Post by "The Black Dragon" Alex Jones on May 16, 2014 8:39:09 GMT -5
My father made a deal with the Devil.
I don’t mean Satan, Lucifer, Beezlebub. Whatever the Christians call it. No. The Devil you all think of is a fallen angel who in reality was a spoilt child slapped by his father and punished for being a belligerent little shit. The Devil my father dealt with and in the end succumbed to, was himself.
The darkness that lives and breathes inside everyman.
The side of your conscience that separates good from bad. Moral from immoral. He made that decision to close his eyes and turn off any good that remained inside his poisoned soul. And in doing so, condemned my family to a lifetime of misery.
A lifetime of having no real emotion.
A lifetime of not know what love was.
A lifetime of darkness.
Not that fire and brimstone phony bullshit they teach you in that little book. I mean real darkness. My heart was never filled with anger or hate. It was filled with nothing. I had all emotions stripped from me. Love, compassion, happiness, hate, anger, sadness. I felt nothing, I knew nothing. To me right and wrong were just words…..
But apparently I don’t need to tell my story. Apparently some inept moron with imaginary friends who terrorized some woman with the same last name is me will tell it for me. Sorry junior you can’t retcon my story.
Come on…it’ll be a quick game…
Nero stirs in his sleep. His eyes dark under closed eyelids. His muscles twitch.
Ok but don’t go too far….
Nero’s face twitches, his body moves and his fists clench. Jade opens her eyes and puts her hand on Nero’s arm.
Aurora?...
AURORA?
“AURORA!”
Nero’s eyes spring open He sits up in a cold sweat, his hands move to his face as he runs them up over his head through his hair that is tied back. Nero disregards Jade and turns putting his feet on the floor.
“Who…who’s Aurora?....”
Nero’s teeth grind, his hands stay shut. He feels a rage build, his stomach boils over. His eyes slowly raise having gone from their normal light sparkling aqua to a deep blue. His veins pump with blood as a pain overcomes him. The anger, sadness and physical pain caused seem to spiral Nero into a type of madness.
“Nero?.....”
Jade lays her hand on his shoulder, and quick as a coiled snake Nero spins backhanding Jade across the face, he body flying sideways onto the mattress, a large bruise already forming on her cheek. Nero moves forward quickly, he grabs hold of Jade’s arm and raises his hand breathing deep, she coils in fear as Nero moves above her. He stops and shakes a little, a rope of spit dripping from his mouth. Jade whimpers and slides back as Nero drops to his knees.
“I-I’m sorry….”
Jade moves closer to Nero, her shaking hand reaching out to him. His pale skin covered in a cold sweat as the realization of what he’s done flashes over him. Nero closes his eyes as visions of his father hitting his mother flash in and out. And a voice that voice that is haunting him screams out.
YOU’RE JUST LIKE FATHER!
Jade’s hand touches him, Nero flinches and gets to his feet swallowing hard as he puts his palms flat on the wall followed by his forehead.
“Leave”
“Nero I-“
“LEAVE DAMN YOU”
His voice spits with an anger and venom Jade wasn’t expecting. The side of her face bright red. She picks up her clothes and heads for the door leaving Nero in his bedroom. His breathing starts to slow. His body returning to normal as the cold steel composure we’re used to starts to return. Nero pushes off the wall and stands straight, he turns and walks into his bathroom, the cold water from the tap coming to his face as he looks in the mirror. He looks away for a moment and when he looks back…a little blond girl about nine years old is in the mirror behind him.
Nero swallows deep and grits his teeth, his fingertips reach out to the mirror, his eyes seem to soften, a smile comes across his lips. The color turns back to normal as a tear wells up in one of his eyes, before it can fall Nero lashes out, his fist slamming against the mirror, he spins around to find no one there. He leans against the wall and slowly slides down to sit with his knees against his chest.
“….Aurora….I’m sorry….”
Aurora. My sweet little twin. Didn’t find out about her on your little trip did you?. I don’t know what kind of moronic bullshit you were pulling there Zombie boy. You asked if you had my attention? You do, but for all the wrong reasons. That little story, that little woman and family you visited?. Are you that stupid?.....
