Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2012 21:22:05 GMT -5
Scoutmaster Interrupted (Part Two)
Camp Slane’s location in the middle of Lakawanna State Park made accessing the internet impossible. For Scoutmaster, the former Virtual Ambassador of the Wrestling Championship Federation, this was a hardship. It meant whenever he needed to go online a trip several miles towards civilization was required. Usually he would seek out a rest area or diner that advertised free wireless internet service and stop there to post his musings. He was at one of the latter currently: sitting in a booth, sipping a glass of water with lime, flipping open his laptop and punching in the information that would log him in to the company website.
Except he couldn’t. After typing his username and password Stuart was taken to a screen that carried the following message:
This user’s account has been suspended for violating WCF.com’s Terms of Service. Please contact Site Administration for further details.
There was an email address available but Stuart had no interest in using that. To get answers he planned on going straight to the top.
*****
Lisl Anne, the Vice President of Digital Media Content for the Wrestling Championship Federation, lifted her office phone from its receiver and spoke.
Lisl: Good morning, Stuart.
Scoutmaster: Good morning. I see you’ve been busy silencing my voice of dissent.
Lisl: Yes. We suspended your posting privileges on the website this morning. We also closed your Twitter account.
Scoutmaster: I was unaware of the latter. Thank you for informing me.
Lisl: You’re welcome.
Scoutmaster: You realize, of course, the public will not stand for such censorship. You cannot deny them the chance to read the truth.
Lisl: Stuart, when it’s my job on the line, I can and I will.
Scoutmaster: Ha! As if you are in any danger of losing your position now that the company has been bought out by your fellow travelling co-conspirator Jonny Fly.
Lisl: Oh, please. Jonny isn’t behind this. Don’t be ridiculous.
Scoutmaster: Of course he is responsible for my banning. He, you, and the other twelve members of your power mad cabal.
Lisl: Our legal department recommended closing your accounts, and Seth agreed. Everyone is worried that Eric Price is going to make good on his threat to sue you for libel. If WCF continues to provide you a platform to spout your crazy conspiracy theories, we could be declared liable and expose ourselves to a lawsuit.
Scoutmaster: A likely story.
Lisl: It’s the truth and you know it. The boogeyman you created to explain your failures and psyche yourself up for matches has turned into something real, and now it’s coming back to bite you in the ass.
Scoutmaster: The Gang of Fourteen exists. I do not need to imagine enemies.
Lisl: That’s right you don’t. Next Slam you have two very real ones in FPV and Steve Orbit. It would be smart to focus on them, because if you don’t either one can easily take you down.
Scoutmaster: I’m not afraid of either Mister Orbit or Mister Venable.
Lisl: Good. You can be sure they feel the same way about you. And they’re motivated. Frank’s got to be steamed about losing the People’s Title to Tek, and Steve is going to want to do as much damage as possible to you before your match at “One” for the US Championship. Don’t forget, he still owes you a receipt for turning on him after your tag match against the Misfits.
Scoutmaster: Heh. That’s his own fault. If Steve Orbit didn’t want to get “Knotted Up”, he should not have pursued Miss Ophelia Pain so lasciviously.
Lisl: That’s not quite how I remember it, Stuart.
Scoutmaster: I’m not surprised that you would stick up for him, Miss Anne, but I am disappointed. You, of all people, should be apprehensive about Steve Orbit. He is a misogynistic thug that deserves nothing less than a scalp to sole flaying.
Lisl: The Mack may have his flaws, but he’s not even close to the biggest creeper in this company. Take the guy you’re tag teaming with, just for example.
Scoutmaster: Nathan Von Liebert? I agree. The man is depraved. Having to partner with him disgusts me. But this is another instance of the ends justifying the means. If I can use him to rescue the United States Championship from that back alley hustler, then I will.
Lisl: I don’t know about all that, Stuart, but I will admit the prospect of you becoming US Champ is intriguing. Part of me is even rooting for you to win, just to see what happens.
Scoutmaster: That just means there is hope for you yet… Lisl.
******
Days after the above transcribed phone conference, Scoutmaster reported to Reading to tape his promo. Despite the censoring, and the grim message in his forthcoming monologue, it is a surprisingly chipper Stuart Slane standing in front of the WCF studio cameras.
“It’s not the end of the world, but you can see it from here.”
