warming up for the match. Each man in that ring has a chance to set the stage and become the inaugural Age of Ultron winner. Andre on the other hand, he’s sitting down on a chair next to fans who scooted away from him. Arms crossed over his chest, legs crossed over and leaning back to relax then all the lights in the interior slowly fade to black. The crowd of 1500 start chanting as loud as they can.
Crowd: DION! DION! DION! DION! DION!
A low bass slide cued the beginning of Domination, as the local crowd cheered for their hometown hero. As the song continued to play, Dion Necurat...failed to come out. The crowd's cheering began to die down, and confusion overcame the audience. Then...a record scratch.
Nikki Venus: The fuck?!
Joey Flash: Fuckin’ fag tryna’ pull a Wrestlemania entrance. What a fail!
“BOOM BOOM BOOOOOOOM, NOW LET ME HERE YOU SAY WAY-OH”
The one-hit wonder by The Outhere Brothers started playing after seconds of silence. The crowd went berserk; this signified the entrance for the local tag champions, The North Star Express. As soon as the beat dropped, a large man came out onto the stage. He was dressed in as much green as could be mustered; green tights with a white stripe along the side, a North Stars jersey, a green goalie mask covering the face, and a goalie mitt on one hand. In the gloved hand was a goalie stick, which he held at his side. The man used his free hand to pull up the facemask, revealing the crimson beard and face of Dion Necurat.
"And your hometown hero, from Minneapolis, MN, right here in First Avenue, weighing in at 270 lbs. He is The Goon of The North Star Express, and The Crimson Gladiator...DIOOON NEEECURAAAAAT!!!"
The crowd erupted in cheers and "Way-ohs" as Dion grooved down the ramp to the ring. This was definitely a side of Dion no one had seen before. He was all smiles, allowing himself to just enjoy the moment for himself. He climbed between the ropes, dancing to each side of the ring, before raising the hockey stick in the air and letting out a roar.
Joey Flash: BOOOOOOO! 0/10!
Nikki Venus: We are here in Dion’s hometown so we expected this biased reaction. The real question is can Dion pull off the win and represent his hometown of Minneapolis, Minnesota?
Ding Ding Ding!
Taylor Swift has already left the ring but Dion flies out through the ropes. The first person he goes after is Holmes especially after that brutal attack last week. A tackle into the ribs throws both men plowing through chairs like a wrecking ball. Fans move out of the way, chairs are tossed around, drinks are thrown and Dion mounts Andre to pound his head in with forearms straight into that exposed forehead.
Inside the ring, CJ has already launched John into the ropes. John hits the ropes then springs off the rebound into a run straight back into Phoenix but manages to duck under his thrown right arm. Another spring off the ropes and CJ gets put down onto his back. A brutal Roaring Elbow smacks his cheek nearly off his face thus his body prints into the canvas while the referee watches on.
Nikki Venus: Remember ladies and gentlemen, no pinfalls or submissions can be made until the cage suspended above the ring releases the weapons.
Joey Flash: Andre, you fuccin’ extra piece of shit.
Andre’s back is slammed hard against the bar section where he slips down onto his ass. Dion charges in and drops a right knee into his chest adding in more disrespect to his attacker. He helps him back up to his feet, holding him by the back of his head. One harsh swing of the face and Andre’s nose almost busts sideways of the counter. Dion continues to club his back with Overheard Forearms into the spine.
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DION! DION! DION! DION!
CJ has recovered enough to stand up in the corner. However, Gable was already sensing his opponent back on his feet so he used that time to charge across the ring and nail him again with an European Uppercut. Phoenix’s head snaps back from the blow, nearly a whiplash from Gable’s power. Another attempt at the same running Uppercut and CJ ducks under the right arm to sling it over his right shoulder. A good hook of the right leg and he nails John with an Exploder Suplex into the turnbuckles.
Joey Flash: Exploder Suplex into the corner by CJ Phoenix! Come on Gable, get yo damn ass up and fight back kid!
On the outside, Andre’s managed to get some offense on his part finally. He quickly Roundhouse Kicks Dion in the ribs stopping him in an attempt to toss him over the bar counter. Both hands grappled on each side of the head, Necurat is thrown sideways into the railing. His ribs collapsing into the metal structure having him bent over until Andre kicks his head up with a Soccer Kick into the nose.
Nikki Venus: Andre Holmes taking the striking into Dion Necurat. Sorry Dion, guess all dreams of you winning just got down the drain.
Andre takes a cup of beer away from a fan and pours the beer down on Dion’s head. He violently throws the plastic cup into his body before reaching over to fold a steel chair. One good overhead swing and that steel chair dents from the shot into his spine. Dion falls off from the railing to his knees, cringing from the shot. Teeth grinding against each other as Andre raises the steel chair in the air.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! FUCK YOU ANDRE! FUCK YOU ANDRE! FUCK YOU ANDRE!
CJ takes a look at the timer on the balcony counting down and just a minute is left before the cage releases the weapons. He goes straight into John on the canvas stomping him down repeatedly to get him pinned down in the ring for when the cage drops the weapons. CJ is laughing when he is finishes, believing that he has this in the bag.
Nikki Venus: Thirty more seconds! Thirty seconds are left on the clock!
When CJ turns around, a steel chair is thrown straight into his face. Andre watches CJ’s head snap back from the velocity of that echoing impact as Phoenix collapses down onto his back covering his forehead with both hands. Both men are down on the mat leaving Andre to point at the timer while the crowd is booing.
Joey Flash: COUNTDOWN!
Dion walks back to the apron of the ring where he reaches under the bottom rope to grab Andre by the ankles. He trips him face first down on the canvas then pulls him out of the ring. Dion quickly runs him spine first into the steel steps almost exploding them apart from each other. However, he looks up to see the countdown.
Nikki Venus: CJ AND GABLE ARE STILL IN THE RING!
Joey Flash: INCOMING!
The cage releases a decent amount of weapons from the ceiling piling up on top of Gable and CJ. Buried beneath the rubble of weapons, every fan inside First Avenue cheer as massively loud as they can. Dion rolls Andre into the ring and also slides in to keep the action inside. He helps Andre back up to his feet before lifting his ribs to be on his shoulder then dropping him throat first into the top rope with a Flapjack.
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DION! DION! DION! DION!
Walking around the ring with his arms spread out, First Avenue is really happy to have their hometown hero put on a great performance. John Gable and CJ Phoenix roll from under the rubble taking some of the weapons with them to ringside. Andre however is still leaning forward on the ropes while Dion picks up a Kendo Stick on the canvas. He raises that stick up with his right arm letting the crowd know he’s about to extract vengeance.
Joey Flash: Oh wow, he’s gonna whip a black guy on National Television. PUT HIM ON THE BLACKLIST!
Dion unleashes a fury of swings, smacking that Kendo Stick against his spine. Andre falls down from off the ropes straight to the canvas rolling around while still getting beat. Bits and pieces tear off from the Kendo Stick until one last crack breaks it completely. Dion backs off to the nearest corner while Andre moves into the center of the ring. Standing on his knees, he charges forward and lands that right knee against Holmes’s temple. A Shining Wizard knocking him into the canvas.
Nikki Venus: Dion Necurat with the Shining Wizard! CJ Phoenix is on the outside with a steel chair for John Gable!
Rightly so, John gets cracked in the head with a steel chair then CJ tosses the bent material to the side. At a higher level than the dancefloor, he warns fans to move right out of the way before backing up on the ramp leading to the balcony. Running down the descent, CJ Spears Gable from off the upper level to crash both men through a merchandise table. Everyone in the interior raises their drinks and let out an extremely loud cheer to that spot.
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Joey Flash: REALLY GABLE? YOU GONNA LET HIM DO THAT TO YOU?!
Inside the ring, Andre is down on his back in the center of the ring. Dion runs to the ropes at his right side then leaps onto the middle rope. A Springboard Moonsault crashes Andre’s ribs even harder finishing his signature move sequence. A Shining Wizard followed by a Lionsault thus completing the “Myrmidon.” On his chest, he hooks up the right leg for the pin attempt.
Andre kicks out and Dion stands up on his knees wondering what the hell he has to do. He thought for sure that sequence would put Andre out for good but clearly there’s more to be done. When Dion gets up, he gets smacked across the back of his head from CJ slapping that metal cooking sheet. Necurat falls face first on the canvas then CJ starts clearing the ring of used weapons until he sees a ladder.
He rolls out of the ring and grabs two steel chairs to bring them inside. Unfolding each other, he levels the metal ladder equally in the center of the ring. Phoenix gets another idea to roll Andre onto ladder then walks over to start climbing up the corner turnbuckles with his back facing him.
Nikki Venus: Oh my god! Andre is in serious trouble here!
Joey Flash: Look at dis’ jobber trying to pull an OMG Moment. This ain’t WCF 2K17 boi!
Andre gets off from the ladder and runs into the corner where he shoots right arm in an uppercut fashion to low blow CJ. He quickly reaches his arms around his legs and pulls him seated on top of his shoulders. Running forward from the corner, Andre Powerbombs him onto his shoulders throwing the Metal Ladder almost breaking it in half. Connecting his signature, Bad Landing, with CJ rolling backwards onto his chest.
Joey Flash: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Nikki Venus: Andre Holmes with the signature move, Bad Landing, nearly taking out CJ from the WCF entirely! Here is the pin attempt!
Ding Ding Ding!
Taylor Swift: Here is your winner, Andre Holmes!
Andre rolls out of the ring and holds the back of his head. The fans are throwing cups and other garbage as he continues to leave the arena flipping them off still. When they get too violent, he makes a break for the nearest exit happy he secured the victory.
Nikki Venus: That’s not surprising. What else is new on the card?
Joey Flash: PISS BREAK!
VENABLE VS HOLMES
Taylor Swift: The next match is a one fall to a finish! Introducing first representing the Brotherhood, the former Television champion, Frank Patrick Venable!
Joey Flash: Haha This loser is going to what the Brotherhood does best, Lose! Jareds going to make him his own personal punching bag, speaking of the sex god here come greatness now!
"The Ballad of Maxwell Demon" by Shudder to Think hits the PA as the lights go dim in the arena. A golden Eye of Horus lights up the jumbotron as "#AllHail6ixGod" appears beneath in gold lettering. A single stage light hits the center of the ramp as the music swells and booing from the crowd reaches a fever pitch. From the curtain steps Jared Holmes dressed in a full-face mirror ball mask topped with a diamond encrusted crown of thorns and long navy wool coat with gold accents, Thursday by his side.
Taylor Swiftl: Making his way to the ring, from Hollywood, California. Weighing in at two-hundred and fifteen pounds.... "THE SIX GOD" JARED HOLMES!
Jared steps into the spotlight, the mirror ball mask reflecting the light in a dazzling display of colors. His hands slowly raise from his sides into the air as sparks descend from the ceiling. Bringing his arms down swiftly, he continues down the ramp, his eyes concealed behind the mask but undoubtedly on the ring. The posse moves with purpose, and upon reaching the bottom of the ring, Jared ascends the stairs and steps between the ropes. His hand coming to the back of his head, he removes the mask and raises it in the air to a chorus of boos.
Joey Flash: OH yea here comes another beat down brought to you from the awesomeness that is Pantheon.
Nikkie Venus: AS with all the singles matches tonight, this one is No DQ, No Countout, but pinfalls must happen in the ring. THis sold out First Avenue is on its feet as the match gets under way.
The two conpetertiers start with a collar and elbow tie up. The larger Holmes gets the advantages and takes FPV down to the mat via side headlock takedown Holmes then jabs a thumb into FPV eye.
Joey Flash: That's my boy! That's exactly what I’d do!
.Holmes stands up and panders to the crowd. FPV struggles to his feet and Jared Holmes tosses him over the top rope. Holmes slides out the ring and is met with a kendo stick to the gut. Holems bends over and is met with s shot to the spine.
Joey Flash: Now that’s low!
Nikki Venus: UM no, I told you it’s all fair at the start.
Joey Flash:No I mean that It’s Fpv doing it and not My boy Jared.
WIth that being said Jared on one knee punches FPV right in the junk.
Joey FLash: Atta boy!
Jared nails a ddt on the outside.
Nikkie Venus: FPV is busted open!!
Joey Flash: Hell ya that bitch is! He is in there with one the best!
Holmes proceeds to stomp into FPv before digging under the ring. He retrieves a trash can lid, and goes to strike but is nailed with a kendo shot that crashes the lid into his own face as well. Dazed Holmes turns and falls draped across the apron, and is hit with 3 more kendo strikes before FPV rolls the man back into the ring.
Nikkie Venus: This Minneapolis crowd is loving XIII, Shows what that dumb whore LIlith knows.
Joey Flash: Yea lets hope one her bottom feeding brethren tell her about it.
Holmes punches FPV in the junk again as the man comes climbing into the ring with the stick. Jared does a rising closeline, flattening FPV. The man then rolls out of the ring grabs a bag of tacks from under the ring and rolls back in. Again Holmes is cut off by kendo shots. Fpv then slams him down with a kendo assisted russian leg sweep.
Nikki Venus: If those tack come into play it could be all over!
Joey Flash: For the jobber any way. Jared had this once he laced up his boots.
FPV goes for a pin,
Jared kicks out. FPV goes to pick his opponent up, and gets kicked in the balls. Jared nails FPV with another ddt. Holmes then dumps the tacks into the corner.
