Post by Steve Orbit on May 18, 2013 13:15:20 GMT -5
[Scene opens on Sunset Boulevard, Los Angeles. Some chicken and waffle place. "The Mack" Steve Orbit sits with his... still-not-official-girlfriend, Havana Ginger. They're sitting across from each other in a booth with food all over the place. Orbit wolfs down a stack of waffles, before wiping his mouth. Havana has a leg bone in her mouth, chomping on it. I guess Orbit's blackness is rubbing off on her. Sexy.]
Havana Ginger: You still ain't told me why you came to LA in such a hurry.
Steve Orbit: I told you, I been missin' you like crazy. You been out here all week, I just couldn't wait to see you.
[Havana rolls her eyes.]
Steve Orbit: Oh! Oh yeah, there is this other thing.
Havana Ginger: Here we go. Let's hear it.
Steve Orbit: Aight... now, what I'm about to tell you-- you gotta promise you ain't gonna get mad.
Havana Ginger: I can't promise that.
Steve Orbit: At least promise me you ain't gonna try to stab me with a peice of that mother fuckin' silverware.
[Havana laughs.]
Havana Ginger: Just tell me.
Steve Orbit: Ok. Aight. Check it out. You remember last year, when I met you at the fuckin' porno convention, I told you I was in a competition?
Havana Ginger: Yeah, with Jonny Fly. You won a hundred grand, of course I remember.
Steve Orbit: Well, Fly called me up, and I went out to his place in NYC--
Havana Ginger: What? And y'all didn't kill each other?
Steve Orbit: I know, I was shocked too, but check it out. He wants to do it again.
Havana Ginger: How the fuck is he gonna round up more girls than you, and you got access to the entire mother fuckin' adult film industry.
Steve Orbit: Nah, it's different this time. It's got a twist this time.
Havana Ginger: What's the twist?
Steve Orbit: It's whoever can get to this one chick first.
[Havana stops chewing on the bone, and puts it in her plate. She looks a little pissed off.]
Havana Ginger: Who's the bitch?
Steve Orbit: It's uh...
[Orbit puts his coffee cup up to his mouth, and mumbles the answer.]
Steve Orbit: Sarah Twilight.
Havana Ginger: WHAT?
Steve Orbit: It's Sarah Twilight. Whoever fuck her first, wins.
[Havana starts laughing.]
Havana Ginger: That fuckin' stuck-up ho? Y'all trippin'. Can't neither one of y'all get anywhere near that.
Steve Orbit: What?! 'Vana, you know who you talkin' to? Do you even realize who you sittin' across the table from right now?! I am Steve Orbit, the most marvelous and magnificent mother fuckin' pimp--
Havana Ginger: Nigga, I know who you are, and it don't matter. Sarah Twilight's pussy is off limits to you. That pussy is locked up, clamped down, the key is at the bottom of a fuckin' lake somewhere. You can tell by the way she carry herself. You'd be better off tryin' to fuck Michelle Obama.
Steve Orbit: So you don't think I can do it, that right?
Havana Ginger: ... Nah. But go 'head, nigga, slang yo dick. Go 'head and make some money with that thang. You know I ain't no hater.
[Orbit laughs.]
Steve Orbit: I was hoping you'd say that.
[They take a few moments to eat some more food, before continuing the conversation.]
Havana Ginger: So what's the prize?
Steve Orbit: Five hundred bands.
[Havana slams her hand on the table.]
Havana Ginger: Half a mil?! What you sittin' here for, nigga? Go get that!
[Orbit starts laughing.]
Steve Orbit: I'ma get it, too. You'll see.
[Havana starts shoo'ing Orbit off.]
Havana Ginger: Go! Go get it before Fly. Hurry. Make that fuckin' money.
[Orbit gets up from the booth, reaching into his pocket and quickly dropping some money on the table to cover the cost of the meal.]
Steve Orbit: Aight, I'ma see you later.
Havana Ginger: Good luck.
[Havana laughs to herself as Orbit literally runs out of the restaurant. Fade out.
Fade in. Orbit is in the back seat of a taxi, cruising through Los Angeles. He takes out his cellphone and places a call.]
