Post by Zombie DankMorris on Sept 28, 2014 1:32:33 GMT -5
The Valdivia Compound, Hyde Park, Connecticut
The Shape hunches over a desk, far too bulbous to fit. The office had grown too small, or rather, The Shape, too big. Its fingers too fat, but that didn't stop it from typing at demon speed. The Op-Ed, to end all Op-Eds. WCF needs to hear this. WCF needs to see this. Damn grown men, gawn crazy. The whole Dub gone crazy, people thinking that they can step to The Vapor Kings. This is WAR. Where are Steven Orbit Roman and ICE Beckman Roman III? Bout to pick up a set of tag team titles formerly known as “ Patheticon” Pantheon for the uninitiated.
Sure, you may think it's easy to talk that smack but them bums went and shot themselves in the foot. Daniel Booker- we thank you. It shows you very transparently really how poor Pantheon's model choices are. Where is D. Book anywayz? Ain't nobody knows. He be suckin Kanye and Aqua Man's fish sticks- Maurice Zangles up in this bitch! Pimpin that Pantheon poon nation wide. First the Sea People- then mole people, then Fire Nation, then those slimely time lords.
Fuck a time lord, bitch- who you be? Daniel Booker. Fuckin Pantheon jobbing n00b bitch. Tried to replace Steven Orbit Roman the Fifteenth but ya don't come close. Tried to replace the blackest nigga with the whitest cracka they could find, wonder why they can't rise above tag title status (and even that's about to be lost to Orbit and ICE.)
This is WAR- This is the season fa' pleasin an ain't no one up in the Dub know how to please. VK takin them tag titles, ZMAC be up in the WAR match Itself! His message will be heard. It will be felt and Zombie McMorris will be the one thing no one thought he could.
World Motha Fuckin Champion.
Buddy- why don't you show the world what your fat sausage fingers been cookin up? Let's take a look.
Mr. Johnathan Fly,
Your Icarus wings will not serve you this time. What happened to you? You went out there and took a shit all over yourself. It's like a bear ripped you to pieces and as you lie dying on the ground, you just voided your bowels. Oh wait, a bear did just up and maul you. Last week. Last week, MY client, the leader of The Vapor Kings went and tore you a new Axe Wound. Share this experience with the world and may all who have ears, hear. It does not take a blind man to see the writing on the wall- all you have to do is pay attention. Pay attention and you will see the kind of power that MY client, The Evil Incarnate possesses. What man has whooped this once beloved champion so bad that his showing at WAR XIII is like an epileptic at a Pink Floyd laser show? It is far below my sub standards to reiterate the points that Johnathan has so clearly made. So please, if you will- go direct your attention to the latest works of Johnathan Fly and see for yourself what a sad state he is in.
“Dear WCF,” he says. ”Get well soon,” he says. No, no, Johnathan, It should be The Vapor Kings wishing you well because last week we did this to you! My client did this to you and now this week, at WAR- at:
“Hey, did you see WAR?”
“Well- what did you think of it?”
- “LOLWCF. It sucked.”
“What, you must be kidding me?”
- “Nah, shit stank like McShitz. Fuckin' Tort trying to come back. Thinkin' we'd bust that nut but only busted a gut LOL”
“Can't be that bad. I mean, Jonny Fly? #Fly_Wins_In_The_End”
- “LOL Fly choked on a dick the size of Montana and swallowed a load the size of Florida.“
And WHY?! Why, Johnathon, will people hear that about WAR? Why would people say that about you? Simply because it is true.
It's true and you know it's true, right down to that greasy, Jew heart of yours. I say heart because us Jews have no soul. It's all about dollars and cents and right now- your whole entire career makes no fucking sense! It's an enigma, a mystery. All wrapped up in a giant game of hide and go fuck yourself.
So Johnathan, WCF- Hide. Hide and go fuck yourselves! VK is here! VK is all up in everybody shit and we are just stomping away at each and every one of you. This is what LOLWCF has come to. The best thing you got is a defeated FORMER, insert accomplishments here.
TSK TSK TSK.
Mr. Fly is a prime example as to why you do not mess with The Vapor Kings or my client. And as my client told you the other week: THAT wasn't going to be your day. That wasn't going to be your night, your week and WAR was not going to be your crowning glory. It's going to be ours.
It's going to be The Evil Incarnate's.
It's going to be ZOMBIE MCMORRIS. WINNER OF WAR XIII
So to all you hopefuls, wannabes and Robert Cairos out there. Knives in the backs are for cowards. Knives to faces, all day long. 25/8 367. Two extra days of whoopin that ass.
Two extra days of curb stompin', cinder block droppin, and World Tour Smashin'!
If you think it's you against the Fed- well then I'm afraid I got some BAD NEWS! That's so disillusioned I can't even begin to tell you why. Perhaps because it's a free for all? Perhaps because, Johnathan, you're so self-centered with your past that you have to relive it? It's OK, I understand. You can go knit sweaters with all the old timers who feel it's “The World v. YOU.” It's not, no way. For it to be the world versus you, the world has to give a shit about you. They don't. We don't. No one cares about the guy who got mauled to death in the woods by a bear. Sure, there will be people in mourning but at the end of the day they'll shrug and say:
“Yah, bastard had it commin'.”
You all do.
We only use you now as a promotional piece. A testimonial. You are nothing more than a true to life, LIFETIME movie. Johnathan Fly being played by Meg Ryan. Funny because right now, I don't know which of you is coming to WAR. I hope it's Meg, I loved her in “You've Got Mail.”
~CLICK ~ ~ WHAM~ ~ SEND~
The Op-Ed has been posted to WCF.com's column page. A blog post of scathing truths has hit the Internet like Rice on wife. Goodell be scared. He be prayin'. He already saw the tape but he's going to wait- That Thickness gotta preach.
Conquer. The. Hate.