Nikki Venus: Jared Holmes has dangerous intentions here, as he takes to the middle rope with FPV!
Joey Flash: Fuck Ya!!! Dolphin Driver from the top rope! And on to the fucking thumb tacks!!
Crowd: Thank You Sex God! Thank You Sex God! *clap clap clap*
Tacks are sticking out of FPVS face and head, as well as few in Holmes leg as he crawls over for the pin.
Joey Flash:Oh come on! Johnny Reef must be high! Or have tacks in his eyes!
Nikki Venus: NO FPV barely got the shoulder up Joey.
Holmes picks up FPV, and goes for the Cliché Kick but FPV moves and hits BOOM! HEADSHOT!
The crowd goes wild as FPV slides out of the ring profusely bleeding.
Joey Flash: Fucking noob, not that he would have finished Holmes with that move but he should have went for the pin.
Nikki Venus: FPV has a barb wire wrapped baseball bat!
FPV slides into the ring, where a Wobbly legged Holmes awaits him, Holmes ducks the bat rebounds off the ropes and hits FPV with a springboard Moonsault Reverse DDT.
Joey Flash: Hell ya, and look at those beautiful pushups. Jared Getting’ Swoll baby!
Nikki Venus: FPV manages to kick out at two yet again. Both these men are not wanting to stop.
Both men breathing heavily struggle to their feet, Holmes grabs the bat on the way up. Holmes brings the bat down hard at Fpv’s head who rolls out of the way and dropkicks Holmes into the bat.
Joey Holmes: OH Fuck! Jareds face just bit the barbwire on that bat, and it's pouring blood. Jared Fucking Holmes is hardcore as Hardcore gets!
Fpv rolls out of the ring yet again, this time grabbing a trash can filled with objects from under the ring. As he throws it into the ring a cheese grater falls out. Frank then grabs a stop sign from under the ring and slides into the ring. Holmes is up to a knee , Fpv pelts him not once but twice with the sign before pinning him.
Nikki Venus:What are these men going to have to do to OMG!
As the woman spoke Holmes grabbed a ball peen hammer and nut checked FPV once more.
Joey Flash: NIce! Hit em again!
Holmes stumbles to his feet, and smacks FPV upside the head with the hammer. Holmes through a crimson mask, looks for his next instrument of torture and spots it in a cheese grater.
Joey Flash: Yea, Holmes is giving FPV a makeover on that ugly ass mug of his.
Nikki Venus: Wow, and the crowd is eating up this carnage
Fpv finally fights off the the grater with some elbows to the midsection. Frankie reaches over and grabs the first thing he can. A lighttube, that Fpv then shatters over the head of Jared Holmes.
Nikki Venus: Corey Black said there was bad blood between these two, and promised a hell of a match.
Joey Flash: And CD is NEVER wrong! Both men up now, Holmes goes for a super kick, ducked by FPV. Fpv goes for a belly to back suplex on Holmes, but it's reversed into a snapmare takeover. Fpv gets to his feet, as both men are breathing heavily. Fpv goes for a closeline but is ducked,and Jared Holmes lands a super kick to the back of Fpv’s skull planting him across the bottom rope.
Nikki Venus: Holmes is now throwing more light tubes into the ring, and now...Holy shit! Jared holmes is heaving cinder blocks into the ring!
Joey Flash: Oh fuck ya, it's about over for that fuccboi Fggt FPV.
Jared sets the three cinder blocks side by side in the center of the ring. Holmes then lays 4 light tubes across the blocks.
Joey Flash: Fuck ya, Jared has Frankie in position to hit the Dolphin Driver onto those blocks!
Nikki Venus: That could kill the Brotherhood member.
Frank fights out of the position and alabama slams Holmes down. Fpv goes to the top turnbuckle, and as soon as jared stands back up leaps, landing in the electric chair position.
Joey Flash: Babymaker!!!
Nikki Venus: Fpv is never gonna be able to have kids aft… Oh MY GOD Dolphin Driver onto the lighttube/cinder block pile!
Frankie convulses and blood pours all over the place, as Jared crawls over and does exhausted pushups on FPVs battered body.
Nikki Venus: Jared has done it!
Holmes rolls to his back, off of the beaten and bloody FPV. Ref Reef holds Jared's hand to the sky as he lay there, before making his way to his feet and spitting at the prone body of FPV.
Joey Flash: Mi boi, much love.
XIII fades to a music video of some kind.
BISHOP VS LIEBERT
Taylor Swift: The following contest is set for One fall and will be contested under XIII house rules. Introducing first . . .
A soft, unnamed violin piece begins to play over the PA, calm and collected. Such an odd entrance for Nathan von Liebert who steps out onto the stage, slow and methodically, with his hooded cloak clasped shut by a pin in the shape of a red hand and his hood pulled over him. The camera angle tries to peek under the hood, sidestepping as Nathan steps from the stage through the ropes into the ring, but catches only a glimpse of black tuft of hair on a pale jaw and glowing red eyes. Once inside, he takes up a position in the center. He stands there, head down, before lifting a single, red hand out from underneath the cloak and held to the sky above
"AHHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHHHH"
Three blood-curdling screams sound off throughout the arena, all three recognizable by any hardcore WCF fan. The first had the lowest pitch, and it was of Johnny Nova, FPV's best friend. The second of Roxanne, Waylon Cash's girlfriend. The third and final scream was that of Nightmare, Polar Phantasm's wife. And with that, it all dies away as Nathan unclasps the cloak, taking his time to fold it in his corner while he awaits the match to begin.
Taylor Swift: From The Nightmare Realm, weighing in a two-hundred and fifteen pounds . . . he is Nathan von Liebert!
Joey Flash: What a faggot.
Nikki Venus: Always a man with something inspirational to say, Joey.
Joey Flash: I came to watch Pantheon. This man is not a member of Pantheon. Ergo, faggot.
The lights in the arena go black and a hush falls upon the fans when the tron lights up pure white. “Unholy Confessions” by Avenged Sevenfold blares over head and white strobes beam down on a group of people in black hoods and Plague doctor masks, as the lights beam down on them, the move away to reveal The Plague Kevin Bishop holding out his arms taking in the roar of the crowd. He wears his black studded leather vest and his hair drips wet as he shakes his head to the music. He watches Nathan standing there in the ring for a moment.
Taylor Swift: From New York, New York, weighing in at two-hundred forty five pounds . . . he is “The Plague” Kevin—
Nikki Venus: And there goes NvL!
Before T-Swift could finish her introduction, Nathan charges forward, springboarding over the top rope with a flying superman punch aimed for Bishop’s head. But The Plague sidesteps, and NvL lands beside him feet first on top of the stage. The two men stare each other down stage side as the Minneapolis crowd increases in volume.
Nikki Venus: NvL looking to break in that new hand of his early with a superman punch, but Kevin with the wherewithal to sidestep.
Joey Flash: Even copies Wade’s Broseidon Punch. Not even an original faggot.
Nikki Venus: I think that was the point, Joey. NvL tried to hit Bishop with the same move he lost his match to last week.
The moment between the two men finally collapses as NvL launches himself at Bishop, engaging him in a straight slugfest on the stage beside the ring. The crowd is hot as Bishop uses his size advantage to back NvL against the ropes with his clubbing blows until Nathan falls through the ropes into the center of the ring. Stepping in quickly, Bishop dives on top of Nathan, who falls into a full guard, and begins to throw elbows against Liebert’s defenses. It looked like he was about to break through, until NvL powers through, throwing Bishop sideways so the People’s Champ was on his back instead. NvL takes top control and, with his red metallic hand flying, punches Bishop between the eyes with a heavy blow.
Nikki Venus: Every punch with that new hand is like a loaded glove, truly.
Bishop rolls to his side as NvL finds his feet, ripping the leather jacket off of the People’s Champion and tossing it into the crowd with a heave. The first row is shouting at NvL, who stares at them for a moment before waving. When he turns his attention back on Kevin Bishop, he finds the champ on his feet. With an explosion forward, Bishop turns NvL inside out with a brutal bicycle kick. Ever aware, NvL uses the momentum to fly out of the ring to escape the potential pinfall.
Not that Kevin Bishop was upset by the turn of events; he follows NvL to the outside and lays into him with heavy knees as NvL tries to pull himself to his feet. Grabbing NvL by the waist, Bishop slams him back first against the ring apron before tossing him backwards with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex to the flow. NvL bounces hard against the dance floor before landing with half of his body propped against the steel barricade separating the crowd from the ring. Bishop slams an open palm against the apron to rile the crowd up further as Nathan stirs at his feet.
Joey Flash: Somebody didn’t like NvL taking an interest in his wife tonight, that’s for sure.
Moving over to the still overturned Liebert, Bishop stomps roughly on NvL’s throat, choking him beneath his boot for a few moments before finally stepping off. NvL falls sideways so he wasn’t propped up against the barricade anymore, but Bishop allowed him little reprieve before pulling him to his feet. Grabbing him by the wrist, Bishop whips NvL in the general direction of the stage, which NvL forcibly runs into, bouncing off with a thud back to the dance floor. Kevin points to the first member of the crowd beside him, calling for the steel chair he sat on. The fan quickly obliges, handing the steel chair over.
Moving over to NvL, who had found his feet and was fumbling for something in the pocket of his jean pants, Bishop lifts the chair overhead. NvL was successful, though, in retrieving the contents of his pouch, and he tosses it into the face of the People’s Champ. Kevin instinctively backpedals when he realizes the contents were actually thumbtacks, using the chair as a shield of sorts against the projectiles. NvL capitalizes with a swift boot in the stomach of Bishop, who drops the chair to the dance floor. Kevin himself drops a moment later after NvL DDTs him on top of the chair with a heavy thud.
Joey Flash: I was told to remind any fuckboys who aren’t possibly aware at this point in the night that there are No DQs or count-outs in these XIII matches. Carry on.
Grabbing Bishop by the hair, NvL forcibly throws Bishop into the ring before following him in. The first pinfall of the night follows.
Nikki Venus: I don’t think one chair will be enough to stop either man here tonight.
Bishop still had the strength to throw his smaller opponent off of him as he powered out of the pinfall. Kevin pushes himself up onto his hands and knees before NvL stuns him with a punt-style kick across the side of the head. Bishop rolls onto his back and then, with a gleam in his eye, NvL begins to mercilessly stomp at his downed opponent. Across his chest, neck, and head Nathan von Liebert unleashed a relentless assault while Johnny Reef could only watch on, unable to stop it. The crowd soon gets behind Kevin Bishop, chanting his name and The Plague, urging him to fight back. But Nathan wasn’t looking for a fight; he wanted only a beatdown.
But slowly, surely, Bishop began to push himself to his feet despite the barrage of boots raining down on him. The chants increase with each inch the champ gains until, with a huge pop, Bishop finds his unsteady feet with the help of the ring rope. Nathan closes the distance, but Bishop throws a heavy stiff-arm that sends NvL stumbling back into the center of the ring. With a yell, NvL launches forward with a bicycle kick of his own.
But Bishop catches the leg, and with a feral shout of his own, lifts Nathan up, spins around, and spikes him back first with a modified version of a spinebuster, Nathan’s leg trapped against his body. But Bishop didn’t relinquish his hold, though. No, finding his feet, the People’s Champ deadlifts Nathan from the mat before, with the twisting of his hips, takes NvL up and over with a bridging fisherman suplex that has the First Street crowd rolling. Reef dives into the pin count.
Nikki Venus: What strength from The Plague tonight.
Joey Flash: Eh, I’ve seen people thrown twenty-odd feet into the crowd. He ain’t on that level yet.
Kevin finds his feet as the “Bishop” chants subside a little bit in the First Street Arena, moving over to the ring apron. The fans know what to expect next, and murmuring his heard as Bishop steps through the ring ropes and turns to face the ring. What they didn’t expect was for NvL to find his feet as quickly as he did; the red-handed man dives through the ropes himself to join Bishop on the apron. Then, with a grin, he throws a stiff shoot kick that catches Bishop across the knee. Bishop retaliates with a heavy elbow. And then the race was off, an elbow for every shoot kick.
And then the elbows start to rain faster and harder than the kicks, until finally NvL offers no offense at all. Grabbing NvL around the head, Bishop lifts the smaller man up, a brainbuster on the ring apron in mind as he lifts Nate high into the air. Liebert weasels through the technique, and lands behind Bishop of the apron. With a stiff kick to buckle Bishop’s knee, NvL grabs the champ around the head in a reverse facelock and heaves up.
Nikki Venus: Straight Jacket Drop on the apron!
The crowd gasps, and then sighs as Bishop is able to wiggle out of the technique before it can be successfully performed. He lands feet first on the apron and drops to the floor immediately afterwards, escaping what had appeared to be a very dangerous scenario. Turning to face his opponent, Bishop can do little to escape the diving lariat from NvL that sends them both crashing to the floor on the outside.
NvL takes top control and begins to wail across the face of Bishop until a cut opens over his eye and blood begins to pour down the champ’s face. Then, with a grin, NvL dips one of his metallic fingers into the blood and sticks it into his mouth to the disgust of the First Street crowd.
Joey Flash: Do you want Hepatitis C? Because that’s how to you get Hepatitis C.
