Franky Battles The Pink Robots (ACT 1)
Jun 8, 2013 23:33:43 GMT -5
Logan, The Polar Phantasm, and 3 more like this
Post by FPV on Jun 8, 2013 23:33:43 GMT -5
FRANKY BATTLES THE PINK ROBOTS
(PART ONE)
Sweet fucking tits off a baby camel, you just joined us at the most opportune moment. You are about to witness the final battle of the evil Pink Robots, and the end of their reign of terror. For too long, these mechanical beasts have laid waist to the city of New Philadelphia, and the citizens, led by Jonathen Fly and Jason Pride have finally had enough. The usually peaceful residents have taken up arms and have led a massive assault upon the Pink Robots. And at the forefront of all this utter nonsense is FPV, still somewhat confused as to what the hell is going on, grabbing a cybernetic sword and leading his own little battalion of soldiers. But just how the fuck did he get here?
Let's find out.
We start this story out in a familiar setting: the ToT Nightclub. Or at least, what remains of it. For as long as most people care to remember, the nightclub has been in a constant state of disuse, for multiple reasons. For one, it's name is increasingly becoming a humongous misnomer, as the ToT have been disbanded for MONTHS now. Second, Da Funk seems to have disappeared without a trace, and no one has been able to trace him down. When the main DJ at your club suddenly pulls a Richey Edwards, that's usually not a good sign. Third? Them drinks were getting too pricey, man.
The one part of the club still in regular use is the inner sanctum, which has kept it's status of the official mysterious hideout of FPV. There, he talks business with Genesis, watch enemy promos and formulate responses to them, and most importantly...play Minecraft. But anywho, on this day FPV is kicking back and listening to a recent purchase of his. "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots" by The Flaming Lips. One of the best albums of the 2000s, in both Franky and I's humble opinion. He's all nice and chill in his seat, an ice cold Coke by his side...yep, this scene should be just perfect...
...except it isn't. Because deep down, for reasons unknown to him, Frank's just got a really bad vibe. Like this album is trying to send him a message of some sort. He starts to believe it's giving him a warning of what's to come. Although in all honesty, it's probably just sleep deprivation nagging him again.
As FPV leaves the front door of the club, he notices something peculiar in the parking lot. That something has the appearance of a old-school British police box...but in reality, it is the Time and Interdiminsional Travel Station, time machine to none other than time traveler extraordinaire Tyler Chrono. Not that Franky knows this, but he soon does, because upon inspection of the inside of the box, he finds a sleeping Chrono all nestled up next to his control panel, sleeping like a baby.
FPV remembers this guy. This guy beat him up and then tried to blame it on either time travel, destiny or both. He had thought it was just bullcorn, but now...now he has the opportunity to find out for sure. rummaging through his pocket, he pulls out his phone and calls up probably his one sane homie right now...Steve Orbit. And surprisingly, he answers.
Orbit: Ah...dude! what the hell bruh, it's like 11 o clock at night, da fuck you callin' me for?
FPV: Dude, Orbit, just follow me here. You remember that Chrono guy I was talkin bout?
Orbit: The dude who said he travels through time?
FPV: Yeah, that guy. Right now I have the chance to see if this guy is for real. Should I take the chance?
Orbit: fuck man, go for it, I don't give a shit, I just need some fuckin sleep. You go ahead and go fight dinosaurs or something, just don't call me back.
Click. Orbit hangs up. Maybe calling him this late at night was a bad idea.
But that's beside the point. FPV has decided to follow Steve's rather sleepy advice and use the machine. But havin' this Chrono dude tagging along? Not an option. He sees if moving him a little will wake him by carefully picking him up out of his office chair and getting him out the TITS. Thankfully, the guy is apparently the heaviest sleeper known to man, and stays fast asleep as you close the door to the TITS.
Inside, FPV sees a variety of buttons on control panel in front of him, not knowing how a single one works. But that's not a problem, he'll just take the normal route and just press a bunch at random and see what happens. He slams his hands down on the panel as if striking a chord on a piano, as the female voice says through the computer as two buttons begin flashing green and red colors.
Voice: Are you sure you would like to travel to...NEW PHILADELPHIA?