You want to rewrite who I am?
Son, do you even know who or what the fuck you are dealing with?.
You talk of evil as if it a tangible object. Do you even know what true darkness is?. It’s being numb. Being vacant and empty. The family you “visited” or “paid” whatever, that family home, the loving siblings and father and mother with abandonment issues. That my friend is a happy little holiday I would love to accept as my past. As my family.
You want to know?...
You want to see?
YOU WANT TO KNOW?
You lean towards evil and want to believe in it with your little mind games and want to live in your fantasy world where you can make up pasts for your opponents because you in reality know nothing about them?. Fine, go do that.
In fact, go make up a backstory for John Gable where he was a male stripper, held down and raped by fat woman at a bachelorette party and then he decided he was going to become a pro wrestler to get rid of the soul crushing memories in his head. There you go…I just thought up your next “piece”…..
I expect royalties bitch….
But my family?...my story?....my father?.....hah…..I wish it was a happy little fantasy…
He couldn't see. The sense was taken away by what felt like a cloth. His hands were bound behind his back. He struggled. Harder and harder he pulled and pushed trying to loosen them. His ears pricked up, he could hear dripping. Water somewhere close. He was so thirsty, his tongue was dry and he could feel the effects on his strength. Footsteps. They broke the silence and the steady dripping of the water. Creaking and metal clanging and then a familiar voice.
"You thought I'd forgotten didn't you?...."
"F-Father?"
Clap!. Everything went fuzzy. The side of his face hurt as what felt like a baseball bat hit him. Then the cloth covering his eyes became wet with blood. His hands still bound behind him. His father knelt down beside him, the smell of bourbon on his breathe. Anger in his voice. He felt his fathers hands around his neck, he squeezed and squeezed. The choking, struggling to breathe, to swallow...to live.
"YOU ARE ALL I HAVE LEFT NOW. YOUR MOTHER IS GONE, YOUR BROTHER IS GONE...AND YOUR SISTER....YOUR SISTER...IT'S YOUR FAULT....YOUR FAULT......YOUR FAULT NERO!"
Nero struggled. Big and strong for a teenager but he was no match or the large man his father was. Nero knew his eyes were open and he could only see black, but then a deeper darkness overcame him.
I'm dying.....
Thoughts ran through his head. He could see them. His mother, his sister. They were waiting for him with open arms. The light and happiness. Yes he was going to feel happy again. He was to be free from this life.
Mother.....Aurora......Aurora I'm sorry....
Splash.
Water hit Nero's body. Icy water sending shock waves through his body. Nero sat up, his long blonde hair drenched. His hands no longer bound. He looked up to see his father standing above him holding a bucket. A wry smile on his aged face.
"Awake from your nap boy?"
Nero was 16, tall, about 6'1 and almost a man. His body was strong and developed. His eyes trailed around the family barn. Rusty farm equipment sits around against the wall. Nero looks his father in the eyes and gets to his feet and pushes past the old man to do his chores around the property. He bursts out into the warm summer sun, standing in a pair of old acid washed jeans, his hair slightly red with stains of blood.
Nero grabbed a shirt hung on an old wooden post and went about his work. Moving hay bales, feeding animals and moving logs. Nero stops and leans against the barn opening a bottle of water chugging it down, sweat pouring from his body. He takes a deep breath and feels a pair of eyes on him, he turns to see their neighbours teenage daughter Sarah. She was tall, blonde and beautiful, the same age as Nero. Their eyes met and Nero smiled.
As they walked together there was an awkward silence. Their eyes would catch one another staring and both of them would blush. They stopped near the lake that ran near both their families properties. Nero sat down and smiles warmly at Sarah, she sat down and their hands touched, Nero’s hand moves away but Sarah just slid her hand over his. Their eyes locked and Nero leant in kissing her lips.
After they were done, they just laid together on the grass. Their fingers intertwined, both of them smiling wide with Sarah’s head on Nero’s chest.
“Nero….do you ever just want to get away?”
Nero smirked and laughed to himself holding Sarah closer.