Grabbing Bishop by the hair, NvL throws Bishop into the ring before digging under the ring for a weapon. He digs out a table that he proceeds to slide into the ring, following it in a moment later. Bishop was on his knees at this point, but NvL steps forward with a shining wizard that floors the People’s Champ. Bishop lies there, on his back, unmoving while NvL sets the table up in the center of the ring. Then, with a low chuckle, NvL moves over to the downed Bishop. He places his foot across the neck before shushing the crowd with a single red finger across his lips. Then he placed his full body weight across Bishop’s throat as he balanced on the one foot.
Nikki Venus: Nathan von Liebert with The Choker. An absolutely disgusting technique, if I’ve ever seen one.
After a few long moments, NvL hops off of Bishop’s throat and drops to the mat for a pinfall. Johnny Reef quickly obliges.
It was difficult to tell what exactly happened. Some would say after that night that NvL pulled Kevin’s shoulder off the mat; others would claim that Kevin himself kicked out. In actuality, it had been a little bit of both, but the fans would believe what they wanted to.
Meanwhile, in the ring, Nathan pulls Kevin Bishop to his feet and steps behind the champ. He locks him in that reverse facelock once more and then, with a heave, lifts Kevin Bishop into the air.
Nikki Venus: Straight Jacket Drop!
NO! Again, Bishop powers out of Nathan von Liebert’s clutches as he lands on his feet behind NvL. Nathan turns to face the champ, but Bishop spends him back around with a spinning backfist that Bishop then immediately transitions into a German Suplex. With a heave, Bishop sends NvL crashing neck first through the table, driving his shoulders on the mat. He tries to hold the bridge, but his knee buckles and Bishop is forced to crawl over and drape his arm across NvL’s chest. It wasted precious seconds, but could it still be enough?
Nikki Venus: NvL kicks out! The match continues
Joey Flash: Yippee.
Nikki Venus: Both men are down, but stirring. Who seizes what will probably be the last opportunity to seal this match?
Both men use the ropes to get to their feet. Bishop throws a right! NVL throws a stump punch back! Back and forth these men go, the tension building, the crowd is on their feet! Bishop winds up and ducks, it was a fake! He drops behind and locks NVL in another German! Nathan elbows his way out of it, turns and absolutely CLOCKS Bishop with an elbow strike! This knocks Bishop into the ropes, and on the return, is wrapped up!
Nikki Venus: Straight Jacket Drop! Oh no!
BOOM Bishop lands right on his dome. Nathan falls into the cover!
Nathan von Liebert wins his return to XIII! He rolls off Kevin Bishop and heads right to the backstage area with little-to-no fanfare.
Joey Flash: Good effort by the 2016 Rookie Fuccboi of the Year, but Nathan von Liebert was too much on this day!
XIII fades to yet another music video of some kind.
RABID VS RICHARDS
The half crazed audience is packed tight and lit up as they bash the XIII metal barriers near them with their hands and chant long and loud.
Crowd: SOMEONE'S GONNA GET THEIR FUCCIN' HEADZ KICKED IN! TAP! TAP! TAP!...TAP!TAP! SOMEONE'S GONNA GET THEIR FUCCIN' HEADZ KICKED IN! TAP! TAP! TAP!...TAP!TAP! SOMEONE'S GONNA GET THEIR FUCCIN' HEADZ KICKED IN! TAP! TAP! TAP!...TAP!TAP!
Nikki Venus: You can sense it! The crowd here knows what's coming! Everybody knows what's coming! This is it. The grudge match! It's a legendary Spector of old Pantheon, verses a bloodthirsty venomous soldier of the new. It's Alex Richards verses Johnny Rabid. Ripper verses Arch Duke. Fuck, this crowd is LIT UP! Flash?
Joey Flash: Bodybag of the night, Nikki! Rabid's gonna pull an NVL on this UCI fuccboi tons of fun and crucify him! On a very sturdy cross! Probably wedged up with steel scaffolding!
“Death Breath - Toxic Avenger Remix” by Bring Me The Horizon hits as the XIII curtains part to reveal Rabid dressed in cut off back jeans, black arm pads, black kick pads, wrist tape and a Pantheon sleeveless tee. He's dressed for hardcore, indy combat as he has a cricket bat slung over his right shoulder while calmly swaggering down the narrow isle towards the ring. Dodging the occasional bottle of piss along the way.
Crowd: WE PLAY BASEBALL! TAP! TAP! TAP!...TAP!TAP! WE PLAY BASEBALL! TAP! TAP! TAP!...TAP!TAP! WE PLAY BASEBALL! TAP! TAP! TAP!...TAP!TAP!
One bottle of piss flies straight at the ripper as Rabid suddenly swings the bat, the bottle flying back like an angry cruise missile into the crowd and exploding all over them!
Crowd: WE'RE DRENCHED IN PISS! WE'RE DRENCHED IN PISS! WE'RE DRENCHED IN PISS!
Rabid just shrugs off the jeers as he enters the ring, the bat yanked away from his person however by the ref, Johnny Reef, as Rabid and Reef begin to argue!
Joey Flash: More Johnny's in dah ring, than they are in dah restrooms! Fuccin' hell lmfao!
The opening guitar solo to I'm Not Like Everybody Else by the Kinks plays as Alex Richards steps through the curtain, his doctor's bag in one hand, a boot filled to the brim with Zim-Quila in the other. The crowd cheers as Alex waves, then downs the boot of Zim-Quila in one massive gulp as he stumbled to the ring!
Joey Flash: Look at this fat fgt! Omfg!
Alex (dressed in his traditional shirt and tie) offers a test of strength. Rabid hesitantly steps forward and raises his left hand to match Alex's right. Then kicks Alex in the gut!
Nikki Venus: Irish whip!
Alex ducks an incoming clothesline, bouncing off the opposite ring ropes and rebounding back with a thundering forearm smash!
Move connects as Alex goes for a quick pin. Doesn't get to one before Rabid has kicked out and kipped to his feet. Alex with another forearm, ducked and countered up by a vicious enziguri from Rabid that echoes around the arena. Rabid goes for the pin but this time it's Alex who kicks out with authority.
Nikki Venus: Nice exchange there by the two men.
Joey Flash: Yeah, exchanging phone numbers, lmfao!
Rabid shoulder charges Alex into the turnbuckle and goes for more follow on shoulder changes as Alex clubs Rabid's back and tries to Irish whip Rabid out of the ring.
Nikki Venus: Move reversed!
Alex is cannon's over the top rope but lands on his feet! Meanwhile Rabid is on the outside ring apron as he hits a flying drop kick!
Nikki Venus: Incoming!
The drop kick connects as both men crash into the barrier! Rabid staggers to his feet first and goes for more shoulder charges as he has Alex pinned against the barrier, this descends into flying lefts and rights from both men as they brawl with the crowd screaming right on top of them.
The ref begins the count. 1...2...3..
Rabid Irish whips Alex as the Arch Duke is slammed into the far crowd barrier. Rabid signals for the Olay kick! But as the Ripper charges at Alex, he finds himself back body-dropped into the crowd!
Chairs and punters crash to the floor as Rabid is on dream street. Alex swarms the scene as he pushes aside some drunken louts and lifts up Rabid by his now bloody hair. Suplexing the ripper back down to the concrete floor!
Alex whips Rabid back into the ring to break the count and begins to stamp on Rabid's chest. Rabid grabs Alex's boot and kip up's! The Ripper suddenly dragon whips Alex to the ground and goes for the anaconda vice!
Nikki Venus: The Serpent strikes! Rabid has “The Bite” locked in!
Joey Flash: Put him away, Ripper!
Alex begins to scramble to the ropes as Rabid is forced to break the hold. Rabid with kicks to the back of Alex's head as he attempts to stand.
Nikki Venus: Low blow by Richards!
Joey Flash: Dah fuck?
Nikki Venus: Even as a fan favourite, Alex has never forgotten how to play dirty when needed, Flash!
Joey Flash: Fuccin' disgrace is wut it is! Omfg!
Rabid stumbles backwards as he clutches onto his nuts. Alex is up and charging as Rabid ducks and back body-drops Alex onto the ring apron with the Arch Duke landing on his feet. Rabid turns around as is clocked with a hard right by Alex! As the Ripper staggers backwards away, clutching his chin now, Alex climbs the top turn buckle!
Nikki Venus: Alex going airborne!
Joey Flash: Fuck is dis fgt thinking? Lmfao!
Alex leaps with a soaring cross-body as--
SUPERKICK OUTTAH KNOWHERE!
Boot collides with chin as all four hundred pounds of Mass confusion flies backwards as the kick connects!
Joey Flash: Cover dah slob! Lmfao!
Rabid hooks the leg and gets a two count!
Nikki Venus: Alex showing his resiliency!
Rabid goes for the cover again as Alex breaks out an eye rake! Rabid stumbles back as Alex locks in a waist lock and goes for a Suplex, blocked by Rabid who lowers his center of gravity and hits a fireman's carry, following that up with a leg drop. Alex staggers to his feet as Rabid goes for a German Suplex of his own. Alex powers out and hits a spine buster!
Alex Irish whips a stunned Rabid into a turnbuckle and follows that up with a running knee!
Nikki Venus: Alex in real control here!
Alex lifts Rabid to the top turnbuckle and signals for something special!
Nikki Venus: This looks bad!
Joey Flash: Kick out Rabid, ya prick! Omfg!
Alex lifts Rabid up over his head as he locks The Ripper's prone body into a gorilla press on the top turnbuckle, launching himself and Rabid off and slamming Rabid's head into the mat on the way down!
Nikki Venus: Fuck! Death Valley Driver! Death Valley Driver from the top rope! Alex with the cover!
No, kickout!!!! Kickout!!!!
Crowd: HOLYEEEE SHIEEET!!! HOLYEEEE SHIEEET!!! HOLYEEEE SHIEEET!!! HOLYEEEE SHIEEET!!!
Alex goes for the cover again quickly as Rabid thumbs Alex in the eyes with a desperation move, rolling away towards the ropes.
Nikki Venus: Rabid holding on for dear life to this contest!
Alex drags himself to his feet as he signals for the Final Enlightenment!
Nikki Venus: Rabid needs to think of something fast or this match is ovah!
Joey now has a large fresh carton of hot popcorn as he leans over the announce table on tender hooks! Throwing popcorn everywhere as he scoops it into his shocked mouth.
Joey Flash: Fuccin' hell this is too intense! OMFG!
Alex lifts Rabid up for the double handed choke-slam, as he does so, Rabid thumbs the eyes on the apex of the move and leaps and twists over Alex's head, performing a pitch perfect INVERSE HURRICANRANA!
Nikki Venus: Genius response!
Popcorn flies everywhere.
Joey Flash: Fuccin' Brit nearly gave me a heart attack!
Rabid suddenly finds a second wind as he's up and charging. He ducks a clothesline by Alex and goes for a spinning heel kick! Move connects as Rabid is fired up now, receiving a mixed reaction from the crowd as he hits a DDT!
Quick cover broken as Alex digs deep and hits an STO, followed up with a T Bone Suplex! Quick cover broken as Rabid calls for a time out.
Joey feigns choking on the popcorn! Holding his throat as his face turns purple! The ref is distracted as--
Rabid hits a swift kick to the nuts, Alex goes down!
Crowd: Fuck you, Rabid! Fuck you, Rabid! Fuck you, Rabid!
Rabid hooks in the arms and goes for the Kingdom Destroyer! He fucking nails it! Into the cover as the crowd keeps on him!
Nikki Venus: Johnny Rabid has pinned Alex Richards here at XIII!
Rabid stands up and takes in the crowd's reaction as Ref Reef holds his hand high.
Joey Flash: Pantheon reigns supreme over shittier Pantheon on this day, Nikki. Can't say I'm surprised.
Nikki Venus: It was a triumphant return to this crowd for Richards though, let's not discredit him at all. Great performance and I'm glad he took part.
Joey Flash: I'm not. Music video?
MOOR VS BALFORE
The static feed cuts back to the inside of the First Avenue venue. Eagle eye panning shot of the ring, the blood not even cleared from the prior bouts. The crowd is lighting up, ready to soak in more hellish bloodshed on this devil's night.
Nikki Venus: Another year, another absolutely disgusting XIII.
Joey Flash: The contests we've seen tonight...I don't even know if we can call them contests! Carnage, destruction...my own fucking wife took her turn cutting throats tonight.
Nikki Venus: It's fantastic, Joey...and it's not over yet.
The frantic opening to “21st Century Schizoid Man” by King Crimson plays throughout the historic concert hall as Wade Moor makes his way out onto the stage, half of his face covered with a faux leather face, a snarky grin wrapped around the side of his cheek. He scans the crowd as a tidal wave of electricity surges through them and the next bout is on. The song moves into the heavy pickup as Wade extends his arms out to the side.
Taylor Swift: On his way to the ring, standing at six foot two and weighing two hundred and fifty five pounds...WADE “GODNILLAAAAAA” MOOOOOOOOOOR!!!
Nikki Venus: Wade is a relative newcomer to XIII, but his penchant for violence is strong.
Joey Flash: With an opponent like The Allfather, everything is on the line for my compatriot tonight...this match is huge, and the implications are even bigger!
Nikki Venus: Odin Balfore is a legend in the wrestling business. He's going to make Wade work for the win tonight.
Wade slides into the ring and approaches the southern end of the ring, throwing his arms out to the side once more as blue, green, and golden streamers are tossed into the ring. Ringhands begin to immediately clear the ring as Wade takes center stage, thousand yard stare locked on the entrance ramp, awaiting his opponent. The crowd picks up on his attention and immediately divert theirs.