New Philadelphia? Frank doesn't know what exactly New Philadelphia entales, but he's game. He presses down the green flashing button. In the span of about 4 minutes, he's gone.
(PART TWO)
Our next scene takes us to the opposite end of those 4 minutes, with FPV contemplating every type of situation he could have just sent himself into. Post-apocalypse? Orwellian dystopia? The Neo-Ice Age? So many questions, and now...it's time he found the answers.
Slowly, somewhat purposefully ramping up his internal tension, FPV opens the door to the outside, and peeks out like mankin leaving the caves and walking into the sunlight for the first time. And what he finds...it's...it's
It's BEAUTIFUL.
From what he can gather from the perch of the TITs, it appears that FPV is looking on over the beautiful city...New Philadelpia, I guess. This was definitely not what he had expected. No, this is ten times better! Maybe Tyler had been here in the past and had pissed in these guys Cheerios...so to speak...and maybe he and them could crack a Monster and talk about how much of a douche Tyler is.
From the sounds of footsteps he heard behind him, it didn't appear that meeting these people would take very long.
He fully got out of the TITs to meet this person...whoever they may be, only to be completely surprised to find...of all people in the world...Jonny Fly! He was wearing a white robe you'd expect to see on a priest, and he held out this white staff looking thingy too, but that sure enough was Jonny allright. FPV's attempt to make himself look cool in front of these people was immediately thrown out the window.
FPV: Jonny?!
The face of Jonny immediately changed to express confusion akin to that of being called "Barbra" by a drunk man. Which is to say...he wasn't really confused at all.
Jonny?: I do believe you have me mistaken.
FPV: Well apparently I fuckin' do, there ain't no way the Jonny I know would be THAT polite!
Jonny?: Well, you're close. My name is Johnathan Fly, and you are...?
FPV: Frank. Frank Venable.
Johnathan: Nice to meet you Frank. I suppose you aren't from this dimension.
FPV: No...actually, I have no idea WHERE exactly I am, all I know is that it's way prettier than the place I live.
A warm smile stretched across Johnathan's face.
Johnathan: Why thank you! Do you know exactly which universe you're from?
FPV: Waitaminute...this isn't like, the future? You mean to tell me that I might be in a whole nother universe?!
Johnathan: Pretty much.
FPV: Well damn. I mean, we never really gave our universe a name...we just kinda just call it "the universe."
Johnathan: Hmmm...interesting.
FPV: Really?
Johnathan: Yes. I've never seen a universe where it's denizens are so blunt about their name.
FPV: We're blunt about a lot of things.
Johnathan: I see. Well, would you like me to give you the tour of the city? I'd figure it'll give us time to compare our universal abodes.
FPV: You mean...
FPV makes a sweeping motion with his arms over the city skyline.
FPV: ...this whole city right here?
Johnathan: Shouldn't take us but five or so minutes.
FPV: And how do you figure that?
Johnathan: Like this...
With a quick snap of his fingers, both Johnathan and FPV are transported faster than the speed of light to the first part of the tour.
(PART THREE)
The first stop on the tour appears to be a communal area, similar in layout to a park. As FPV and Johnathan appear in the center of it, they see many people pass by, all dressed like Johnathan in their white robes. All races seem to be a part of the community. White, black, latino, asian, you name it's there. FPV is stunned at the sheer size of the area.
FPV: Damn, this is a big park.
Johnathan: Park?
FPV: You don't know what a park is?
Johnathan: Not in the way you're using it, no.
FPV: It's what we call an area like this where I come from. People have picnics, play some football, do some exercising, that kind of stuff.
Johnathan: Football...is that like some sort of sporting event.
FPV: Yep, pretty much the biggest one where I came from other than soccer.
Johnathan: We actually have soccer over here! The sport where you kick a ball into a goal post?
FPV: Yeah, that's the same one we have back home!
Johnathan: Yeah, games can get pretty intense, but it's always in good fun. C'mon, I'll show you around.
As FPV and Johnathan begin their trip, they pass by a multitude of familiar faces to WCF fans, each one with a slightly different feature to them than their "home" version.
FPV: So...no pun intended...is there any universal deal with how each universe acts. I mean, are there any things that are always the same in every universe?