This idiomatic expression was never more apropos Sunday night at WCF’s Pay Per View. Because it was there that the conspiracy I have been warning others about for months committed two audacious assaults against the sport of professional wrestling. This group, that I have been advised not to directly reference by the producers of this promotion, plotted to cheat me out of winning the Hardcore Title. Doubt my words? Watch my match against the Champion Roy Speede and… the other participant. That third man threw me from a height greater than two stories, no doubt in hopes of ending my career right then and there. He did this recklessly with no regard for himself and his well-being. Who knows what that faction I cannot name promised this zealot for his crazed suicide dive? My guess is seventy two ring rats and an Internet Title shot.
It is clear, Slaneiacs, that the cabal whose identity must be kept under wraps wanted me out of the way when they sprung their final surprise. One of the key leaders of this mystery group returned to the company! Worse, he told a thunderstruck audience of millions he had bought it from its owner, Mister Seth Lerch! This palace coup has shaken the Wrestling Championship Federation to its very core. If successful, it will lead to one monolithic entity assuming total dominance. The Apocalypse is coming, and there are only two people who can stop it. The aforementioned Mister Lerch, can beat back this challenge by defeating the putsch’s leader in a wrestling match. As esteemed as my employer is, I don’t put much faith in this happening. Jon- the unidentified quisling is going to slaughter him.
I believe Mister Lerch knows this. That is why he has chosen me as the Number One Contender for the United States Title. This belt is considered the second most important in the company, and a stepping stone to the World Heavyweight Championship, which is currently held by one of the conspirators. The current US Title holder is also part of this group.
Connect the dots, Slaneiacs.
Mister Lerch knows he is doomed to fail in his attempt to save the WCF, so he has hand-picked me to carry on his struggle after he is destroyed by these sinister forces. What an honor has been bestowed upon me! I am now shouldering the burden of protecting the legacy and future of the company. And what better place to do this at the most important event put on by the Wrestling Championship Federation: its end of the year marquee pay per view “One”.
I am not the kind to put much faith in astrology, but even I can see how the stars are aligning. My epic quest to rid the WCF of this many headed monster begins this Sunday at the Hartford Civic Center, and while it is just the first step, it will not be easy. I am facing two very highly decorated wrestlers in Frank Patrick Venable and the current US Champion. Between them, they have won every recognized title this federation has excluding the Internet Championship; but, if I may be blunt, that belt lost its significance once I stopped wearing it. Which is an excellent way to bring me to my next point.
Yes, Mister Venable and his tag team partner are esteemed. Yes, they headline Pay Per Views. Yes, they are seen as part of the “next wave” of main eventers, the brightest stars in the WCF Firmament. But that is only because neither man has yet to face me.
I am not impressed with the recent run of Frank Venable. His World Championship reign was a flop. He won the People’s Title because the previous champion all but laid down for him in the ring. The first stable FPV led, the Darkside of Treachery, became the punch line to a bad joke. The only success he has had recently was creating Genesis, a faction in which he is arguably the fifth best wrestler out of five. The man has been coasting on his initials for months, and if he tries to do this Sunday he will be slaughtered. As for his tag team partner, the man I will face at “One,” I will admit he is capable. But that’s as far as it goes. Trading wins with Odin Balfore isn’t going to impress anyone anymore.
This Sunday, these two are going to be facing men with abilities far superior to their own. My start in the WCF may have been rocky, but once I found my footing there is little that has stopped me. Discounting my anemic start, I have four times as many wins as losses in my career. Only two active WCF wrestlers have beaten me by pinfall. My reign as Internet Champion ended only because- well, we all know why at this point. I should not even have to say it. These are facts that can’t be argued, and they prove that I should be considered one of this company’s elite.
As for my partner in this upcoming match, Nathan Von Liebert may be a pipsqueak with standards so low he willingly volunteers to ally himself with (AUDIO EDIT), but none of that changes the fact he is a dangerous opponent in the ring. He complements my strength and mat skills with speed and striking ability, making us a team that can take on any other in the WCF. Fortunately for the current Tag Team Title holders that is not our plan. I do not like Mister Von Liebert. Nor do I respect him. But he is the perfect instrument to aid me in giving this company what it desperately needs: a United States Champion that represents the BEST of America. At Sunday Night Slam, FPV and his stable mate are overmatched. If they’re Genesis, the two of us are Revelations, and we will soon show them that their time in the spotlight is almost over.