Crowd: ODIN BALFORE!!! - CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP - ODIN BALFORE!!! - CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP - ODIN BALFORE!!! - CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP
Joey Flash: Shut your insolent mouths you fucking smarks!
Nikki Venus: You can't quell The Allfather's power.
READY OR NOT, HERE I COME, GONNA FIND YOU AND TAKE IT SLOWLY...
The crowd goes fucking nuts as “Ready or Not” by the Fugees hits the P.A and Odin steps out onto the stage. His eyes, a narrow slit, harrowing in on his opponent standing in the ring. He methodically makes his way to the ring, shoulders a firm line standing strong against Wade Moor.
Taylor Swift: And his opponent, standing at a massive seven feet tall and weighing three hundred and fourty pounds...THE ALLFATHER, OOOOOOODIN BAAAAALFOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!
The crowd lights up again as Odin stops at the ring mat, staring in at Wade with a smile like a Glasgow necktie. He slowly marches up the ring steps and hauls himself over the very top rope with a ferocity that shook the Earth. Wade paces towards his corner as The Allfather approaches the crowd, throwing his arm high into the air, and turns back towards his opponent.
Nikki Venus: The energy is electric. I don't even know what to say.
Joey Flash: Don't say anything at all. Just watch the magic unfold.
DING DING DING!
The match officially begins as The Allfather stands in the center of the ring, mentally beckoning Wade to approach him. Wade keeps to his corner, taking a near kneel against the turnbuckle, watching Odin with a glint in his eyes. He smiles, strokes his beard, and stands to his feet, approaching Odin. He bucks up to the man, the tip of his forehead barely touching Odin's chin, but he keeps a stalwart stance. Odin, through his teeth, whispers...
Odin Balfore: Step up, son.
Wade cracks a smile...just as he cracks Odin Balfore across the jaw with a heavy handed punch, nearly toppling Balfore to his feet. Another punch! Another! Each one lands with even more ferocity, seizing the opportunity to take down The Allfather. Odin bounds against the ropes...and comes back with a lightning fast lariat, crushing Moor to the mat below. The crowd oohs as Odin lets loose a fury of kicks and stomps, stamping an outline of Wade in the middle of the XIII ring. He brings down a massive stomp...but Wade barely rolls out of the way and stands to his feet.
Odin Balfore: What's poppin' Wade?
Wade wipes his bloody nose and cracks another smile.
Wade Moor: Lucky shot.
Odin charges Wade with an enormous boot, but Wide side steps it and bounces off the ropes. As Odin turns around, he catches a lightning quick crossbody that drops Odin directly on his back. Wade laughs and drops down on him with a crushing senton, knocking the wind clear out of the Se7en God. Wade shakes off the impact and quickly climbs to his feet, dragging Odin up by the God-bun. He grabs him underneath the neck and lifts him for a suplex...but Odin keeps his feet planted firmly on the ground.
Odin Balfore: I'm The Allfather, lil cuz. Go hard.
Odin quickly reverses the move and drops Wade with a jarring brainbuster that leaves his metaphorical grey matter scattered across the ring. Wade is barely able to keep his eyes open as Odin bounces off the ropes and drops his uberthick leg down on the throat of Godnilla. Odin quickly slides around and hooks the leg of Moor.
BUTT Wade quickly throws his shoulder up, effectively breaking the pinfall. Not too much celebration is had as Odin quickly unleashes a few right crosses to the cheekbone of Wade Moor, splitting him underneath the eye. Blood quickly starts to pour as Odin lifts Moor to his feet. He charges him into the turnbuckle with a flurry of offense, finishing the combo with a thrust kick. Wade sits dormant in the corner as Odin uses his momentum, taunting the crowd, and charging into Wade with a dominating forearm...
But Wade dodges the attack, sending Odin chest first into the top turnbuckle. Odin bounces off as Wade lifts him with a jarring back suplex, but sends him toppling over the top rope and spilling to the floor outside. Odin hits the ground with a galaxy swerving impact and sprawls out. Wade gets his bearings and sees the All Father splayed out on the ground. His fists begin to shake as he rushes the opposite side of the ring and charges over the top rope with a flipping senton, crashing into Odin and the floor, rerighting the galaxy and cracking a few of Odin's ribs for good measure.
The crowd simultaneously oohs and shits their pants as the two lay motionless on the ground outside the ring. Wade convulses as he tries to get back to his feet. Odin's face contorts as he comes back to life, trying desperately to regain his bearings. Wade slides toward the apron and slowly starts to get himself back to his feet. He lifts a struggling Odin to his feet and bounces his head off the ring apron. Odin bounds off the apron and stumbles to the barricade.
Wade shoves Odin ribs first into the barricade and Odin trips up, barely clinging to his feet as Wade approaches him. He grabs him by the back of the head and forces his face into the top of the steel steps...BUTT Odin catches the steps and bounces Wade nose first off the steps, knocking him to a kneeling position. Odin bounces his knee off of Wade's temple, sending him careening to his hands and knees. Odin lifts Wade by the back of the head, forcing his head into his THICK, and lifts him into a powerbomb position.
Nikki Venus: Oh shit.
Joey Flash: Vigilance, Wade!
Odin drops Wade with the Mark of Odin directly into the crowd, crumpling him into a bevy of steel chairs and bodies!
Crowd: HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK!
Odin climbs over the barricade and lifts Wade to his feet. Wade can barely make left or right of his feet before Odin jams him head first into the barricade. He lifts him back up again and drops him with a backbreaker onto the barricade. Wade is barely concscious, as Odin lifts his big ass up onto the barricade, maintaining his balance perfectly as he does. He stands there for a moment, leveling as a crane in the water, before dropping on Wade with a massive leg drop, sending him jarred to the ring floor below.
Crowd: THIS IS THICKKORE! THIS IS THICKKORE! THIS IS THICKKORE!
Odin throws his arm over Wade, going for the pinfall.
Nikki Venus: NO! WADE KICKS OUT! HOW THE FUCK!
Joey Flash: THAT'S THE POWER OF THE LEVIATHAN!
Odin has that “how the fuck” look in his eye as he the pinfall is broken. He uses the barricade to climb to his feet and grabs Wade around his gullet. He lifts him to his feet and picks him up for another Mark of Odin...but a few scattered head shots break Odin's grip and allow Wade to slip out of the maneuver. Wade grabs Odin around the singlet and tosses him neck first into the steel steps. Odin lays stunned against the steps as Wade backs up a few paces before charging him with a CANNONBALL that rocks the entire arena.
Crowd: GODNILLA! GODNILLA! GODNILLA! GODNILLA! GODNILLA!
Both men lay motionless on the floor, but Wade barely slips his arm over the chest of Odin Balfore.
Joey Flash: NO HOLY SHIT THAT WAS IT! HOW THE FUCK DID ODIN NOT DIE?
Nikki Venus: You have to admire Wade's ability to use his entire body as a weapon like this. He put a lot on the line with that move, but Odin Balfore didn't relent!
Wade punches the arena floor as he searches underneath the ring for a new weapon...pulling out a pair of A E S T H E T I C A L L Y pleasing brass knuckles. Wade turns to use them on The Allfather, but a jarring big boot sends him sprawling into the ring apron, the brass knuckles sliding across the arena floor as he did. Odin grabs Wade by the head and jams him directly into the turnbuckle, opening his forehead for good measure.
Wade hits the mat hard as Odin celebrates the bloodshed, his roar rumbling the arena. He goes to pick Wade up...but Wade cracks Odin upside the head with the brass knuckles, splitting his wig, turning his brilliant head of white hair a deep shade of crimson. Odin stumbles as Wade slides him into the ring, his blood spilling across the stained white canvas. He crawls in after him and lifts Odin up to his feet, kicking him in the gut, and hooking his arms around his back. He lifts him in the air and drops him with a package piledriver that knocks the entire crowd on their asses. He hooks his leg for the pinfall.
Nikki Venus: NO! THAT WAS THE END BUT ODIN REFUSES TO QUIT!
Joey Flash: UNLEASH THE LEVIATHAN! HOW THE HELL DID ODIN GET THE SHOULDER UP?! WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?!?!?!
Wade's eyes go wide as the battle begins to catch up with him. His eyelids flutter as he falls backwards, and both men are now down.
Nikki Venus: Oh no...what the hell are they doing here?
Joey Flash: Finally, some order is getting restored!
Jared Holmes and Johnny Rabid both make their way down to the ring, sliding in underneath the bottom rope to check on Wade. They do their best to revive them before laying stomps into the prone Odin. They deliver shot after shot before lifting Wade to his feet. Jared and Johnny lift Odin up underneath the arms, urging Wade to deliver the killing blow. Wade winds up for the BROSEIDON PUNCH...
T U R T L E POWER T U R T L E POWER T U R T L E POWER!!!
The crowd ignites as TMNT Security – Diablo Calzone, Maurice Zangles, and Colin Marshall – all storm the ring, delivering clubbing blows to each member of #BeachKrew. The fresh trio are able to get the quick advantage over the beaten men, but Wade jacks Zangles in the gut with a knee, toppling him over, before sending him over the top rope to the floor below. Jared and Johnny deliver dropkicks to Calzone and Marshall as Wade stumbles into the ropes. A recovering Allfather charges Johnny and Jared, sending them both over the top rope with a double clothesline. The five men start to recover outside the ring as Wade charges Odin...
Nikki Venus: ODIN SENDS WADE OVER THE TOP ROPE!
Wade crashes into both TMNT Security and #BeachKrew and all six men crash to the floor outside in a heap of mangled bodies. Odin roars again and the entire might of Asgard rolls through the arena, breeding all things THICK as it does! Odin rolls out of the ring and lifts Wade to his feet, slides him into the ring, and crawls in after him. Odin crawls over Wade, covering him for the pinfall.
Nikki Venus: THIS IS IT!
Joey Flash: NO! HELL YEAH MY MAN WADE GETS THE SHOULDER UP!
This time, Odin becomes infuriated, a year of pent up rage and aggression suddenly unleashed for the entire XIII crowd. He slams the mat, cracking the canvas in two, before lifting Wade to his feet.
Wade pushes himself away from Odin before bouncing back with a BROSEIDON PUNCH out of nowhere...but Odin quickly jars him with the SURTR'S REVENGE, and both men stumble. Odin quickly wraps his hand around the throat of Wade, lifting him over his shoulders and jacking his bloodied face with the ODIN SHRUGGED...but Wade somehow keeps his balance. Odin's face changes fifty shades of red in nanoseconds before grabbing around the throat once more and drops him with the RAGNAROK.
Nikki Venus: That's it...lights out Wade.
Joey Flash: ...I...I don't...
Odin drops to his knees and hooks Wade's leg for the pin.
DING DING DING!
Joey Flash: …
Nikki Venus: That's it! The Allfather wins it!
Odin flips over to his side, finally allowing the toll of the fight to be exacted on his body. He clutches his ribs, wipes his bloody face...all in the name of victory. He pushes himself back to his feet and taunts for the crowd as Wade rolls out of the ring. Jared and Johnny both manage to catch him as he stumbles to the arena floor. Odin raises his arms in victory...just as the three of them charge the ring once again and attack Odin from behind.
The three of them start to beat The Allfather down, trading hit after hit with the other. Odin fights valiantly...but the attack is too much. He falls to his knees as Wade lands a devastating BROSEIDON PUNCH...Jared and Johnny grab him underneath the arms once more, sacrificing him at the altar of Godnilla...
“KILLING IN THE NAME OF!”
THE CROWD LOSES THEIR GOD DAMN SHIT AS THAT RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE PIECE HITS THE FUCKING P.A. AND MOTHERFUCKING BOBBY CAIRO RUSHES THE RING! #BeachKrew hit the deck, sliding out of the ring as Bobby Cairo – dressed to the nines - runs the ramp and slides in to fight off the UNTHICK-NI! They all stand at individual ends of the ring, Bobby motioning for them to bring it to him!
Nikki Venus: I CANT BELIEVE IT! BOBBY CAIRO IS HERE!
Joey Flash: I THOUGHT THIS CUNT FUCKING DIED WITH IMPERIUM?!
Odin Balfore climbs to his feet, greeting his long time tag team partner with a simple handshake, #BeachKrew standing a triangle around the ring. Bobby accepts the handshake and the crowd loses their minds...
Nikki Venus: Wait...
Bobby keeps a firm hold on the handshake and pulls Odin back in, dropping him with a #RKAAAIIIIJJJUUUUUOUTTTAAMOTHAFAWKINNOWHYUH!!!
The crowd immediately turns on Cairo, who turned on his acclaimed tag team parter in motherfucking THICK, severing the strongest bond in the DUB.
Nikki Venus: What did we just see?
The camera focuses on Bobby Cairo's face, staring down at his unconscious former tag team partner, a dull gleam in his sapphire eyes. He stands to his feet...as #BeachKrew begin to smile. They slide into the ring as Bobby takes off his suit jacket, revealing the #BeachKrew tank top underneath to an enormous chorus of boos from the heated crowd. They all lift their hands up and hit that TOO THICKSKEE RIGHT FUGGEN THERE.
Joey Flash: HA! THEY WORKED YOU FUCKING SMARKS! GET FUCKING REKT U CUNTS!