Johnathan: Yes, actually. Through our years of research, we discovered that the starting point for each universe is the same. Dinosaurs rule the earth, cavemen begin to evolve. But then something will happen, it could be extremely minor or it could be major, but some event takes place around the year 0 AD, that sets that particular universe apart from the others. We call this year "The Split."
FPV: Does time pass the same way for each universe?
Johnathan: Yes. If you are in 2013 in on universe, if you go to another it will also be 2013. Time is universal.
FPV: All this use of the word universal is starting to get to me.
Jonathan: It always does to new people.
FPV: I bet.
Johnathan: So what happened in your split?
FPV: Hmmm...do you have Jesus Christ in this universe?
Johnathan: Yes, as a matter of fact we do!
FPV: Yeah...we kinda...killed him...
If Johnathan had any kind of drink in his mouth, this would be the part where he does a spit take. He is visibly shocked by this announcement?
Johnathan: You KILLED him?! WHY!?
FPV: Bunch of religious bullshit. I don't want to talk about it.
Johnathan: Oh jeez. That's awful.
FPV: Why, does he exist here too?
Johnathan: Yes. In fact he's still alive today.
And now it would be FPV's turn for the spit take.
FPV: HOW!?
Johnathan: Let's just say we have the technology.
FPV: Well shit, can I see him.
Johnathan: That's not really a good idea. He's been at the brink of death for years now, yet the religious folk here refuse to let him die. He can't even talk at all anymore. That's where I come in.
Fly holds out his white staff and shows it to FPV.
Johnathan: I am considered Christ's "mouthpiece" so to speak. If anyone wants to communicate with him, they come to me, I connect with him, and the two parties communicate using me as a proxy.
FPV: Wow...
Johnathan: It's an honest day's work. I'll show you where I work now.
Another snap of the fingers, and FPV and Johnathan are transported to...an office building? Yep, it appears to just be a regular old office building, and except for all the white robes everyone's wearing, it would fit in nicely with FPV's home universe. He himself it quite puzzled by this.
FPV: This is where you work?
Johnathan: Yes sir, this is how I make my living day in and day out.
FPV: That's weird...I would expect a religious man to work at like a church or temple or something.
Johnathan: This IS my temple.
FPV: It is?
Fly nods his head in confirmation. FPV isn't even going to bother asking why. He quickly notices a nice looking female at a desk typing on a futuristic looking computer. He goes to Fly and points her out.
FPV: And who is that fine lady over there?
Johnathan: That would be my secretary, Scarlet Lerch.
...
............
Really?
Fucking REALLY?!
Scarlet FUCKING Lerch?!
Such a ludicrous idea can only merit this response from FPV.
FPV: Wow. Even in an alternate universe, Seth is still Jonny's fucking secretary. That's sad.
Johnathan: I don't know what's so sad about it.
FPV: Trust me, if you knew where I was coming from, you'd know.
Johnathan: How is your universe's version of me? Is he like me in any way?
FPV: In a word, no. In a couple of words, hell no.
Johnathan: I'll travel to your universe one day and meet this fellow. Me and him might just have more in ocmmon then you'd imagine.
FPV: Pfft, fat chance.
As FPV and Fly begin walking down the hall, FPV inquires to Fly about various things. One of them being this...
FPV: So if this a temple...then how do marriages work out?
Johnathan: Well...how does it work where you come from?
FPV: Generally, a man and a woman go to a church, the priest says some stuff, they put rings on, they kiss, there's dancing and cake then they go on a trip.
Johnathan: That's it?
FPV: Yeah. I mean, how else would it work?
Johnathan: Follow me and I'll show you.
Johnathan leads FPV down the hallway into a darkened room. In front of them is a glass wall, where on the other side are two people waiting beside a huge machine. Both stand in front of individual chambers, where in the middle the machine connects to both through a series of tubes, and in front of them machine stands another chamber, also connected to it from a tube.
Johnathan: Just in time, looks like we got us a couple right here!
Johnathan reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small microphone, speaking to the couple on the other side.
Johnathan: And who is this lucky couple I am speaking to?
With a smile on both of their faces, the two reply.
Man: Scott Thomas.
Woman: Amori Wilson.
Johnathan: Good to meet the both of you. Now, are you ready to enter the Marriage machine and spend the rest of your lives together?
Amori/Scott: YES!