Camp Slane’s location in the middle of Lakawanna State Park made accessing the internet impossible. For Scoutmaster, the former Virtual Ambassador of the Wrestling Championship Federation, this was a hardship. It meant whenever he needed to go online a trip several miles towards civilization was required. Usually he would seek out a rest area or diner that advertised free wireless internet service and stop there to post his musings. He was at one of the latter currently: sitting in a booth, sipping a glass of water with lime, flipping open his laptop and punching in the information that would log him in to the company website.
Except he couldn’t. After typing his username and password Stuart was taken to a screen that carried the following message:
This user’s account has been suspended for violating WCF.com’s Terms of Service. Please contact Site Administration for further details.
There was an email address available but Stuart had no interest in using that. To get answers he planned on going straight to the top.
*****
Lisl Anne, the Vice President of Digital Media Content for the Wrestling Championship Federation, lifted her office phone from its receiver and spoke.
Lisl: Good morning, Stuart.
Scoutmaster: Good morning. I see you’ve been busy silencing my voice of dissent.
Lisl: Yes. We suspended your posting privileges on the website this morning. We also closed your Twitter account.
Scoutmaster: I was unaware of the latter. Thank you for informing me.
Lisl: You’re welcome.
Scoutmaster: You realize, of course, the public will not stand for such censorship. You cannot deny them the chance to read the truth.
Lisl: Stuart, when it’s my job on the line, I can and I will.
Scoutmaster: Ha! As if you are in any danger of losing your position now that the company has been bought out by your fellow travelling co-conspirator Jonny Fly.
Lisl: Oh, please. Jonny isn’t behind this. Don’t be ridiculous.
Scoutmaster: Of course he is responsible for my banning. He, you, and the other twelve members of your power mad cabal.
Lisl: Our legal department recommended closing your accounts, and Seth agreed. Everyone is worried that Eric Price is going to make good on his threat to sue you for libel. If WCF continues to provide you a platform to spout your crazy conspiracy theories, we could be declared liable and expose ourselves to a lawsuit.
Scoutmaster: A likely story.
Lisl: It’s the truth and you know it. The boogeyman you created to explain your failures and psyche yourself up for matches has turned into something real, and now it’s coming back to bite you in the ass.
Scoutmaster: The Gang of Fourteen exists. I do not need to imagine enemies.
Lisl: That’s right you don’t. Next Slam you have two very real ones in FPV and Steve Orbit. It would be smart to focus on them, because if you don’t either one can easily take you down.
Scoutmaster: I’m not afraid of either Mister Orbit or Mister Venable.
Lisl: Good. You can be sure they feel the same way about you. And they’re motivated. Frank’s got to be steamed about losing the People’s Title to Tek, and Steve is going to want to do as much damage as possible to you before your match at “One” for the US Championship. Don’t forget, he still owes you a receipt for turning on him after your tag match against the Misfits.
Scoutmaster: Heh. That’s his own fault. If Steve Orbit didn’t want to get “Knotted Up”, he should not have pursued Miss Ophelia Pain so lasciviously.
Lisl: That’s not quite how I remember it, Stuart.
Scoutmaster: I’m not surprised that you would stick up for him, Miss Anne, but I am disappointed. You, of all people, should be apprehensive about Steve Orbit. He is a misogynistic thug that deserves nothing less than a scalp to sole flaying.
Lisl: The Mack may have his flaws, but he’s not even close to the biggest creeper in this company. Take the guy you’re tag teaming with, just for example.
Scoutmaster: Nathan Von Liebert? I agree. The man is depraved. Having to partner with him disgusts me. But this is another instance of the ends justifying the means. If I can use him to rescue the United States Championship from that back alley hustler, then I will.
Lisl: I don’t know about all that, Stuart, but I will admit the prospect of you becoming US Champ is intriguing. Part of me is even rooting for you to win, just to see what happens.
Scoutmaster: That just means there is hope for you yet… Lisl.
******
Days after the above transcribed phone conference, Scoutmaster reported to Reading to tape his promo. Despite the censoring, and the grim message in his forthcoming monologue, it is a surprisingly chipper Stuart Slane standing in front of the WCF studio cameras.
“It’s not the end of the world, but you can see it from here.”