Nikki Venus: I can't believe it! I can't believe we just saw Bobby Cairo join the indomitable ranks of #BeachKrew.
Joey Flash: Technically a splinter of Pantheon, so in reality this was all part of my ingenious plan. Suck my dick noobs.
Nikki Venus: Long term, what the hell does this mean?
Joey Flash: When Gods and Demons work together, the world fucking burns.
The scene fades out on the four of them celebrating over an unconscious Odin. No music video this time. Just the biggest return of the last 5 years.
GRAVEDIGGER VS SANCHEZ
Royal Blood booms through the speakers in the jam-packed First Avenue concert-hall. Hometown and haunt of event co-ordinator, Hall of Famer and Pantheon leader Corey Black who will battle Jeff Purse in the main event. The guitars are more grungy than usual; the small arena’s acoustics tested by the fluctuation of tablature heard in Out of the Black. A chorus of boos follows Sanchez as he steps out of the curtain; taking what he would describe as his rightful place front and center-stage.
Nikki Venus: David Sanchez, who’s been a one-man wrecking crew recently. Dominating Final Destination, taking out Gemini Battle and coming off of a fairly easy win on Slam against Captain Pantheon.
Joey Flash: Dave’s just starting to realize how good he is, and in Pantheon we will nurture and progress that potential until he can call himself one of the best in the world and people take him seriously.
Nikki Venus: What about you Joey? Do you take him seriously? Nobody’s really went on record and said much since he won Final Destination; and if that doesn’t make him a threat after what Logan did to you at Fifteen, then I don’t know what does.
The World Champion ignores the question, instead rising to his feet at the commentary table and applauding his stablemate who slowly walks the length of the shorter-than-normal ramp. The crowd is overcome with a mixture of emotions; predominantly hate which Sanchez seems to feed from on his crusade, floating atop the heat like the smoke which rises from the flame.
Taylor Swift: The following contest is a grudge match; and will not stop until a winner is declared. Making his way to the ring first from Bogota, Colombia. Weighing in at two-hundred and twenty-three pounds. He is the two-thousand and sixteen Final Destination winner, and the Mayor of Chicago. Daaaaaavid Saaaaanchez!!
Nikki Venus: Next up is our second to last match; one that’s been building since War of twenty fifteen and finally gets to happen right here tonight. Between a Hall of Famer and this year’s Final Destination winner. A little bit of old school versus new school if you like.
Joey Flash: What the fuck are you talking about? It’s Sanchez and he’s against Gravedigger - who, by the way I already pinned last week. Just saying. I predict a lot of grunting, and a convincing Pantheon victory. End of story.
Even T-Swift’s melodic introduction can’t sell the man with the serpent’s smile to the rabid Minneapolis cult following crammed into First Avenue from floorboard to ceiling fan. The crowd jeers and hurls trash at him as he simply drops his pace and shimmies under the top rope, the briefcase containing the Final Destination contract being handed to Taylor with a bow of respect in lieu of her glorious musical talents, or more like due to her affiliation with Creeping Death.
Joey Flash: I still think the guys in production and talent development should change which fuccin’ tribal, shanty-town this guy gets billed from each week.
Nikki Venus: That’s because you’re a racist dickhead, Joey.
Joey Flash: --- Speaking of dicks! ‘Attaboy Dave.
Taylor Swift makes to hand the briefcase to a stagehand, but as she releases the case is growled at by Sanchez, who forces her to take the briefcase out to the timekeepers are herself. Allowing the Mayor a sly observation of her posterior, or perhaps a check to see that she was not tampering with his case as she bends to exit the ring. With his music still bellowing out of the speakers, Sanchez picks his corner,and waves to Joey at the commentary table. Routine satisfied, he begins to stretch out his calfs and quads on the ropes; his eyes firmly fixed on the makeshift ramp which has been erected for this homecoming event.
Nikki Venus: Tepid applause from a few smarks in the audience tonight for the self-proclaimed next World Champion but nothing remotely strong enough to drown out the overwhelming surplus of boos.
Joey Flash: We’re in Minneapolis, the “I’ll pay for it later“ city. Most of these people’s cable got cut off in 2011, they probably don’t even know who Davey Sanchez is. And that Nikki; is entirely their loss.
“Change” by the Deftones kicks into full effect and immediately the mild disapproval from the crowd multiplies; their chorus of boos is now deafening as Gravedigger too steps out onto the tiny stage; flanked on either side by a member of MS-13, each of whom match the legend’s height and muscle tone. He walks with purpose and with anger, slapping away the hands of fans who try to touch the former three-time World Champion and Hall of Famer.
Nikki Venus: Gravedigger; set for his third match this calendar year; and third consecutive opponent that will be flying the Pantheon banners. He’s not come alone though..
Joey Flash: When does he ever? I swear these ethnic cunts grow on trees. They seem to be endless.
Nikki Venus: Mara Salvatrucha is a pretty influential street-gang Joey; an actual count of their members would probably land in the range of a five digit figure.
Joey Flash: Regardless... Mara Salvatrucha? the gang better known as MS-13 are a shower of wannabe Lobos fuccbois and they’ll probably be the only hope ‘Digger has in this match, so we can’t exactly knock a plumber for bringing his tools to work now, can we?
John Borroughs walks with purpose from the moment he becomes visible; clearly still pissed off at Sanchez for either the thrust kick or the three count in his match with Joey Flash last week. At the bottom of the ramp he throws his arms out and yells out with a look of rage on his face. The crowd continually drowns the legend in boos and his face quickly turns into a smirk as he looks out at the masses before finally focusing in on the ring, and the new challenge that awaits him.
Taylor Swift: His opponent, - making his way to the ring tonight from Phoenix, Arizona and weighing in at 258 pounds. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for a legend in this sport and a WCF Hall of Famer. He is.... The Epitome of Hardcore… Graaaavediggerrrrrr!!
Taylor kills it again with the introduction; if ever that musical career of her’s went down the pipes she’d certainly give Kyle Steel a run for his money. As the trio reaches ringside, the two bikers walk off to one side, eyeing the crowded bar area as Gravedigger steps swiftly in between the top and middle rope. Bouncing into the ring with a shit-eating grin, he llooks straight through Sanchez and politely tells Johnny Reef where he can shove his pre-match lecture. He walks around the squared circle looking out at the crowd who have loathed him for so many years for one last time before stopping at one of the turnbuckles. He stands on the middle pad and smirks out at the crowd as they continue to rain boos down upon him.
Nikki Venus: All running jokes aside; Gravedigger is one of the biggest names in this company’s illustrious history and he looked as good as he ever did main eventing Slam against the man next to me recently. Joey; in your opinion - what are the legend’s chances here tonight as he steps into the ring with an on-form David Sanchez.
Joey Flash: Slim to none Nikki. Dave’s going to kick this relic in the skull so hard that he spends the rest of the Night wondering where Mike D is.
Nikki Venus: No bias here then?
Joey Flash: Zero.
Sanchez and Gravedigger stare at one another for a moment; their eyes locked in a heated debate as the crowd just boos both men in unison, their interests peaked by talent and not simple taste. After a little while, it becomes clear to the referee that these men are not about to shake hands or engage in a collar and elbow tie-up. Abandoning hope, he turns to the timekeeper and signals for the bell, causing both men to rush forward like rabid dogs with their collars loosened.
Nikki Venus: Right hook by Gravedigger.
Joey Flash: Left forearm from Sanchez
Nikki Venus: Another right hook.
Joey Flash: Another left forearm, and another, and another…
The audience pops ever so slightly as Sanchez drives his forearm into Gravedigger’s temple for the seventh time; the world goes bright for a moment in Digger’s existence, the adrenaline surging through his body as he finds the fight that he knew was in there. With the agility of a man much smalle;r he sidesteps number eight, a rabbit punch into David’s kidneys as he does so before hooking his arm and planting Sanchez into the mat with a Rock Bottom that makes the original pop sound like a soda can opening.
Nikki Venus: Respecto! Thirteen seconds into this match it could already be over!
Joey Flash: What the full-tilt fuck is that shit?!
Gravedigger wastes no motion, he clambers straight into the pin; hooking Sanchez by the outside leg as his two MS-13 friends already begin celebrating on the outside of the ring. He feels it, this was his time to cause destruction; not to pick up pity victories. Before Johnny Reef can even hit the mat, he changes his mind. Opting instead to drag David up to his feet and hoist him overhead into a torture rack. Stomping his feet and occasionally dropping to one knee in order to torque the hold.
Johnny Reef: David. Do you want to give up?
David screams his refusal defiantly and continues to feel as his back and ribcage is torn apart across the back of his opponent. Gravedigger smiles and growls at the same time, wrenching his arms as he stares out at the faces in the crowd; their likeness a fine painting and David’s screams a swan song serenade.
Joey Flash: Okay.--- This is getting redundant.
Nikki Venus: Care to elaborate?
Joey Flash: He could have had the arm two minutes ago; he’s leaving himself wide open.
Nikki Venus: I’m not too sure, he’s locked in that Gringo Stretcher pretty tight.
Flash gains a worried look as Gravedigger continues to bend his opponent around his back and shoulders, blissfully unaware that he has wandered ever so slightly closer to the ropes which Sanchez hooks his feet around immediately. Knowing that a rope break will serve him no favours this evening under Thirteen’s rules though he instead uses the pull to distract Digger, who leaves his face unprotected and allows the briefest but most accurate of eye gouges.
Joey Flash: Move of the night! Nine point five out of ten. Encore!
Nikki Venus: Sanchez stuffing his middle and index fingers right into Gravedigger’s left eye socket in front of the official there.
Joey Flash: And there’s nothing he can do. Blind the prick. Fishhook that old cunt, Davey boy!
Nikki Venus: Someone’s still a little bitter about the dick kick aren’t they? I think he might have to see a chiropractor first Joey. That looked like he was going on instinct alone.
Near crippled, his back in excruciating pain, Sanchez manages to wriggle free as Digger blindly swipes at the air; his feet landing firmly planted on the apron. Without thought, he swings his right leg through the ropes and kicks Gravedigger in the knee. The legend crumbles as the renowned striker plants another stiff kick into his patella; the weight of his body taking it’s toll on the ligament.
Joey Flash: These kicks are something you dread all week if you know you’re going to be working against Dave. He’ll look to knot up the quadriceps and go for the side-leg lock. Ultimately aiming to hyper-extend this senile old cunt’s knee.
Nikki Venus: You have a lovely way with words.
Joey Flash: I have a lovely way with everything. That’s why I’m Joey Flash.
Untrue to his friend’s prediction, Sanchez reaches through the ropes, his back screaming out in pain as he hauls Digger through the ropes in a front facelock. Gripping ahold of the weakened leg. Without warning David jumps in the fashion of a shinbreaker from the lip of the ring to the dancefloor of First Avenue. Ultimately causing his opponents bended knee to collide awkwardly with the ring apron; globally known to be the hardest part.
Nikki Venus: Innovative spin on a traditional shinbreaker there from Sanchez; who, if we’re going on what my partner says - will be looking to target that leg and look for a submission.
Joey Flash: Do I look like I’m reading from a crystal ball. I’m just saying what I’d do; Dave’s smart enough to take his own path; call the fucking match woman.
Nikki Venus: SHINNNBRRRREAKAHHH!!
Joey Flash: …
Sanchez can’t capitalize on this though. Instead he falls to the dancefloor himself, in agony after spending a minute and a half locked inside the Gringo Stretcher. The audience is cleared from around the railing, and just in time as an MS-13 advocate blindsights David from behind. Leaping the rail just before security ushers the crowd away. Immediately Flash abandons his post at commentary, the headset dropping with a crackle - and rushes to the aid of his fallen comrade. He viciously obliterates the tattooed Latino with a running knee strike before he can do further damage to Sanchez, his formal attire tailored for such emergencies apparently.
Nikki Venus: Get this match under control Reef! You had one job!
Gravedigger winces, his knee buckling as he gets to his feet. Another gang member comes to his aid; helping him find steady footing but quickly finds the floor himself as Flash rushes the second Latino man with a matching knee so that he can feel his fallen friend’s pain. Gravedigger grabs the World Champion around the throat with both hands and launches him into the barricade though. Winded, Flash stumbles forwards; dodging a standing lariat from John Borroughs before landing a counter-punch that rocks Gravedigger’s jaw.
Nikki Venus: Sudden Flash to Gravedigger… again.
Just as Flash realizes he has done exactly what he begged David not to do during his Slam match it so happens that Sanchez has caught sight of the situation. Visually and audibly unhappy with what has transpires, the Colombian approaches his friend and points out what he already knew. The two exchange heated words for a moment and tensions rise in First Avenue as they both clench their fists at ringside; mere feet from one another.
Nikki Venus: Jared Holmes is here now; he’s getting in-between them. Thank the lord, Pantheon must prevail.
The 6ix God intervenes from out of nowhere, noticing the impending implosion from his perch in the VIP section right in front of the bar area. He throws himself between his two friends - playing the voice of reason and hoping that cooler heads will prevail. Sanchez snarls at Holmes and Flash, telling the World Champion to do his job and commentate, to do exactly what he had done for the One Punch Man as guest referee on Slam.
Nikki Venus: Holmes seems to have calmed the situation, and my partner’s coming back over to the commentary table.
