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Post by Kaz on May 10, 2015 17:05:20 GMT -5
Let me preface this thread with this - I am not looking for lip service.
I feel like my promos are getting stronger and stronger, but there's still something missing. It's something I'm not seeing through my own read throughs. It's like a piece of a puzzle that I can't seem to find, and I'm looking to any of you to tell me what it may be.
I'm counting on you guys! Don't pull any punches. I'm very receptive to constructive criticism so hook a guy up, ya feel?
Thanks in advance to anybody who wants to help me out!
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2015 17:23:28 GMT -5
After reading your last RP (which made my butthole pucker a bit, BTW...) I noticed a direction that you were going in your Character Development side that seems to conflict with the Imperium set-up. You may want to really explore that conflict, and see if your character really wants to be part of Imperium. I get that he's behind Bobby and Odin 100%, but that is merely a sum of the whole, and you may be put at a crossroads. You're coming up on some stuff in which you can go in a few different directions, without being mired by too many feuds (though potential feuds and matches are brewing...)
Kaz is at a great spot, both in character development and in the wrestling aspect. And your shoot has more of 'it', that thing I cannot describe, but it hits you sometimes. Don't know if you understand what I'm saying or not, but you've improved greatly with your shoot since the last time we faced each other.
My advice would be to find someone solid to work with (and will take the belt off of you if you get busy in life, rather than have you drop it like a knob, like I had to...) and put that title up, so you can further validate Kaz's US Title reign. And I know you've got plenty of suitors to work with right now (to include potential challengers from Imperium)...
Whatever Bobby and Odin are saying as far as how to shoot is concerned that you're paying heed to, its working. Keep listening to those guys. Your shoot has improved quite a bit since we last saw each other at the WCF Classic.
Otherwise, that's all the criticism and/or advice I can give you.
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Post by Kaz on May 10, 2015 17:53:26 GMT -5
Thanks Deuce!
I know I have a few options for feuds as far as the US Championship is concerned, just waiting to see how Trio's pans out before really setting up anything solid in that department.
On the CD side, I wasn't sure whether to jump head first into Kaz's confliction with being a part of Imperium right off the bat, or slow burn it over the next few weeks. But bringing that up definitely got a few ideas I hadn't thought about churning in the old noodle, so thanks again for that my man.
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Post by Natural ICE Beckman on May 10, 2015 23:04:04 GMT -5
I think you might have already dived head first into the whole conflict with Imperium when I saw this part of your RP, which btw I also thought was very interesting...
Buddy Roman frowned with a twinkle in his eye. His tongue clicked before asking “Why keep things from your father, Kazward? I only want what's BEST for YOU. How can I help you if I don't know you?”
“Can we drop the whole 'Father Son' bullshit? I mean, I know you're not my dad. I know who's balzac I came out of.”
However I think maybe you need to keep hinting at that possible story line and maybe even you need to not know where it is going, I think that will help you keep it interesting, for I know I do that sometimes, play around with a story before I always know how it ends.
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Post by Crow McMorris on May 11, 2015 4:18:05 GMT -5
Hey
Been looking back over your past promos; trying to pinpoint this elusive missing piece of the puzzle for ya. I think I've got some pointers you might want to consider.
1. What's Kaz's agenda? The number one criticism of Kaz is that he's just the foot soldier of the Poondocks. That comes about mainly because I feel we don't get a sense of what Kaz wants that's different from Bobby or Odin. He needs a goal that's unique to him and him alone. It shouldn't be about relationships, but rather ideology; some kind of take on things that is a different perspective to those that are around him. I think that's why this week struck a cord. Kaz is no Kaz Mazy-Roman. He's looking around and wondering what the fuck is going on. "We're doing this now, really?" Thats interesting to me, it reminds me of the movie, "Primary Colors", Kaz has always been the more moral of the Poondocks in the past. This week he kept that and it made the promo more real because of it. I believe in Kaz now more than say, Bobby or Odin. I don't get their whole 180 take on things. Siding with the kings, I don't buy it, but I get Kaz. So props there man.
2. Tropes. I know nothing of ZMAC's past. And yet I can perfectly picture him due to Odin's excellent characterization of the character. It's the little things that sometimes add up. Picture a male drifter walking along a lonely beach. Now, picture the same man with a harmonica he's learning to play...badly, whilst throwing a stick to a three legged dog. It's character and history meeting. Kaz needs something that he wears or carries or he's into that encompasses him. That defines him. Cohen Brothers used hats in Miller's crossing. ZMAC has his crack pipe. Bobby often mentions his mane and beard. ICE, Price, Richards use their drinking in various ways. So, what does Kaz have that makes him identifiable from a distance. That's what you need. If Kaz was walking over a hill, and he's standing next to a group, what sets him apart. How do I know that it's Kaz whose third from the right?
3. Supporting characters. I want to see kaz have his own universe; I like it when we get a perspective on a lead from a group of supporting characters. I like that whole rounded view on things. I think that Kaz as a character would benefit if he had some confidants that he can bounce ideas off, express his internal dilemmas with. ICE has a great supporting cast. He doesn't need the kings involved if he wants to express his thoughts and views though others. Thats a piece we're missing right now from Kaz.
Hope these little ideas help. If you could do the same for Crow; that would be greatly appreciated.
Conquer.The.Character.
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