Johnathan: Then by the power invested in me, I now give you permission to enter the chambers.
Giddy with excitement, the two enter their respective chambers as Johnathan directs the crew working the machine.
Johnathan: Commence the marriage...NOW!
The crew flips a couple of switches and pull down a lever. Soon, both of the chambers begin to fill with fog, and soon both Scott and Amori are no longer visible. Soon the fog begins to go through the tubes and into the machine, where after five minutes the fog begins to enter through the third chamber in the middle. The machine then speaks.
Marriage Machine: I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU...AMORI THOMAS!
The fog begins to clear from the chamber as the doors are opened. Out of the chamber steps out the apparent fusion of Amori and Scott, a female with long brown hair and a fairly nice, sweet complexion.
Johnathan: How do you feel, Amori?
Amori: I feel WONDERFUL! I'm gonna go get a couple of drinks in celebration! Wanna join in?
Johnathan: Sorry, can't make it. Showing a man from another universe around the place.
Amori: Okay, that's cool too! See you later preacher man.
Amori walks out of the room through a door on the side. Fly just sighs in happiness.
Johnathan: Ah, true love...wouldn't you agree.
Fly turns to FPV to check on him. His face has pretty much become frozen in the 0_0 emoticon.
FPV: This is the most preposterous poppycock I have ever witnessed in my life.
Johnathan: That's life in New Philadelphia for ya.
FPV: It's actually kind of funny...the Amory Tom I know in my universe is a total alcoholic loser.
Jonathan: Alcoholic?
FPV: It's a condition where you become incredibly addicted to booze. It's hell on the liver, and it can kill you if you're not careful. Quite frankly, with all the drinking Amory does I'm surprised he hasn't died of total alcohol poisoning yet. But he should. He doesn't contribute anything worthwhile to the company I work for, and he just out and out is just a total mood killer. Dude could probably walk into a party and shut it down real quick-a-like.
Johnathan: What kind of work do you do?
FPV: I'm what you call a "professional wrestler."
Johnathan: Professional wrestler? Interesting...please enlighten me as we continue.
And another snap of the fingers, and the two are gone.
(NEXT TIME...ON FRANKY BATTLES THE PINK ROBOTS!)
FPV: Who the fuck is Alvin Envious?!
FIN.
(PART ONE)
Sweet fucking tits off a baby camel, you just joined us at the most opportune moment. You are about to witness the final battle of the evil Pink Robots, and the end of their reign of terror. For too long, these mechanical beasts have laid waist to the city of New Philadelphia, and the citizens, led by Jonathen Fly and Jason Pride have finally had enough. The usually peaceful residents have taken up arms and have led a massive assault upon the Pink Robots. And at the forefront of all this utter nonsense is FPV, still somewhat confused as to what the hell is going on, grabbing a cybernetic sword and leading his own little battalion of soldiers. But just how the fuck did he get here?
Let's find out.
We start this story out in a familiar setting: the ToT Nightclub. Or at least, what remains of it. For as long as most people care to remember, the nightclub has been in a constant state of disuse, for multiple reasons. For one, it's name is increasingly becoming a humongous misnomer, as the ToT have been disbanded for MONTHS now. Second, Da Funk seems to have disappeared without a trace, and no one has been able to trace him down. When the main DJ at your club suddenly pulls a Richey Edwards, that's usually not a good sign. Third? Them drinks were getting too pricey, man.
The one part of the club still in regular use is the inner sanctum, which has kept it's status of the official mysterious hideout of FPV. There, he talks business with Genesis, watch enemy promos and formulate responses to them, and most importantly...play Minecraft. But anywho, on this day FPV is kicking back and listening to a recent purchase of his. "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots" by The Flaming Lips. One of the best albums of the 2000s, in both Franky and I's humble opinion. He's all nice and chill in his seat, an ice cold Coke by his side...yep, this scene should be just perfect...
...except it isn't. Because deep down, for reasons unknown to him, Frank's just got a really bad vibe. Like this album is trying to send him a message of some sort. He starts to believe it's giving him a warning of what's to come. Although in all honesty, it's probably just sleep deprivation nagging him again.