Joey Flash: … I’m back, sorry about that Nikki; did you mange to call the action without me? Who am I kidding, of course you didn’t.
Nikki Venus: Surprisingly, yes. I assume you’ll be remaining seated for the rest of the match?
Joey Flash: That would seem to be the case. It’s fine with me; try to do a guy a favour and this is the thanks you get…
Nikki Venus: Didn’t you ask him to do the same thing? You know, to let him do this on his own?
Joey Flash: That’s different though, I’m Joey Flash. I’m the World Champion. People need to know that I can get the job done on my own. Dave’s just cutting his nose off to spite his face and it’s going to come back to bite him in the ass. Mark my words.
Jared spends a little longer trying to calm the Mayor; with little to no success. After so long he concedes defeat and stops talking to the brick wall of rage in front of him; retreating to his seat at the bar where the new Mrs. Holmes waits with her Drambuie in hand. Domestic disputes aside, Sanchez turns his attention back to the man he is competing with; Gravedigger who now finds himself back to a vertical base; his ears still ringing from the vicious counter-punch courtesy of The Man with a Hammer in his Hand.
Nikki Venus: Gravedigger’s back up to his feet now, and so is Sanchez. For the moment it would seem that both MS-13 and Pantheon have exhausted their involvement in this match.
Joey Flash: Yeah. We know where we’re not wanted Dave, suit yourself.
With Pantheon taking a proverbial knee and at least the first wave of MS-13 interference handled for the time being, Gravedigger and Sanchez lock up once more; finally finding themselves in that elusive collar and elbow tie-up, still on the dancefloor of First Avenue on the outside of the ring. Digger gains control of the hold; taking his opponent’s weight up and down effortlessly with a belly to belly suplex. The crowd boos the returning legend, but he doesn’t mind; after all these years their distasteful remarks were beginning to feel like the soundtrack to his life.
Nikki Venus: Textbook belly to belly suplex from the big man in black.
Joey Flash: You make him sound like Johnny Cash’s chubby cousin.
Digger smiles as he plots his next move, watching Sanchez crawl across the dancefloor surrounding the ring like a wounded dog. He soon takes swift and decisive action, kicking his opponent in the gut so hard that it causes the Mayor to cough and splutter, mere inches from the crowd-control barrier as Johnny Reef politely reminds the legend that pinfalls must still take place inside the ring and perhaps he would care to move the match in that general direction.
Shrugging off the referee’s positive vibes, Gravedigger cocks his leg again and drives it into David’s ribcage once more; the Final Destination winner’s moans of agony fueling him to repeat this process another twice before finally finding himself in front of the commentary booth, having basically kicked Sanchez from one side of the ringside padding to the other. He eyes Flash, looking to make a statement as he lifts David and slams him back to the ground from which he came with a vicious vertical suplex that knocks what little breath the Colombian had left out of his lungs.
Nikki Venus: Gravedigger now taking control of this match, and setting the pace just the way he likes it. Sanchez is going to have to dig deep i he wants to turn this match around and walk out of this one with what would be his most historic singles victory since debuting back in June of 2015.
Joey Flash: Dave’s got the conditioning of a man with half his age; he’ll come back from this it’s just a matter of time. The man is one of the best counter-fighters in the business and he’ll get himself back in this match just as soon as the big lug makes a mistake.
Nikki Venus: That’s a mighty tall order in this match though. Gravedigger’s not exactly some rookie that’s going to get starstruck and fuck up when the spotlights are shining. He’s had years of big match experience; decades really. If Sanchez is waiting for the legend to shit the bed, then I hope he’s brought his patience by the bucketload.
Seizing the moment, Gravedigger rolls his opponent’s body back into the ring, quickly following close behind; his black attire barely touched by perspiration as he looks to make short work of David Sanchez. He smiles triumphantly out at the crowd before dropping into a lateral press. Reef is quick to react, beginning to count his opponent’s shoulders to the mat immediately.
Sanchez gets his shoulder up at two-and-a-half, barely enough wind in his sails to shake the heavier man from the cover. Not at all surprised; a smirk forms on Gravedigger’s face as he lifts his opponent into the air once more and repeats the same spine-shattering vertical suplex, this time leaving David sprawled out in the center of the ring. Feeling froggy, he takes to the top rope with the ease and grace of a much younger, lighter man and draws the champion’s attention once more, diving from the top rope and connecting with the very points of the Mayor’s kneecaps.
Nikki Venus: Gravedigger looking to end Sanchez with Death from above but the crafty Mayor managing to get his knees up just in the nick of time!
Joey Flash: That, you miserable cunts is the mistake Dave was waiting for.
Nikki Venus: Well, this is only his third match in the space of a year, there’s bound to still be a little rust on the precious metal at this point. Funnily enough, he was looking right at you before he took to the air.
Joey Flash: I have that effect on the power-tops. They think I’m pretty.
Nikki Venus: Your hair does look remarkable tonight, what are you using?
Joey Flash: Are you serious? Call the fuccin’ match!
Worn out from the assault he’s absorbed in the opening ten minutes of this match, it takes Sanchez substantially longer than usual to get to his feet, where he stands and catches his breath for a moment before beginning to stomp away at the weakened leg of his opponent from earlier. With the viciousness of a dog eating dinner scraps, he hacks away at the knee joint, looking to weaken it further in preparation for eye his sambo leg-weave or a common knee-bar. That he’s been known to apply against larger opponents.
Joey Flash: Dave going back to that leg he brought crashing onto the apron at the start of the match, good strategy.
Nikki Venus: Over the last couple of months we’ve been seeing him taking a tendency to weaken a body part and look for the submission. I guess he got tired of just kicking people’s heads off.
A mule kick from Gravedigger is all it takes, his feet being driven with force into David’s abdomen and once again taking the breath out of the aggressor. He uses this window, and a hearty handful of the ropes to pull himself up to his feet, where unfortunately he is immediately flipped back onto the mat with a release butterfly suplex, Sanchez letting out a mighty grunt as he hoists the bigger man up and over.
From out of nowhere, the crowd boos loudly.
Joey Flash: Who in the hell are these two clowns?
The camera switches to the entrance stage as a pair of large men stand there with their arms crossed, staring intently into the ring.
Nikki Venus: Wow! Returns galore here at XIII as we are looking at Bishop and Priest!
Joey Flash: Bishop and Priest? Who the fuck is going to show up next…the Pope?
Bishop uncrosses his arms and draws an invisible line across his throat, pointing at the ring. By this time Gravedigger and David Sanchez are taking the opportunity for a breather as they both look out at the pair. Sanchez has a look of confusion on his face, while Gravedigger smirks at his former stablemates.
Nikki Venus: No, these two are former members of The Dark Side, Gravedigger’s legendary faction. They are also former tag team champions.
The boos quiet down as Bishop and Priest head back to the back.
Joey Flash: Well who the fuck are they threatening with that motion?
Nikki Venus: There’s no telling. They may be former stablemates of Gravedigger’s but they’ve also had their times here in WCF where they battled each other as well. Who else is going to appear tonight? Bobby Cairo? Hellz Angel?
Joey Flash: Hopefully someone who will put me out of my misery so I don’t have to watch these whack jobs return!
Sanchez is back to a vertical base, stalking Gravedigger as he lowers the purple and black pad on his own right knee, exposing a medical brace with metal buckles fastening it together. He fumbles with the clasp for a moment; loosening the brace just enough so that he can twist it ninety degrees, the hinges of metal now resting atop the kneecap. Without warning, he runs at Gravedigger, hitting top speed in the space of a blink before connecting with a shining wizard that causes the metal buckles to embed into, and ultimately lacerate the legend’s forehead; just above the left eye.
Joey Flash: You see Nikki, what did I tell you? All it takes is one mistake and Sanchez will make you regret everything you ever did wrong.
Nikki Venus: We’re seeing a new, more vicious side to David Sanchez as of late - he’s an ever-changing jack in the box of fighting styles lately. Any idea where that’s coming from Joey?
Joey Flash: Not a clue, he’s an angry guy. I know he trains with a new sambo instructor but he hasn’t been sparring with anyone in Pantheon since One, it’s a little strange actually.
Red is all he sees as the blood flows from the wound, a decent sized gash out his eyebrow where the hinged brace had impacted first. It blinded him momentarily; but as he lay there bleeding Gravedigger began to form a quiet rage, the referee pestering him insistently. Sanchez smiles and straightens the brace back up; fastening his bum knee back into place and rolling the pad back up.
Nikki Venus: I think Johnny Reef is calling for the ring doctor, that cut’s mighty close to Gravedigger’s eye.
Joey Flash: Not close enough if you ask me.
Sanchez is backed into a corner by the senior official as Gravedigger is ushered into the opposite one, a mask of crimson now ever-present atop his complexion. The doctor; a small man in spectacles with a receding hairline shines a small torch into the cut, and then the Hall of Famer’s retina, repeating the motion a few more times before shaking his head in the direction of the referee. Before anything can happen however, Sanchez charges forwards with a thrust kick into Gravedigger's temple!
Joey Flash: Medusa's Touch!
Nikki Venus: Sanchez with the pin!
Taylor Swift: The winner of this match by pinfall; David Sannnchezzz!
Gravedigger is up moments later, stunned but livid. Reef is first to feel his wrathful right hook as the blood pours from the legend’s eye socket. As David celebrates and Joey applauds from commentary MS-13 immediately storm the ring, but prove to be an unnecessary commodity as the Epitome of Hardcore does everything himself!
Before the mayor can even lift his hand and sample the spoils of victory he feels the devastating blow of a Grave Marker clothesline to the back of the head, and it’s pretty much lights out from there; ironic really as he’d just won under similar circumstances.
Joey Flash: Well, at least he won. Bravo Dave. 11/10
Nikki Venus: Would you be proud of that win? Gravedigger wanted to keep going, it was Reef and that doctor who called this match; who even is that doctor? I’ve not seen him before.
Joey Flash: What does it matter? Pantheon win again. Shock, horror. Called it.
The two gang members are quick to urge Digger out of the ring and up the ramp to the makeshift medical tent which had been assembled for the event as per the laws of the industry and these types of events. In the ring, lies motionless as Johnny Reef places his Final Destination briefcase under the Mayor’s limp arm and Joey Flash sarcastically applauds at the commentary table; a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach. Eventually, though, Sanchez does get up, and is met with cheers from the crowd.
As David Sanchez stands tall in the center of the ring after his harrowing victory over Gravedigger smoke begins to fill the entrance way as demons made of the same substance seem to form from within it.
Joey Flash: Da fuck is this shit?
Nikki Venus: It’s XIII, weirder shit has happened here.
Joey Flash: No, fuck this shit.
Flash gets up from his seat and joins Sanchez in the ring again as one of the smoke demons seems to drop a pile of ashes on the floor and another lights it ablaze. From the ashes rises a form that no one thought possible to see any longer.
Standing in the fire is Gemini Battle.
Nikki Venus: WHAT THE FUCK!
Holmes, Rabid, and Moor show up behind the smoke but appear to be stuck behind an invisible wall that they can’t penetrate. Sanchez is screaming at the figure that arose from the ashes as Flash holds him back, having a bit more experience with the supernatural than Sanchez.
David Sanchez: FUCK YOU… YOU’RE DEAD… I KILLED YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS!!!
The figure speaks.
Gemini Battle: You did kill me, but you see in Hell there are certain rules that if you follow you can get a little bit of leeway. For example. It’s Friday the Thirteenth… the least holiest of days. I sit at the right hand of the devil and with that come certain luxuries. You see, living a life full of TRUE sin really is worth it as long as you don’t stray. You are confined by your mortal and human mind and soul. You aren’t capable of the atrocities that I have reigned down upon the world. Operation Nimbus was MY idea. It was MY execution and it was done for MY reasons. You wanted it, but you couldn’t handle the power that it contained. You couldn’t handle MY power, David Sanchez…
Joey Flash: Shut the fuck up, you cunt. You couldn’t fuccin’ handle me, what makes you think you can handle Sancho here…
Gemini Battle: SHUT UP!
Gemini points at Flash and a snake appears and wraps itself around his mouth. Flash struggles to release it from his face with no avail. Sanchez looks for any way to help but is distracted by the booming voice of Gemini Battle.
Gemini Battle: I’m not returning to the WCF. I regret to say that THAT is beyond me means. I’m not like ZMac… I’m not immortal. I can be killed and I was killed and that is the end of me on this hell above hell. But there will be another XIII thus there will be another time for me to take corporeal form once more and finally EXACT MY REVENGE. Sanchez… if you make it to another XIII I am here to officially tell you that regardless of your standing here at WCF… whether it’s at this event or if it’s in the streets of Chicago or in the bowels of hell you and I will meet on October 13th and it will be the DAY of your RECKONING!
David Sanchez: Come down right now, you fucking coward!
Gemini Battle: Not now, David. October 13th… mark it in your FUCKING calendar.
The fire subsides and the smoke clears as Johnny, Wade and Jared rush through the smoke looking for any signs of Gemini before heading to the ring. The snake vanishes form Flashes face as does any remanence of it.
Nikki Venus: What the hell did we just see here?
Sanchez, Wade Moor, Jared Holmes, Johnny Rabid and Joey Flash stand in the ring looking around cautiously and optimistically as the scene fades.
Music. Video. Break. Fuck.
Joey Flash: It's been a fun night here at Thirteen, hasn't it?
Nikki Venus: It has! It's been incredible!