Steve Orbit: Franky! What's up, man? ... I'm cool, homie, everything's cool. Hey, have you seen Sarah? You know where she's at? ... Nah, it ain't nothin' like that, man. Actually, I wanna make shit right with her. I wanna fix this. ... Yeah, I'm serious! I had a change of heart. I'm turnin' over a new leaf, I'm a brand new pimp. ... Yeah, so where's she at? ... Come on, Franky, don't front on me like that. ... Don't lie to me, Franky. ... You sure? ... Aight, well if you hear from her, don't tell her I'm lookin' for her, just find out where she's at and get back at me. ... No, I just wanna, you know, surprise her and shit. I'ma bring her flowers and shit. ... Yeah, aight. Peace.
[Orbit ends the call. He continues jiggling through his phone, before making another call.]
Steve Orbit: ... Come on, Sarah. ...
[Sarah doesn't answer. We assume Orbit is leaving a voicemail.]
Steve Orbit: Uh, hey, Sarah, it's Steve. Look, we need to talk. I feel real fucked up about all this shit, everything that's been goin' on, and I'm sorry. I'm sooooo sorry. I just really think we need to sit down and talk, you know what I'm sayin'? Just me and you. I was thinkin' me and you, maybe we get in my private jet and fly out to some lil' island or somethin', you know what I'm sayin', somewhere tropical, and just chill out for a night. Get some wine, you know what I'm sayin', just kick it and relax. Get close to each other and really get to know each other better. So check it out, why don't you give me a call back, and we'll do this, aight? Peace.
[Orbit ends the call. Suddenly, he jumps, as if he forgot something. He dials the number again... moments pass, and we hear him leaving another voicemail.]
Steve Orbit: Sarah, I forgot one thing. You in danger, girl. You in serious mother fuckin' life or death danger. It's Jonny Fly. He's lost his damn mind. I overheard some shit... Corey, you know, my homeboy Corey Black, he told me the deal. Fly's lookin' for you. He's gonna try to drug you and have sex with you. And the real deep, fucked up shit is, Jonny Fly has AIDS. He's got the virus, baby. So I'm sayin', WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH JONNY FLY. Ya heard? Aight. Call me back and let's get together.
[Orbit ends the call again... a few moments pass. This time, it's Orbit's phone ringing. He mouths "YES!", thinking it might be Sarah, but when he looks at the phone, his face falls. He answers the call.]
Steve Orbit: Hello Sethcretary.
Sethcretary: Hey Orbit, how you doing?
Steve Orbit: Fine, kinda busy-- what you want, man?
Sethcretary: Oh, you know, just wanted to REALLY wish you LUCK this Sunday. Genesis teaming with Pantheon, Pantheon teaming with Genesis, it's BRILLIANT. You guys don't stand a chance. WCF will be mine again in no time. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
[Orbit takes the phone away from his ear as Sethcretary lets out the most evil laugh he can muster.]
Steve Orbit: Yeah, whatever man. Look, I don't think this match is really gonna mean shit, Genesis is still gon' be Genesis, and Pantheon is still gon' be Pantheon--
Sethcretary: STOP TALKING!!!
Steve Orbit: You need to relax, homie. And I'ma talk to Fly about your booking priviledges, man, you losin' your God damn mind.
Sethcretary: Haha, like Jonny Fly would ever listen to YOU.
[Orbit is about to hang up on Sethcretary, but...]
Steve Orbit: Yeah, you probably right, man-- hey, do you know where Fly is at, by the way?
Sethcretary: Actually, I just heard he's flying back to New York to go to the David Letterman show. I'm not a big Letterman fan, personally. More of a Conan O'--
[Orbit hangs up. He turns his attention to the cabbie.]
Steve Orbit: Hey homeboy, you watch David Letterman?
Cabbie: Sure, sure. Watch it every night.
Steve Orbit: Who's the guest tonight?
Cabbie: Sarah Twilight from WCF. And someone else, I can't remember. Who cares anyway? I'm definitely watching for Sarah, though. Woooo! She's a looker, y'know?
Steve Orbit: Yeah... say man, my plans just changed. Take me to Van Nuys.
[The cab driver does a u-turn in the middle of the street with people honking at him. He flips them off as Orbit laughs. Fade out.
The next scene, we see the taxi drop Orbit off in front of his private jet at Van Nuys Airport. Rushing, Orbit gets on his plane, and the last thing we see is the Gulfstream jet taking off, heading back to New York. Will he be able to find Sarah Twilight before Jonny Fly? And even if he does find her, will he be able to seal the deal with her? Or is Havana right, and Sarah Twilight ain't fuckin' nobody? Except maybe Jeff Purse? We need answers. Stay tuned for THE FINALE of the Pimping Competition, Part II - Sarah Twilight Edition.]