As FPV leaves the front door of the club, he notices something peculiar in the parking lot. That something has the appearance of a old-school British police box...but in reality, it is the Time and Interdiminsional Travel Station, time machine to none other than time traveler extraordinaire Tyler Chrono. Not that Franky knows this, but he soon does, because upon inspection of the inside of the box, he finds a sleeping Chrono all nestled up next to his control panel, sleeping like a baby.
FPV remembers this guy. This guy beat him up and then tried to blame it on either time travel, destiny or both. He had thought it was just bullcorn, but now...now he has the opportunity to find out for sure. rummaging through his pocket, he pulls out his phone and calls up probably his one sane homie right now...Steve Orbit. And surprisingly, he answers.
Orbit: Ah...dude! what the hell bruh, it's like 11 o clock at night, da fuck you callin' me for?
FPV: Dude, Orbit, just follow me here. You remember that Chrono guy I was talkin bout?
Orbit: The dude who said he travels through time?
FPV: Yeah, that guy. Right now I have the chance to see if this guy is for real. Should I take the chance?
Orbit: fuck man, go for it, I don't give a shit, I just need some fuckin sleep. You go ahead and go fight dinosaurs or something, just don't call me back.
Click. Orbit hangs up. Maybe calling him this late at night was a bad idea.
But that's beside the point. FPV has decided to follow Steve's rather sleepy advice and use the machine. But havin' this Chrono dude tagging along? Not an option. He sees if moving him a little will wake him by carefully picking him up out of his office chair and getting him out the TITS. Thankfully, the guy is apparently the heaviest sleeper known to man, and stays fast asleep as you close the door to the TITS.
Inside, FPV sees a variety of buttons on control panel in front of him, not knowing how a single one works. But that's not a problem, he'll just take the normal route and just press a bunch at random and see what happens. He slams his hands down on the panel as if striking a chord on a piano, as the female voice says through the computer as two buttons begin flashing green and red colors.
Voice: Are you sure you would like to travel to...NEW PHILADELPHIA?
New Philadelphia? Frank doesn't know what exactly New Philadelphia entales, but he's game. He presses down the green flashing button. In the span of about 4 minutes, he's gone.
(PART TWO)
Our next scene takes us to the opposite end of those 4 minutes, with FPV contemplating every type of situation he could have just sent himself into. Post-apocalypse? Orwellian dystopia? The Neo-Ice Age? So many questions, and now...it's time he found the answers.
Slowly, somewhat purposefully ramping up his internal tension, FPV opens the door to the outside, and peeks out like mankin leaving the caves and walking into the sunlight for the first time. And what he finds...it's...it's
It's BEAUTIFUL.
From what he can gather from the perch of the TITs, it appears that FPV is looking on over the beautiful city...New Philadelpia, I guess. This was definitely not what he had expected. No, this is ten times better! Maybe Tyler had been here in the past and had pissed in these guys Cheerios...so to speak...and maybe he and them could crack a Monster and talk about how much of a douche Tyler is.
From the sounds of footsteps he heard behind him, it didn't appear that meeting these people would take very long.
He fully got out of the TITs to meet this person...whoever they may be, only to be completely surprised to find...of all people in the world...Jonny Fly! He was wearing a white robe you'd expect to see on a priest, and he held out this white staff looking thingy too, but that sure enough was Jonny allright. FPV's attempt to make himself look cool in front of these people was immediately thrown out the window.
FPV: Jonny?!
The face of Jonny immediately changed to express confusion akin to that of being called "Barbra" by a drunk man. Which is to say...he wasn't really confused at all.
Jonny?: I do believe you have me mistaken.
FPV: Well apparently I fuckin' do, there ain't no way the Jonny I know would be THAT polite!
Jonny?: Well, you're close. My name is Johnathan Fly, and you are...?
FPV: Frank. Frank Venable.
Johnathan: Nice to meet you Frank. I suppose you aren't from this dimension.
FPV: No...actually, I have no idea WHERE exactly I am, all I know is that it's way prettier than the place I live.
A warm smile stretched across Johnathan's face.
Johnathan: Why thank you! Do you know exactly which universe you're from?
FPV: Waitaminute...this isn't like, the future? You mean to tell me that I might be in a whole nother universe?!
Johnathan: Pretty much.
FPV: Well damn. I mean, we never really gave our universe a name...we just kinda just call it "the universe."