Crawl by Kings of Leon hits and the sold-out crowd of 1500 STANDING ROOM ONLY lose their shit!
Nikki Venus: Here we go, Flash!
Joey Flash: Oh don't even get me started on this nonsense!
Nikki Venus: Don't gotta be a hater!
Seth Lerch steps out onto the make-shift entrance stage with 5 security guards and the crowds hot, hot cheers turn to loud, deep boos.
Joey Flash: Hah! A Master Troll!
Nikki Venus: Wait.. Wait a minute, this is not Torture but it IS his music.
Seth Lerch steps into the ring with a microphone and the security guards surround him. He motions to cut off the music.
Joey Flash: The shirt Seth is wearing is even better!
Nikki Venus: Oh stop it.
Seth is smiling with his huge shit-eating grin and proudly displaying his t-shirt that says "FaggotWear Inc." The 'Cool' is crossed out.
Seth Lerch: Shut the hell up and let me speak.
More, deep, loud boos.
Seth Lerch: For those of you who honestly thought Torture would return to Thirteen and cut this grumpy old man promo where he, somehow, gets all of you on his side like he does with most of the boys in the back, then you're sadly mistaken. Buwaha!
Seth Lerch: That piece of shit is BANNED from Wrestling Championship Federation FOR LIFE!
Seth Lerch: Why are you booing? Torture tried to KILL WCF!
Nikki Venus: No he did not. Fans at home, do not listen to this. Tort fought for equal pay compensation and for more fair title opportunities for some of the guys in the back. He did not try to kill WCF.
Seth Lerch: I'll tell you what! Torture is a lying, has-been- Check that - he's a lying, NEVER WAS who was literally created BY ME and I used every ounce of his shit body to take WCF to higher levels, made a shit ton of a profit and you all cheer him because you think he's really that good, well guess what.. he's not! He wasn't ever good. I protected his ass! I was in complete control of his Championship runs whether it was his record-breaking Hardcore title run, or his three World Championships, ALL designed and steered by me!
Seth Lerch: I am the GOD of Torture's career and life and just like God himself, I giveth... and now I taketh away!
Crowd boos as Seth Lerch smiles but there is rumblings up in the upper balcony.
Nikki Venus: What is going on up there?
Joey Flash: I can't tell! I can't see up there! I'm not even paying attention to be honest.
Nikki Venus: OH MY GOD, ITS TORTURE!! HES REALLY HERE!
The camera turns and Torture is standing in the crowd, his black hooded sweatshirt covering his head, but the glares from the spotlight show his black eye still bruised and discolored. Seth flips his shit and demands security to protect him. The crowd is in FULL-FREAK-OUT-MODE and Torture can't be seen anymore.
Nikki Venus: Where the hell did he go!?
Joey Flash: Who cares!
Torture walks through the crowd who make a way for him and he jumps over the guard rail and NAILS the first security guard with a right hook on the chin! Two other guards slide out of the ring and Torture hits a clothesline to the first and hits a backfist to the second stumbling him back. The second guard now runs full speed but Torture side steps and throws the guy into the guard and they crash down to the mat. The fourth guard is a smaller guard and he jumps over the top rope but Torture catches him and throws him into the first guard! The crowd loses their shit some more!
Nikki Venus: One security officer stands between Torture getting his hands and revenge on Seth!
Joey Flash: Yawn.
Torture stands in the ring and slowly takes the hood off his head showing his stitch-line across the top of his head and his new haircut. (A shaved head) Torture looks vicious as fuck and the guard runs but Torture hits a stiff sidekick sending him down to the mat. Seth looks like he just shit his pants. Seth tries to back pedal but Torture inches closer and then a guard from the outside chop-blocks Torture from behind taking out his leg and Torture goes down in a hurry!
Nikki Venus: Oh god damn it!
Torture is in a tremendous amount of pain on the mat and as he tries to get up, the guard boots him across the face knocking him out face down on the mat. The crowd boos as Seth slow-claps Tortures huge return! A chair is slid into the ring and Seth picks it up and smashes it down on Tortures head and blood begins to pour out on to the ring. Seth demands the two guards who are now in the ring to stand him up. Torture is lifted off the mat and damn near lifeless. Seth stands behind him and grabs his head and bends him back..
Nikki Venus: No way!? The Tortures Device?!
Seth hits the Tortures Device on Torture and the crowd boos. Seth stands to his feet and kicks Torts body to his back and we now see Tort spitting up blood, his face covered in his own blood and he's out cold. Seth stands directly above his chest and smiles out at the crowd. There is no louder boos than right now. Seth looks down and mouths something and then without hesitation, Seth Lerch spits onto Tortures face and Master of Puppets hits and he walks out of the ring like some badass mother fucker.
Nikki Venus: So much for Torture's return.
Joey Flash: Is this segment over?
Nikki Venus: My god, what is wrong with you?
Joey Flash: Moving on, folks, let's get to some more action!
PURSE VS BLACK
Taylor Swift: This, ladies and gentlemen, is your main event of the evening, and it is scheduled for one fall! Entering first, from Venice Beach, California! He stands six feet, two inches, and weighs in tonight at two hundred and fifteen pounds. He’s a former two-time WCF World Champion, The Future, JEFF PURSE!
"Survival" by Eminem blares on the PA.
The crowd begins booing relentlessly.
"This is survival of the fittest! This is do or die! This is the winner takes it all!
So take it all!"
Pyro goes off and up through the stage in Rey Mysterio fashion, Jeff Purse walks out from the back and is showered with such a response that his music is drown out. Boos from every single person in attendance. Kari comes out from the back as well, she hugs Jeff and she disappears from where she came. Jeff stands there on the stage, pandering to the crowd.
"Wasn't ready to be no millionaire, I was ill-prepared! I was prepared to be ill though, the skill was there! From the beginning, it wasn't 'bout the ends!"
Jeff walks to the edge of the stage before entering the ring, he throws his hands up in the middle of the ring, takes off his aviator sunglasses and throws them in the audience. He turns and sits up on the turnbuckle, waiting for his opponent. Except, those sunglasses come flying back into the ring, much to the delight of those in attendance.
Joey Flash: Oh Jeff Purse you silly bastard, don't try to play nice with these people.
Nikki Venus: He should know better.
Jeff hops down, scoops up the glasses and hands them off to Taylor Swift - who then throws them back into the ring at Jeff. The crowd pops pretty hard for that one. Jeff just kicks the glasses to the floor.
Taylor Swift: And his opponent!
Taylor Swift: From MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA! Standing five feet, nine inches! Weighing two hundred and seventeen pounds! He’s a former SIX TIME WCF World Champion, reigning King of the Deathmatch, your 2016 WCF Wrestler of the Year – ladies and gentlemen – THE KING OF ALL WRESTLERS, COREY BLACK!
Lights in First Avenue dip to nothing, and the crowd goes absolute bonkers. Chants of “COREY BLACK!” and “THIRTEEN!” ring out at the same time. The video screen lights up, a white number one shown. Then two. Three. Four. All the way until it stops at twelve, the crowd counting along each time. A red XIII fades on, as the opening riff of “Friday the 13th” by Misfits plays throughout the arena. A hockey mask with Creeping Death face paint bleeds onto the screen as Corey Black walks out, wearing the mask and all black attire. The crowd is deafening at this point, Corey throws a fist in the air and they respond in kind. Corey steps into the ring, Jeff Purse steps right up face to face with him.
Joey Flash: Oh shiiiit main event time Nikki, what’s the tale of the tape?
Nikki Venus: Simple. These two guys should have gone one on one years ago, and we’re finally seeing it live, right here. It’s a dream match.
Joey Flash: Probably a nightmare for ol’ Jeffy here.
Johnny Reef splits the competitors apart. They back to their corners, Corey drops the mask down to Taylor Swift and locks eyes with Purse. Jeff doesn’t back down an inch as the bell rings, Jeff is the first to act. He walks out into the middle of the ring, among the overwhelming reaction of the crowd, and draws an imaginary line with his foot. Purse backs off and invites Corey to cross it. Leaning against the turnbuckles, Corey looks out into the crowd and smiles, before nonchalantly walking up to the line and GETTING KICKED RIGHT IN THE FACE!
Nikki Venus: What the hell was that?!
Joey Flash: Purse flew in and hit a spinning heel kick! Corey’s confidence bit him!
Jeff Purse is on the attack, he lays the boots into Corey as he attempts to shake off the effects of the kick. Corey crawls to a corner, and Jeff meets him there with a forearm shot to the side of the head. Purse grabs Corey by the legs, swings them over the middle rope and hits an enziguri to Corey in the corner! Jeff quickly stands up and pulls Corey off the middle rope with a neckbreaker!
Nikki Venus: Man, Corey didn’t expect this.
Joey Flash: Jeff said he had a game plan, dude wasn’t kidding.
Purse wastes precious time dragging Corey out into the middle of the ring before going for a pin, which Corey slips out of before even one. Without hesitation, Jeff wraps up Corey’s arm and looks for an arm bar submission! The crowd freaks out as Corey escapes by the skin of his teeth, looking to rebound. He’s finally created separation. Corey shakes the cobwebs in his head loose, and draws an imaginary line himself!
Joey Flash: Cross it Purse!
Jeff is no fool. Not only does he cross the line, he leaps over it and almost catches Corey Black again with a spinning heel kick! Instead, Corey dodges it, but Jeff lands on his feet like some kind of parkour master.
Nikki Venus: He just did a cartwheel without even touching the ground, good grief Jeff Purse is on his game tonight!
Jeff leaps off the middle rope and turns, looking for a clothesline but Corey instead punches Jeff right in the stomach. Purse lands bent over in pain, Corey picks a leg and hits the ropes. On the rebound, Purse rolls to his stomach and Corey leaps over. Another bounce off the ropes, Jeff stands up and leapfrogs the returning Corey. Jeff goes for The Spoke! But Corey hangs onto the ropes. Jeff rushes in and is back body dropped over the top rope, but lands on the apron. Corey lunges and is met with a forearm. Jeff with a head fake, causing Corey to get in position, and instead Purse comes through the top and middle rope with a spear! Corey catches him! DDT position, Jeff counters with a back body drop of his own, Corey front flips and lands on his feet! Superkick from Corey! Jeff gets the hands up but it was a fake anyway, Corey goes low and boots the shin dropping Jeff Purse to his knees! Corey off the ropes again and comes back with a knee strike that is ducked! Jeff hops to his feet and backflips into a waiting Corey Black who catches his opponent! Jeff tries to spin it around into a tornado DDT but instead, Corey dives forward launching Jeff Purse like a lawn dart into the middle turnbuckle! Purse lands hard and bounces off onto his feet, backward into a waiting GERMAN SUPLEX!
Nikki Venus: I have no idea what is going on!
Corey threw Jeff with such force that Jeff rolls backward again, all the way into a sitting position across the ring against the bottom turnbuckle. Corey runs in and flips forward into a cannonball! He hits Jeff hard, pressing him against the buckles as the crowd comes even more to life. Corey grabs Jeff’s ankles, going to life him off the mat. Purse grabs the top rope and Corey yanks Purse into a powerbomb, but Jeff reverses that into a huricanrana, sending Corey head over heels once again in the cannonball to the corner, this time hitting nothing but buckle!
Joey Flash: Veteran counter for counter wrestling going on Nikki, this is like porn to most watching.
Purse pulls Corey Black into a standing position against the corner once again, and lays into him with side kicks. He literally kicks Corey Black so hard so many times that Corey crumbles to the apron through the ropes. Corey goes to stand but Jeff baseball slides under the bottom rope, hooking one of Corey’s feet and pulling him to the floor but not before slamming his head on the apron on the way down. Jeff with a shoulder press to the gut and he rams Corey against the steel barricade. Purse spins Corey around and leaps off the barricade in a moonsault, this time actually connecting! The crowd boos as Purse takes complete control of the match.
Nikki Venus: These fans aren’t going to let up, it’s been a long night but this is their man. Their time. Jeff Purse may as well be a national enemy.
Ref Johnny Reef yells at the competitors to bring it back in the ring, but they do not. Instead, Purse peels Corey off the floor and launches him with all his might into the barricade once again. Corey hits back first and arches in agony. Jeff runs at him, leaps up to the apron, runs along it and comes flying off with a dropkick to Corey against the barricade! Corey flies over the wall and lands in the crowd! Jeff follows him and hits a few clubbing blows while the crowd expresses their disapproval. The men fight, more like Purse directs Corey toward the stage. Jeff lifts Corey onto the stage and hits a punch to the head. Jeff hops up too and drags Corey to the middle, where the ring is. Jeff whips Corey into the ropes and delivers a belly to belly suplex onto the stage!
Nikki Venus: Purse using this unique setup to his advantage here, with the entrance stage touching the ring, he could use the ropes outside it. Good strategy.
Corey is attempting to get to his feet but Jeff grabs him and throws him head first into the entry way! Corey bounces off it and Jeff does it again, this time making part of the entry collapse! Steel trusses fall from all angles, narrowly missing both men. Purse picks up a section of truss scaffolding and drops it across Corey’s back! The long square steel bars compact Corey, forcing him back to the ground. Jeff moves the object and pulls Black out of it, setting up a suplex! Corey reverses, putting his foot behind Jeff’s. Instead, Corey lifts Jeff up and his back gives, Jeff falls back down to the stage and uses the momentum to swing Corey over in a snap suplex across the steel barred truss!