Havana Ginger: You still ain't told me why you came to LA in such a hurry.
Steve Orbit: I told you, I been missin' you like crazy. You been out here all week, I just couldn't wait to see you.
[Havana rolls her eyes.]
Steve Orbit: Oh! Oh yeah, there is this other thing.
Havana Ginger: Here we go. Let's hear it.
Steve Orbit: Aight... now, what I'm about to tell you-- you gotta promise you ain't gonna get mad.
Havana Ginger: I can't promise that.
Steve Orbit: At least promise me you ain't gonna try to stab me with a peice of that mother fuckin' silverware.
[Havana laughs.]
Havana Ginger: Just tell me.
Steve Orbit: Ok. Aight. Check it out. You remember last year, when I met you at the fuckin' porno convention, I told you I was in a competition?
Havana Ginger: Yeah, with Jonny Fly. You won a hundred grand, of course I remember.
Steve Orbit: Well, Fly called me up, and I went out to his place in NYC--
Havana Ginger: What? And y'all didn't kill each other?
Steve Orbit: I know, I was shocked too, but check it out. He wants to do it again.
Havana Ginger: How the fuck is he gonna round up more girls than you, and you got access to the entire mother fuckin' adult film industry.
Steve Orbit: Nah, it's different this time. It's got a twist this time.
Havana Ginger: What's the twist?
Steve Orbit: It's whoever can get to this one chick first.
[Havana stops chewing on the bone, and puts it in her plate. She looks a little pissed off.]
Havana Ginger: Who's the bitch?
Steve Orbit: It's uh...
[Orbit puts his coffee cup up to his mouth, and mumbles the answer.]
Steve Orbit: Sarah Twilight.
Havana Ginger: WHAT?
Steve Orbit: It's Sarah Twilight. Whoever fuck her first, wins.
[Havana starts laughing.]
Havana Ginger: That fuckin' stuck-up ho? Y'all trippin'. Can't neither one of y'all get anywhere near that.
Steve Orbit: What?! 'Vana, you know who you talkin' to? Do you even realize who you sittin' across the table from right now?! I am Steve Orbit, the most marvelous and magnificent mother fuckin' pimp--
Havana Ginger: Nigga, I know who you are, and it don't matter. Sarah Twilight's pussy is off limits to you. That pussy is locked up, clamped down, the key is at the bottom of a fuckin' lake somewhere. You can tell by the way she carry herself. You'd be better off tryin' to fuck Michelle Obama.
Steve Orbit: So you don't think I can do it, that right?
Havana Ginger: ... Nah. But go 'head, nigga, slang yo dick. Go 'head and make some money with that thang. You know I ain't no hater.
[Orbit laughs.]
Steve Orbit: I was hoping you'd say that.
[They take a few moments to eat some more food, before continuing the conversation.]
Havana Ginger: So what's the prize?
Steve Orbit: Five hundred bands.
[Havana slams her hand on the table.]
Havana Ginger: Half a mil?! What you sittin' here for, nigga? Go get that!
[Orbit starts laughing.]
Steve Orbit: I'ma get it, too. You'll see.
[Havana starts shoo'ing Orbit off.]
Havana Ginger: Go! Go get it before Fly. Hurry. Make that fuckin' money.
[Orbit gets up from the booth, reaching into his pocket and quickly dropping some money on the table to cover the cost of the meal.]
Steve Orbit: Aight, I'ma see you later.
Havana Ginger: Good luck.
[Havana laughs to herself as Orbit literally runs out of the restaurant. Fade out.
Fade in. Orbit is in the back seat of a taxi, cruising through Los Angeles. He takes out his cellphone and places a call.]
Steve Orbit: Franky! What's up, man? ... I'm cool, homie, everything's cool. Hey, have you seen Sarah? You know where she's at? ... Nah, it ain't nothin' like that, man. Actually, I wanna make shit right with her. I wanna fix this. ... Yeah, I'm serious! I had a change of heart. I'm turnin' over a new leaf, I'm a brand new pimp. ... Yeah, so where's she at? ... Come on, Franky, don't front on me like that. ... Don't lie to me, Franky. ... You sure? ... Aight, well if you hear from her, don't tell her I'm lookin' for her, just find out where she's at and get back at me. ... No, I just wanna, you know, surprise her and shit. I'ma bring her flowers and shit. ... Yeah, aight. Peace.