Johnathan: Hmmm...interesting.
FPV: Really?
Johnathan: Yes. I've never seen a universe where it's denizens are so blunt about their name.
FPV: We're blunt about a lot of things.
Johnathan: I see. Well, would you like me to give you the tour of the city? I'd figure it'll give us time to compare our universal abodes.
FPV: You mean...
FPV makes a sweeping motion with his arms over the city skyline.
FPV: ...this whole city right here?
Johnathan: Shouldn't take us but five or so minutes.
FPV: And how do you figure that?
Johnathan: Like this...
With a quick snap of his fingers, both Johnathan and FPV are transported faster than the speed of light to the first part of the tour.
(PART THREE)
The first stop on the tour appears to be a communal area, similar in layout to a park. As FPV and Johnathan appear in the center of it, they see many people pass by, all dressed like Johnathan in their white robes. All races seem to be a part of the community. White, black, latino, asian, you name it's there. FPV is stunned at the sheer size of the area.
FPV: Damn, this is a big park.
Johnathan: Park?
FPV: You don't know what a park is?
Johnathan: Not in the way you're using it, no.
FPV: It's what we call an area like this where I come from. People have picnics, play some football, do some exercising, that kind of stuff.
Johnathan: Football...is that like some sort of sporting event.
FPV: Yep, pretty much the biggest one where I came from other than soccer.
Johnathan: We actually have soccer over here! The sport where you kick a ball into a goal post?
FPV: Yeah, that's the same one we have back home!
Johnathan: Yeah, games can get pretty intense, but it's always in good fun. C'mon, I'll show you around.
As FPV and Johnathan begin their trip, they pass by a multitude of familiar faces to WCF fans, each one with a slightly different feature to them than their "home" version.
FPV: So...no pun intended...is there any universal deal with how each universe acts. I mean, are there any things that are always the same in every universe?
Johnathan: Yes, actually. Through our years of research, we discovered that the starting point for each universe is the same. Dinosaurs rule the earth, cavemen begin to evolve. But then something will happen, it could be extremely minor or it could be major, but some event takes place around the year 0 AD, that sets that particular universe apart from the others. We call this year "The Split."
FPV: Does time pass the same way for each universe?
Johnathan: Yes. If you are in 2013 in on universe, if you go to another it will also be 2013. Time is universal.
FPV: All this use of the word universal is starting to get to me.
Jonathan: It always does to new people.
FPV: I bet.
Johnathan: So what happened in your split?
FPV: Hmmm...do you have Jesus Christ in this universe?
Johnathan: Yes, as a matter of fact we do!
FPV: Yeah...we kinda...killed him...
If Johnathan had any kind of drink in his mouth, this would be the part where he does a spit take. He is visibly shocked by this announcement?
Johnathan: You KILLED him?! WHY!?
FPV: Bunch of religious bullshit. I don't want to talk about it.
Johnathan: Oh jeez. That's awful.
FPV: Why, does he exist here too?
Johnathan: Yes. In fact he's still alive today.
And now it would be FPV's turn for the spit take.
FPV: HOW!?
Johnathan: Let's just say we have the technology.
FPV: Well shit, can I see him.
Johnathan: That's not really a good idea. He's been at the brink of death for years now, yet the religious folk here refuse to let him die. He can't even talk at all anymore. That's where I come in.
Fly holds out his white staff and shows it to FPV.
Johnathan: I am considered Christ's "mouthpiece" so to speak. If anyone wants to communicate with him, they come to me, I connect with him, and the two parties communicate using me as a proxy.
FPV: Wow...
Johnathan: It's an honest day's work. I'll show you where I work now.
Another snap of the fingers, and FPV and Johnathan are transported to...an office building? Yep, it appears to just be a regular old office building, and except for all the white robes everyone's wearing, it would fit in nicely with FPV's home universe. He himself it quite puzzled by this.
FPV: This is where you work?
Johnathan: Yes sir, this is how I make my living day in and day out.
FPV: That's weird...I would expect a religious man to work at like a church or temple or something.
Johnathan: This IS my temple.
FPV: It is?
Fly nods his head in confirmation. FPV isn't even going to bother asking why. He quickly notices a nice looking female at a desk typing on a futuristic looking computer. He goes to Fly and points her out.