Joey Flash: Jeez that was pretty brutal, I didn’t expect this at all.
Jeff drags Corey toward the ring again, and then into the middle of it as he goes for a pin!
No, Corey kicks out. Jeff is on the attack again though, as he actually gets the arm bar in this time. Corey quickly rolls to his side and locks his hands, then gets to his feet and stomps at the head of Jeff Purse. Eventually Jeff breaks the hold, rolls over and gets hit with a knee to the stomach, followed up by a leaping elbow strike to the back of his head as he is bent over! Jeff goes down hard, giving Corey Black time to recoup and rethink.
Nikki Venus: Finally Corey is able to assess the situation, Jeff’s onslaught to begin this contest was almost overwhelming.
Joey Flash: This is the King of All Wrestlers, Nikki, we watched this dude make Bates eat every single word he ever spoke. Even if Corey’s plans A through F may have been countered, he’s still got G through Z.
Purse is back to a standing base, Corey hits a kick to the left thigh. Then the right. Jeff blocks the third kick with his shin and Corey grabs it, before yanking Jeff over in a Dragon Screw legwhip! Corey keeps hold of the leg and turns it over into a single leg Boston Crab, sitting way back with it while the crowd cheers louder and louder! Referee Johnny Reef is checking on Purse, he’s not giving it up. Instead, Jeff uses his free leg against the back of Corey’s knee, and grabs around his foot with his hand, buckling the knee and allowing Jeff to escape and lock in a quick knee bar! Corey does what Corey does, stomps at Jeff’s hands to break the hold, but not enough. Jeff grabs the ankle and torques it in an Ankle Lock! Jeff stands up and bends Corey’s foot!
Joey Flash: I don’t know what the strategy is here but it sure isn’t working!
Corey up to a standing-ish base, rolling forward and sending Jeff over in a flip as well, breaking his grip. Corey checks the ankle, it’s okay, he runs full speed and puts his shoulder through Jeff Purse, hitting a Pounce type move into oblivion! Jeff flies into the ropes and bounces off them, hitting the mat hard!
Nikki Venus: Plan R, run through your opponent.
Corey isn’t fucking around anymore, he grabs Jeff Purse by the head and just punts him in the cheek! A vicious kick. Jeff crumbles down and ends up face down across the bottom rope. As he’s trying to regain his composure, Jeff gets up to the middle rope but Corey leaps over the top and curb stomps Jeff Purse onto the apron! A sickening thud echoes throughout First Avenue as the bloodthirsty crowd howls in approval! Jeff Purse is left draped over the middle rope, not moving!
Joey Flash: That one even hurt me! Goddamn.
Corey slides in feet first under the bottom rope and pulls Jeff into a rollup!
NO, Purse has the wherewithal to kick out. Corey rolls Jeff over into a sitting position and begins raining elbows!
Nikki Venus: For Victory or Death!
Shot after shot! Jeff Purse is slowly fading, enough that Ref Reef is in his face asking if he’s okay! The crowd is ballistic, Corey doesn’t let up! Jeff is fading! FADING!
Joey Flash: This is it!
Jeff Purse is… fighting back?! Through the elbows, Jeff is somehow looking around the arena. In a last ditch effort, Purse throws his head back and connects with a sort of headbutt to Corey Black’s sternum. This stops the elbows for long enough to escape. Jeff is on wobbly legs, but legs nevertheless. Corey’s dazed from the blow to the chest, and he walks right into THE SPOKE.
Joey Flash: FUCK HE HIT IT!
Corey hits the mat flat on his back. Jeff Purse crumbles into a pinfall.
COREY KICKS OUT. The breath in the venue was sucked out and explodes back in as the shoulder shot up from the mat! Jeff doesn’t have any idea what is happening, Corey Black even less. Jeff’s brain stops scrambling in his skull, he gets up and grabs Corey. Jeff sets it up, runs off the buckles and hits a Whisper in the Wind!
Nikki Venus: Oh no, Purse is breaking out his big guns! He just hit Taking Off the Training Wheels!
Jeff and Corey hit the mat hard, not quite the middle of the ring so there’s no pin attempt. Instead, Jeff goes to the top rope once again. He faces the crowd, flips them off and leaps back in a double rotation moonsault!
Joey Flash: THE ONE AND ONLY!
COREY BLACK GETS THE KNEES UP. Jeff hits and bounces off, onto his back. Somehow, someway, Corey Black is up to his feet and he scoops Jeff Purse off the canvas, hooking a DDT and front flipping with it, spiking Jeff on his head! Corey isn’t done, he runs to the ropes and leaps off the middle, 450 Splashing while flying backward!
Nikki Venus: This might be it!
Corey holds the pin, Reef with the count and the whole crowd too!
JEFF PURSE KICKS OUT. Corey does it again, he rolls Jeff to a sitting position but before the first elbow comes down, Jeff reaches back and rakes the eyes. Corey reels in agony, Jeff slowly gets up and pops Corey in the jaw with a forearm. Corey backs up to the ropes by the stage and falls out to it, but he stands quickly and Jeff runs at him, leaping over the ropes but dragging Corey over too and landing with a neckbreaker on the hard stage! They land with a splat as the crowd boos. Jeff is energized, he’s feeling that second wind. This is his moment. Corey has crawled back into the ring to try to get away from Purse, but Jeff’s not having it. Jeff literally leaps over the top rope, back into the ring, landing at Corey’s head. Corey looks up to Jeff Purse, and sneers.
Nikki Venus: This can’t be it..
Jeff slaps Corey Black right in the face as he is on his knees. Corey shakes it off and tells Jeff to do it again, which Purse doesn’t hesitate to do. This slap rocks Corey, but he’s getting up to his feet. A third slap spins Black around, Jeff Purse leaps up to his shoulders and pulls Corey over in a reverse hurricanrana spiking Corey’s dome into the mat!
Joey Flash: Armageddon!
Corey Black hit with such force that he sort of rolls back and to his feet, but Jeff Purse rushes in and superkicks his fucking head off!
Nikki Venus: The Spoke!
Corey lands flat in the middle of the ring. Jeff Purse feels it, the crowd is going nuts. They’re booing and throwing things at Jeff as he scales to the top rope. In a display of athleticism only seen a few times in life, Purse flies through the air with a picture perfect Frog Splash.
Joey Flash: THE. DEFLATOR. THIS IS IT!
Jeff Purse, with Corey Black in the middle of the ring, holds on to the splash with a pin.
The crowd is probably causing a scene so ridiculous that cops will soon be called.
All three announcers are on their feet, screaming at the events in the middle of the ring.
Nikki Venus: DID HE KICK OUT?!
Joey Flash: NO WAY!
Referee Reef stopped a millimeter from the mat, he saw Corey’s left shoulder raise just the slightest. Jeff Purse is dumbfounded. The crowd is near silent now, they cannot believe what they have seen. Jeff sits beside Corey, he looks down at his foe. And he flips him off. Jeff rolls out of the ring, dragging Corey along by the hair as Reef pleads with him not to.
Nikki Venus: What is this now?
Jeff Purse drags Corey over the railing and into the crowd, then to the back of First Avenue where the second floor stairs are. Step by step, Jeff drags Corey up and onto the balcony.
Joey Flash: They’ve got to be fifteen feet up Nikki, this happened with Orbit last show!
Jeff drags Corey along the balcony, bouncing his head off tables and the railing along the way. Fans scatter as Purse reaches the spot he wanted to go to. Directly above the ring. Jeff lines it up and scoops Corey in the air! The crowd buzzes, some screaming for Jeff to stop but he doesn’t. Jeff steps forward and gets to slam Corey over, but Corey slips out the back. He lands on his feet, and he catches Jeff Purse with a spinning back kick to the abdomen. Corey hops over the rail, hooks Jeff up in a suplex…
Nikki Venus: God no not again..
And Corey heaves Jeff Purse over the rail fifteen feet off the balcony and into the ring! Jeff hits the mat, and goes limp. A twisted body lay motionless in the ring below Corey Black, the crowd going fucking bonkers. Corey turns and looks down to the ring, microphones have been dropped at this point. Nikki and Joey have lost their headsets and they’re screaming. Corey measures and leaps, a senton unlike any other. Flying through the air in a flip, Corey crashes down onto Jeff Purse and drives what little air he had left out of his lungs.
The crowd is unglued, they’re begging Corey to crawl over and pin the broken man in the ring. He slowly does so. Scratching, clawing at the mat, he reaches Purse and lays an arm over his chest.
HIS FUCKING SHOULDER.
Every single person in the building places their hand over their mouth, even the ref. Nobody can believe what is happening in the ring before them. Jeff Purse, twitching, has kicked out and is actually crawling toward the ropes. Corey Black is sitting there, watching. He thought for sure he had killed Jeff Purse. Maybe that’s what it’ll take.
A few moments pass, the crowd stunned into silence. Our announcers haven’t picked their headsets up yet, they’re standing along with the crowd and just watching. Purse is amazingly back to his feet, and so is Corey Black. Corey’s looking way better though. He took a controlled fall, Jeff was thrown and landed on. Nevertheless, Jeff Purse and Corey Black lock eyes once again. Jeff stumbles forward, daring Corey to bring it. Corey’s body is near as mangled; he’s ginger but not destroyed. And so, Corey hauls off and clotheslines the fuck out of Jeff Purse. Jeff Purse stands up, not even fazed. Corey does it again. Slower this time, but Jeff Purse gets up and slaps the mat upon gaining balance.
Corey Black shakes his head and bounces off the ropes, coming back with a lariat unlike any other – because he didn’t reach the destination.
JEFF PURSE HIT THE SPOKE ONCE AGAIN.
Both men fall to the mat in sheer exhaustion. The crowd is going nuts once again. Corey is reaching for the roof while Jeff attempts to sit up. More than a few moments pass, allowing both guys to recover just enough. Corey crawls to the floor, he falls to the wood and lays there. Jeff Purse slides under the bottom rope on his side, slowly making his way around to Corey. As he turns the corner, though, Corey was waiting. An elbow strike dazes Jeff Purse, but the next move send blood flying everywhere.
The crowd groans in disgust as Jeff Purse’s forehead bleeds profusely. Corey Black stands by the ring after running a machete across Jeff’s head. Jeff can’t believe what this match has come to, but he’s not going to allow it. He grabs the nearest weapon which happens to be one of the trusses from the stage and hauls off with it. He cracks Corey in the ribs as Corey had the blade overhead. Corey drops his machete, and Jeff picks it up, slashing Corey in the chest with it, opening a wound. Corey howls in pain, Jeff throws the machete aside and rolls Corey back into the ring somehow, surely he can’t see beyond that crimson mask.
Back where this match began, the two bloodied men meet in the middle once again, Corey with a leaping knee strike to Jeff, which Jeff responds in kind using a roundhouse kick to the side of the head. Neither man will go down. Jeff staggers forward, grabbing Corey by the head and screaming in his face.
But he was ready for that.
COREY SPITS BLACK MIST INTO THE ALREADY BLOODY FACE OF JEFF PURSE!
Jeff is absolutely blinded now, Corey winds up and backhand slaps Jeff Purse into tomorrow! The Pimp Slap! Jeff is spun around three-sixty into a Cravate Cutter! The Downfall! Jeff lays prone on the mat, convulsing. Corey Black climbs to the top rope, barely able to stand, and he launches forward in a headbutt! Corey hits The Flyswatter on Jeff Purse! He covers!
NO FUCKING WAY, JEFF PURSE KICKED OUT.
Corey’s lost it, the crowd has lost it, it’s going to take everything to put Purse away. So Corey readies the final shot. He reaches to the floor, grabbing the machete. Jeff Purse puts his hand out, reaching for Corey, but Corey ignores him. Corey thrusts the blade into the mat, cutting the canvas and peeling it back. The padding is removes as well, half of the ring is now torn up and only wood planks remain.
Jeff Purse hasn’t moved, he is still reaching for Corey and it’s finally accepted. Corey Black grabs Jeff’s hand, and pulls him over the canvas and padding to the wood. Corey picks Jeff up off the mat, he’s not even able to stand. Up into the air and back down with a brainbuster, Jeff’s blood splatters across the wood of the ring. Corey holds on though, he rolls over and picks Jeff up once again, dropping Purse with another brainbuster. The crowd isn’t even really cheering anymore, they’re begging for this to end. Blood everywhere, coming from both men, and Corey holds on. Instead of a suplex, this time Corey lifts Jeff Purse onto his shoulders in a reverse Death Valley Driver.
Mercifully, Corey Black throws Jeff into the air and sits out, dropping him on the wooden planks with a Burning Hammer. Corey’s spent, but he manages to lean back and cover Jeff Purse.
Ref Reef calls for the bell, and this match is finally over. The crowd explodes once again into cheers, their man has run the gauntlet. A very game Jeff Purse walked into Minneapolis looking to beat the King, and it wasn’t enough.
Taylor Swift: The winner of this match, Corey Black!
No music plays, but Reef lifts Corey’s hand into the air. He’s not even able to get up. Taylor and Nikki ditch their positions and slide into the ring, checking on Corey. They pull Corey off Jeff as Kari comes down to check on him.
An unbelievable match to end an unbelievable night.
With nobody on the mic, XIII fades to black, both bloodied men being looked at by arriving doctors and the women in their life.