[Orbit ends the call. He continues jiggling through his phone, before making another call.]
Steve Orbit: ... Come on, Sarah. ...
[Sarah doesn't answer. We assume Orbit is leaving a voicemail.]
Steve Orbit: Uh, hey, Sarah, it's Steve. Look, we need to talk. I feel real fucked up about all this shit, everything that's been goin' on, and I'm sorry. I'm sooooo sorry. I just really think we need to sit down and talk, you know what I'm sayin'? Just me and you. I was thinkin' me and you, maybe we get in my private jet and fly out to some lil' island or somethin', you know what I'm sayin', somewhere tropical, and just chill out for a night. Get some wine, you know what I'm sayin', just kick it and relax. Get close to each other and really get to know each other better. So check it out, why don't you give me a call back, and we'll do this, aight? Peace.
[Orbit ends the call. Suddenly, he jumps, as if he forgot something. He dials the number again... moments pass, and we hear him leaving another voicemail.]
Steve Orbit: Sarah, I forgot one thing. You in danger, girl. You in serious mother fuckin' life or death danger. It's Jonny Fly. He's lost his damn mind. I overheard some shit... Corey, you know, my homeboy Corey Black, he told me the deal. Fly's lookin' for you. He's gonna try to drug you and have sex with you. And the real deep, fucked up shit is, Jonny Fly has AIDS. He's got the virus, baby. So I'm sayin', WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH JONNY FLY. Ya heard? Aight. Call me back and let's get together.
[Orbit ends the call again... a few moments pass. This time, it's Orbit's phone ringing. He mouths "YES!", thinking it might be Sarah, but when he looks at the phone, his face falls. He answers the call.]
Steve Orbit: Hello Sethcretary.
Sethcretary: Hey Orbit, how you doing?
Steve Orbit: Fine, kinda busy-- what you want, man?
Sethcretary: Oh, you know, just wanted to REALLY wish you LUCK this Sunday. Genesis teaming with Pantheon, Pantheon teaming with Genesis, it's BRILLIANT. You guys don't stand a chance. WCF will be mine again in no time. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
[Orbit takes the phone away from his ear as Sethcretary lets out the most evil laugh he can muster.]
Steve Orbit: Yeah, whatever man. Look, I don't think this match is really gonna mean shit, Genesis is still gon' be Genesis, and Pantheon is still gon' be Pantheon--
Sethcretary: STOP TALKING!!!
Steve Orbit: You need to relax, homie. And I'ma talk to Fly about your booking priviledges, man, you losin' your God damn mind.
Sethcretary: Haha, like Jonny Fly would ever listen to YOU.
[Orbit is about to hang up on Sethcretary, but...]
Steve Orbit: Yeah, you probably right, man-- hey, do you know where Fly is at, by the way?
Sethcretary: Actually, I just heard he's flying back to New York to go to the David Letterman show. I'm not a big Letterman fan, personally. More of a Conan O'--
[Orbit hangs up. He turns his attention to the cabbie.]
Steve Orbit: Hey homeboy, you watch David Letterman?
Cabbie: Sure, sure. Watch it every night.
Steve Orbit: Who's the guest tonight?
Cabbie: Sarah Twilight from WCF. And someone else, I can't remember. Who cares anyway? I'm definitely watching for Sarah, though. Woooo! She's a looker, y'know?
Steve Orbit: Yeah... say man, my plans just changed. Take me to Van Nuys.
[The cab driver does a u-turn in the middle of the street with people honking at him. He flips them off as Orbit laughs. Fade out.
The next scene, we see the taxi drop Orbit off in front of his private jet at Van Nuys Airport. Rushing, Orbit gets on his plane, and the last thing we see is the Gulfstream jet taking off, heading back to New York. Will he be able to find Sarah Twilight before Jonny Fly? And even if he does find her, will he be able to seal the deal with her? Or is Havana right, and Sarah Twilight ain't fuckin' nobody? Except maybe Jeff Purse? We need answers. Stay tuned for THE FINALE of the Pimping Competition, Part II - Sarah Twilight Edition.]