FPV: And who is that fine lady over there?
Johnathan: That would be my secretary, Scarlet Lerch.
...
............
Really?
Fucking REALLY?!
Scarlet FUCKING Lerch?!
Such a ludicrous idea can only merit this response from FPV.
FPV: Wow. Even in an alternate universe, Seth is still Jonny's fucking secretary. That's sad.
Johnathan: I don't know what's so sad about it.
FPV: Trust me, if you knew where I was coming from, you'd know.
Johnathan: How is your universe's version of me? Is he like me in any way?
FPV: In a word, no. In a couple of words, hell no.
Johnathan: I'll travel to your universe one day and meet this fellow. Me and him might just have more in ocmmon then you'd imagine.
FPV: Pfft, fat chance.
As FPV and Fly begin walking down the hall, FPV inquires to Fly about various things. One of them being this...
FPV: So if this a temple...then how do marriages work out?
Johnathan: Well...how does it work where you come from?
FPV: Generally, a man and a woman go to a church, the priest says some stuff, they put rings on, they kiss, there's dancing and cake then they go on a trip.
Johnathan: That's it?
FPV: Yeah. I mean, how else would it work?
Johnathan: Follow me and I'll show you.
Johnathan leads FPV down the hallway into a darkened room. In front of them is a glass wall, where on the other side are two people waiting beside a huge machine. Both stand in front of individual chambers, where in the middle the machine connects to both through a series of tubes, and in front of them machine stands another chamber, also connected to it from a tube.
Johnathan: Just in time, looks like we got us a couple right here!
Johnathan reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small microphone, speaking to the couple on the other side.
Johnathan: And who is this lucky couple I am speaking to?
With a smile on both of their faces, the two reply.
Man: Scott Thomas.
Woman: Amori Wilson.
Johnathan: Good to meet the both of you. Now, are you ready to enter the Marriage machine and spend the rest of your lives together?
Amori/Scott: YES!
Johnathan: Then by the power invested in me, I now give you permission to enter the chambers.
Giddy with excitement, the two enter their respective chambers as Johnathan directs the crew working the machine.
Johnathan: Commence the marriage...NOW!
The crew flips a couple of switches and pull down a lever. Soon, both of the chambers begin to fill with fog, and soon both Scott and Amori are no longer visible. Soon the fog begins to go through the tubes and into the machine, where after five minutes the fog begins to enter through the third chamber in the middle. The machine then speaks.
Marriage Machine: I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU...AMORI THOMAS!
The fog begins to clear from the chamber as the doors are opened. Out of the chamber steps out the apparent fusion of Amori and Scott, a female with long brown hair and a fairly nice, sweet complexion.
Johnathan: How do you feel, Amori?
Amori: I feel WONDERFUL! I'm gonna go get a couple of drinks in celebration! Wanna join in?
Johnathan: Sorry, can't make it. Showing a man from another universe around the place.
Amori: Okay, that's cool too! See you later preacher man.
Amori walks out of the room through a door on the side. Fly just sighs in happiness.
Johnathan: Ah, true love...wouldn't you agree.
Fly turns to FPV to check on him. His face has pretty much become frozen in the 0_0 emoticon.
FPV: This is the most preposterous poppycock I have ever witnessed in my life.
Johnathan: That's life in New Philadelphia for ya.
FPV: It's actually kind of funny...the Amory Tom I know in my universe is a total alcoholic loser.
Jonathan: Alcoholic?
FPV: It's a condition where you become incredibly addicted to booze. It's hell on the liver, and it can kill you if you're not careful. Quite frankly, with all the drinking Amory does I'm surprised he hasn't died of total alcohol poisoning yet. But he should. He doesn't contribute anything worthwhile to the company I work for, and he just out and out is just a total mood killer. Dude could probably walk into a party and shut it down real quick-a-like.
Johnathan: What kind of work do you do?
FPV: I'm what you call a "professional wrestler."
Johnathan: Professional wrestler? Interesting...please enlighten me as we continue.
And another snap of the fingers, and the two are gone.
(NEXT TIME...ON FRANKY BATTLES THE PINK ROBOTS!)
FPV: Who the fuck is Alvin Envious?!
FIN.