“You trying to tell me to go?”
“NO!..no that’s not what I meant….”
Nero laughs and kisses Sarah’s forehead.
“I know what you mean and yeah…..believe me I do….I hate it here….”
As Nero starts to think about his life and the past a sadness washes over him, Sarah leans in and kisses him.
“We’ll leave together….in a few months…my daddy gets paid his big fee’s for the grain…we can take it and be gone….”
Nero laughs and sits up leaning on one arm staring down at Sarah.
“You’re serious aren’t you?....”
She nods and smiles slowly reaching up to lightly brush Nero’s hair away, his teenage face not that much different from the grown man we have come to know. But it seems filled with feeling and hope for the future. A stark contrast to the hard, unfeeling Nero in the modern world.
“I’ll follow you anywhere Sarah…..”
My father, if you can call him that. Blamed me for the death of my twin sister. She disappeared in the woods behind out house. We were playing hide and go seek. And as the sun set I realized I couldn’t find her.
It was my fault
Or so I thought
My father robbed me of my emotions. But it wasn’t at that moment with the first love I had.
No….it was when she was ripped from me….
The phone rang. It seemed like a normal day. Nero was not allowed to answer the phone, his father walked over and stared at Nero who was eating his breakfast quietly.
“Hello?...yes…oh…yes well that’s a shame, of course we’ll attend…thank you and my condolences…”
Nero’s eyes darted to his father, his demeanor hadn’t changed. His father came and sat down across from him.
“That was Pastor Nick, the Doyle’s oldest Sarah got into a car accident yesterday morning….they would like us to help with the funeral.”
Silence, Nero knew his father wanted the usual obedient answer of “yes father”. But he couldn’t say it. The words seemed to get caught in his throat. His hands started shaking, he swallowed hard as he held back tears.
“It’s a shame to….seems she was a few weeks pregnant…..”
Nero’s heart stops. His eyes start to unfocus, his hands go numb. He can feel the pain well up in his stomach, he looks at his father and walks past moving into the bathroom. His father looks confused as Nero closes the door. His heart beats faster and harder. His hands grip the towel rack screwed to the door, his breathing becomes labored.
In one swift motion Nero lets out a loud grunt and pulls the towel rack off the door, he breaks it over his knee and throws it on the ground. Nero drops to his knee’s as tears well up in his eyes. He feels them roll down his cheeks and drip to the floor beneath him. His hands drop to the concrete as his nails drag down and chip. Slowly his hands go from open to closed fists, he looks up, his eyes staring through the curtain of hair, a light aqua of calm darkens to almost jet black. Nero gets to his feet, he pushes the emotions down into the pit of his stomach, the anger, the hatred, the sadness the depression. He remembers his fathers words…
Emotion is a weakness….
His fists stay balled up, his arms ripple with muscle as blood pumps through his veins to match his elevated heart rate. After a while it’s all gone. Even as images of himself and Sarah flash through his mind, the thoughts of her being pregnant with his child, even at such a young age. He pushes it all away and just becomes, blank. An unfeeling shell. He turns and opens the door stepping out into the kitchen. His father looks him up and down and smiles, then into his youngest son’s eyes.
“You’re finally a man…..”
Then I was numb. I felt nothing. I knew nothing. I was a blank canvas. A physical specimen and a tool, a vessel for him to pour his knowledge. He saw me as the next step in what he tried to do with my brother. But it didn’t work. I walked….
I left him, alone, old, broken. Because I finally saw him for what he was. A tired broken down old man who had nothing left to teach me. I drifted in my life until I met my beautiful wife Alice.
Then I knew what it was like to be a father. To be human, to regain that missing piece that was taken from me.
But with that being said….
You two need to realize something.
Vapour kings…..ha…queens would be more apt. Cause all I’ve seen is you two being little bitches. Running around spinning your fabricated bullshit. I may be a happy man right now, a beautiful wife, a beautiful daughter.,,,,,
But inside…..
Inside I can still be nothing…I can still become what my father wanted me to be. Because of Alice….
She holds the key.
She is what makes me what I am.
And you two will bow down to me….and know what real fear is…