This idiomatic expression was never more apropos Sunday night at WCF’s Pay Per View. Because it was there that the conspiracy I have been warning others about for months committed two audacious assaults against the sport of professional wrestling. This group, that I have been advised not to directly reference by the producers of this promotion, plotted to cheat me out of winning the Hardcore Title. Doubt my words? Watch my match against the Champion Roy Speede and… the other participant. That third man threw me from a height greater than two stories, no doubt in hopes of ending my career right then and there. He did this recklessly with no regard for himself and his well-being. Who knows what that faction I cannot name promised this zealot for his crazed suicide dive? My guess is seventy two ring rats and an Internet Title shot.
It is clear, Slaneiacs, that the cabal whose identity must be kept under wraps wanted me out of the way when they sprung their final surprise. One of the key leaders of this mystery group returned to the company! Worse, he told a thunderstruck audience of millions he had bought it from its owner, Mister Seth Lerch! This palace coup has shaken the Wrestling Championship Federation to its very core. If successful, it will lead to one monolithic entity assuming total dominance. The Apocalypse is coming, and there are only two people who can stop it. The aforementioned Mister Lerch, can beat back this challenge by defeating the putsch’s leader in a wrestling match. As esteemed as my employer is, I don’t put much faith in this happening. Jon- the unidentified quisling is going to slaughter him.
I believe Mister Lerch knows this. That is why he has chosen me as the Number One Contender for the United States Title. This belt is considered the second most important in the company, and a stepping stone to the World Heavyweight Championship, which is currently held by one of the conspirators. The current US Title holder is also part of this group.
Connect the dots, Slaneiacs.
Mister Lerch knows he is doomed to fail in his attempt to save the WCF, so he has hand-picked me to carry on his struggle after he is destroyed by these sinister forces. What an honor has been bestowed upon me! I am now shouldering the burden of protecting the legacy and future of the company. And what better place to do this at the most important event put on by the Wrestling Championship Federation: its end of the year marquee pay per view “One”.
I am not the kind to put much faith in astrology, but even I can see how the stars are aligning. My epic quest to rid the WCF of this many headed monster begins this Sunday at the Hartford Civic Center, and while it is just the first step, it will not be easy. I am facing two very highly decorated wrestlers in Frank Patrick Venable and the current US Champion. Between them, they have won every recognized title this federation has excluding the Internet Championship; but, if I may be blunt, that belt lost its significance once I stopped wearing it. Which is an excellent way to bring me to my next point.
Yes, Mister Venable and his tag team partner are esteemed. Yes, they headline Pay Per Views. Yes, they are seen as part of the “next wave” of main eventers, the brightest stars in the WCF Firmament. But that is only because neither man has yet to face me.
I am not impressed with the recent run of Frank Venable. His World Championship reign was a flop. He won the People’s Title because the previous champion all but laid down for him in the ring. The first stable FPV led, the Darkside of Treachery, became the punch line to a bad joke. The only success he has had recently was creating Genesis, a faction in which he is arguably the fifth best wrestler out of five. The man has been coasting on his initials for months, and if he tries to do this Sunday he will be slaughtered. As for his tag team partner, the man I will face at “One,” I will admit he is capable. But that’s as far as it goes. Trading wins with Odin Balfore isn’t going to impress anyone anymore.
This Sunday, these two are going to be facing men with abilities far superior to their own. My start in the WCF may have been rocky, but once I found my footing there is little that has stopped me. Discounting my anemic start, I have four times as many wins as losses in my career. Only two active WCF wrestlers have beaten me by pinfall. My reign as Internet Champion ended only because- well, we all know why at this point. I should not even have to say it. These are facts that can’t be argued, and they prove that I should be considered one of this company’s elite.
As for my partner in this upcoming match, Nathan Von Liebert may be a pipsqueak with standards so low he willingly volunteers to ally himself with (AUDIO EDIT), but none of that changes the fact he is a dangerous opponent in the ring. He complements my strength and mat skills with speed and striking ability, making us a team that can take on any other in the WCF. Fortunately for the current Tag Team Title holders that is not our plan. I do not like Mister Von Liebert. Nor do I respect him. But he is the perfect instrument to aid me in giving this company what it desperately needs: a United States Champion that represents the BEST of America. At Sunday Night Slam, FPV and his stable mate are overmatched. If they’re Genesis, the two of us are Revelations, and we will soon show them that their time in the spotlight is almost over.